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𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐄-𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄;

𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝚆𝙰𝙽𝚃𝚂 𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝙸𝚃 𝚆𝙰𝙽𝚃𝚂 𝙵𝚃.𝙻𝙸𝙻𝚈

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𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 does crazy things to one, it makes you lose your mind and lose yourself but when you feel like you can be who you are at least at minimal around a person is when you realise that you're in true love.

I'm in love with the most wonderful boy in the world Keres. I really love Keres, he's charming, kind and funny but I feel like our relationship is just too formal and every time I talk to him I feel like I just can't blabber and say whatever I want. I feel like I have to phrase out a whole damn conversation in my head and read it out. It's just not natural.

But, something in him just keeps me so attached to him. His warm hugs, his smile, his blue eyes and his chocolate curls. He's just so pure unlike me. There are so many times I wonder why I am attracted to him, but whenever I'm with him I just enjoy his company and presence. An hour feels like a minute when I'm with him.

But one thing that keeps bothering me is the existence of a creature called Lysander Scamander. Well, he's my um, ex-love. He's just made different. He's chill, calm and composed, his smiles and words are as valuable as gold. He's hot as fuck. Like really hot, I wouldn't be surprised if he turns out to be a model.

His personality is pretty much of a narcissist. He thinks he's great and good at everything but he's not wrong, he's actually good at everything except anything which involves other humans so I can't really classify him as a narcissist.

The issue here is that, I love Keres so much I would devote my life to acting and faking my personality for him but on the other hand Lysander is just the chillest dude in the world.

He might have a crazy mind but he's the kind of person to react to, "OMG SOMEONE DIED" with a reply of a low voice, "Oh" in his straight face. I feel like he'd be the one posing himself as a 'good boy' but he's really a 'bad bad boy' when it comes to love and that's just so CUTE <3

But recently he's been quite high and smiling a lot. SO I SUSPECT HIM OF BEING IN LOVE. I wonder who she is, but I got a gut feeling that he likes me. OK WHY DO I KEEP THINKING THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND ME? BUT REALLY I THINK HE LIKES ME.

I don't know why but he's just acting all weird in front of me and I think he likes me and for some reason I HATE IT! But I want it at the same time.

I just hope I'm not delusional, what if I'm going around thinking Lysander likes me and she is actually after Michelle or someone.

The main reason I can't confirm is because he's giving me like FUCKING MIXED SIGNALS. One day he's like 'you're so beautiful' and acts all friendly and flirty and the next day he's like 'Kneel before me you peasant'

I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE GIVE ME MIXED SIGNALS LIKE BRO DO YOU LIKE ME OR NOT?

But under any circumstances, I would choose Keres over Lysander. Keres is just a different feeling, he's like summer and ice creams and a beach vacay whereas Lysander is let's just say quite futile when it comes to romance. He looks good but his attitude and his dominance might upset me. Plus, with both of our hell of an ego no way it's happening even if it does it's going to end in flames.

I just feel like I need some actual love in my life and not the dramatic fantasy ones straight out of a story book in which some hot, murder and suicide obsessed guy is like in psychotic love with the female lead. That's actually fine, the worst part is that that female lead acts all weak and shattered in his sight.

I just want someone who can really be a sunshine. Even though I wouldn't mind a hot guy obsessed with murder wearing all black. FUCK MY DOUBLE STANDARDS. I'm asking for too much.

This is why I feel so suffocated, I feel like I like both Keres and Lysander at the same time and that's just WRONG. Like IT'S NOT NORMAL TO LIKE TWO GUYS AT THE SAME TIME. AHHHHHHH, THIS IS JUST EXHAUSTING YOU KNOW. OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING!

Currently, I was dressed up in a black jacket with cream cargo pants and with black boots ready to go to an ice cream shop with Lysander. We were going to meet Lorcan at the ice cream bar directly. I walked out of the room and saw Lysander standing in his black hoodie and dark jeans and his Nikes with his messy blonde hair and his piercing shining in the light.

"Let's go" he said as we touched a port key and we teleported to the nearby town. He's been quite off ever since two days ago I told him to set boundaries. The only reason I set boundaries is because I want to love Keres to the fullest. But he took it in an offensive way.

I'LL BE BRUTALLY HONEST, I REALLY WANT TO KILL LYSANDER. HE'S SO ANNOYING! HE ALWAYS HAS A STRAIGHT FACE HIS HE'S SAD, HAPPY, ANGRY, I CAN'T EVEN READ HIS FACE! At this point I'm questioning my own facts. Maybe he's just being normal and I'm just over thinking. Maybe he's not in love or anything?

We both silently walked on the crowded streets of Sixth Avenue. His eyes looked tired and sleepy, his face was blank but I bet his mind was messy. "Lysander" I called him out to crack this overwhelming silence. "Hm?" He asked, he didn't seem very pleased.

Then he got a phone call and he spoke. It was Lorcan on the phone. After he ended the call I asked, "What happened?". "Lorcan's not coming, it's just us" he said. I nodded.

I kept looking at his face. WHY DOESN'T HE SHOW ANY SIGNS AT ALL?! I USED TO THINK I WAS SMART BUT HE'S MAKING ME LOOK SO NAÏVE RIGHT NOW AND IT'S PISSING ME OFF.

"Scamander, what's your deal?" I asked him angrily, losing my cool. When I meant boundaries I didn't mean like not talking and all, I just freaked out. The moment we had after we played Mario Kart, I just felt possessed.

I just don't want things to happen between us and ruin our friendship and my relationship with Keres. I just freaked out and told him to maintain boundaries and now he just drew a line that I can't even cross even if I want to.

"I'm maintaining boundaries" he said. "Can you stop? It's annoying! Stop acting childish" I said. "Then boundaries?" I asked. "I just freaked out that day cause I- thought- maybe you liked me- and I didn't want things to change between us. Ly, I can't keep losing you all the time" I said truthfully.

"Lily, you should first understand that the world doesn't revolve around you, stop making things in your mind with facts. If I did like you, why would you be with Keres? I would have gotten rid of him a long time ago. If I wanted you, why would I reject you in the first place? " he asked me with his scary glare.

My heart melted, I was being delusional. Why would he like me? He can't love me, he- I'm just not good enough I guess. Why do I keep screwing things between us all the time? Everything is on me. I don't understand how he just does it. You know, guilt trip and make us feel bad with his expressions.

I know the reason why I keep running back to Lysander. It's because, at the end of the day, he's the one who cherishes me for who I am. I'm not really that brave fiery Lily Luna, I cry a lot and no one really knows that except him. I'm emotionally pretty weak too. I can just feel it.

Deep down I know that he's the one I'll love the most but at the same time, I can't be with him. I love him so much but I'm scared of disappointing him and I'm scared that I might be wrong. I'm scared that he might not turn out to be the ideal boyfriend I was hoping to see. I just don't want things to change. BUT I REALLY LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

It's just painful not being in love with someone you want to because you feel both of us aren't ready for it, it's just hard to bury your true love and move on to another boy that quick. I'm still not over Lysander even after Keres changed my idea of love.

I just hope that one day I'll be able to look at Keres and love him as much as I loved Lysander.

I don't want to break the heart of a pure soul like Keres, that sin will never leave me alone. I really need a hug right now, I wish Keres was here.

Me and Lysander entered the shop which was all pink. It definitely lightened up my mood a bit. We both stood in a line and I looked at the menu. "I'm sorry" Lysander said in an unpleasant way with a grudge. "For?" I asked. "You know, overreacting" he said. HE WAS SORRY?

"I really don't like you and I really don't want you to be dating Keres, I have a bad feeling about him" he said. "Keres? You should know that Keres is such a sweetheart, he's not two faced like you" I said. How dare a person like him judge a pure soul like Keres. Ly, I love you but you're crossing the limits.

"Fine then, when you break up. Don't be surprised" he said slyly. WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM? WHY'S HE ACTING LIKE AS IF HE'S MY FATHER AND KERES IS GOING TO MARRY ME?

"Uhm, ok" I said annoyed. I don't know why but I feel like he's planning something plus why is he so obsessed over Keres because I swear even Keres is obsessed over Lysander. Maybe something is going on between them and I'm some kind of third wheel? What part of the story is still untold and blinded from me? I'm so confused.

"Your order?" Asked the lady at the counter. Lysander nudged me, "Umm, a bubblegum ice cream" I said. "Anything else?"she asked. "A Hazel- I mean Match- I mean a double chocolate ice cream" Lysander said struggling. I was trying hard not to laugh my ass off.

"Dude what were you trying to do?" I asked laughing. "Shut up" he said, embarrassed. Ly is so cute when he screws up, his awkwardness always lights up my mood. We both waited silently.

Then the lady handed in our ice creams and I took a look at my gorgeous blue, pink, purple mixed ice cream while Lysander's was just filled with chocolate and was plain brown in colour.

"The cone covers are fortune telling papers, you know?" Lysander said as he took the paper wrapped in the cone and looked inside it. "You'll get what you want" he read out from the paper. "What do you want?" I asked. "I'm finally going to get a better life I guess" he said as he threw the paper in the bin. I opened mine's and read:

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒, 

𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐎𝐑...

I tore it up immediately before Lysander could peek into it and threw it away. Oh gosh am I blushing right now? WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME I WAS JUST HATING HIM LIKE A FEW SECONDS AGO. Then my mind said, 'The heart wants what it wants' and I just told my mind to shut up and get a life instead of hopelessly falling in love with two guys at the same time and ruining my life. I'm pretty sure my mind will blame my heart now.

My heart slowly raced as I gazed at Lysander's shoes as I licked my ice cream. The ice cream was good, but not as good as the macaroons Jared sent for his birthday which was today! DECEMBER 20! I should probably give something back, maybe a keychain or something?

"What did it say?" He asked as I snapped out of my thoughts. I lifted my head to face him and our eyes met and I felt a sudden sense of overwhelmingness when our eyes met and I went back to focusing my sight on my ice cream and I replied to his question,

"I'll be lucky in love apparently" I lied. He just smiled. WHY DID HE SMILE? I'M SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW! AGAIN! HE'S GIVING MIXED SIGNALS HE JUST TOLD ME THAT HE DOESN'T LIKE ME AND NOW HE'S SMILING? BUT- smiling is not-

OK BUT LYSANDER SCAMANDER DOESN'T GO SMILING AROUND FOR FUN! I THINK HE LIKES ME! NO I'M SURE HE LOVES ME AND CAN'T RESIST IT! AM I GETTING WAY TOO AHEAD OF MYSELF? WAIT WHY DO I CARE WHETHER HE LIKES ME OR NOT. I LIKE KERES.

"This shop is famous for its fortune telling, I heard once two high school students bought an ice cream and it was written that they both were soulmates but actually the like despised each other but now they're like married with two kids" he said. I choked on my saliva. Deep inside I really hoped that fortune paper was right even though a part of me is still in that, 'meh' situation.

"Probably a coincidence" I said. "I don't believe in all this either" he said as he finished his ice cream and bit into the cone. I quickly finished my ice cream and we decided to walk back to the Scamander's residence which was 2 kilometres away.

"WOOOOO!!" I said as I stretched my hands as we walked on the streets of this beautiful olden European style town. I've lived in the city my whole life but I just seem so attached to the countryside.

"The ice cream was good, right?" Lysander asked. "YES INDEED!" I said with a cheerful voice. I had nearly forgotten the fact that we both were so awkward and we were not talking to each other. The ice cream had completely changed my mood. I suddenly felt so high and then I felt a snowflake on my face.

"It's snowing!" I gasped as another snowflake fell on my hand and disappeared. Lysander stretched his arms as a snowflake disappeared at contact. "I know a spot where there is a good view" Lysander said.

WE slowly walked in a trail of snow and reached a small shelter-like place on top of a small hill.

I was given a chance to look at a breathtaking view of the town filled with lights getting glittered by the snowflakes. "Pretty right?" He asked, standing right behind me. I could feel his warm shuddered breath. I turned to him and smiled. "Thanks for the ice cream" I said.

"It's nothing" he said and we were just awkwardly staring at each other. I'm pretty sure we wanted to talk about something but we didn't know what to talk about. Then a sudden cold blueness went through me. For some reason I really expected Keres to come and find me and get close to me and hug me and embrace me. I wanted to feel his love right now it just seemed so right.

I leaned on the pillar looking at the view. I closed my eyes, I want Keres here right now and I opened my eyes like a stupid girl hoping he would appear but Keres wasn't there, Lysander was. He came closer to me and I widened my eyes. He outstretched his arms and placed his right arm above my shoulder. WHAT IS HE DOING?!

My heart began to race. "Lysan-" I started. "Shhh" he said as he closed up. I didn't want to resist. I didn't want him to push him away. I don't know why but it's just something about him-He had me covered up and I felt the atmosphere get warm. He came close to me and I-

I held his jacket, "Lysander move-" I started as he ran his fingers down my jacket. My face turned pinker and pinker my lips went dry. "Don't get scared" he muttered under his breath. MY FUCKING HEART SCAMANDER DO YOU HAVE ANY REGARD? IF I DIE IT'S ON YOU. Also, I'm not scared of you Ly, I'm scared that I might end up falling for you again if you keep this up and that's just annoying.

He ran his fingers down my palms and his fingers slightly entangled with mine and I got goosebumps. His mesmerising icy eyes and his warm golden hair trying to mix with mine. I suddenly felt overwhelmed and my hands turned icy. I stared into his dark aura. He's just too- I don't know. I felt possessed and enchanted.

The heart really wants what it wants.

I want to feel his lips, just once.

Lord, forgive me for what I'm about to do.

I pulled his jacket closer in haste, "Potter" Scamander let out a groan. "Just once, cooperate would ya?" I whispered as I moved closer and our noses brushed. I could feel his heavy breath on mine and his heartbeat pacing like he ran a marathon. He clutched me in his arms and I moved closer. SHIT, MY LIPS SEEM SO DRY. I SHOULD HAVE USED SOME LIP BALM.

I ran my fingers down his neck and his golden skin. Why did he have to be in a jacket? He's all covered up, I can't get a feel of his skin.

"Bubblegum" Lysander muttered under his breath, is he drunk or something? What is he saying? I ran my fingers down his face and I placed my fingers on his lips. My stomach was having a whole butterfly party down there but my eyes were all on him. All I could think of was him. ONLY HIM <3

I ran my fingers down to his neck and wrapped my hand around and I pulled him against me and I kissed him slowly, he pressed me against the wall and I enjoyed the taste of his velvety chocolate lips. But he didn't kiss me back—

I savoured every moment of our kiss. Finally I got what I wanted, I got a feel of him. It was addicting but I don't want to scare the poor thing. It's probably his first time.

He pulled away and it looked like he was on the verge of passing out. OH SHIT DID I GO FULL ON KISSING HIM THAT HE'S TRAUMATISED?! AM I REALLY THAT BAD OF A KISSER?! OH FUCK DID I JUST CHEAT ON KERES?

OH SHIT, I HAD A REALISATION. WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING DID I JUST KISS HIM!? WHAT GOT INTO ME!? LILY SNAP OUT OF IT!

His expression changed and he looked weirded out as he awkwardly let out a gasp and said, "Aha!" And I was confused.

He took a big emerald-coloured beetle from my hair and threw it on the floor. A BEETLE? IS THAT WHY HE CAME CLOSE TO ME?

"I told ya not to freak out" he said a little flustered as he tried to bury the incident that just happened. I'm delusional, I thought he was going to make a move on me because he likes me. Guess at the end of the day what I thought was right, I'm fucked in the head.

My cheeks turned red in embarrassment. "I didn't- you gave me-" I stuttered. "What?" He asked as if nothing had happened. BRO HOW!? ARE YOU REALLY THAT INSENSITIVE?! COME ON I JUST CHEATED ON MY BOYFRIEND!

"It's late we should go Potts, I don't want to be answering my mom" he said in an annoyed voice. "Yeah sure" I said and looked at him as his hair waved in the cold breeze.

Deep inside even I hit a guilt. I cheated on Keres, I can't believe I did it. I swear I love him from the earth to the moon but a part of me was jumping in a guilty pleasure. I kissed Lysander, he didn't resist, he didn't complain, he gave no comments. He's either trolling me or maybe he LOVES ME!

No, he can't love me. We're just ill fated lovers. We're not ready for each other. Today was just haste. That's a mind voice. My heart just kept beating every time I took a secret glance at him, 'Catch him and grab him' my heart screamed.

This is wrong Lily, you can't play with the feelings of both of these boys. I should choose one and I chose Keres. I got emotional and bewitched- I can never forgive myself for this.

And I know that all too well I'll try my best to stop suspecting him of loving me and maybe for once make some effort to love Keres like how I loved my Lysander.

I looked at his quiet and soft expression and smiled, why? He picked up a kitten who was in the corner of the shelter shivering. He slowly petted the kitten and gave his warm breath. Just why do you have to have 'Lily Luna Potter' written all over you and at the end you just shred it and say, 'NAH'.

"Lysander" I called him in hesitation. "What?" He asked, rolling his eyes. "I'm sorry, and you know the uhm, I was just emotional and I kissed you I don't like you it just happened in the moment. I deserve to die, you can kill me if you want" I blurted out in embarrassment.

"Stop explaining yourself, I already told you, you're just proving to me that you have feelings for me" he said calmly. His facial expression didn't change a bit. He wasn't angry nor surprised nor excited.

"I-" I started. "You did it in haste- this never happened just like all of our previous kisses" he said as his eyes glowed up in compassion. "It's hard" I said. "Keres and you are going to have a hard time, consider this the beginning" he said as he walked and I followed him.

What is he planning? How did he know I cheat and mine and Keres' relationship is going to go through one hell of a drive? Does he like me...?

☆꧁✬◦°˚°◦. 𝕃𝕚𝕝𝕪.◦°˚°◦✬꧂☆

NOT-SO-EXCLUSIVE LYSANDER'S P.O.V:

That bug on her hand was so distracting it was stealing away the beauty of her eyes. I need to take that from her hair without freaking her out. I walked towards Lily and slowly leaned on her and brought myself close, I hope she doesn't get the wrong idea. I'm tryna help her.

I leaned on closer to her. She looked so pretty, her eyes gleaming her red hair with a few snow particles caught in her hair. Her smooth nose and the cute little freckles which were noticeable at such a close proximity. I really would enjoy a romantic snowfall kiss right now, such a shame that she's with Keres.

I went closer and I could feel her heavy breath on my neck. She gave a twitch and I said, "Shh". She might make the bug fly away. I'll be honest though the only reason I'm going this is to get a nice glance at her and enchant her with my charisma. I ran my fingers down her hand to catch it and she blushed. I hope she doesn't get the wrong idea.

Then Lily held my jacket, "Lysander move-" she said. Potter look I'm tryna help you. I ran my fingers down her hand to catch the bug but it flew to her hair. I slowly stretched my hand and touched her hair and ran my fingers down . Ok that was a bit extra, now time to catch the bug!

Then Lily pulled me closer. "Potter" I groaned. She should stop moving, it's a poisonous bug, if it stings you're likely to get paralyzed or die. "Just once, cooperate would ya?" She said, What the hell is she blabbering about, is she high or something?

She pulled me closer and my heart went FUCK. WHAT IS SHE DOING? SHE'S JUST DESPERATELY MAKING ME WANNA KISS HER. I analysed her red lips and scanned her face. Our noses brushed and my cheeks turned pink.

She looked determined to have me. How uhm... unexpected? But I can't let this happen, KERES has to cheat on LILY. WAIT I JUST REALISED, SHE HAS FEELINGS FOR ME? OH THIS IS GOING TO EASIER THAN I THOUGHT.

She slowly ran her fingers down my neck and I felt like my skin was burning. I tried to tell myself to stop but I was secretly enjoying every moment. Her finger tips moved around my face and she placed them on my lips. OK NOW I FEEL TRIGGERED. THIS IS WRONG IN SO MANY WAYS. ESPECIALLY WITH KERES IN THE PICTURE, I SHOULD PULL AWAY AND RETREAT.

But all I could admire is her calm, sneaky face. Her cat eyes looked hungry for me. Her hair over my shoulders burning me down and her chest plastered against mine burning my heart down. I was about to resist back when.

She then pulled me closer and she-

kissed me.

WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT....? DUDE WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT'S THE CHANCE HER ICE CREAM WAS SPIKED?

She moved her lips on mine and kissed me slowly but hardly. I tried pulling away but I pushed her against the wall in haste. Her lips tasted like bubblegum probably because of the ice cream. I really couldn't hold back and wanted to kiss her back and embrace her and tell her how much I loved her. But- no... Not yet... I can't make Lily the bad girl and make her a cheater.

I didn't kiss her back. I pulled away from her with a huge disappointment that it couldn't last forever. I can't believe it. We did it.

I was still pink cheeked and a bit confused trying to process the whole situation.

All I knew was that this day never happened, we never kissed just like the other two times. We are only going to have our first kiss on the day I ask her out and that's not any time soon, not until I make Keres look like a bad guy.

We both walked back home as the snowflakes were sprinkled like glitter from the sky. Her red hair was filled with sparkling diamonds and her cute black jacket, her green eyes which triggered my envy.

Why are you confused, Lils? Can I help you? It's simple, come running home to me... I swear, I'll show you what real love looks like.

XX~𝐿𝓎𝓈𝒶𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇~XX