•••

•SALOME ALAN•

I realized today just how aesthetic the library is in the evening. Like I shouldn't leave. I sigh for the tenth time, tearing my eyes off the closed window to the enormous history book in front of me. The late sun somehow slip through the thick rolls of glass windows, serving the room warmth.

I've been in the library most of the time now. During lunch breaks, free periods, even after school hours. Before you ask about my after school tutoring classes, I'd say that there is no way I can go to Mr. Alex's office. I respect him, but I just can't face him now. I hope he understands.

It's been two days since I walked out on him at the library basement. Ever since, I didn't have any cause to see him, and vice versa because we haven't had literature for two days now.

I slap the textbook closed, raising my heavy eyes to the white wall clock at the top, rubbing my forehead with my thumb and index finger.

6:04pm.

It's getting late, and I think I was able to grab a few things to my head from history. I get up slow enough not to distract any other person who might still be around. Going over to the allocated textbook shelf, I stuff it in an empty space, and make my way out of the library. Our pretty librarian smiles at me, and I return a beam back to her. She is nice, no doubt. Hardly heard of nice librarians.

I stroll out of the glass doors to be met with the ever cool evening breeze, requiring me to heave a deep breath. Using the shortcut by walking beside the library building to get to the school gate, I adjust the sleeves of my blazer jacket, mentally counting how many weeks left to my 18th birthday, and external exams.

It didn't take long before I get to the parking lot, taking my steps one at a time, all the while enjoying every whiff of the amazing natural breeze, absentmindedly humming a random song that I don't know the title in my head.

My footings gradually slow down to the sight of my teacher, standing and resting against the side of his vehicle just at the entrance of the parking lot. I blink away, my chest thudding hard. He shouldn't see me, I don't want him to. Not after my reaction toward him the other day. I turn to see him again, his head is a bit bowed to his cellphone to notice me.

I let out a quivering breath, turning around to--

"Salome,"

My eyes pop open, my feet instantly glued to the ground. I don't hear footsteps, means he isn't coming closer.

"Salome, I won't come closer, just don't walk away, please."

His voice... he sound stressed, filled with worry. Mr. Alex never sounded this way.

"I'll... I'll wait for you in the vehicle." He says, just as I hear the opening sound of the door, with a light slam afterwards. I breathe down, gulping as I glance over my shoulder. He's truly in his vehicle, waiting. I squeeze my hands tight to reduce whatever tension left in me, slowly advancing to the vehicle. I shouldn't go, I really shouldn't. But my legs are acting on their own again, and before I know it, I'm seated in the front seat of Mr. Alex's vehicle, only that I'm looking straight at the other parked vehicles through the windscreen.

I draw in a breath. "Good evening." I can't look at him.

"Good evening. How are you?"

I feel his eyes on me from my side eyes, and from nowhere my heart race increase. "I'm okay..."

Mr. Alex breath down, and my heart burn a bit, remembering how I spoke to him the other day. I gravely thought about it and realised that the reason I cried so much was because I was jealous. It hurt so much seeing him with a lady.

"I'm so sorry about the other day, Salome. I really am." His tone is dripping with a taste of regret, and I'm afraid I'll get scared all over again. "I'm really not the type to act without thinking, and as much as I can't change it, I'm honestly hoping it won't chase you far from me."

It get to my throat, and I gulp. "I-I was jealous." I slowly look up at him, blinking into his honey eyes. "I saw someone in your office that day and I didn't know what took over me." My chest ease a bit, seeing him keenly facing me with all attention.

"Oh," Mr. Alex appear like he's in his thoughts, his fingers tapping on his thigh. I notice he does that when he's analysing something. He look at me again, exhaling softly. "That was my cousin. Kimberly."

I grow numb, my head going blank for a second. His sister?

"My cousin sister. It was her birthday, and I asked her to meet me in school." He adds, feeding me every detail. The more he adds, the more I feel... stupid?

"Was busy and didn't have the chance to see her so-"

"Oh..." I carefully interrupt, nodding. "I... I didn't know, I'm sorry I acted that way at the basement, Mr. Alex." I genuinely say, but he just smile a bit, flipping me back to him pressing his lips on mine.

He turn the key to his vehicle which let out soft wailing sounds, before sparing me a glance. "I totally understand. Also, thanks for letting me know how you felt."

I purse my lips, playing with the hem of my skirt. "You're welcome." I reply in a low voice.

Mr. Alex drives out the school parking lot, out of our familiar gates, and into the main road. It has gotten dark, giving nothing but an aesthetical therapic road with street lights. I've been quiet, so as my teacher. I don't know what's going through his head, but judging by his composure? His looks calm, eyes mostly on the road, hands romantically twirling the steering wheel.

"I'm glad you can look at me now." He says from nowhere, and I jerk my head front. Was it that obvious?

"Oh..." I mutter.

Mr. Alex smiles at me, and I didn't know when I smiled back.

"I'll take full responsibility, Salome."

I keep mute, wanting to hear what has been thinking of all along.

"Also, I really want to see you do well. That would make me so happy." He says, eyes on the road. I smile down, tears threatening to cloud my vision. "I don't even know how I'd express it." He throws a look at me, and I sniff in the crybaby emotions twirling in me.

"Me too..." I manage to say, nodding.

Mr. Alex giggles shortly, and I take the chance to steal a look at him. How does he utter some kind of words yet remain so relaxed...

"Thanks. I mean, even though I'd need to be extra careful in order not to do anything against your will."

I know where he's heading.

"I understand." I really do, but I love spending time with him. "Does that mean..." I trail off, noticing his stare at me. "That we wouldn't..." I can't even complete it.

"That we won't talk? Have you forgotten I'm your private tutor?" Mr. Alex chuckles, and my mind melts. He always get it.

"No..." He reassures me. I drag in a long breath, feeling as though a huge stone have been lifted off my chest. "Please don't hesitate to tell me if I make you uncomfortable."

I look at him fully, eyes darting around his side face, then hum. "Okay."

He smiles again, nodding.

It's so obvious how much he's going to be careful around me. A part of me, well, likes it, and a part of me knows how much I love been around him.

I didn't notice how far we've gone until Mr. Alex turn to my house lane, rolling down the concrete road. It has gotten a lot darker now, but the street lights be doing the most in lighting the street.

It took me a while to know that having to communicate with my teacher resolves whatever doubt I have concerning anything. He's always ready to listen without judging, and patient to hear my point of view.

"And here we are." He makes a stop beside my home, turning to see my face which has been plastered with smiles, contagious enough to pull one to his lips. "Uh, should I ask why the smiles?"

My smile stretches to a grin, as I pick my knapsack beside my feet. I place it on my thighs. "It's just... really nice been with you."

Mr. Alex maintain eye contact for seconds, then nod. "It is, thanks for understanding."

I unlock the bolt and push the door open, welcoming cold air. "Goodnight..." I sing, climbing out and shutting the door with a light slam.

He gives a curt wave, smile still lingering before zooming pass me. I watch his vehicle propel down the road before heaving a satisfying breath, walking to ring the doorbell.

I feel so relieved, so elevated that I finally got to talk with him maturely. Mr. Alex listens, and I love that about him. And his gentleness while driving, God...

I approach the door, white lights luminating through the thick curtains. Someone is home.

Just as I raise my folded knuckle to knock, the door swings open in my face. I blink up to see smiling Maria standing with the door wide opened. She paves way for me to come in, and I give a smile of thanks, walking in. How did she know I was at the door though? Didn't remember pressing the doorbell.

"Good evening." I greet, turning around as she bolt the door, facing me.

"Welcome Salome." She beckons closer, engulfed in a sky blue knicker-bocker trouser and white crop top, her black hair pouring down her shoulders. Someone would think she's Indian or something, she looks like them. Slim face, bright eyes, and thin nose.

"Thanks." I say, diverting my gaze to the sitting room. Is she the only one at home?

"How was school?" Maria question, moving to the couch, obvious she was watching a movie which is still playing. "Saw your teacher alighted you earlier."

Exactly, she saw me.

"Y-yes, he did." I try fighting back a smile, making my way to the stairs. "Uh, is my dad home?"

"No, had some stuff to take care of at work," She reply almost immediately. I pause on the stairs, nodding at her answer.

"Okay." I say, more to myself, before disappearing into the corner of my space.

The second I get inside my room, I fling my bag to a corner, and begin stripping off my uniform, been wearing this since dawn.

Didn't take long for me to freshen up, apply some night care knits aunt Jenny got for me sometime back, not like I remember to use them often but you know, a girl needs to be extra sometimes. All times. Don't mind me.

I give myself one more look at my reflection in my full sized mirror. Hair plaited in neat cornrolls, baggy grey round neck, and brown shorts. I stuff my legs in my flurry flip-flops and walk out of my room, closing the door behind.

I hear soft laughter, mild giggles, then gentle crackles as I stroll down the stairs in slow strides so I won't alert my presence. I stop on the stairs and peep through to see Maria's legs folded on the ash couch, her eyes almost teary from laughing.

Sucking in my lips, I walk down the stairs, prompting her eyes to me.

"Oh hey, you hungry?" She's getting up as she asked. "I made samosa."

"Oh..." I drawl, watching her vanish into the kitchen. In matter of seconds, she's back with a tray of samosa and a glass of grape juice. I almost gasp, quickly reaching her halfway and take it from her. "Oh, wow thanks." I look up at her, and she just nod with a small smile.

"Always."

She retire to her spot on the couch. I turn to head to the dinning but then abruptly get a change of mind, moving to the couch without thinking twice. I settle opposite Maria, gently placing the tray beside me, just to look up to see her looking at me.

Well, have I told you that I've never willingly sat with her alone?

This is my first time.

If she was surprised, she didn't show it, only smile down then head up to continue her movie. I drag in a breath, pushing my legs out of my flip-flops to get comfortable on the couch. Picking one of the brown shaped triangles on my plate, I stir my gaze to the TV.

"You seen Cocain bear?"

I shake my head, taking a glimpse at her. I hardly watched movies, still trying to figure out what I like doing apart from been with Mr. Alex. I almost smile at the thought of him.

"No, hardly watch movies." I tell her, taking a bite of the tasty food. "Hmm..." I hum under my breath, taste so nice.

"Oh," Maria grins, going back to watching. "It's about a female bear who got addicted to cocain."

My interest pricks, but I only nod, taking another bite. "Wow, sounds dangerous." I muffle out with food in my mouth.

"Yes, haven't gone far, I could start it all over if you're interested." She suggests. I blink up at the TV, then to her. Honestly, I didn't know but I find myself nodding my head.

•••

The movie was hilarious. A bit horrific, but compiled with various comic relief characters.

As the name credit rolls up, signifying the end of the movie, I blindly reach of another triangle shaped on my plate, my brows furrowing when I couldn't touch any. Looking down, I realise I had finished it all.

"Want more?"

My eyes sparkle up to Maria's offer. Before I have a chance to reply, she's already taking my plate away. I follow her this time, standing at the kitchen door way as she fork in more samosa on the plate. She turn around to see me, and I didn't know where the courage came to ask;

"What do you like about my dad?"

Her eyes widen, but as though she had been expecting a question like that, smiles proudly. I walk forward to collect the dish myself, muttering a 'thank you.'

She advance to the sitting room with me tailing behind, secretly wondering where the guts to ask such came from. I seat on the couch, still opposite her.

"What I like about your dad you say?"

I nod once, twice, taking a sip of my almost finished drink.

Maria stare at me, her eyes lightening more. She's pretty, also could easily be mistaken for a twenty one year old.

"I love everything about your dad, Salome."

Oh wow.

I chew on my food, slowly nodding. Okay, that was one hell of a confession.

Maria place a palm on her chest. "Don't know if you know my age, but I'm twenty seven."

My eyes pop open, and I pause chewing. That's like, ten years gap between her and my-

"Yes, I know, age gap and all," She pierces through my thoughts, giggling. "But trust me, love doesn't care, Salome."

I'm staring at her attentively this time, watching her voice out everything she can. Love doesn't care?

"Yes, it doesn't. Your dad, your dad is... everything." She breath down, smiling. Now I see just how much she loves him.

"He's everything a woman would ever wish for," She smiles toothy. "A woman with brains of course."

I smile at her last sentence. I don't know why, but I suddenly feel filled. I drop the half eaten samosa on the plate, playing with my oily fingers.

" But It's like... ten years gap." I voice out.

"Like I said, love doesn't give a damn. I mean, there would be obstacles, a bit of challenges here and there,"

Why do I feel like I'm one of the challenges.

"A lot of understanding as well, but anything is possible." She adds.

I let out a shaky exhale, my teacher slipping into my mind. The age gap between Mr. Alex and I can't be up to ten years, but still...

"People would talk, trust me," Maria shrugs, but she seems happier than she has ever been. "But when you know what you want, you go for it."

She isn't talking to me like the teenager I am, she's talking to me like aunt Jenny would, and permit me to say I know more than my age. Well, haven't tried some things but I do know them.

"Hmm okay," I beam at her, appreciating her in-depth analysis. She really made me understand her. I did. "So... there's nothing wrong in liking older guys?" I ask out of the blue, my heart picking up at a faster rate.

Maria relax her back against the couch, and fold her arms beneath her bust while I patiently wait to hear her say on this. Where this courage is coming from again? I have no idea.

"Okay thing is," She start to say, and I adjust in my seat, paying full attention. "Not all older guys are good enough. Some may, you know, appear like they know what they doing, but they don't. Just an adult with an immature mindset, that's how some are."

Wow again.

"So it's not all adult that are sensible too?" I squint my eyes a bit in disappointment.

"Exactly..." Maria nods. "So I won't particularly say yes or no, I'd say it depends."

What about an adult like Mr. Alex?

I question in my mind, yet digesting all she's saying. Haven't really heard in detail about things like this, always thought all grown men know what they're doing.

"It's nice having a conversation with you, Salome." She reveals, pulling me out of my thoughts. I smile truthfully. "Also, it feels like I'm talking to a grown-up." She laughs softly, contagious enough to emit a laugh from me too.

"Really?" I tilt my head a bit, bliss spreading in my insides.

"Yes of course. I don't know if I have the right to say this, but you can ask or tell me anything, I'll listen." She maintain eye contact as she says, then inhale calmly. I recall the day she told my dad that Mr. Alex is safe with me, if I tell her what happened between us the other day, I wonder what she'd say to my dad.

"Okay," I agree after moments of silence. "I will, thanks."

"Always." She assure me.

•••

I keep rolling from side to side on my bed, unable to fall asleep. It's currently 10:40pm and I'm still finding it hard.

Maria didn't leave, she's sleeping over in my dad's room. I discovered today how much clarification could be in just have conversations. To be honest, It was nice having to finally talk with her, even though I couldn't ask about my tutor.

I stretch to pick my phone from the night stand, and pull my blue duvet to my chest, switching on my phone. Since I can't sleep, I'll keep myself busy with Latifah West Instagram page. I haven't been constantly active because of coming external exams and all, but my fan page still stands. I search her name for quicker check, and I'm instantly flooded with her new posts.

I click on her story, my eyes grazing through the flyer she posted. My eye balls shoot out as I seat up from my bed, now watching the video of her inviting her fans for a 'meet and greet' in two weeks time.

"Oh my-yes!" I'm flying from my bed as I watch her pretty self talking on my screen, jumping up and down my center rug. "Oh my God, I'm so going to meet you Latifah!" I squeal, watching with teary eyes. Don't come for me, this right here is worth my tears. "Yes yes yes! I'm so coming!"

"Uh, Salome?" A light knock follow on my room door with Maria's voice.

I jolt back, blinking.

"Are you..." She clears her throat. "Are you okay?"

I open my mouth to answer, unable to stop my face from tearing in a smile. "Uh, yes, I am. Thanks!"

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Why do I feel like Maria was
thinking about something else? ;)

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