J.R.R Tolkien once said 'war must be, while we defend our lives against a destroyer who would devour all; but I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory.  I love only that which they defend.'  When my siblings and I were younger, we used to always watch Lord of the Rings.  War is ugly.  It's not a thing to be glorified.  There is death.  So much death.  And sadness.  But then at the end of it all there is peace.  Only one side can win.  People who don't have any family members or loved ones in the military seem to forget that those soldiers have loved ones waiting for them back home.  The war in Afghanistan has been going on for six years now and the only time I hear about it is when I turn on the occasional news.  But it seems like everyone else forgot about it.  Like it's the forgotten war.  

-

Eleven hours later...

Alison couldn't believe that it seemed like everything around her was crumbled.  It was like a domino effect.  Once it starts it doesn't stop until it gets to the end point.  

How did her life get so bad so fast?

She thought she was doing the right thing.  She thought she was making the right decision.  But it ended up being the very thing that destroyed her.

*

Eleven hours earlier...

"Hey, are you okay?" Addison asks the resident as she notices she's sad and more anxious today.

"My, um," she started to say but shook her head as tears started to cloud her vision.  "My younger brother, James, is being deployed to Afghanistan towards the end of the month."

"Shit, Ali," Addison sympathized with her resident.  "I'm so sorry," she said as she brought in for a hug.  "You know if you need to maybe you should ask Richard for some time off from work."

"No," she shook her head as they stopped hugging.  "I'm okay.  Work will be a good distraction."

"Alright," Addison let out a sigh, knowing how stubborn she could be.  "Just know that I'm here if you ever need anything."

"Thanks," she smiled at her attending.  "So how did it go with Alex?"

"Oh nothing is going to happen with that.  I read the situation entirely wrong and yeah," she smiled strained.

"I'm sorry," Alison pouted.  "If I'm being honest - I love Alex but he doesn't stay with one woman anyway."

"Yeah, I have a bad track record with that too," Addison sighed. 

"Just know you're never alone," Alison said.

"Thanks," Addison smiled at the blonde as she tilted her head slightly.  "Same to you too."

*

"Aren't you going to get in there?" Mark asked Addison as he saw Derek and Burke pestering Richard about something to do with becoming chief.  "You want to be chief you gotta fight with the big boys."

"Oh I intend to fight like a girl.  I'll let them kill each other and then I'll be the only one left standing."

"And then there's me," Mark pointed out.  "There you go underestimating me again."

"It's not that I don't underestimate you it's just that I don't think about you.  At all," she said turning to face him and he smiled.  "What does double A think of you wanting to be chief anyway?" She asked him using a special nickname for Alison whenever Derek was near.  It was in reference to her initials being similar to the double AA batteries and it made Mark laugh hearing that nickname.

"Double A, really?  What does she think of that nickname?  Unlike you, she's supportive.  Said if I want it badly enough then I should fight for it."

"Damnit, I'm going to have to  talk to my resident," Addison says joking like she was disappointed.  "Besides she should be supportive and I shouldn't be.  That's how it all works, Mark."

Mark smiled at the brunette and walked up to the chief.

"I was uh, heading down to the clinic," Mark said to Richard as Derek and Burke stopped laughing and watched Mark.  "It's opening today and I thought it might be nice to show Doctor Bailey a little support."

"Very thoughtful, Doctor Sloan," Richard said.  "I think I'll join you.  Gentlemen if you'll excuse me."

"Certainly," Derek nodded and moved out of the way.  "Nicely done," he said quietly to Mark and Mark agreed.  

*

"Welcome to the Denny Duquette Memorial Clinic," Bailey said to the interns that were in there along with Alison.

"You know, Izzie, I have to say this was really nice of you," Alison complimented the blonde intern.  "I know I've been hard on you but it's only because I care."

"Thank you, Doctor Anderson," Izzie smiled at the blonde.  "I just wanted to do something with the money and it didn't feel right just spending it on a vacation or a house."

"Denny would be proud.  I know he's looking down and smiling today."

"Regarding surgeries, you three will be working here today," Miranda said referencing the interns.

"Working on what?" Cristina asked as she looked around the empty clinic.  

"Right now Olivia will be familiarizing you with the protocol for the flu vaccine."

"Where is everybody?" Izzie asked Miranda as she was bouncing up and down in anticipation and tapping her fingers against the counter.  Alison was leaning against the counter as well.

"Grey will be late, O'Malley should be back from vacation -"

"No, no, no the patients," Izzie said.  "The underserved, uninsured, the population that we are supposed to be helping."

"They'll be here, Doctor Stevens," Alison said with a smile.  "It's only just opened.  Be patient."

"I couldn't have said it better myself, Doctor Anderson," Miranda said in agreement and Alison smiled at her.

"I can't wait," Izzie said overly excited and Alison wondered why she was more excited about this than Miranda.  "It's going to be amazing what Denny's money can do," she exclaimed and Miranda finally had enough of her finger tapping and put her hand on top to stop them.  Alison put her hand to her mouth and let out a small giggle.  

"Just watch the door, Stevens," Miranda said in a serious tone with a facial expression to match making Alison laugh even harder but stopped when the door opened.

They thought it was maybe a patient but it ended up being Mark and Doctor Webber.

"Doctor Bailey," he said soon after opening the door.  "Congratulations on opening the clinic," he finished and then glanced at Alison which she returned with a small smile.

"It is open, right?" Doctor Webber asked looking around the empty clinic and noticing that there wasn't one patient.  Izzie was still staring at the door as Mark and Doctor Webber tilted their heads to the side.  

"Is Stevens alright?" Doctor Webber asked, unsure.

"She's fine," Alison said waving her hand in front of Izzie's face.  "You can stop staring at the door now, Stevens."

"Someone's coming," Izzie exclaimed with excitement as Mark went to stand near Alison and they looked up but it was only O'Malley and Torres.

"Damnit," Izzie exclaimed with frustration as she stomped her foot while Alison and Mark smiled at each other.

"You okay?" He asked leaning towards her.

"Later," she told him not wanting the interns to be listening in and he nodded his head.

"O'Malley, welcome back you're late," Miranda said in a harsh tone while Callie looked at everyone and Alison furrowed her eyebrows at their look as they both put their hands in their pockets, not speaking.

"Is O'Malley alright?" Doctor Webber asked Bailey.

"We got married in Vegas," George announced awkwardly to the group and they all remained quiet before Alison was the first to talk.

"That's amazing," she said walking up to the newly married couple.  "Congratulations!" She said hugging the two.  "Let's see the ring."

Callie awkwardly took her hand out of her pocket and showed the blonde and she smiled at her.

"I know it's small," Callie said trying to justify why the ring is the size it is.  "But I just figured for surgery..."

"It's beautiful, Callie," she smiled at the Latina.  "You don't have to explain anything.  I think it's perfect for you."

"Thank you, Alison," Callie said and while they had a nice conversation George was having a very different one with Izzie and Callie decided to save him.

Alison could hear George telling Izzie to show her the ring and she did.

"Oh that's so great," she started to say and Alison could tell she was being fake.  "Tiny diamonds are great because no one will ever try to steal it."

Izzie only then realized what she said.  Alison thought she was bitch.  Cristina let out a snort.  

"Alright, that's it," Miranda said taking control of the situation.  "Yang - Burke needs you in cardio, O'Malley - the chief has a surgical patient coming into the pit.  Stevens and Karev go find me some patients.  I don't care where you get them just get them.  Congratulations," Miranda muttered to Callie and George and Callie thanks her.

"I better get back to Addison," Alison smiled to Mark and Miranda.

*

Addison, Alison and Clair were busy talking at the desk when all of a sudden someone caught Addison's attention and she kept on staring at him.  Alison and Clair stopped talking as they watched the show but once Addison realized she was caught by Callie, she stopped staring.

"You know those cartoons where there is a bear or whatever and it's starving," Callie began to talk as she leaned on the table while Alison and Clair were listening in.  "And it looks at the table and it turns into this delicious cooked turkey with like lines of deliciousness coming out," she said and Alison busted out laughing and Addison gave her a look.

"Sorry, it was funny," she defended herself, still laughing.

"I was not looking at him like that," Addison said as she made a face at Callie.

"Oh you so were," Alison said and Addison raised a brow.

"What do you think Clair?" Addison asked the nurse practitioner and she was about to answer but Addison retracted her question.  "Actually don't answer that."

"I wasn't," Addison defended herself as she got up from her chair.  "Because he is the help and I am not going to be sleeping with the help," she said taking off her glasses.

"I married the help," Callie said standing up straighter as Addison and Clair looked at her shocked, while Alison heard the news earlier.

"What?" Addison asked in disbelief.

"We went to Vegas.  My idea.  I embrace the trashy," she said laughing quietly.

"What?  Not that I'm not happy for you but why?" Addison asked confused.  "Why get married so fast?"

"You know those cartoons where its a bear and it's starving.  It looks at a cute intern.."

"Well, congratulations," Addison said as she hugged the Latina doctor and Clair did the same.

"You know, I'm starting to think you like to use cartoon bears as analogies," Alison pointed out making all of them laugh.

"Why aren't you acting more surprised?" Addison asked Alison.

"I already knew," she smiled at her attending.  "Found out about them at Bailey's free clinic this morning."

"And you didn't think to tell me," Addison said.

"Or me," Clair said.

"Sorry," Alison smiled sheepishly.  "I didn't think it was my news to share."

"Fair enough," Addison smiled at the blonde and took Callie's left hand as she put her glasses back on.  

"It's small, I know," Callie said with a sheepish smile as Izzie's words replayed in her head.  

"It's beautiful," Addison and Clair said. 

"You think so?" Callie asked.

"Yes."

"See, I told you Callie.  And it's perfect for surgery.  Izzie was just a bitch earlier."

"Why?" Addison asked concerned.  "What happened?"

"Izzie said a bitchy statement about how great it was to have small diamonds because then no one will want to steal it."

"What a bitch," Clair exclaimed.

"Clair's right," Addison agreed.  "Do you want me to take her off our services for five months as payback?" She asked making the women chuckle, especially Callie.

"No, really, it's alright.  I'm unfortunately used to George's friends not liking me."

"But that's just the thing, Callie.  No one should have to be used to that," Alison stated.

"I appreciate it.  Really, I do.  I would just rather work it out with George and his friends."

"Alright," Addison agreed with the Latina.  "But if you ever change your mind you know where to find us."

"Noted," she smiled at her friends.

*

"You want to tell me what's wrong now, little one?" Mark asked his girlfriend after having pulled her into an on-call room and she let out a sigh.  He sat down on the bed and brought her in-between his legs as her hands rested on his muscular shoulders.

"My younger brother, James, is being deployed to Afghanistan at the end of the month."

"Shit, Alison," he says as his hands run down her sides instantly soothing her.  "He's the middle one, right?"

"Yeah," she nods her head.  "Also he knows about us."

"Shit," he blew out a breath he didn't realize he was holding.

"Yeah."

"I'm guessing he knew about me even before we got together?"

"That would be correct," she says watching as he winces.

"Anything I can do to change his mind?"

"Just treat me right," she told him and he grabbed her hand and placed it over his heart.

"You feel that?" He asked referencing to his heart beating faster whenever she was near and she nodded.  "Ever since I walked into your life at the aquarium you changed me.  I have no intention of hurting you," he said pulling her down toward him as he pressed a loving kiss to her lips and she nodded her head.

"I believe you.  You just have to convince him of that," she said as she pointed her finger to his chest and he fell backwards onto the bed, bringing her along with him as they both laughed.

*

"Hey, Doctor Anderson," Nurse Olivia greeted the resident.

"Hey Olivia," she smiled at her and noticed how rushed the nurse seemed.

"Do you mind checking in on Doctor Webber's patient, Mariana Wagner?  I normally wouldn't ask you but I'm kind of in a rush to check on four other patients as well.  Maybe prep her for surgery?"

"Of course," she smiled at the nurse since she didn't have any patients to see right then.  

Alison made her way into Mariana's room and noticed that she was slowly waking up.

"Hi Mariana?" She nodded her head.

"My name is Doctor Anderson.  I'm going to go ahead and prep you for surgery today if you don't mind."

"Do doctors normally?  I thought it was the nurses."

"Only sometimes we do.  I wanted to let you know that you might feel some pain and discomfort after your surgery."

"Oh I already knew that," she laughed softly.

"I'm going to go ahead and start an I.V.," she said as she got the alcohol pad along with the needle and some tape as well as gloves.  "You might feel a pinch but it shouldn't be anything too bad."

She cleaned the area of the patient's arm and then put the needle in.  As she was doing this, for some reason her hands started to shake and she knew that she needed to hurry up otherwise she could mess up the placement of the needle.  

"I didn't even feel that," Mariana said to Alison and she smiled at the patient as she tried to control her uncontrollable shaky hands but couldn't get them to stop.

"Alright you are all set.  The nurse and your doctors will be in here shortly."

"Thanks," she said and as Alison started to get up she felt a little dizzy but shook her head.  It's probably just her imagining it, right?

As Alison started walking further though she felt like she had trouble breathing and now she was shaking all over.  It wasn't just her hands anymore.  

"Alison?" Addison could hardly believe her eyes as she looked at her resident.  "What happened to you?"

"I- I don't know.  I gave Doctor Webber's patient an I.V. and then all of a sudden feel like I can't breathe and my whole body is shivering."

"Alright, well how about you go to Bailey's clinic, yeah?  Have her check you out."

"Yeah," she let out a shaky laugh.  "Good idea, Addi," she said when all of a sudden she was falling face first.  Addison was able to catch her completely before she collapsed in her arms.

"I need a stretcher over here," Addison called out to anyone who listened.

*

"What the hell happened to Alison?" Miranda asked as she was wheeled in, Addison pushing the stretcher.

"She complained of having shaky hands, difficulty breathing and her whole body was shaking before she passed out," Addison said as O'Malley and Olivia looked up.  "Said something about giving Doctor Webber's patient an I.V."

"Did she hit the f-floor?" O'Malley asked.

"I caught her in time."

"O'Malley, you should probably go home because whatever you have is clearly contagious," Miranda said as the lab woman came in with the same symptoms as the others. 

"Do you all feel sick and nauseous?" George asked.

"Yeah, it's awful."

"She's toxic."

"Callie?" Olivia asked as she scoffed.  "Yeah, a lot of us think that."

"No, the patient's blood is toxic.  It's what is making us sick," he said trying to get up out of bed.  Olivia instantly felt bad for Alison that she asked her do something that she should have done.  "Has the chief started Mariana's operation?"

"They were wheeling her up when I came down."

George asked for the phone extension to OR 1 and tried calling down there but no one answered.

*

"How are Richard and Alison doing?" Derek asked Addison for an update as they all now had oxygen masks on them.  Alison was starting to wake up and was slightly confused what had happened.

"Their BP is stabilizing."

"What do you got?" Derek asked Burke.

"They found an herbal supplement in Marina's purse.  Combined with the chemo chemical it turned her blood into some kind of toxic."

"Were lucky they aren't all dead," Mark quipped.  

"The only reason she's alive is because she's intubated."

"Who got them out?" Burke asked.

"O'Malley," Derek said and nodded his head as his stretcher passed by.

*

Alison had picked up Panda Express for the two of them since she didn't feel like making anything.  She still hadn't taken Mark to her favorite pizza place and she planned to do that this weekend.  They had already eaten their food and were now laying in bed after having another round of sex.

"Don't ever scare me like that again," Mark told her as he held her in his arms and she smiled, a closed lip one.  "You aren't allowed to."

"I'll try not to," she told him kissing his hand that was laced with hers when they heard a knock at the door.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked her in concern.

"Yes, Mark," she groaned.  "For the tenth time I'm all good now.  Otherwise I wouldn't have had three rounds with you."

"What about one more?" He asked nipping at her collarbone and she yelped.

"You, Doctor Sloan, are the most insatiable man I have ever met."

"Are you expecting anyone?" Mark asked as they both furrowed their eyebrows, confused, at the knock on the door.

"No, I don't think so," she said shaking her head.  "It might be one of my neighbors.  Can you get that?  I need to look a little presentable before answering," Alison asks her boyfriend and he nods his head as he cups her cheek.

"Of course," he says as he presses his lips to hers and she smiles into the kiss.  

"Your the best," she calls out as he was walking out.

"You owe me," he shouted back as she shook her head and laughed.

Mark went to answer the door as he only had a pair of sweats on that were hanging low below his hips.  What he wasn't expecting to see was Derek though with a shocked look on his face.  

"You," Derek said after a moment of silence.

"Mark, whose at the door?" Alison asked when she got out of her bed and went to see what was going on with a robe on.  "Derek."

Derek shook his head in disgust.

"Really Alison?  You and him," he said his voice thick with anger.

"Please Derek," she choked out as tears streamed down her cheeks.  "I can explain."

"There's nothing to explain," he shook his head.  "I've seen enough," he raised his voice not believing his eyes as he made his way out.

"Derek," she said her voice shaking as tears were continuously running down her cheek.  "I'm sorry.  It's just-"

"It's just nothing Alison," he said.  "I told you about what happened.  How he slept with my wife!  My wife, Alison!  And you," he shook his head vehemently.  "Your just like them."

"It's different, though, Derek.  We're together in a relationship," she tried to plead with him to have see why she was different.  Why this was different.  "We just wanted to see how we were doing before telling you and everyone."

"Mark Sloan doesn't do relationships," he spits out.  "I never thought you would be a whore, Alison.  I can't even look at you," Derek shakes his head and walks down to the elevator as she falls to her knees, wraps her arms around them and cries.

A few seconds later, when Mark knows that Derek left he picks up his girlfriend as her legs wrap around his waist and her arms wrapped around his neck as her warm tears are left on his shoulders.  He knew Derek hated but he had no right to talk to Alison that way.  But to whore shame her when she was anything but.  Alison was a mess as she hiccuped and didn't steady her breathing.  Mark knew that if he didn't calm her down soon that she would start hyperventilating.

"Hey," Mark tried to calm down Alison as he sat them both on her grey couch.  "Calm down," he tried to soothe her.  "Breathe."

"I- I h-how c-c-can he do t-that?" She asked as she cried into the crook of his neck.

Sometimes the forgotten war isn't always a war abroad.  Sometimes it can be right at home when you are in your own state of oblivion.  Your own cloud nine.  That sometimes you forget that the world you once knew can come crashing down around you.  And what's even more painful is knowing that you were the cause of it.

--

sooo were you all all expecting that at the end?  What did you think of Derek's reaction?  Did you think he was justified?

I wanted to put out a For the Record: slut and whore shaming is NOT okay!  I hated it when he did that to Meredith and I wanted to show that Derek makes mistakes.  He's not perfect all the time.  

A site called novelhd has published my stories without my permission and whoever published them is making a commission off of my work.  This is not okay and I'm not sure who I can write to get them taken down.

Also I'm so excited for the next chapter!  You guys probably have no idea what I have planned!!