Song starts here; explains Anakin's feelings perfectly. But warning; it's sad as fuck

Posting this early because I finished the last touches today and I got excited sooo ENJOY♥️
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Anakin's POV
I gazed up at the starry sky while laying in a familiar field, surrounded by grass, flowers, and fireflies. The moonlight shined and created a beautiful glow along a small stream not far away. It was a peaceful place, a place (y/n) and I used to go to in our young teenage years to talk and stargaze until the sun rose to the sky; signaling us to go home before our Masters realized we were missing.

I sighed quietly as I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of the stream moving along its rocky exterior, "Do you see the one that looks like Master Yoda?" Her soft voice drew my attention to her.

I opened my eyes and turned my head to the side, looking at the beautiful girl laying next to me. Her (y/e/c) eyes were fixated on the night sky, trying to find images in the constellations.

I then glanced up at the stars to find what she was talking about. I smiled as I shook my head, "I don't see anything Princess." I hardly ever did, it was her who made the connections; thanks to her wild imagination, she could see something in anything.

She sighed and I heard the sound of the grass moving as she turned her head to look at me, "You never do Ani, you need more of an imagination."

I faced her as well to see her smiling, and her eyes sparkled with love when she looked at me, "But this is what makes us perfect, I see the reality in everything, while you see the fantasy." I reached to the side almost touching her hand, but I held back, it was too early, "It's what keeps us balanced."

Her smile grew beautifully, "You have such a way with words Skywalker."

I was smiling back, but the longer I looked into her eyes, the more it began to fade away into a heart broken frown, "I miss you so much." I told her as my chest tightened painfully.

Her smile remained, unfazed by my words, "What do you think they'll be serving for breakfast today?" She looked away from me and back up to the night sky, "I hope it's waffles, that's kind of what I'm in the mood for, but I wouldn't say no to french toast either." She chuckled as she stayed on track with the memory.

Because that's all this was.. a memory. She couldn't sway from the conversation like I could.

"They did serve waffles," I whispered while I kept my eyes on her, my eyes tearing while she spoke more about the constellations and pointing up at the sky to get me to see what she was seeing, "Why did you have to go?" I choked on my own sob as I brought my hand to my chest, hoping to somehow ease my suffering.

Not being able to handle looking at her anymore, I reached forward and waved my hand through her face; causing her figure to evaporate like smoke. The last thing I saw was her smile, and the last thing I heard was the sound of her angelic laughter fading away with the mist.

I sat up and hugged my knees to my chest as I broke down for the millionth time since it all happened, I missed her more than words could even explain.

I feel like it was me that failed her, that I could have done more. I could have figured everything out earlier, or even killed Palpatine when I suspected his deceit.

"Wake up," I jumped at the voice before turning my head to see her sitting next to me once again. But it wasn't her voice that was coming out of her, "Anakin you need to wake up."

And so I did.

Song ends around here

I opened my eyes after feeling my arm being tugged on, "Finally, I thought you were dead."

I sat up slowly from the bed and rubbed my tired eyes, "You're not that lucky." I joked with a forced smile.

Ahsoka rolled her eyes at my comment and grabbed ahold of my cloak that was resting on a hook in the small room on our ship, "Get dressed skyguy, we're here and I'm starving." She walked out of the room and closed the door behind her.

"When are you not." I mumbled while finally getting up.

"I hate sand." I groaned in annoyance as I took off my shoe and flipped it over so all the sand could come out. I glared at Obi-Wan the entire time as the irritating grains in the air, flew away with the harsh winds, "This is your fault." It was his bright idea to come here to Tatooine of all places.

He rolled his tired eyes at my attitude, "She knows how much you hate this place, I doubt she's going to come here any time soon, and we need to rest Anakin."

Ahsoka sighed from exhaustion as she dragged her feet through the sand, creating clouds of dust behind her, "Or she knows that we know that she knows he hates this planet, therefore, this could be the next place she looks."

Obi-Wan side glanced her, "It appears you've gained your positivity from Anakin."

"I'm just saying," Ahsoka took her water canteen from her backpack and quietly groaned when she realized it was empty, "She is a smart woman." She sighed while putting the canteen away.

I dropped my gaze down sadly as I put my shoe back on, "Yeah she is." I mumbled low.

The pain from the day I lost her is still fresh. I assumed it would diminish with time, but no, it's actually been the complete opposite.

Everyday I miss her just a little more.

The pain intensifies just a little more.

And the hope in my heart dies.. just a little more.

We don't even say her name, I can't bring myself to even think it, it's painful to know that the woman I loved is gone; manipulated into something else. I tried so hard to help her, and I failed.

I wanted to get her and Cal back, but we had no idea how to start. We've hardly even had time to think since they've been hunting us down like animals for the past year. I wouldn't put it past her to kill me either if she does catch up, I have no idea who she is at the moment, and I can't save them or protect Ahsoka if I'm dead.

"Hoods up." I instructed the two with me as we walked into the cantina of my choice. Artoo was left on our ship since most places in Tatooine don't take too kindly to droids. And I wouldn't want to have to break someone's hand for touching my droid, he's one of two physical things I have left of my Princess; the other being her ring I wear around my neck. It was given to me by Master Yoda who claimed to have found it next to my dying body on Mustafar; I haven't taken it off since.

We kept our hoods up and our heads down as we walked inside. Thankfully, no one gave us a second second glance as we walked to the bar top and I ordered each of us a water, as well as some food for Ahsoka whose stomach has been growling since leaving Bogano.

We got our order and sat at the very far back of the room away from anyone else, "Think any recognized us?" Obi-Wan asked as he slowly scanned the room for anyone who may be eyeing us for a little too long.

It may come off as paranoid, but places like these are where we've been recognized the most, "No." I shook my head while I chugged my water down, before setting the empty cup back on the wooden table, "It's Tattooine, no one paid any attention to the war or the republic out here."

"But this place is filled with bounty hunters who may or may not have our pictures." Ahsoka chimed in while taking a bite of her food.

"Don't worry," I shook my head again to dismiss her words, "I chose this specific cantina because it's home to mostly pilots, not bounty hunters." I looked around the room and watched as the pilots all engaged in conversation with each other.

"Do you think we'll be able to stay here longer than a few days?" She asked with a sigh. We've been on the move constantly, the longest we have ever stayed somewhere was Endor for one week. Until that fucking Krennic along with dozens of clones came out of nowhere and we had to run again.

I shrugged, giving her an apologetic look, "I don't know Snips."

She nodded as she glanced down at her food and played with it with her fork, "I miss him." She whispered as she closed her eyes and dropped the fork down. She didn't need to say his name, I already knew who she was talking about, "I miss them both," She aggressively pushed her plate away from her. My heart hurt for her, she was too young to be heart broken like this, "We can't keep running, we have to find a way to get them back, I need him back."

"I miss them too," I told her as I reached over to hold her hand while I held back the tears that were waiting to escape. I usually saved my crying for my nights when they're sleeping, I don't want them to hear how broken I am. I've been trying so hard to look strong, when in reality; I feel as fragile as thin glass, "But we can't stop running, we have no idea what will be waiting for us if we do."

"We don't know who they are anymore." Obi-Wan added, "They may even kill us on sight."

Ahsoka shook her head, everything we were saying was going in one ear and out the other, "I don't believe that, I believe they're still in there somewhere. I told you Cal could have killed me in the Temple, but he didn't."

I squeezed her hand tighter to get her attention on me, "I don't disagree, but that was a year ago and we don't know how much is even left. It may not be enough to save our necks and I refuse to put your life in danger. If I'm going to see her, it would have to be just me, alone, where I know you'll be safe."

"Which I'm not letting you do Anakin, you said on Mustafar that she was seconds from killing you." Obi-Wan scolded as he always did when I made that suggestion, "And what if she brings you to Sidious? Then you're dead for sure."

"I know," I sighed hopelessly.

"Then what are we going to do?" Ahsoka queried; her watery eyes looked at me for answers, "Run our whole lives? Lose them forever to that fucking bastard?" Her voice was getting higher and I had to widen my eyes to prompt her into lowering her voice back down, so she doesn't draw attention to us, "Are you really going to give up on (y/n)?" She spoke lower.

The sound of her name twisted my stomach into a knot and it was damn near impossible to keep myself from crying, "I don't want to Snips, but I just don't know what to do." I closed my eyes to keep my tears from showing, I missed her so much it was slowly killing me.

Flashback
"Can I ask you something?"

I moved her hair away and placed it on her shoulder so I could gently kiss the back of her neck, "You can ask me anything princess."

She breathed out a sad sigh, "Is there anything I can do that would ever make you stop loving me?"

I furrowed my brows at her ridiculous question, "No, I'll love you until the day I die, no matter what happens between now and then."
Flashback ends

I inhaled and exhaled deeply to relieve the tension in my chest. I kept my word to her, she's responsible for the death of thousands of Jedi, including people we used to call our friends.

And she's been hunting us down for a year, trying to kill me specifically. And that's not me being arrogant either, she broadcasted it. There's a bounty on all of our heads, but mine is substantially larger. Plus Krennic who is also hunting us on her orders. She has put every single thing she has into finding us.

But even after everything she has done; I still love her.. I will always love her.

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Cal's POV
Screams of agony echoed through the halls of the space station. And I knew exactly where it was coming from, it happens to be the place I was currently headed to.

It appears someone said or did something they shouldn't have. You would think they would all learn by now.

I stood outside of the door and waited patiently so I wouldn't disturb her while she was working. After a few moments, the screams suddenly halted and I waved my hand for the door to slide open, "Hello Cal." My Master spoke as soon as the door finished opening and revealed her figure standing over a man who was currently whimpering, "One second,"She told me before lifting her bare foot and stomping her heal into his neck, silencing him indefinitely with a loud crack. We were in her quarters so she wasn't in her leather armor as she usually is, just her normal clothing with her (y/h/c) hair pinned up.

She currently had her back to me and she tossed the blood covered weapon in her hand to the side; making it land on the metal floor with a loud clanging. Sometimes she liked to stray from the basic use of a lightsaber and go with something that took a little bit more.. time.

"I've come to say goodbye." I stepped inside and ignored the dead body of one of the Captains on the floor by her feet. I was used to seeing dead bodies by now, I happen to drop a fair share of my own; I don't feel guilty either, most were incompetent, and some should have watched their mouth instead of speaking bad on my Master in front of me.

She turned her head and all that could be seen were her piercing golden eyes and a large scar that went diagonally across her features. But half of it was cut off by the mask she wore at all times to keep her fragile lungs from bringing her pain, or even death.

The high volume of her breathing made the sound reiterate off of the walls, "Very well, I have something for you before you go." She stepped over the body and opened a drawer to pull out a box.

I smiled when I saw the blue bow on top of it as she stepped over the body again to get closer to me, "You didn't have to get me anything Master."

She held it out to me while it laid on top of both her palms, "Of course I did, happy sixteenth birthday Cal." Her voice held no emotion and her eyes remained cold, but I knew she would smile if she was even capable of it anymore. I try to get her to sometimes with my jokes or stories. If I'm lucky, I get a twitch near her cheek bone that indicated she was close to smiling.

I accepted the black box and eagerly pulled the bow off of it so I could find out what it was. My eyes widen with excitement as I pulled out a brand new dual lightsaber, "Oh my god this is amazing." I dropped the empty box onto the floor and held the new weapon tightly in my hand.

"It pulls apart." She informed me as she tapped on the middle area, "Try it."

I ignited both ends so the crimson light could shoot out and illuminate our sith eyes. I pulled it apart as she said to have one lightsaber in each hand. I laughed from how excited I was as I put it back together and turned it off, "I love it Master, thank you." I smiled up at her, and her gaze softened when she noticed my joy.

She stepped closer to and grabbed it from my hand, "I figured you could use an upgrade," She brought it close to her face and eyed the silver hilt. She paused for a moment and her eyes darkened with loathing, I knew it was because of the sight of her scar. Whenever she sees it, her hatred for him becomes more fueled, "You know what to do if you find them." She set the gift back into my hand and met my eyes.

The cold-emotionless expression had returned. At first it used to frighten me, but now I'm used to it. I know that she cares for me and she'd never inflict any harm upon me. I know this because she's been mad at me before, and all I got was the silent treatment for a few hours. Then she came to me when she needed my help with her mask, she forgave me quickly since I'm the only one who has studied it so I can always fix any issues it might give her.

I nodded, "Skywalker is to be brought to you alive, the rest are to be killed on sight; no mercy."

She raised her bare hands and cupped my cheeks gently, "Can you do it Cal?" She asked with a soft look in her amber eyes.

I knew exactly what she was referring to.

I nodded again, "Yes Master, Tano means nothing to me. She is a traitor like the rest."

There was a time where I believed I might've loved her, but she affiliated herself with the ones who tried to kill my Master. Not to mention she tried to kill me. So, she sealed her own fate.

"Can I ask why you're not going instead of me?" I questioned and she dropped her hands down with a sigh.

"I have an obligation." She turned her head to the side and looked down at the dead body, their lifeless eyes were staring up and almost directly at me, "I have a few actually, and the Emperor is also expecting me in a few hours." She turned back to face me and my chest tightened at the mention of her going to see him. I don't like the way he hurts her and I know it's him that's doing it because every time she goes to see Sidious, she comes back with new injuries. And I have to take care of them afterwards, "So if you run into them and have a difficult time, remember what I told you. They have a weakness that you do not."

I smiled as I glanced down to the pin attached to my cloak that she gave me a few months ago, "Of course I do, I'll resort to Plan B if necessary."

I saw her eyes squint as she smirked proudly behind her mask, "Do me a favor while you're on your search," She reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of paper in between her fingers, "I had an odd dream last night and now I have this gut feeling, so I want you to check these places first." She handed it to me and I opened it to scan her writing.

"Why these specific planets?" I asked as I looked up to her with furrowed brows.

"Because they all have one thing in common." She informed me as she crossed her arms over her chest. Her golden eyes shined with confidence.

I looked back down at the paper, my knowledge of planets was severely low, so I had no idea what these few planets have in common, "Which is?" I asked sheepishly.

She chuckled, which took me by surprise. I haven't heard a sound like that come from her in so long, "They're desert planets Cal, can you tell me what desert planets consist of?"

I nodded knowing I knew enough to answer this, "Sand."

Her eyes squinted with a slow nod, "Exactly."

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Hope you liked this♥️ and I probably will still post on Thursday as well, but I finally started going back to work so I can't promise anything, but I will do my best to remain on schedule!
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