Tommy starts to remember things he didn't know that he wanted to forget and starts to see things he tried to be blind to.

      Or, trauma starts to show through.

"I can't stop thinking about it." 

"Thinking about what, Tubs?" 

"Techno and the fireworks." 

Tubbo was on his back on his cot in Pogtopia, his burned arms spread out across the mattress. 

"Me too." Tommy laid next to him. "I think it's normal. I mean, it's not every day you almost die." 

"Yeah, but it won't stop, Tommy." 

Tommy turned his head, surprised to see Tubbo close to tears. "Why are you crying?" 

"I-I don't know." Tubbo sniffed, holding back the tears until they subsided. "It's stupid. I'm sorry." 

"Do you ever think about when you got shot in the stomach?" 

Memories jolted back of his stomach itching, Tubbo screaming, and the cold. 

Tommy hadn't thought of them a lot. 

In fact, he didn't even think he remembered them until now. 

"No." He shifted uncomfortably in the bed. "I guess I tried to forget them." 

"Do you remember when Eret betrayed us?" 

More memories came back, enclosed in a Blackstone box, enemies springing from the walls. They cut Wilbur's arm. Fundy was thrown across the room. Tubbo's eyes looked faded. Tommy suddenly started to feel sick. The room was really hot. Was the door keeping the heat in? Was it going to suffocate them? 

"Do you remember Dream blowing up the TNT?" 

Shivers ran through Tommy's spine. He didn't know why, but his breath was becoming shakier. 

"Do you remember the obsidian box-" 

"NO!" Tommy stood up suddenly, shaking the bed. "I DON'T FUCKING REMEMBER! STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!" 

Tommy saw Tubbo's face clouded with hurt as he held his ears, flinching like Tommy had hit him. He sighed, guilt shooting through him. 

"I'm sorry, Tubbo, I didn't mean it." 

"I know." Tubbo still kept his hands over his ears. 

"I-I'm going to get some fresh air." Tommy turned around in shame. He wished he could properly apologize to Tubbo, but it felt like the room was suffocating him. "It's really fucking hot in here." 

"Ok." 

Tommy could feel Tubbo's eyes on him as he walked out the door. 

"Can you make sure Techno doesn't come in here?" 

"Don't worry, if he even comes within two inches of this door, I'll chop his fucking dick off." 

Tommy didn't get a laugh, but he got a smile. 

A smile was just enough for him these days. 

"Good." 

Tommy started out the door again. 

"And Tommy?" 

"Jesus Christ, Tubbo, how many times are you gonna stop me?" Tommy grinned at him from the doorway in fake annoyance. 

"This is the last one, I promise." Tubbo had seriousness in his eyes. 

"Be safe." 

"I'll try, Tubbo." 

"No, you gotta promise." 

"Ok." 

Tommy smiled. 

"I promise." 

"Ok." 

"Bye Tubbo." 

"No, don't say bye." Tubbo looked at him hopefully. "Say 'see you later, alligator.'" 

Tommy huffed, crossing his arms. "I'm not fucking saying that." 

"Pleassseeeeee-" 

"Fine." Tommy rolled his eyes. "See you later, alligator." 

"See you later, Tommy." 

And Tommy closed the door. 

---

"We need to call a meeting with Schlatt immediately." 

Tommy's heart sank. "It's Friday already? For fuck's sake!" 

"Tommy, we can't put this off any longer." Quackity was flipping through a book hurriedly. "If we do, Wilbur presses that button and Manburg goes kaboom." 

"Ah shit, that's right. WILBUR!" The shout echoed through the ravine to no response, and Tommy's heart jolted in his chest in it's familiar anxious way. 

"Fucking hell- I've gotta go find him before he does anything." Tommy was met with a curt nod from Quackity, and he bounded up the steps of Pogtopia and out into the fresh air. 

"WILBURRRR!!!" 

And now Tommy is running. 

He is running as fast as his long legs can take him. 

He can feel his heart go ka-thump, ka-thump. 

And he thinks to himself: 

Was there ever a time in his life where he wasn't running? 

And he runs into the unsteady chest and a trenchcoat, and he does not have time to think. 

"Wilbur!" 

"Why are you so rushed, Tommy?" 

Tommy catches his breath, and Wilbur holds onto his shoulders. Tommy is doing his shaky-breath thing, trying not to exhale too hard. Wilbur keeps on holding on. 

For now, for once, he is the stable one. 

Tommy's head snaps up. 

"How are you?" 

Wilbur answers without a second thought. 

"Not very well, unfortunately." 

He says it like both of them should know the answer. 

"I'm still going to blow Manberg if that's what you mean." 

Wilbur's hands fell back to his sides and Tommy stood up unsteadily, on his own. 

"I said by Friday, Tommy." 

"One more chance, Wilbur." Tommy's eyes pleaded with him, and Wilbur was reminded of when Tommy would get in trouble, putting a pushpin on somebody's chair. "You said you'd give us one more chance." 

"There will be a day where you have no chances left, Tommy." 

"I know." 

Tommy stood there, looking at Wilbur. 

For once, for now, he was silent. 

For once, for now, Wilbur didn't like it that way. 

"Well, lead the way then." 

"Ok." 

---

"-the building of the Manburg hotel-" 

Schlatt was drunk as hell, and Tommy didn't know if it was Quackity's fault. He held his breath under the podium. 

"-no personal relationships..." 

Schlatt seemed to pause at this sentence, re-reading the line. He looked up at Quackity like he was going to say something. 

Instead, he let out a big, alcohol-filled burp into his face. 

"Personal relationship? What the hell does that mean?" 

"It means what it says, Schlatt." 

Quackity narrowed his eyes as he scrunched up his nose in disgust. 

"Personal relationship? The only personal relationship we had was you fucking crying every time I moved my pinky-toe." Tommy could hear a pause as Schlatt took another swig from his bottle of whisky. 

"Are you fucking drinking?" 

"C'mon," Tommy whispered to Wilbur. "Let's get out from under here. We can't see them." The blackstone was creeping him out. 

Wilbur nodded and followed Tommy out of the tiny alcove. They army-crawled across the dry grass. 

"Just sign the damn thing-" 

"What's on these pages?" 

"NOTHING!" Quackity cleared his throat, quieting himself. "Nothing." 

"Oi! Stop poking me!" Wilbur clamped a hand over Tommy's mouth. 

"Stop making so much noise, motherfucker, you're going to make them hear us!" Wilbur dragged them behind a small mound of dirt and peeked over the side. 

"Can you see them?" Tommy stuck his head over the dirt, squinting, but Wilbur pushed him back down. 

"You are the worst at hiding, Tommy." Wilbur covered the sun with one hand, trying to see the two figures bickering back and forth. 

"Says the wanker that kept on poking me!" Tommy hissed back, popping his head up again. Wilbur's hand snuck down, and then lunged at his neck, tickling him. 

"Stop- stop you dickhead-" Tommy gasped for air as he giggled quietly. "You absolute son of a bitch stop tickling me motherfucker-" 

"This is where I fucking killed Tubbo remember?" 

Tommy stopped laughing. His eyes narrowed. 

"Yeah, I remember." Quackity's voice kept steady. 

Tommy drew back his bow quickly before shaking his head at himself. He couldn't resort to violence. He looked to his left. 

Wilbur's bow was drawn, pointing directly at Schlatt. Hate was in his eyes, a sharp contrast to the expression he had when he was tickling Tommy.  

"Wilbur, don't shoot." Tommy tried to keep his voice from panicking, trying to yank the bow from Wilbur's hands. 

Wilbur looked at him with a murderous stare. Tommy couldn't recognize him. 

"Wilbur." 

Tommy shook his head no, keeping eye contact. 

Wilbur shoved the bow back to the ground, sitting behind the dirt pile in a huff. 

"-sign here..." 

Tommy perked up, looking excitedly over the dirt mound. 

"We're going to get L'Manburg, Wilbur! And then you won't have to blow it up, and then we're done! We're done!" 

It can't be that easy, said the little voice inside of his head. 

"Just sign the damn thing man-" 

"You know what I found yesterday?" Schlatt took another swig, and Tommy saw Quackity try to resist rolling his eyes. "When I was digging under your ass-wipe building, which is demolished by the way." 

"What did you find?" Quackity's teeth were gritted. 

"It's funny, because I found it right after our little fall-out." Schlatt's eyes flickered with fire as he grinned. "You KNOW WHAT I FUCKING FOUND QUACKITY!?" 

"What?" 

"EXPLOSIVES!" 

"I told you this wouldn't fucking work, Tommy, I told you it wouldn't fucking work, you knew it would fail, we're going to fucking die because of you, Tommy-" Wilbur muttered in bitterness as Tommy watched the podium in horror. 

"MY OWN VICE PRESIDENT PLOTTING TO DESTROY MY NATION!" Schlatt clutched the bottle close to his chest. "DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD THAT FUCKING FEELS?" 

"It didn't fucking work, Tommy, it didn't fucking work, it's your fault-" 

Tommy covered his ears with his hands. 

"IT WASN'T ME!" Quackity stepped back nervously. "IT WASN'T FUCKING ME, OK?" 

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME!" Schlatt took a step towards him. Tommy saw... sadness?

"EVERYTHING I EVER FUCKING WANTED!" 

Tommy's eyes widened as a punch seemed to erupt from Schlatt's soul, swinging at Quackity's face. It contacted, almost comically, and Quackity fell off the podium. 

"QUACKITY!" Tommy couldn't help himself from bursting out. "BIG Q RUN!" 

Schlatt looked up at him, and for a split second looked at him in the eye. 

Tommy thought that was the most hate he had ever seen in anyone's eye, ever. Schlatt's bloodshot brown eyes contrasted against the blackstone. 

And it was directed towards him. 

"TOMMY RUN!" 

Quackity was suddenly at his side, tugging at his arm roughly. 

"ARE YOU HEADING BACK TO POGTOPIA, QUACKITY?" 

Schlatt spread his arms out, bottle in hand. He was on top of the podium. King of a black hunk of rock and bad memories. "BECAUSE I FUCKING WOULDN'T!" 

Another swig, and Schlatt's voice was raspy from the fire. "I FUCKING WOULDN'T!" 

"What the fuck did you do to Pogtopia, Schlatt?" Quackity was shaking with resentment, Tommy could feel it in his left arm. "What the FUCK did you do?" 

"I gave you a taste of your own medicine, that's what I did. I took a little UHaul truck and plopped those TNT right into your little ravine." Schlatt smiled at the amber liquid swishing in his bottle. "You're taking away what was mine, so I'll take away what was yours." Schlatt's eyes looked up and burned into Tommy's. 

"YOU BASTARD!" 

That was when Tommy realized Wilbur wasn't there. 

"Wilbur?" Tommy looked around in a panic, Quackity and Schlatt couldn't hear him over there arguing. "Will?" 

"HOW'S THAT FOR A FUCKING FAIR TRADE, HUH?" Schlatt shouted up to the heavens. "CAN YOU SEE ME NOW?" 

"CAN YOU FUCKING SEE ME NOW?" 

"Wilbur?" Tommy's breathing became shallower. "WILBUR!" 

"Why the fuck are you yelling now, Tommy?" Quackity was still staring up at the podium in rage. 

"Where's Wilbur?" Tommy's eyes darted over grassy knolls until he realized. "Oh, fuckkkk-" 

He took off in a run. "WILBUR!" 

In the corner of his eye, Quackity flipped Schlatt off and ran into the forest, back to Pogtopia. 

Tommy scrambled onto the grass behind Manburg. His foot caught on a root underneath the soil. He fell, and his ear hit contact with the ground. Black came and went quickly. 

It rang. 

He kept running. 

"WILBUR!" 

"FUCKING GODDAMMIT!" 

Tommy watched as Wilbur stumbled out of the button room. 

"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!" 

With every cuss, Wilbur's hands, his beautiful hands that played the guitar, they punched against the stone wall. 

Tommy covered his ears. 

They rang. 

"FUCK!" 

Wilbur's hands, his bloody, beautiful hands, sunk down to the floor with him. They bled onto the dry grass.  

"It didn't have the fucking TNT, I missed my chance, it didn't have the fucking TNT, I MISSED MY BLOODY CHANCE!" Wilbur stood up in rage, looking straight at Tommy. His eyes looked like Schlatt's. 

"FUCK YOU!" 

Wilbur marched over to him, and Tommy couldn't move. 

"YOU RUINED IT!" 

Something hard hit Tommy's ear. 

It was warm. 

He fell to the ground. 

It was cold. 

There was a flash of darkness. 

It rang. 

He didn't keep running. 

He laid on the ground, frozen. 

He looked up and a puffy cloud was slowly floating by. 

"Fucking get up." 

Tommy traced it as it floated across the clear, blue sky, it was oh so pretty, it was like the cotton candy Niki used to make for him and Wilbur- 

"Bloody get up NOW." 

Tommy stood up. 

"We have to get back to Pogtopia, c'mon." 

Tommy followed him. 

Tommy was silent. 

He knew that they would never speak of this again.