This is inspired by Without Me by Halsey

Your pov

You and Yoongi were childhood friends. You became friends when you were five. He was an awkward kid who was super shy and he got teased for it. One day some kids were picking on him and you stood up for him. After that he followed you around and you let him. You thought he looked like a cute lost kitten.

You became close friends and you helped him become less awkward and shy. You both shared a love for music and a dream to be an idol. You were sad when you and your family moved and you had to leave him.

You kept in touch but slowly talked less and less as time went by. Especially when you started to pursue your dream. You were becoming an idol at Bighit and so far you were doing pretty well.

One day Yoongi called you and asked if you could meet up with him. You slipped on a hoodie and a mask so you could go out without being possibly recognized. You met him in a nearby cafe. You sat with him in the back.

"Sorry but I'm waiting for someone." He said.

"Yoongi it's me." You still had the mask on so he didn't know it was you until you pulled it down.

"Oh. I didn't recognize you Y/n."

"Good. Then my disguise is working." You flashed a quick smile before tilting your head at him. His eyes were red like he'd been crying and he seemed depressed. "Now, what's wrong?"

"What do you mean? Does something have to be wrong? I can't just meet up with my old friend?"

"Yoongi I've known you for years. I know when something is wrong. Now tell me what happened."

He lightly chuckled. "I never could keep anything from you." He sighed before he began to talk. Apparently his girlfriend of two years, Mina, left him for another guy. She told Yoongi that her new guy was more successful at music and that Yoongi shouldn't even try.

"Maybe I should just give up." He said.

You shook your head. "No. You are not going to give up and do you know why? Because you are an amazing artist. I don't know why you would even listen to her."

"Because I love her." You winced inwardly. His words stung your heart a bit. Of course it would. It always hurts when someone you love says they love another. Yes. You were in love with Yoongi.

"I know you do. And it's sad to say but that seems over with now. You need to focus on yourself for a bit." You don't know when you fell for him but you did and now here you are trying to comfort his broken heart while trying to ignore yours.

"How am I supposed to do that? I've always focused mainly on her." He slumped down in his seat. He didn't look like the Yoongi you knew but you were going to help him any way you could. You moved to sit next to him and put your head on his shoulder.

"Don't worry Yoongs. I'll help you."

You spent all of your spare time on Yoongi. Making sure he took care of himself. Made him go to sleep when he just wanted to write or wallow in sadness. You helped him get himself back together and encouraged him to audition for Bighit. You were so proud of him when he eventually became part of a group called BTS.

You stayed with him almost constantly as you both worked on your dreams. You were around him so much that you even became close friends with his bandmates. You knew that Yoongi still probably thought of Mina and still probably loved her. But you secretly hoped that he'll see how much you actually care for him and maybe, just maybe, he'll feel the same.

Of course you tried not to make it obvious but someone figured out how you felt about Yoongi. And no. It wasn't Yoongi. It was Jimin. He had noticed how much time you spend on and with Yoongi. He wanted to be sure so one day he asked you about it.

"Hey noona." He went up to you while you waited for Yoongi. You were going to take him out for lunch so he could take a break.

"Hey Jimin." You smile and hug him.

"Are you waiting for Yoongi hyung?" He asked after the hug.

"Yeah. He's been working hard and you guys are doing so well. Don't worry I was planning on taking everyone out for dinner soon."

"Oh you don't have to do that. But I know you still will so thank you." You winked at him as your grabbed your water bottle from your bag. "Noona? I have a question."

"What is it?" You ask before you start to take a sip.

"Are you in love with Yoongi hyung?" You choked on your water at the unexpected question.

"What?" You wipe the water that dribbled down your chin.

"You are aren't you!"

"Shh! Keep it down! Okay yes I am but you can't tell anyone! Especially Yoongi!"

"I won't." He fiddled with his fingers nervous to ask his next question. "You know he still has feelings for his ex right?" The boys knew about Mina. Yoongi told them a bit but you mostly told them because they wouldn't stop asking you about her.

"I do."

"Then why do you do it? Why do you put so much care in someone who does it for another person?" Jimin saw you as an older sister and he didn't like seeing you hurt by a bitter one sided love.

You sighed. "I don't know really. I love him so much and I just want him to be happy. Even if it's not with me." Yoongi came soon after so Jimin stopped talking about it and let it go. Jimin knew that you were hurting even if you wouldn't say. He didn't like it but he couldn't stop it. All he could do was try to be a better friend to you.

After that Jimin made sure to give you plenty of hugs and attention. He said it was to make sure you get back plenty of what you gave. You let him because it was cute how he acted like a little kid and you appreciated how much he cared.

A few years went by and BTS were doing incredibly well. You were so proud of Yoongi and the boys. You were doing very well yourself. You had a house that Yoongi frequently stayed at when he wanted a break from the stress.

One day you went out for drinks with everyone to celebrate their new album release. At the end of the night you and Yoongi took a cab back to your house and you stumbled through the door laughing. He caught you before you fell to the ground and then somehow you were pinned to the wall, his lips softly brushing over yours.

You knew that this was the alcohol kissing you. You knew it was the alcohol holding your hips to him. You knew it was the alcohol lightly nipping at your neck. You knew it was the alcohol feeling the skin of your body as he took off your shirt. But it was also the alcohol that didn't care, you could have him this one time at least.

You expected him to be gone the next day. It was a one night stand after all. Wasn't it? But to your surprise he was still there holding you. After that day you didn't do it again but he still stayed at your house and slept next to you. He would hold your hand while you were walking sometimes and a couple of times he quickly placed a kiss on your cheek or forehead.

You knew he wasn't one to really say how he feels about someone, so you hoped, just a little, that maybe his actions said he liked you as well. But that didn't really seem to be the case as he started getting a bit distant again.

You were scrolling through social media one day and saw a picture of Yoongi with a girl. But not just any girl. It was Mina. The girl apparently still stuck in his mind. This photo was recent and it was obvious it was a date. You still haven't told him how you felt and right now you were a bit glad you didn't. You thought you would probably look foolish right about now.

You were sitting on your couch, staring at nothing in particular, when Yoongi walked into your house and stood by the hallway.

"Y/n I-" He started but you cut him off.

"I know. You're with Mina again. I've seen the pictures. And now you're going back to the dorms so she doesn't get the wrong idea about us."

He sighed relieved. "I'm glad you understand."

You put a small smile on your face. "Yeah. I totally understand. We were fun while we lasted right?"

"Yeah we were. Thanks for being there for me Y/n."

"Of course. What are friends for?" You kept your small smile as he gathered his things and left. You let it melt as you sat there alone again. But then you realized, you were always alone. You never defined your 'relationship'. He never even said he liked you. You were just there until the person he really wanted came along.

You slightly distanced yourself from him and the boys after that. You made excuses that you were busy because of your new song. You poured your pain into this one. Maybe someone will hear it and understand. Maybe he'll hear it and know what he's done.

Maybe.