"... and then he said he liked me too and... I guess in that moment, I just decided to do it," Cassia shrugged, popping another lemon sherbert in her mouth. "So I stood up and... kissed him."

"Ahhhhhhhh!" Poppy, who was sat on the bed beside her, squealed. "Cass, that is amazing! Ah, I love this!"

The two girls were sitting side by side on Cassia's bed, arms linked, practically on top of each other as they gorged themselves on the sweets they bought and didn't eat on the train.

"Cassia, I need you to become a couple!" Poppy said. "Like, physically need it to happen!"

"Yeah..." Cassia smiled, the sweet feeling in her stomach souring slightly.

She couldn't imagine herself dating Potter. But not because she hated him, like her reason would've been so many years before.

It was that she didn't deserve him.

"Cassia! Like, please do this!" Poppy said, looking straight at her, grinning.

Cassia sighed, smiling slightly. "Okay, I'll think about it."

"Good," Poppy said, relaxing back into the bed. "Oh and... well, it's nothing really but... I might have a little romance of my own starting."

"What?" Cassia asked in shock, sitting up.

"Yeah," Poppy grinned, cheeks blushing. "It's just- Neville and I have been owling this whole summer and... I don't know, after last year, he's just- he's just different."

Cassia grinned. "That's amazing, Poppy!"

Poppy smiled. "Thanks, Cass."

Cassia grinned. There was something about sitting on a bed eating sweets and gossiping with your best friend that she loved. But also hated.

Because normal best friends don't hide secrets from each other.

And Cassia was doing a lot of that at the moment.

❦︎❦︎❦︎

"Brat!"

"You are no daughter of ours."

"Ah, Cassia. It's been a while since we've caught up."

"Oh, yes, and I hear you and Potter here have been getting closer-"

"Another cause of punishment, I'm afraid."

"However, we've now been given permission to tell you what is happening."

"Permission?"

"From the Dark Lord."

"And... what is that task?"

"To kill Albus Dumbledore."

"You're such an insolent little brat!"

"Brat..."

"Brat..."

"Brat..."

"BRAT!"

Cassia awoke in a cold sweat, panting and shivering with a gasp as she sobbed silently, tears streaming down her cheeks.

She tried to form coherent thoughts but she- she couldn't- and she was scared and she was angry and she was so overcome because she was lying to everyone and-

I have to get out of here, was the only thing she could think in that moment. Get me out-

She couldn't really think, she could only blunder as she got out of bed, put her slippers on and slipped out the dorm.

She wasn't sure where she was going as she walked down the stairs. All she knew was that she couldn't be in that dorm, and she couldn't fall asleep agai-

She ended up walking down the stairs to the common room, shivering slightly in just her thin pyjamas. She was so sick of being like this, but she couldn't help it, she was just-

She froze.

Because downstairs, a light was shining in the common room.

Fuck.

It appeared she wasn't the only-

"Cass?"

Cassia frowned gently, stepping forward as the wand light was shone on her. She tried to look past it, to see who was behind it, but it was the voice she ended up recnognising.

"Potter?" She asked weakly, becoming aware of how she must look.

Harry chuckled slightly, putting his wand down

"What are you doing here?"

Harry sighed. "Just reading. I... I couldn't sleep."

"Oh," Cassia said, quickly wiping her tears.

Harry looked her up and down before asking. "You okay?"

And Cassia wanted to just nod.

She wanted to say she was, she wanted to turn around.

But she'd been running away from things for too long now.

She shook her head, more tears falling.

"Cass..." Harry whispered, rushing towards her at the same time Cassia gave a strangled sob and ran at him.

They met in the middle with a tight hug, Cassia sobbing softly into Harry's shoulder at the boy stroked her hair and whispered in her ear.

"It's okay, Cass... you're okay, you're safe..."

I'm not!

The words were screamed inside Cassia's head, but they would never reach his ears.

Otherwise she would die.

Literally.

So Cassia let him stand there with his arms wrapped around her, stroking her hair and whispering sweet nothings into her ear, all the while betraying him in the worst way.

At some point, and she didn't really remember when, they moved to the sofa, Harry sitting at the end of it and letting Cassia lie down, her body propped up against his, her head on his chest.

Once she stopped crying, she started talking.

"I'm sorry," she cried gently. "I'm being such a burden to y-"

"No, Cass, stop," Harry whispered right back, grabbing her hands. "You're not, okay? You're not."

Cassia didn't believe him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered weakly up at him. "I'm so, so sorry..."

And she was sorry about a lot of things.

But the most important one was that she was sorry she was betraying him, and stabbing him in the back.

"Listen to me," Harry said, stroking her hair, his fingers soft on her head. "Are you listening?"

Cassia nodded.

Harry sat her up, looking at her.

"I love you," he told her, looking into her eyes. "Alright? I love you. And you will never be a burden to me, I promise. I love you so much, Cassia, and I love being around you move than anything, so please never say that again."

Cassia was in complete shock.

He just- he just said he loved me.

Oh shit.

And she wanted to say it back.

She wanted to say it to him, and to kiss him silly, to hold his hand in the corridors, to have him be her boyfriend forever.

But she couldn't.

"I... I don't know what to say," she replied, feeling his hands squeezing her's.

"You don't have to say anything," Harry told her, rubbing his thumb along her knuckles. "I'll take whatever you can give me."

She didn't know what to say to that, either.

She could feel her whole body shaking, and her heart racing (for various reasons), and she didn't know what to do about it-

"I really like you," she said, smiling slightly, tears sparkling in her eyes. "I really, really like you, Potter."

Harry smiled gently, tucking a bit of her hair behind her ears.

"I want to be with you," he murmured to her. "I want to be your boyfriend, and I want to kiss you, and I want to cheer you up when you're down, and I want to love you, rather than hate you."

Cassia looked at him, trying to work out if there were more butterflies or guilt flying about in her stomach.

"And I know you're struggling," Harry continued. "And I want to make you feel better. I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel, because you're amazing."

Cassia was going to cry. She was going to break down right there, because he was pouring his heart out to her, and she was refusing to open up her's.

Because if she did, she would die.

"Please, just tell me what you want," Harry whispered to her. "I'll take anything."

Cassia Malfoy was the most selfish girl on the planet, Cassia Malfoy decided in that moment. She was rude, and mean, and she was taking advantage of a boy who didn't deserve her. She was a terrible, terrible person.

All this ran through her head as she took a deep breath.

"I... I want to be with you too," she said, tearing up slightly (for the wrong reasons).

Harry was speechless. "D-did you jus-?"

"I want you to be my boyfriend, Harry Potter," Cassia told him. "I want to kiss you, too, and I want to have more moments like this."

Harry started leaning in. "Then do i-"

"But listen," Cassia told him. "It'd have to be in secret. We'd only tell trusted friends. Because if Draco gets wind of the face we're together..."

She trailed off, looking down slightly-

But Harry grabbed her chin and brought her head back up, her eyes lining up with his.

"That doesn't matter," he said. "I love you, Cass. Nothing you can say will push me away."

How about that I'm plotting with Voldemort to kill Dumbledore? Or how I'm stabbing you in the back- Cassia thought as they learned in-

When their lips met, however, all her thoughts vanished. Every single one. All she could think about was the butterflies in her stomach, and how his arms were around her's, and how her heart was racing and how his lips felt against her's-

They pulled apart for a second, Harry smiling gently at Cassia before she looped her arms round his neck, bringing him forward so their lips met again.

As Harry deepened their kiss, tilting his head to the side, Cassia murmured something incoherent against his lips, her whole body shivering.

And she was a terrible person, the worst person ever, and she wanted to pull away, to tell him what was happening and die because she was betraying him so badly-

But she didn't pull away. They only came apart when they came up for air.

Harry pulled Cassia into his arms, hugging her tight.

"I've been waiting for this all summer," he murmured, hugging her tight. "I love you, Cass."

And then the guilt came back, slamming into her harder than ever.

I love you too, she was screaming inside. But you're gonna hate me when you find out.

"You're amazing, Harry," Cassia told him, the guilt consuming her-

"No, I'm not."

"No, you are," Cassia argued back. "You're so amazing, and loyal, and too good for whatever I a-"

"No, don't say that," Harry grabbed her hands, squeezing them tightly. "Don't say that, Cass, it's not true. If anything, I don't deserve you."

You don't know the truth!

Cassia didn't reply, tears spiking her eyes.

"Besides, as your boyfriend," Harry smirked slightly. "It's my job to be amazing, so I'm just doing my job."

Hearing the word 'boyfriend' was when it was confirmed for Cassia.

She was dating Harry Potter.

The favourite student of the man she was attempting to kill.

To murder, really.

"And I suppose as your girlfriend, I'm supposed to do the same?" She suggested weakly to him.

Harry smiled at her. "You already do."

That night, they hugged and kissed and cuddled on the sofa, until the sun came up and they had to go back up to their dorms.

Cassia didn't want to leave him.

"You'll see me in the morning," Harry told her. "And we'll tell everyone. Our friends, I mean," he added.

Cassia smiled gently. "Thanks, Harry. You've... actually made me feel better."

That was a lie.

Because when Cassia got upstairs, she cried into her pillow.

She had wanted to make herself feel better.

And she had.

But she'd also made things ten thousand times worse.