"Luna's not coming back."

Cassia didn't want to look at their faces as she said it, on the Hogwarts Express hurtling towards said school, but she forced herself to.

She'd practically thrown herself from her mother earlier that morning to get on the train, but was now wondering why she was so eager. Hogwarts meant hell with the Carrows after all. And telling her friends why their other friend wasn't with them.

"What? What do you mean?" Ginny frowned at her, Neville, Poppy, Parvati, Padma, Lavender, Seamus and Cho all nodding with her.

"She's not coming back," Cassia said with her lips pressed tight together, looking down. "Listen, um... over the holidays, Voldemort decided that... he thought it'd be a good idea to imprison people in my cellar, okay? And... Luna was dragged in one day."

"What?!" Poppy asked with a gasp.

"So she's a prisoner?" Neville joined in.

"Y-yeah," Cassia nodded, still not looking up.

"Why her?" Parvati frowned. "Luna's about the most innocent among all of us."

"It wasn't anything to do with her," Cassia said determinedly. "Her, er... her father had been writing in his newspaper, convincing people to support Harry, and... clearly, Voldemort didn't take kindly to that."

The others nodded, but Poppy put her hand on Cassia's shoulder, forcing her best friend to look her in the eye.

"Are you okay, Cass?" She asked, putting a lot of emphasis on the 'you'.

"I mean, yeah," Cassia shrugged. "I'm not the one that's been chucked in a cellar."

"But Cassia..." Poppy said meaningfully.

"I'm annoyed, okay?" Cassia said, looking up. "I'm so fucking annoyed at myself, because I just- I stood there, and I watched. And I didn't do anything to try and stop it."

"You couldn't have," Padma said immediately. "You'd have been shot down immediately."

"Doesn't feel like that from my side," Cassia mumbled.

"You're not to blame for this, Cass," Neville shook her head.

"But I just-" Cassia took a deep breath. "You guys don't understand, okay? You don't. You've never had to play both sides like I do, and it's excruciating."

"Okay, so we don't understand," Poppy shrugged. "That doesn't mean we're gonna judge you, Cass. We'd never to that, any of us."

Cassia looked around at them all for a second with a small smile.

"Thanks, guys," she told them. "Really."

And she took comfort in the hug they shared after that.

Even if no one else did.

❦︎❦︎❦︎

Nevertheless, the sentimentality did end when they reached the castle.

Hogwarts was still Hogwarts. The dementors still surrounded the castle, the Carrows still smirked like toads during the welcome dinner, and the whole castle just seemed so cold and terrible.

Cassia hated all of it.

Somehow, she made it through the first night, but the next day was when things really got bad.

Their first lesson that day was DADA, because of course it was. There was no way to escape it. Amycus was more than happy to see them all back, she could tell, but not for the reasons he should've been.

"Come in, come in," he said, sick smirk on his face. Once the class was entirely in and seated, he looked round them all with a grin. "So, this term we're going to be going back and looking at the cruciatus curse. Specifically at performing it. "Now, it's a very hard art to master, but when performed right, will have maximum effect on the torture it protrudes."

This isn't right.

Cassia looked around at the class, most of whom were staring back at Amycus with completely blank looks on their faces. Good. They don't believe we're being asked to do this.

The only two in the room looking happy were Crabbe and Goyle. Draco looked midway between terrified and pleased, and the rest of Slytherin were somewhere on that scale as well. If even they were having doubts, then Cassia knew this was really, really wrong.

"So, for today, we're going to be starting with small animals," Amycus explained. "We're going to work with toads, and you will be in pairs. You'll take it in turns with your partner to try and crucio the toad."

There's something wrong with him, Cassia thought, absolutely and utterly furious. There's actually something fucking wrong with him if he thinks this is a good thing to teach a class of seventeen year olds.

"So," Amycus finished, opening a box on his desk to reveal at least fifteen toads. "Get started."

Most people were hesitant, but ultimately went to collect a toad. Poppy looked at Cassia, knowing they were going to have to do this, when-

"I'm not doing it," Cassia muttered.

"What?!" Poppy hissed. "Are you insane?"

"Quite possibly," Cassia shrugged, not really caring. "But go and get a toad, because I'm not having you get in trouble."

"Cassia," Poppy chuckled. "If you can make this decision, then I can too. And I'm deciding to stand with you, and not do it."

"Poppy, you're gonna get hurt," Cassia told her, her voice low. "I- listen, I know what that's like, but you-"

"I am willing to take it," Poppy said, crossing her arms. She leaned in, saying lowly to her best friend. "You think you're alone in this, but you're not. We're all with you."

That shut the blonde girl up.

So Cassia and Poppy sat at their desks, not collecting a toad. They weren't going to torture an innocent animal just for Amycus' pleasing. They weren't going to do it just to make him happy.

But of course, he soon noticed the two self proclaimed conscientious objectors, sitting at the back, arms crossed.

"Miss Malfoy, Miss Patil," he said, voice dangerous. "I told you to collect a toad. Why aren't you?"

Cassia had a lot of things to say to him, but all she did say was. "Because we're not doing it."

Amycus chuckled, and it was a dark, gritty, and unwelcoming sound. "I think you'll find it's me who decides what you do and do not do."

"Not when it comes down to torturing an innocent animal."

That had slipped from the mouth of Poppy Patil before she'd meant it to, but it'd been said regardless. Neville, who sat in front of the two girls, turned to look at his girlfriend with wide, scared eyes. Poppy returned his look with a braver one. She was ready for this.

Cassia knew she shouldn't have said it, but she also knew Poppy had had enough. She also knew they were probably going to get worse than slashed for this, but at this point, she didn't care.

"I'm going to give you one last chance," Amycus said, in a voice that said things were only going to get worse if they didn't comply. "Come down here, get a toad, and try to crucio it."

Cassia and Poppy shared a look. Cassia tried to see into her best friend, to see what she was saying without speaking it. She needed to know if she was in on this properly, because if she wasn't, she was going to get a very painful wake up call.

But it was Poppy who spoke first, turning round and making direct eye contact with Amycus.

"No."

Amycus looked from her to Cassia, who was staring hard back at him.

"Alright, then," he said, putting his hands up. "Come up to the front."

Neither Poppy nor Cassia moved.

"I SAID, come up to the front," Amycus raised his eyebrows. "The punishment will only get worse if you don't comply with this."

So Cassia and Poppy got up out their seats and walked nervously to the front. Cassia was shaking, but did well to conceal it, because she knew Amycus would be looking for signs of weakness.

"Stand opposite each other," Amycus instructed them.

So they did. Cassia stood opposite her best friend, the girl she'd loved with all her heart since she was eleven, begging with everything that she didn't get hurt.

"Cassia, you'll need your wand," Amycus said slowly, smiking at the blonde girl.

Cassia looked away from him, muttering. "What are you going to do to me?"

"Oh, that isn't the question," Amycus shook his head, a smirk almost splitting his face in two. "The question is what are you... going to do... to her?"

And in a flash, Cassia understood.

Amycus wasn't going to torture them. Or slash them. Or hurt them in any way. Instead, he was going to do something that hit them a thousand times harder than anything he could do.

He was going to force Cassia... to torture Poppy.

Right now.

In this room.

Whilst the whole class watched.

Tears sprung to Cassia's eyes at the very idea of doing that.

"No," she said, shaking her head and biting down on her lip to stop it wobbling. "No, please. I- I can't do that to her, please-"

"If only you'd have thought of that before," Amycus smirked back at her. "Come on. We don't have all day. Torture her."

When Cassia turned to Poppy, she wanted to break down. Because her best friend didn't look sad, or scared, or anything. She was just looking at Cassia, her eyes saying do it and I won't be angry at you.

Cassia started at her.

But what if I'll be angry at myself?

Cassia had never performed the cruciatus curse in her life. Not once. She'd had it performed on her, and had seen it be performed, but she'd never used it.

And now she'd have to.

On her best friend.

"Do it," Amycus hissed. "Right. Now."

Cassia wasn't prepared for this-

"Crucio!"

Tears were flowing freely down her face even before Poppy started screaming as the red light hit her, but she sobbed hard as her best friend dropped to the ground, screaming in pure pain.

"Poppy..." she sobbed her name. "Poppy, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-"

She stopped as the curse came to an end, Cassia still sobbing, dropping to her knees in grief and agony.

"That's exactly what I'm looking for, Miss Malfoy!" Amycus said with enthusiasm. "Try that aga-"

"You're fucking sick!" Cassia screamed at him, getting up and yelling in his face. "SICK- ARGH!"

Amycus simply cursed her backwards, causing her to fall to the floor, pain shooting through her body. Tears streamed down her face as she lay there, knowing she had to get up but not having any energy to.

She hated Amycus.

He'd taught her what it was to question his authority.

And broken her in the process.

❦︎❦︎❦︎

Cassia and Poppy were both sobbing as they held each other tightly, standing in the empty dorm.

"I didn't wanna do it but I had to-" Cassia was saying.

"No, Cass, it wasn't your fault," Poppy sobbed back. "I- I knew what I was signing up for-"

"But I did that to you, Poppy! Me! Not him!" Cassia cried, absolutely broken. "I-I love you so much, it hurt so much-"

She broke down into sobs, still holding her best friend in her arms.

She didn't know if she'd ever get over this. Poppy was so kind and so innocent, and even though Cassia knew she was brave enough for this, even though she knew everyone had to step up, it wasn't unnecessary to be having concerns.

"I love you," she mumbled to Poppy. "Never ever doubt that, Poppy, I love you so much. And I'm so so sorry-"

"Cass, stop," Poppy said, pulling back and looking her in the eyes. "I knew, okay? I knew what I was signing up for, and I knew the consequences. Yes, I didn't think even he was that evil, but I don't resent you for it. I love you too, Cass."

Cassia sighed, not cracking a smile but also feeling marginally better at the fact she was reassuring her.

"I fucking love you," she murmured again, pulling Poppy into a tighter hug. "I fucking love you so much."

"Ditto," Poppy whispered back, tears sparkling in her eyes. "You're amazing, Cassia. Anyone else could've gone through the life you've led and broke, but you're still strong as anything."

She wasn't amazing. She knew this, but she also knew there wasn't any point in arguing, because Poppy was also strong, and amazing. And she was actually amazing.

"God, this is not how I imagined our seventh year," Cassia said into Poppy's shoulder with a wet chuckle, changing the subject as the two friends pulled apart again.

"Oh, I know," Poppy nodded. "I thought we'd be the cool girls, with two amazing boyfriends and good lives and nothing but exams to worry about. And, I mean, we do have two amazing boyfriends and we are cool girls, but..."

"It's not the same," Cassia agreed, squeezing Poppy's hand. "Nothing's the same."

And it was true.

But it was nice to know someone else was going through it with her. And that even when she tortured her, she'd still come back.

It was... nice.

❦︎❦︎❦︎

As soon as Harry saw the silver doe, her name was on his lips.

"Cassia?"

He was convinced it was her. Her patronus was a doe, after all, and it said in her letter that she'd try to get a message to him.

He'd seen at the wedding how patronuses could deliver messages, now he just needed to wait until this doe revealed its one.

"Cass?" He asked, more gently this time, as he got up, walking towards the doe.

He even found himself looking around the woods, seeing where she could possibly be casting it from. He knew he was being crazy, but he wanted her more desperately than anything now, and needed to see her.

If this was her... he needed to see her.

In the end, of course, the doe didn't lead him to Cassia. It led him to the sword, which led him to almost drowning, which led him to Ron. But that didn't stop her thinking that she was possibly behind it.

He certainly wanted her to be.