KAISA HÄMÄLÄINEN

"And I can go anywhere I want
Anywhere I want, just not home"

⚠️ QUICK A/N BEFORE THE CHAPTER: THERE ARE MENTIONS OF A MENTAL BREAKDOWN DURING THE END OF THIS CHAPTER, PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION!⚠️

        "KAISA! BREAKFAST!" SHE woke up to the sound of the obnoxiously loud yelling. Kaisa groaned and rolled over to her left sight as she whispered a quick "Just five more minutes", before the reality hit her like a truck on a Wednesday morning and her eyes popped open in the span of one second... must be a new record. She took a quick look around the room she was in and to her unpleasant surprise, she took a mental note that yesterday's events were, in fact, not an extremely wild dream.

   The weird couple shouted again and Kaisa was pulled out of her train of thought as she sat up and as soon as her bare feet touched the cold floor, she hissed and pulled them back up. She looked around the room, desperate to find anything even relatively close to a sock or any type of footwear and as she spotted a pair of beige slippers, she let out a sigh of relief and immediately put them on before walking downstairs to face the dreaded people yet again.

   As soon as the couple saw her, they immediately smiled at her and Kaisa felt as if she might throw up any second. They were so fake and cautious around her as if she were a porcelain doll that could break any moment. Like she was a naive, annoyingly innocent kid. Which right now she was but she hated it. She hated feeling like this, being treated like this, it made her feel extremely uncomfortable and she stopped for a minute to think if she would prefer this or the abuse she had to endure in her past life as Nea. Needless to say that she was shocked a little when she discovered that she preferred the abuse over all this fake nice comments and smiles. It made her think that abuse was what she was made for and not love and that just proved her original theory and point further... That she wasn't meant to be loved. Not in this universe, or any other.

   "How did you sleep?" Asked the woman as they all sat down at the dinner table. Kaisa nodded and muttered a quiet "Great..." under her breath, when in reality she knew that that was far from the truth.

   She had nightmares and woke up drenched in her sweat at least three times. But what was interesting is that these nightmares were significantly different than the ones she normally has. These nightmares weren't about her childhood, her death as Nea or even about the screams and pleas of the people she had to kill, no, these dreams were about a fire... A fire that escaped from her as she was screaming and felt the anger inside her build up to the point where it felt like her entire chest area and her throat were burning and her eyes were filled with tears. And every time she slept, she dreamed of this. It always went the same way; She was having a nightmare, felt extremely furious, woke up, looked around and the entire house and her room was in flames. She didn't feel the flames that were supposed to burn her, but she did hear faint screams even through her loud heartbeat trying to drown it out, until... It stopped. And then she woke up, sweating and having difficulty breathing. But she would never tell anyone about this, especially not these people. Not only would it make her look absolutely weak, it would also mean she's putting some trust in these people and she swore to herself a long time that that will NEVER happen and she's sticking with that until the end of time.

   After the awfully all-American breakfast, Kaisa walked upstairs to change. She hated everything about this house. She hated the black and white themed kitchen and bathrooms, she hated the perfectly placed fruits on the kitchen island, she hated the pitch black stairs, she hated the fake-looking pictures hang all around the house, she hated the room she was supposed to be living in now, she hated how everything looked so pale, so out-of-a-magazine, so perfect, not a single fucking mistake. Not a single pile of clothing on the floor, not a single picture being slightly asymmetrical, not a single paint mark on the walls. It was sickeningly perfect, which frustrated Kaisa and made her want to punch a hole in the walls. But what she loathed the most was the alarm system. How is she supposed to escape this perfect looking prison if they lock the doors and windows with the devil also known as advanced technology?

   Kaisa let out a frustrated groan as she looked at herself in the mirror and once again, realised that she's still a six year old girl. Or at least in the body of one. As she looked around, the frustration has once again built up in her and she could feel the endless anger spreading in her chest, making it feel like it was on fire, then that feeling soon spread to her whole body. She picked up the vase from her nightstand and threw it on the floor with all her strength and watched it shatter, the flower staying on the floor while the water poured out and the glass broke. She felt that that was good, but not enough. No, not even close to enough...

   More.

   She took the picture down from the wall and punched it while screaming something amongst the lines of "fuck you, you fucking perfect assholes!". She punched the picture again. And again. And again. She threw the picture on the floor. No, the burning feeling was still there, if anything, it has only gotten worse.

   More.

   Kaisa looked around for more things to break and her eyes landed on one of the last delicate thing. The window. A small, evil smirk spread on Kaisa's face as she picked up the thickest book she could find and threw it at the window, to no avail. The only thing it did was slightly damage the window.

   More.

   She looked around, picked up the laptop from the edge of the bed and threw it at the window. The window broke completely, the laptop flew out the window and the loudest shattering sound could be heard.

   More.

   She threw books at the mirror while screaming profanities and all things she could think of. She kept throwing books and everything she could get her hands on at the mirror, but it seemed like the mirror was more stubborn than the window so she walked up to it and punched. Over and over and over again until both her knuckles were bloody and hurt.

   More.

   She threw herself on the floor, right on the shattered vase and the picture as she completely broke down. She rolled around and screamed, kicked and punched everything in her reach. She kept thinking of everything that pisses her off, including the house, the couple, the hospital, the weird doctor, the fact that even though she died as Nea she still somehow got a "second chance" at life as Kaisa, everything. She kept screaming until she heard and felt her voice giving out and until she felt the burning sensation go away. She felt the hot tears streaming down her face once again.

   "Damnit..." She whispered as she aggressively wiped her tears off and stood up, ready to clean her cuts and to face yet another day in this hell on Earth. She stopped walking on her way to the bathroom when she realised that the weird couple must've heard her breaking down and the window shattering. She sighed as she took a mental note to lie her way out of that situation and to come up with a somewhat understandable and acceptable lie on the laptop that lied on the grass at this very moment.

   This was going to be a very long day...