KAISA HÄMÄLÄINEN

"I wake up screaming from dreaming
One day I'll watch as you're leaving
And life will lose all its meaning
(For the last time)"

        KAISA WOKE UP screaming, drenched in blood... No, it was not blood, it was only sweat. Her breathing irregular and shallow, her heart beating so fast, almost like it would break out of her chest and fall to the floor.

   Everything felt hot. Well, everything that she could feel. It felt like the heat was spreading in her chest again, waiting to be released in another blood chilling scream. And so she let it out, this time opening her eyes and looking around for any sense of comfort.

   That was another one of the foolish and absolutely stupid habits she has tried to get rid of over the years. The very first time she had a nightmare and actually remembered it, she looked around the room as soon as she woke up, hoping her long dead mother or a nurse would walk up to her and hug her. For the first nine years of her life, on every birthday candles she blew out, on every dandelion, at every 11.11 or 22.22, at every loose eyelash between her fingers, she only wished for one thing and one thing only... to be loved. To have a family who loves her for who she is, unconditionally, like in the movies. Then she had to grow up.

   As she looked around, her eyes widened in panic. There were flames everywhere. She screamed at the top of her lungs, trying to warn Susan and the man, but no response came. She practically jumped out of bed and ran downstairs. The pair was suspicious and weirdly strict, sure, but she's not sure she could even survive on her own at the moment. It's not like she can just apply for a job or enroll herself in school, no one would take her seriously.

   As she got downstairs and kicked the couple's door down, she saw the flames rising up and their corpses laying around, horrified looks plastered on their faces. Kaisa screamed and a loud explosion went off, throwing her back to the hallway. She quickly stood up and ran out of the house, trying hard not to fall right on her face like a cliché in horror movies.

   The sound of sirens in the distance made her realize that she's actually out of the house, she really did get out. She had no idea how she did it, but she did it nonetheless. She looked down at her hands and blinked twice in confusion. Is this part of her nightmare too?

   Her nails were pitch black.

   "What happened here, girl? We're here to help. Firefighters. We're firefighters, do you know what that means?" Asked a man's voice behind her. Girl? Is this man going to murder her, like in her nightmare and in her previous life? But the word 'girl' didn't sound like an insult this time. But how would she know that? How could she ever be so sure? She's not safe, not even out of the house, and especially not in her own mind. No, not when her mind is filled with memories of actions, sounds and feelings. Not when with every oppurtunity it gets, it's like her brain goes for betrayal and making her believe she's alone, a monster and beyond repair. Like it's against her, just like the rest of the world. Like she doesn't already know all those things. "Hello? Are you listening to me? Little girl? What happened? Is there anyone else in the house? Do you remember anything? Can you hear me?" Said the voice, once again interrupting her thought process.

   Kaisa slowly turned around to look at the man, but she couldn't get her eyes or any of her senses to focus. It felt like the world around her had stopped, like when she was bleeding out on her last mission as Nea. She hesitantly looked down at her hands, checking for any signs of blood on them, obviously not seeing anything.

   The man walked towards her and put a reassuring hand on her left shoulder. "It's gonna be okay, alright? You hear me? What's your name, sweetie?" He tried looked in her eyes, trying to figure out the actions and motives that led to everything, but Kaisa didn't look up. She kept her eyes firmly on her hands, like she was expecting it to suddenly be covered in blood, catch up in fire or her nails to fall off. She didn't even blink, she didn't dare to. She feared what might happen if she did. Maybe the man would turn into the scary man from her nightmare or the man who killed her. Or maybe he would get angry and push her or walk her back in the house and watch with a sadistic smile as she burns to the ground along with the house, until nothing's left of her other than a pile of ashes. Or maybe her hands would disappear, because the blackened nails is an incurable disease, it will soon spread to her arms, then to her whole body until she will be nothing but a shadow, or even worse, a burnt shell of a person, her previous self. Or maybe she's just imagining it all, including the gentle touch of the man in front of her and she would wake up, feeling stupid all over again. It was all so delicate, this whole moment, the hand on her shoulder, her.

   The man sighed and kneeled down to get to her level. "Listen... I know you're in shock about this, but we need you to come with us. Can you do that? Do you think you'll be able to do that?"

   Kaisa's jaw tensed, so did every muscle in her body. "Excuse me?! I'm not a baby! I know what I have to do!" She was practically screaming at the brunette firefighter, whose gentle, caring and understanding look did not disappear, if possible, it even got stronger as he sighed again and stood up, offering her a hand, while taking the other off her shoulder.

   Kaisa checked the man's left arm. Normal, not metal. She continued staring at it for another minute or so before hesitantly taking it. "I'm sorry..." She muttered, looking down at her socks, directly avoiding any eye contact with the man both in stubborness and in fear that the man's face might deform into another's.

   She could hear in the stranger's voice that he was smiling as he spoke, "It's alright, kid. I get it. I understand your frustration. Don't worry, your parents are gonna be fine, like you."

   "No." She looked up, staring right into the man's brown eyes that were now wide with surprise. He was definitely taken aback.

   "I'm... sorry, what?" He blinked twice, trying to keep his emotions in check.

   "They're dead. I saw them... I couldn't save them..." She said in a tone that was almost a whisper, looking back down at her feet.

-______-

        Kaisa was sat in a very uncomfortable chair as the chief questioned her. She told him the same story she told to the man who took her into the station, whose name now she knew, Tom. That she was sleeping and when she woke up, the whole house was on fire, she ran downstairs and saw the couple, dead, then an explosion went off and she got out of the initial shocked state she was in and ran out the door, not stopping til the road.

   The police officer sighed, "Okay, listen to me... Were any of the electonics turned on? You know, microwave, oven, a charger, anything like that?" Kaisa shook her head no and the gray haired man continued, "I can't believe that not a single thing was left carelessly turned on and therefore caused the fire... Alright, I'm just... I'm going to go out and talk with some of my collegues and I have an important phone call to make, but after that, I'll be right back with ya, alright? Don't go anywhere and please, for the love of God, do not touch anything until I get back. You think you can do that? Awesome. Bye" He walked out, not even waiting for a response, making it clear it wasn't meant to be a question, but rather the most polite command in history.

   Kaisa sighed and looked around the small room she was seated in. Nothing out of the ordinary, the chief didn't have any personal belongings such as a meaningful letter or a picture anywhere with a potential wife and/or family, which could either mean two things; he doesn't have a family or he's an expert at seperating work and personal bussiness.

   After twenty minutes, she was starting to really be bored and yawned a lot more than usual. Fortunately, the sound of the door opening could be heard and she quickly stopped what she was doing -which was next to nothing- and looked up. Two serious-faced men walked in. They didn't seem to be neither police officers, or firefighters. They looked like agents of some sort... Kaisa waited for them to speak, and when they did, she was left speechless.

   "Kaisa Hämäläinen, you need to come with us."