THE PERFECT GIRL

☀︎

MARCH 1986

DEAR ALEX,

It's almost spring break and I still haven't heard from you. I thought at first my letters weren't getting through but then you stopped answering my calls. I hope you're not too busy so maybe one day I can see you. Take a break from Steve and pay your old friend a visit. I think you'd like it here in California.

I got this one friend— Argyle.

I know I mentioned him before but he wants to meet you and I think you'd like him. He's sort of my only friend here, but we already know what that's like. Don't think I'm replacing you though. You're still my best friend and I guess I did end up missing you annoying me like you said.

My mom is doing good. She doesn't say it, but she misses Hawkins. I know you haven't called her either and she thinks she bothers when she calls you. Will, too. He already used the paint set you sent him for his birthday. El told me she's been writing to you too. I don't know if you've gotten any of those either.

Don't tell anyone, but I have this secret. Nancy and I were supposed to go to Emerson together, but I don't think that's what I want. I hate to do this to you, but I applied at Lenora Community College and got accepted. I know we wanted to go to college together too but Argyle is going there and I don't think it'd be so bad. I wouldn't have to leave my mom and Will behind. I thought maybe you would've told me to go to Lenora and do what was best for me. By the way that it's been going, I'm not sure you would say that anymore. I'm not sure you'd say anything now.

I just want to know you're doing okay. The last time we spoke... you seemed distant. I don't know if it's because we're so far apart now. I'm hoping it's not that. You promised no matter how far apart we ever were, we wouldn't stop being friends. I hope you still think that way.

If you can come to California soon, please do. Maybe catch that flight with Mike.

FROM JONATHAN

☀︎

THINGS HAVE CHANGED FOR THE SMALL GROUP IN HAWKINS, INDIANA. Nothing was the same as it once was. In a way that had made sense. The events of last summer had been enough to change anyone. And that's exactly what it did. For some, it was easier, for others, it was very hard.

Early in the morning, Claudia Henderson had politely knocked on Alex's door just as she did every morning. It was a warning that Alex had only a few minutes left to be ready before she had to leave for school.

Every morning, Alex had found herself in the same spot. She had been awake for hours already, watching the wall opposite of her, never wavering, and never did she fall into a sleep while laying there. Sleeping had felt like a never-ending nightmare, one that she knew she was able to escape from. All she had to do was stay awake.

When she heard that knock from her mother, she got up from her bed, already dressed and ready. She was always ready to go before those knocks of warning. She was ready long before the sun had a chance at getting up. It helped keep her awake to get ready for school once the clock had passed midnight.

Picking her backpack from beside her bed, she looked back into her mirror once more. Only for a quick check of her hair before she put on her shoes. Heading into the kitchen, she said nothing as she prepared herself Pop-Tarts for the go.

She waited as they heated up in the toaster and the minute they had popped up, she grabbed them, placing one in her mouth before she headed out the door. Her mom had called goodbyes as she knocked once again on Dustin's door, trying to hurry him along for the day as she always did.

Alex had shut the front door with a click and right on time, the bus had pulled up in front of her house. She didn't waste time as she headed down the steps of her house and down the driveway to the bus. The bus doors had creaked open, a familiar sound that Alex had grown used to this year.

Alex had given her bike away, sold her camera, and put all her favorite pictures into a box under her bed. All of those things-- they were the past. It was time to move on and forget. Let go of what had hurt her the most. Holding onto a life she once loved brought her into a depression, however, letting that all go, it only made things worse.

This morning, the bus was filled with hushed voices. It was too early for most to engage in conversation, the ride home was different. Alex hated the ride back from school. It was always too loud and people hopped from seat to seat to start conversations across the bus. In the mornings no one moved. Either way, no one ever sat with her.

Up the steps, she had kept her head low, giving a quiet hello to the driver as she passed. Her eyes focused on the floor as she passed the seats. She sat in the same seat every day, no one ever taking it. They didn't need to. All of them had their seats. Close to their friends and where they felt comfortable. Most sat in pairs, typically with their closest friends so they always had someone to talk to about their day, share stories of their lives, tell jokes, or sit in comfortable silence with them.

Looking up from her seat, Max had watched as Alex approached. Every day she had moved her backpack off the seat, waiting for Alex to sit. And every day, she was left with nothing but her backpack back on the seat next to her. It hurt her every day holding onto the hope. Even if they didn't talk, just having Alex beside her would've changed how she felt. Ever since the Byers' left it was as if everything around the felt too real and their emotions changed who they became. But every day Max held out hope that maybe things would change back the way they were.

Today was a little different. Today, Max had looked at Alex and knew it was just the same as every day. Alex held onto her quick and easy breakfast, kept her eyes focused away from people, and had an unimaginable pain in her eyes. Today was the first day all year that Max hadn't moved her backpack. Slowly, she was accepting that she had lost someone she loved once again. She had pushed everyone else away, so it made sense that in return, Max had someone push her away for a change. Accepting that pain was harder than living in denial, but it had to be done.

Some people tried to change for the better, unlike Alex and Max. Certain people refused to let go of everything they cared about, even if it had hurt. Then they tried to heal themselves. Steve Harrington had healed himself in a way that he thought was best but only hurt him every day.

He had picked up Robin as he did every day, taking her to school. They were best friends, never to be separated. They spent every chance they could together and it helped that they worked together at Family Video. They told each other everything and yet sometimes they still lied. Sometimes they pretended they didn't mind the pain they felt.

Heading to the high school, Steve had carried on with his conversation but he could tell Robin tuned him out. She tended to do that if she was bored of the same old topics he brought up. It certainly helped when she was focused on making herself more presentable for a certain person at school. She let him ramble on and on as she did her mascara, steadying herself to not poke her eye.

"Then there's Heidi tomorrow night, but the problem with Heidi is that she's going out of state for college," he continued. This was his issue, the one issue Robin hated helping him with. "So it's like, do I really wanna start another relationship that has no point other than sex? I just... I mean, I don't know. Does that make sense to you?" He was frustrated as is, but when he looked over to Robin, she had only been putting on mascara, oblivious to his words. Not even a blink of attention was for him. "Robin, are you even listening? What did I say?"

"Yeah, uh, something about sex with Linda." It was a shot in the dark, but she had to assume. She couldn't keep up with Steve's new take on how to handle his love life. It didn't help that she didn't care about these other girls.

"No! I'm talking about Heidi," he said in frustration.

Robin pulled back from the mirror as she turned to him in annoyance. "Cut me some slack, please! Your love life is one of labyrinthine complexity. And it is seven in the morning, we have to go to the stupid pep rally, and I woke up looking like a corpse!" Her eyes met the mirror again in horror. Placing her hands on her cheeks, she was in awe at how she could not look good of all the times this year.

"You're worried about the pep rally? You expect me to believe that?"

"Yeah, so?"

Steve pulled his eyes off the road for a second as he looked at her. "So we both know what this is about. Okay, I'm not buying that bullshit. This is about Vickie."

Shaking her head, Robin lived in denial to avoid this conversation. "No, it is not."

"Yes, it is. You know what else?"

"I really don't care."

"I think you gotta stop pretending to be someone else when you're around her. You just gotta be yourself."

In disbelief, Robin sat back in her seat. "You're literally quoting me. You do realize that?"

Nodding his head, he felt she only further proved his point. "Well, maybe you need to listen to yourself. You ever think about that, smarty pants? I listened. Look at me. Boom. Back in business."

"Mm, no," she snapped. "I gave you solid advice, shitbird, and what did you do with it? You took it as have sex with whoever the hell you ask out then get upset when there's nothing more."

Steve barely glanced over to her, his face tensing as he knew where this was going. "Yeah, maybe let's not go where I think you're headed, Robin. Okay, I'm not just having sex, I'm actually trying to find the perfect girl for me."

"Oh, right," she scoffed. "And how exactly is that going, Harrington? I-I mean, have you even spoken to Alex? Because I'm pretty sure she was your perfect girl, you even said so yourself. Can't find what you're looking for with Heidi or Linda or Brenda or whoever you're seeing this time around. You know why? Because you're looking for what you already had."

He shook his head in disbelief that she could turn what he saw as a fine, enlightening conversation to help Robin into this. Now it had turned into something he wanted to avoid talking about for the rest of his life. "Yeah, that's great, Robin. She broke up with me, so perfect girl or not, Alex and I are not dating anymore. She says don't leave me, then leaves. So, yeah, I'm allowed to see if there's another girl out there for me."

"I asked if you've talked to her," she spoke loudly. "I-I mean, do you think maybe she's changed her mind but can't bring herself to tell you? Or better yet, check in on her?"

Steve furrowed his brows together as he looked over at her. "Did she tell you she wants to get back together with me?" There was a hopefulness in his voice that caused Robin to tense. There was a silence that had Steve's heart aching. His stomach twisted into knots because for a single moment, he believed that Robin had wanted him to talk to her because of information she knew of. But when Robin had looked at him, all of those hopes came crashing down. "Have you even talked to her?"

"No," she breathed out. Capping her mascara, she was now growing upset herself. "She stopped sitting with me at lunch not too long after you two..." her words trailed off as she looked out the window. "She stopped talking to me a while ago."

Shaking his head, Steve had closed his eyes in disappointment. "Why didn't you tell me? This is shit we're supposed to tell each other. At least I thought we did."

"I didn't want to talk about her when you were so very clearly heartbroken," she admitted. Now Robin had wished that she had chosen to have Steve berate her about Vickie. At least then she could defend herself without throwing herself under the bus.

Steve bit the bottom of his lip as he thought. Clearing his throat, he kept his eyes on the road. "Who exactly has she talked to at school then? Anyone?"

Robin's eyes pulled away from the window as she looked over at Steve. "No one really," she said quietly. "I guess, uh, I've seen her talk to Eddie Munson. H-he's totally bonkers though. You know that," she said quickly. It was clear that when Steve had turned to her as quickly as he did that he had assumed the worst— she had found someone else. "They rarely ever talk anyways. He's a part of the Hellfire Club with Dustin." Perking up, Robin had snapped her fingers in excitement. "She probably talks to him about Dustin! Yeah, yeah, she probably finds out when his club is so she knows when he'll be home. I bet you a million bucks that's what they talk about."

Steve eased up as his shoulders finally slacked. Robin felt herself frowning once again as she looked at him. "I didn't mean to bring it up, Harrington. It's just... I don't see why you throw yourself at all these ladies when you don't even want to be with them."

"I said I have to move on," he said quietly. "Right, that's what people do. So, sure, maybe the sex isn't as good and I don't see anything remotely close to perfect when I'm with anyone else, but I have to try. Yeah, so, you're gonna deal with hearing about my labyrinth-y something or whatever shit you said and let me figure out how to move on."

Robin sat back in her seat, nodding her head in agreement. She didn't want to accept this was how it was. She had always thought it should have been her in the backseat while Alex sat up front beside him. They would hold hands, something Robin would be jealous of because she didn't have that with Vickie, and they would playfully tease her about how she'd be sloppy when putting on makeup in the car just for Vickie to notice her. In the end, they'd laugh and things would be perfect.

That was the life Robin had wanted. Instead, she settled on this new life. A life that maybe wasn't as perfect, but she still did have someone— she had Steve Harrington.