WHO'S AN ACCEPTABLE LOSS?

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LOST IN FIRE (book three).
°•        CHAPTER TEN        •°

"        I DON'T EVEN RECOGNIZE
YOU ANYMORE.       "

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By the look of Indra's face, the second she sees the man being experimented on alive, Harley knows she's telling the truth. She had no idea about this, and Kara didn't ask her for permission. Which only left one reasonable explanation, one Harley didn't want to consider or even think about, but it was there. Octavia gave Kara the okay to do it. She didn't want to believe it, not yet, but it seemed Indra, Bellamy, and Clarke already had. Harley remained still, frozen with the fear about Octavia as she watched silently when knowing there was only one thing they could do for him, and it was Indra who decided she'd be the one to do it.

The body jerked and withered from where Indra put her hand through a glove, pressing it firmly over his nose and mouth. He choked and spluttered, pale face becoming blue before his eyes fluttered shut and he at last stilled. "Yu gonplei ste odon, Tarik kom Louwoda Kilron Kru," she muttered, withdrawing her hand. (Your fight is over, Tarik of the Shadow Valley Clan.) Indra is clearly angry as she turned, gesturing for the three witnessing the death to follow her. "Let's get this over with."

But as soon as they leave the lab through the plastic cover, the door opens, and Octavia walked in with Kara shutting the door after her. Kara scowled when she sees the unwelcome guests. "What the hell are they doing here, Indra?" She demanded.

Octavia cocked her head. "You wanted to see me?" She guessed.

"You knew about this?" Indra questioned lowly.

"Of course I knew about this. It was my idea." Octavia's answer brought the world around Harley crashing down. A part of her knew since Monty suggested it, but she didn't truly believe it until Octavia confirmed it herself. Harley feels like she had been punched in the gut and all the air had been sucked from her lungs from the hit because her family was there. And Octavia knew it. "We're up against an army with superior firepower and every geographic advantage. This is how we overcome that," Octavia continued in explanation shortly.

"What happens when your secret weapon destroys the valley you're fighting for?" Clarke retorted.

"I ran some tests," Kara cut in. "The worms can't survive in a green environment for more than a few days. Long enough to kill everyone they come in contact with before we get there."

"Are we really having this conversation?!" Bellamy exclaimed in bewilderment. "Our friends are there. People we love." For a second, Harley thinks that will in some way get to Octavia. But her heart hurts when it doesn't.

Instead, Octavia only shrugged carelessly. "Acceptable losses."

The two words repeat in Harley's mind again and again. She tried to sound as firm as possible, but her voice broke in sorrow as she echoed Octavia. "Acceptable losses." When Octavia finally met her eyes, Harley made sure she could hear how hurt she was. "You're telling me that my brother is an acceptable loss to you?"

"Cooper, check on the worms," Octavia commanded flatly, an indirect order for her to leave them. Kara doesn't hesitate, stepping into the lab where they once came. "Come on, big brother," Octavia urged. "How many innocent lives have you sacrificed? Or you, Wanheda?" She questioned. "And Harley, you were willing to let Murphy die in this bunker six years ago to open the door and save me. This is no different." Harley wants to argue, that this is different, but she knows it isn't. She drugged her brother herself and put his life at risk for Octavia. "You were just trying to save your people. So am I," Octavia stated, but Harley can't respond, too stunned and in pain to find the right words.

The plastic drape to the lab was ripped open by Kara. "You killed him," she announced in disbelief.

"No. You did," Indra accused.

Kara ignored her in a fit of anger to speak to Octavia. "One of the defectors survived," she explained shortly to answer her leader's questioning expression.

"Looks like we found something that's not acceptable," Bellamy mumbled.

"Blodreina, I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Kara apologized, speaking over him as she shoved her way past. "But the results were remarkable. The worms reproduced three times faster in a live body, and we need quantity as well as control."

When seeing Octavia nod in wonder and understanding, Clarke had her outburst. "Octavia, you don't want to do this," she begged.

"Spare me your hypocrisy, Clarke," Octavia snapped back. "Miller told me about the man that you irradiated in Becca's lab." Clarke, astonished, clamped her mouth shut. "And just how long did your test subject survive?" Octavia asked Kara.

"Long enough for a defector to board their ship and fly to the valley," Kara responded with a satisfied grin.

A chill crawled up Harley's spine at the sight. Neither Kara or Octavia cared about not only her close friends that she loved like a family but her brother, someone she couldn't live without. "Octavia," she pleaded softly. "If you do this, you won't be able to look me in the eye, and you know it." Harley could see it was hard for Octavia to do it now as she moved her gaze from her to her brother because she was ashamed.

"Please," Bellamy inputted. "Don't do this."

"I don't want anything to happen to your friends," Octavia finally whispered in defense. "Not Murphy. Not even Echo. Please believe that." Harley doesn't know if she does. "But this is war." She made her final decision. "Once we control the eye in the sky, we send the worms." Octavia whirled around, her red, torn cape flying behind her. "Cooper, chose one of the elite guards to deliver it. It's time for Wonkru to go home."

As tears pool in Harley's eyes, she feels heavy betrayal weigh itself on her shoulders, submerging her underwater until she can no longer find her way to breathe.

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And Harley wasn't going to let her family die in the valley. She loves Octavia, too much and with all of her heart, but she can't let her deliver the worms. Her problem wasn't with killing the enemy. It was the grief she was already feeling, thinking that the people she spent the last six years with were going to have their insides be eaten by the weapon once it was delivered. Bellamy must have struggled with the same, as he, Clarke, and Harley went over every inch of a plan they had to get their loved ones out.

"Let's go over this again," Bellamy suggested from where he had been pacing. "As soon as Echo and Raven get the Eye down, we take the rover. We drive across the wasteland, we break out our people before Wonkru attacks with the worms."

"Octavia will expect us to do something like that. She'll post sentries," Clarke pointed out, leaning over the table beside Monty, who had been quiet, reading a piece of paper in his shaking hands.

Harley frowned tightly. "That sucks for the sentries, then," she threatened.

Suddenly, Monty furiously slammed his fist on the wooden table, causing a system to jump and scare everyone in the room. Harley's head immediately snapped in his direction, startled. "Monty, what is - "

"This," Monty interrupted. He rose, holding the paper in one hand. "This was supposed to be Jasper's suicide note after we pulled him out of the City of Light. He was gonna put a gun in his mouth and pull the trigger."

The scowl Harley held faded, her features softening into pity as she felt more grief thinking back to Jasper. "Monty," Clarke whispered gently. "Now's not the time..."

"After hearing Harley, I think now is the perfect time!" Monty expressed sharply. He lifted the letter and started reading out loud. "Monty, I know you're an optimist. You think better days are ahead, but that's not true. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. There's only the tunnel, another enemy to fight, another war. I've come to the conclusion that we're the problem. Human beings, all of us. The cycle can't be broken as long as we're here. That's why I..." Monty paused, his voice cracking. "... Won't be here. That's why..." He couldn't finish, eyes wet as he stopped, fighting back the tears close to spilling.

"Monty... It's okay," Harper comforted him lovingly, coming up to his side. Harley doesn't know what to say, her lips parted, but no words coming out. She didn't know what she was expecting from the letter she saw Clarke give Monty, but it wasn't this. Jasper used to be full of life and happiness before Mount Weather, and that light died as fast.

"Jasper was smarter than all of us," Monty mumbled. "It doesn't matter what we do. Coming back to the ground, opening the bunker, all we've done is made things worse."

Despite Harley did feel the same sorrow Monty was, she did, she can't help but ask. "So you're saying we shouldn't have opened the bunker?"

"I'm saying I don't even recognize you anymore. That sucks for the sentries?" Monty fired back, quoting her with sudden venom in his tone that made Harley stop dead in her tracks. "If a war is the only way to have the last survivable land on Earth, then maybe we don't deserve it."

Nobody says anything, the tense between Harley and Monty so thick it could be sliced with a knife. Then he leaves, his head bowed as he takes off with slamming the door shut behind him. Harley is still quiet, letting what Monty said sink in. I don't even recognize you anymore. If a war is the only way to have the last survivable land on Earth, then maybe we don't deserve it. She feels like she agrees, in some way, but then shoved the feeling aside, knowing she's changed. Harley had grown into a different person in six years, that much was obvious, and she felt like Monty was disgusted with her now.

A gentle hand rested on Harley's shoulder. She looked over to see it's Harper, holding a face of sympathy. "Hey," she began. "Don't overthink. He didn't mean it like that."

"Did he?" Harley questioned pointedly because they all know he did. Harper went silent, knowing nothing she said now would help.

Still, Harper made an offer. "You can get some air."

Shaking off what she felt, Harley shook her head in disagreement, pushing aside Harper's suggestion along with her hand and turning to the table. "No," she mumbled. "This is more important." The computer was still blank, which meant Echo and Raven hadn't completed their mission yet. Harley couldn't leave yet. If they didn't, and soon, everyone was at stake.

Eventually, staring at the computer screen became too much, and with Clarke sitting next to her, Harley put her head on the table. She wasn't asleep, but her eyes were shut, her arms crossed under her head. She was exhausted, knowing the last time she had gotten a decent sleep was in space, where they were safe. A part of Harley missed it, wanting to be back in the ring - but there was one thing that made her time there miserable. Octavia wasn't there with her. And something horrifying happened in the bunker, something she wouldn't talk about nor would her people, and Harley wished she could have prevented it.

"Something's happening." Clarke's sudden announcement made Harley pick her head up in curiosity as Bellamy hurried to her side.

She was right. The screen was lighting up, the circle that was the prisoner's camp turning a mixture of blue and green, letters and numbers jumbling together beside it, making Harley's eyes widen. Then three words appear at the top in block letters. REMOTE ACCESS. ACQUIRED. Cameras with different views appeared in squares. "It's done," she whispered in amazement.

"We're in," Clarke finished, relieved. "Echo did it." Nodding, Bellamy went to leave their side, but Clarke snapped out her daze to stop him. "Wait, Bellamy. As soon as we tell her, she marches to war and unleashes those worms." The smile slipped off Harley's face at the reminder. Once Octavia knew that Echo succeeded, the people she loved in the valley were dead, including Murphy.

"That's why we got to get there first," Bellamy stated. "We take the rover, we get our people out, then we worry about stopping the war. Okay?"

Harley huffed softly. "Or finishing it."

Ignoring her, Bellamy continued with his plan. "I'll get Monty and Harper, you get Madi," he told Clarke. "Harley, stay with the computer in case anything changes." Harley rose her hand without turning around, giving him a mock salute of understanding. "We leave tonight," Bellamy decided, leaving, the slam of the door echoing after him.

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It doesn't take too long for Bellamy to return with Monty and Harper. Harley had moved out of Monty's way so he could take over observing the information, knowing that he'd understand what was on the screen better as they waited for Clarke to come back with Madi. She had left in a rush but had yet to return at the same pace, having Harley wonder if the young girl was alright. She knew Octavia was Madi's favorite and didn't consider that it may be a problem for them until now.

What the four have been waiting for finally happened when they were reaching their last bit of patience and Harley was considering finding Clarke herself. The door to the control room swung open, hitting the wall, and Clarke stormed in, her lips pressed together, her jaw clenched, and a furious flare in her blue eyes. Bellamy glanced at her up and down, noticing the emotion, and left puzzled. "Where's Madi?" He asked.

"With your sister," Clarke seethed. She made it clear without words. She wasn't going anywhere without Madi.

"Clarke, we don't have time for this," Bellamy exaggerated in disbelief. "We have to leave now. As soon as Diyoza realizes what Echo did, she's dead. We have no choice."

"You're wrong. We have one," Clarke declared boldly. She approached the wooden table, hand reaching out to pick up the walkie, stopped when Monty reacted quickly and gripped her wrist.

"Wait. What are you doing?" Harper asked.

"Stopping the cycle."

Silent, Clarke and Monty stared at one another, a mutual understanding passing between them as he slowly released her wrist. Harley was stunned into quietness as she pressed the button, speaking lowly into the speaker. "This is Clarke Griffin. I have a question for Colonel Diyoza."

It doesn't take long for a response. "Hello, Clarke. Its been too long, what the hell do you want?"

Clarke got straight to the point. "What would it take for you to share the valley?"

"Share it?" Diyoza repeated with a scoff of amusement. "Well, let me see. Short of an unconditional surrender... Nothing."

"That's not an option," Harley said firmly.

Everyone in the room knew Octavia's views. "Octavia will never surrender," Monty pointed out, agreeing with Harley.

Lifting her chin, Clarke slowly lowered the radio and spoke with determination. "That's why we're gonna take her out."

Just like that, Harley's world around her crumbled down, filled with horror and fear as she pressed her sudden shaking hands on the tabletop. A storm swirled in her mind, and she squeezed her eyes shut, attempting to block out Clarke's words. That's why we're gonna take her out. It screamed at her, telling Harley that she had two choices now.

The life of the girl she loved, or the life of her brother.