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「 eight. life's full of flaws
who knows the cause?
living in the memory of a love that never was . 」

ELIZABETH DEAN WAS A FIRM BELIEVER IN GETTING THE MOST OUT OF LIFE. She wanted to live the rest of her days embraced in peaceful bliss, preferably living in a small house not far from a beach where she'd be able to paint the view every morning. Unfortunately, it seemed as though the rest of her life would be fighting for futile cause.

Bellamy wouldn't live forever, and as much as Lizzie brushed off the thought, it still lingered in the back of her mind. She wondered what it'd be like after he was gone. Maybe she'd be a recluse, living in solitary all her life and choking on her own loneliness.

The thought of having a husband or wife touched her thoughts lightly. It'd probably just be her. Her facing the world by herself. The thought was almost daunting, as though she were standing on the abyss of a forever desolate void.

However, walking along a sun-kissed path surrounded by nature, annoying the shit out of a middle-aged man and a girl far too curious for her own good, she didn't feel like the firefly who'd been in one too many revolts, or who's purpose was to simply fight for 'the-greater-good.'

"Holy shit. You ever fly in one of those?" Ellie pointed out, gesturing to a crashed plane that rested over the grass. The trio and Bellamy had reached a grassy clearing leading to a hill, which adorned the broken airplane.

"A few times, sure." Joel responded, his eyes squinting under the warm sun which had finally increased the heat.

"Were you scared?" Lizzie asked, turning to glance at the man whilst two strands of blonde hair fell to frame the sides of her face.

Joel stared at the plane with a hard expression. "No, it's a lot less scarier than it looks."

"Nah, you were definitely scared." Lizzie mumbled, her gaze set upon the missing mid-section of the plane.

"So lucky." Ellie breathed out.

"Didn't feel like it at the time. Get shoved into a middle seat, pay 12 bucks for a sandwich." Joel remarked.

"Oh, you say that, but then five hours later you were in a different country." Lizzie interjected, raising an eyebrow at the man.

"And Dude," Ellie gawked, "you got to go up in the sky."

"Wait, so where have you been?" Lizzie asked curiously.

Joel huffed. "Ever heard of a place called Greece?"

"Nope." Lizzie shook her head. Unlike Ellie, she'd not been forced into a seriously underfunded school system. Instead her mother had taught her, then her brother, and then Marlene.

The group carried on down a long path surrounded by fields and scenery. It was different for Lizzie, having grown up under cheap, spray painted wooden homes and constant gunfights, life had been the opposite of tranquil. But The place she walked through now was serene and calming, safe from any violence or sickness.

"Its so calm out here." Lizzie breathed out, her eyes scanning the endless valley's of nature and flowers.

"Yeah, that's because it's too rural for any of the infected to live here. They live in towns rather than the countryside." Joel explained.

"What about people?" The blonde inquired, readjusting the backpack that adorned her back.

"Most people live in the quarantine zones, under FEDRA supervision. People like t-me," he paused, "only use these paths for transport. and the rest of the world, well, they're starting revolts, riots, stuff that'll get them killed." Joel finished.

"So, everything just came crashing down one day?" Ellie asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Pretty much."

"How? I mean . . . no one was infected with Cordyceps, everybody's fine, eating in restaurants and flying in planes." Ellie shrugged, "And then, all at once? How did it even start? If you have to get bit to be infected, then who bit the first person?"

"Imagine being the first person. That'd be crazy." Lizzie added.

"Was it a monkey? I bet it was a monkey." Ellie rambled, sharing a look with the blonde as she let out a breathy laugh.

"It wasn't a monkey. I thought you went to school." Joel remembered, looking to the brunette with an odd glance.

"FEDRA school." Ellie stressed, "They don't teach us how their shitty government failed to prevent a pandemic."

"What's it like in a school?" Lizzie asked, earning bewildered looks from her two companions. She knew the basics of school. An endless cycle of learning meaningless shit that would surely do little for their future.

"You never went to school?" Joel interjected, raising his eyebrows in surprise. The blonde shook her head in return. "No. My mom just taught me basic stuff. Alphabet, reading, writing, all the good stuff. Then when I met Marlene, she taught me how to defend myself. How to use a gun, knives, bats. Bats were always fun."

Her words surprised both Ellie and Joel. Whilst Ellie had been eleven, learning pointless subjects with her head resting on her hand, and her eyes trained on the chaos that lingered just outside the walls, Lizzie been that chaos. Lizzie had been part of the gunfights, riots, and other acts of violence that poisoned the city of Boston. In one way or another, Lizzie was blended into the life of brutality and savagery, isolated from the childhood she'd never got to taste.

It left sour taste in Joel Miller's mouth once he realised just how fucked up the fireflies had been. He'd heard the stories of the fireflies, though he himself wasn't one. He knew they were labelled as terrorists and scum, but the young girl beside him, no older than fourteen, held no lust for violence in her pale eyes. No trail of overbearing bloodshed shining in the grin on her face.

Elizabeth Dean looked no different to the teenage girls that were friends with his Sarah. She looked not an ounce different to the teenage girls that once lived in his neighbourhood back in Texas, bar the few cuts and bruises that scarred her body. Hell, she almost carried the same gleam of innocence in her eyes that Sarah did all those years ago. But she wasn't Sarah.

Sarah was pure and kind-hearted. From the moment her brown eyes reached his, she'd stolen his heart completely. She was his life's purpose, and every moment they'd spent together was a gift Joel had taken for granted. Sarah miller had been intelligent beyond belief, matching her mind with a heart of pure gold, and she deserved better than what the fates had stowed upon her.

The girl that stood between him and Ellie, the girl who sent fond glances towards the golden retriever that walked slightly ahead of them, she was not his Sarah. Elizabeth pushed forward a shield of security and power, like a lion amongst a horizon of jaguars. Her eyes, as innocent as they were, were struck with a piercing gleam that seemed to outshine her once childish youth.

Joel's eyes searched her as though looking for something he could not find, only awakening from his thoughtful trance when the girl punched him in the shoulder.

"Wow, cowboy, don't go daydreaming now." She joked, turning to Ellie in a hushed voice, "i wanted to do that for fuckin' ages." She grinned, referring the punch that she'd landed on him.

Ellie huffed a laugh, rolling her eyes before bringing the subject back to the infected. "So, how did it start?"

"No one knows for sure, but, best guess. . .Cordyceps mutated," Joel began to explain, "And some of it got into the food supply. Probably a basic ingredient like flour or sugar. There were certain brands of food that were sold everywhere, all across the country, across the world. Bread, cereal. . .pancake mix," Lizzie took notice to the way the last two words made him tense for a moment before he continued, "You eat enough of it, it'll get you infected. So the tainted food all hits the store shelves around the same time, Thursday. People bought it, ate some Thursday night or Friday morning. Day goes on. . .they started to get sick. Afternoon, evening, they got worse. Then they started bitin'. Friday night, September twenty-six, two-thousand-and-three. And by Monday, everything was gone."

Ellie and Lizzie walked silently, the atmosphere shifting into a much more morbid one than it had previously been.

"It makes more sense than monkeys." Ellie stated after a moment. "Thanks."

"Sure."

Joel stopped walking, watching as Bellamy stopped in front of them, his nose prickling as he looked around them in confusion.

The man placed out his arm, blocking the two girls from journeying forward. "What's wrong?" Lizzie asked in confusion to the man's sudden change in demeanour.

Joel's gaze trained on the woods as he looked at the towering roots that climbed to the skies. Dozens of fallen green leaves fell to the floor, not yet tainted by the autumn weather.

"We'll cut across the woods here." Joel instructed, sparing an unsure glance to the valley up a head of them.

"Why, did you see something?" Lizzie asked, standing on her tiptoes as she lifted her head to try and see into the distance.

"No."

"Well, isn't the road easier?" Ellie added, gesturing to the open road before them, which showed no trace of danger.

Joel sighed, "yeah, it's just. . .There's stuff up there you shouldn't see."

"Well, now we have to see." The brunette grinned enthusiastically, oblivious to the sight that laid upon the hill. "Come on, Beth, I'll race you."

"No, no. I don't want either of you to see." Joel shook his head, following the two.

Lizzie grinned, brushing off Joel's concerns as she caught up to the brunette. "Lizzie!" The man called, only to be ignored by the blonde. "Ellie!"

"Can it kill us?" Lizzie raised an eyebrow.

"No." Joel answered after a minute.

"You're too honest, man. Should've said axe murderer." Ellie dismissed, turning to the man with an amused look on her pale face.

Much to Joel's dismay, the two girl's chased their way up the hill, racing each other every couple of moments. Bellamy had joined the two as they ran, almost tripping Ellie up much to Lizzie's amusement.

When they reached the top, Ellie called out to Joel. "Uh, Uh. . .whatever it was. . .I think it's gone." Her tone faded from its usual cheeriness when she noticed the horrified look that dawned over Lizzie's face.

The air turned somber and melancholy as the trio stopped in front of the sight.

A large plain of dirt sat in the middle of the field, bare from any grass. Scattered over the piles of dirt sat multiple decaying remains of human bodies. Pale clothes, ripped and stained sat buried on the skeletons. Different bones—some larger signifying adults, and some younger signifying children—lay to rest over the field, forever abandoned and isolated from the rest of the world.

Joel came up behind the two girls, pausing momentarily. "About a week after Outbreak Day, soldiers. . ." He shuddered, "went through the countryside, evacuated the small towns. Told you you were goin' to a QZ, and you were. . .if there was room. If there wasn't. . ." His voice faded away as he stared at the abyss of decay before him.

"But these people weren't sick?" Lizzie frowned deeply.

"No, probably not." Joel responded.

"Why kill them? Why not just leave 'em be?" Ellie asked, pursing her lips. Her eyes drowned in sadness and pity for those who'd lost there lives for a meaningless cause.

"Dead people can't be infected."

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SOMEWHERE JUST BEYOND THE OUTSKIRTS OF BOSTON, the entrance of a white picket fence blowed from the warm breeze, guarding the large white-painted house.

The house sat silently, surrounded with the empty presence of those who once lived there. It's garden was adorned with vibrant plants and strawberry beds.

Had the abandoned town not been so eerily quiet, Lizzie might of found it a nice place to live.

On the other side of a large metal fence, Lizzie, Joel, and Ellie stood looking at the town. The oldest of the trio put a hand out to the two girls. "Stay there."

"Not a problem." The blonde chimed, her hand clutching Bellamy's leash. She assumed Bill and Frank, the only two that resided in the town, might not've be used to seeing dogs since the outbreak began, so she decided to take the extra precaution just in case.

On the dainty fence, a warning read, 'DANGER! High voltage." Yet, Joel walked up with little hesitation and began dialling numbers into the little black keypad that sat at the fence.

After a moment, it opened and allowed the trio and Bellamy inside.

"Well, I mean. . .it's not the worst place to live," Lizzie mumbled, "actually, it's kind of cool."

The group walked through the town. It was strange to imagine that people had lived there previously. That the desolate town they wondered through hadn't always been shunned from the outside world of destruction. Lizzie almost forgot the town actually was home to two middle-aged men.

Joel led them to a peculiar house. Lizzie supposed this was Bill and Frank's due to it being the only one with the window's open. The only strange part of the house was the wilted flowers that leaned out of their pots, decaying slowly.

Slowly, Joel approached the door, his hand hovering over the golden door handle, as if unsure of what he would find inside the house. After a moment, the door opened and the trio walked inside.

A somber tension lingered throughout the house, bittersweet and quiet. Lizzie didn't need to hear confirmation to already know what happened. Whilst the world around them burnt to cinders, Bill and Frank remained intwined, tucked away in their own hidden paradise.

"What the fuck?" Ellie breathed out, stepping into the home.

The interior looked the same as any suburban house would twenty years ago. A wooden table with cutlery and utensils sat beside plates and wine glasses to the left, and on the right a dozen eye-catching paintings rested in the room.

"Bill?" Joel called out, his eyebrows creasing in confusion as he noted the way the lamp was still on and nothing looked out of place, except the lack in presence of an optimistic, hopeful man and his less optimistic, overprotective partner. "Frank?"

Silence.

Bellamy sniffed the area, his dark eyes falling onto one room which's door remained forcefully shut.

"Stay here." Joel ordered the two, "you hear anything, you see anything. . .yell."

"What if they're gone?" Ellie inquired, capturing Joel's attention however, the man simply looked down before walking further into the household.

Flies danced around the plate of half-eaten food on the table, flickering back and forth between the two plates.

Ellie and Lizzie walked into the living room, the brunette's attention focusing on the lonely piano that sat in the middle of the room. "Have you ever played the Piano?" Ellie asked.

Lizzie stifled a laugh, "oh, yeah. Didn't you know, there's a dozen piano's back home at the fireflies' base." She responded, sarcastically.

"Hmm, you're just so funny." Ellie rolled her eyes.

"Oh, thank you," she grinned, "but no I've never played Piano. Have you?" The blonde leaned back against the large instrument, lowering her finger onto one of the closer cords, creating a deep chime which made Bellamy tilt his head as he stared.

"No, they don't really teach you in military school." The brunette remarked idly.

A flicker of silver caught Lizzie's eye as she pushed away from the piano and towards the table. A cream-coloured envelope underneath a black and silver key sat up against the table. "Hey, come see this."

Ellie complied, walking over and looking down at the envelope. "Well, open it."

"No, why would I open it?"

"Cause you found it." The brunette argued, gesturing for Lizzie to open it. After a moment of bickering, Ellie rolled her eyes as she opened the envelope, pulling out the letter inside.

The sound of footsteps trailing back into the room echoed from Joel, the man casting them a confused glance. Ellie had moved to sit in a vacant chair, Lizzie on the floor beside her, with Bellamy sat with his head resting in her lap.

"It's from Bill."

On the back of the envelope, the words, 'to whomever but probably Joel." were written, to which Ellie read it aloud.

"We figured we fell under "whomever." Ellie explained.

Lizzie fiddled with the car keys, dangling them in front of Joel. "It came with this, by the way."

Joel took the car keys, licking his lips with a frown as he stared at the keys in his palm. "So they're dead?"

Joel didn't need to see the two nodding to know.

"You, you wanna?" Ellie asked, holding out the letter to him. "Go ahead. You do it." He declined.

"August twenty-ninth, twenty-twenty-three. If you find this. . .please do not come into the bedroom." Ellie read, "I'm guessing you found this, Joel, because anyone else would've been electrocuted or blown up by one of my traps." Ellie paused, looking up from the letter, "Hehehehehehehehe."

Had the circumstances been different, Lizzie might've laughed at the use of laughter that had been included in the letter.

"Take anything you need. The bunker code is the same as the gate code but in reverse. Anyway. . .I never liked you, but still, it's like we're friends. . . almost. And I respect you. So, I'm gonna tell you something because you're probably the only person who will understand. I used to hate the world, and I was happy when everyone died. But I was wrong because there was one person worth saving. That's what I did. I saved him. Then I protected him. That's why men like you and me are here. We have a job to do. And God help any motherfuckers who stand in our way. I leave you all of my weapons and equipment. Use them to keep..." the girl's voice faded as she read the four-letter name.

Joel reached forward, snatching the paper out of Ellie's hands with a bitter look. His eyes scanned the paper quickly, lingering on the name of the beautiful woman he missed so dearly.

It had been too late. Joel couldn't protect Tess anymore, no matter how much he wished he could have. Tess had been a result of carelessness, and Joel believed her blood would forever stain his hands a deep crimson. One that even the seas of Neptune could not erase.

"Stay here." He breathed out, and Lizzie could tell by the shatter in his voice that the words on the page had agonised his mental wound. Within the next moment, Joel had left the two girl's in the living room with nothing but each other and the dog.

When Joel returned, he immediately spoke, "show me your arm."

Ellie did as instructed, pulling up her arm to reveal her bite mark. Like the previous days, the bite hadn't worsened.

Joel looked between the two, "I just finished makin' a truck battery. It's charging right now." He explained, nodding his head lightly.

"Cool." Lizzie responded, unsure of what to actually say after the reaction he gave to the letter.

"And I have a brother out in Wyoming. He's in some kinda trouble, and I'm heading out there to find him.
He used to be a Firefly. And my guess is he knows where some of them are out there. Maybe they can get you to wherever this lab is, 'cause Liz, I know you ain't got a clue where you're headed, do you?" The man raised an eyebrow at the younger blonde.

"Not a clue."

"Exactly." The man finished.

Ellie spared a glance to the blonde before looking to Joel, "Uh, listen, about Tess, uh. . ."

Joel waved his hand to dismiss her. "If I'm takin' you with me, there's some rules you gotta follow. Rule one, neither of you bring up Tess. Ever. Matter of fact, we can just keep our histories to ourselves." Joel explained, training his gaze to Ellie, "Rule two, you don't tell anyone about your. . .condition. They see that bite mark, they won't think it through. They'll just shoot you. Rule three, you do what I say when I say it. We clear?" Joel ordered, looking between the two, his eyes swirling with seriousness and intensity.

"Yes." Both girls nodded.

"Repeat it."

"What you say goes." Ellie repeated slowly, followed by Lizzie, "Whatever you say goes, Gunman."

"Okay. Rule number four," his gaze locked tightly on Lizzie's, "you don't let anybody know you're a firefly, unless I say so."

"Alright." The blonde nodded.

"So what now?" Ellie asked.

"We grab what we can." And that's exactly what they did.

Lizzie climbed down the ladder to the underground basement, a bewildered beam on her face as she looked at her surroundings. Each wall was adorned with a gun, each bigger than the last. Different types of weaponry and machinery sat on the tables, waiting to be messed with.

"Holy shit." Ellie grinned, "this guy was a genius." She breathed out, turning to look towards a music box that released an old song. 'Chains of love.'

"Why'd they leave music on?" Lizzie inquired, her hands skimming over the various knife collections.

"If he didn't reset the countdown every few weeks, this playlist would run over the radio." Joel explained, lingering by one of the many camera's in basement.

"Eighties." Ellie realised, leaning over to look at the computer. Joel nodded once, gesturing to the large pile of cans behind him, "grab some cans from over there. You, bug, pack other things. Spare batteries, tools, mechanical objects."

"On it." The blonde nodded with sarcastic enthusiasm.

Lizzie looked over at the dozen stacks of guns, tempted to take one of the wall, find a large stack of ammunition, and hide it from Joel's sight. "Dude," she breathed out, catching Joel's attention.

"There's a whole wall of them." Ellie added in astonishment, desperate to use one.

Joel looked at them unamused. "No."

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HAD LIZZIE MET BILL AND FRANK, SHE'D OF BELIEVED THEM TO BE GODS the minute she stood under a warm shower. Any shower she'd had for the last ten months had been freezing and left her trembling for an hour afterwards, but the shower she'd recently climbed out of left her warm and comfortable.

She'd came across a pair of washed-out jeans which appeared to be baggier due to the intention they were made for middle aged men, and not a fourteen year old girl. She'd also managed to find a comfortable red sweater, she'd assumed to be Frank's from what she'd heard from Joel.

She felt almost giddy to finally feel fresh and cleaned, like a daisy that had been blessed by the morning sun. For once, her hair carried a small ounce of volume and smelt fondly of strawberries due to the strawberry shampoo she'd found. It confused her for a moment to know they'd actually found shampoo, however, she soon realised they had made it using the strawberries they had grown in the yard.

After multiple failed attempts, Lizzie had also successfully bathed Bellamy, with the help of Ellie and Joel. Though the man wouldn't dare admit it, Lizzie could see the way Joel tugged his grin away whenever Lizzie or Ellie yelped as water splashed on their faces when the dog shook. Now, Both Bellamy and Lizzie glowed fresh and cozy after their long awaited bathes.

"Well, don't you look pretty." Lizzie heard Ellie tease, as she walked into the living room from the kitchen.

In front of the brunette, Joel stood in a fresh set of new clothes and free of any blood stains that tainted his hands.

"Oh, the prettiest cowboy in all of the Wild West." Lizzie joined in, her eyes highlighted with amusement.

"Shut up." Joel grumbled, throwing them both a bottle of deodorant. "Thanks."

Within the next course of moments, the group made their way towards the blue and white car, Ellie and Joel opting for the front, whilst Lizzie and Bellamy jumped in the back.

Joel watched with raised eyebrows as the girl beside him fiddled around with everything in sight, a large grin on her face as she did so. "This your first time in a car?"

"It's like a spaceship." Ellie beamed, earning a pat on the shoulder from the girl in the back. "Oh, leave her be, Gunman. Let her have her fun."

Joel scoffed, "it's not like a spaceship, it's like a piece of shit Chevy S-ten, but it'll get us there. . .I think." The man examined the car, turning to the two, "seatbelt."

Ellie looked at him confused, to which he pulled on the seatbelt beside her, gesturing for her to take it. The man looked in the mirror above his head, his eyes training on the blonde in the backseat. "You got yours, bug?"

Lizzie nodded, pulling around her seatbelt. "Don't worry, Gunman. I'm a big girl, I can do my own seatbelt." She teased, clicking the seatbelt down, and allowing the dog beside her to practically sit in her lap.

Lizzie searched the door's and pockets around her, looking for any sort of entertainment. Luckily, a small tape appeared next to her, to which she grinned before leaning over to slide it into the tape holder.

"Lizzie," Joel groaned, "would ya leave it? Put it back, Lizzie,"

A soft melody sounded from the machine, one that both Lizzie and Joel recognised. "Oh, wait, leave it," he ordered when Ellie attempted to touch it, "this is Linda Ronstadt. Do you know who Linda Ronstadt is?"

"And I think it's gonna hurt me
for a long, long time."

Ellie rolled her eyes, "you know I don't know who Linda Ronstadt is."

"But I do." Lizzie interjected, recognising the familiar tune of the song.

"Wait for the day you'll go away
Knowing that you warned me of the price I'd have to pay."

"Eh, it's better than nothing." Ellie shrugged.

And with a final smile, the car descended away from the town, leaving it in a forever trance of peace and tranquility in the years to come.

And in the backseat of a white and blue car, a young blonde hoped that the man driving hadn't witnessed the pistol she'd hidden in her backpack.

☼

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really long update tbh
there's probably a lot of mistakes in here Ik please just correct me it's so helpful. I've barely edited this because I'm shattered and immediately will be going to sleep after posting this chapter.
but every chapter is just closer and closer to Henry and Sam :(