hello everyone (˶‾᷄ ⁻̫ ‾᷅˵)

i won't waste any time.

it has come to my attention, with a heavy heart, that some individuals have been bending the rules during the voting round of these awards.

when i made the decision to allow votes to be reset daily, my intention was rooted in fairness — a small attempt to level the playing field so that every nominee, regardless of their popularity, could have an equal opportunity to be recognized for their work.

and yet, i've seen evidence of practices that betray this vision: a system of "vote for vote," where votes are exchanged as though they are currency, not cast as genuine endorsements.

it has also been brought to my attention that some have used their own side accounts to vote for themselves. while i cannot find everyone who has done this, the knowledge that it has occurred — perhaps more widely than i can even imagine — has left me feeling profoundly disappointed.

and the worst part is, i can't track down everyone who has done this. i don't have the tools or the energy to play detective.

these actions, though perhaps small and seemingly inconsequential to those engaging in them, cast a shadow over everything these awards were meant to celebrate.

i cannot hide my disappointment. it feels like watching a delicate piece of art being dismantled thread by thread, until the beauty of the original vision is barely recognizable. it makes me question not only the fairness of this process but my own judgment in organizing these awards in the first place.

and yet, i also want to be clear: my disappointment is not absolute.

i know that there are many of you who have participated with integrity, casting your votes honestly and in the spirit of what these awards were meant to represent. to those of you who have done so, i am deeply grateful.

i will be reflecting on how to proceed from here, but i felt it was important to address this openly, to share my thoughts with you rather than keep them buried in silence.

and while this process has shaken my faith, it hasn't diminished the value of what you've created. i hope you remember that, even if the process itself has been imperfect.

this has been a learning lesson for me, one i wasn't expecting to face. i never imagined it would turn into something so competitive, so sought after, that people would bend the rules to win.

and i didn't think the prizes were anything special. i mean, they're just graphics — something i made with the tools and skills i had, nothing extraordinary. but seeing how much people seem to want one has been... surprising. humbling, even.

(and yes, ego-boosting, though i'll admit that with a bit of a wry smile.)

i've tried to think of solutions. i've spent the hour turning it over in my mind, trying to come up with a way to make this fair again, to restore the integrity of the process. but i keep coming back to the same conclusion: there might not be one.

i wanted this to be fun and meaningful, and now it's become something stressful and disappointing.

and so, i've created this chapter to let you all know that if this doesn't change, i will no longer be hosting these awards for years to come. it sucks to say that. it sucks even more to feel it. because up until now, i was having so much fun.

i loved seeing people interact, seeing them discover new authors and share their excitement. i loved feeling like i was a part of something bigger, something creative and good.

but a few people have ruined it — not just for me, but for everyone who followed the rules. to those of you who did, i see you. i appreciate you. you remind me why i wanted to do this in the first place.

at the moment, of course, i will finish these awards. i made a commitment, and i intend to see it through. but unless those few who have decided to cheat the system reconsider their actions, this is just how it will have to be.

again, i don't have the tools or the energy to keep chasing fairness if people won't meet me halfway.

i hope i'm not making this seem like i'm overreacting or blowing things out of proportion. but the truth is, a few people have come to me, privately, to let me know about what's been happening — the bribing, the side accounts, the vote manipulation. hearing these things, especially from those who genuinely care about the integrity of these awards, has been difficult.

something i created with love and excitement has been turned into something that feels competitive and hollow.

for now, i will continue to weigh my options, but i ask that we all take a moment to reflect on the spirit of what these awards were meant to celebrate — and whether our actions have upheld or undermined that vision.

much love,