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Gerard took Anthony's hand as they were leaving the building, at the end of the day.

"Can I kiss you goodbye?" Gerard shyly asked and Anthony nodded.

Gerard leaned forward to kiss Anthony's cheek, who pouted. "Is that all?"

Gerard giggled and pecked Anthony's lips, and waved at him before walking away. He didn't want to rush anything, and was hoping that Anthony would understand.

Gerard hadn't seen Mikey anywhere so he went home alone. Mikey, in fact, had already arrived at their house.

"Gerard." Mikey was on the couch, face in his palms. He seemed lost in his thoughts and kind of confused. "Guess who it was."

"Who was what?... Oh, you mean who wrote the letter?" Gerard asked as he kicked his shoes off and put his backpack down. Mikey nodded.
"I don't know, you tell me..."

"It was Pete."

"Wow. I am shook." Gerard faked a shocked expression, but he had known it was Pete all along, he and Brendon had guessed right. He was just going to try to avoid mentioning it not to get slapped in the face by his little brother.

"So? What happened? I want all the spicy details." Gerard grinned and sat on the couch next to Mikey.

"Well, he... To be brief, he told me he really liked me and..." Mikey stopped and blushed.

"And what?"

"We... Kissed. Like, really... Kissed a lot. More than kiss in fact, he... We..." Mikey stopped and bit his lips, his cheeked tained red Gerard put a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Hey, I understand if you don't wanna talk about it, it's private. But right now I'm kinda dying to know..."

"I... Gerard, I don't know if I can... This- this is serious..."

Gerard took Mikey's hands. "Hey. You can tell me Mikes. No judgement here, you can trust me. I won't tell a soul, promise."

Mikey shook his head and replaced his glasses, mustering the courage to speak. "He... He gave me... He gave me a h-handjob..." His voice died down, and his face turned crimson as he just realized that he had just told his brother about his sex life.

Gerard smiled and ruffled his brother's hair. "That's- that's good ! I heard Pete's good, you know... At this. I mean, it's good you two... You know... Did that."

Gerard cleared his throat. Awkward...
"I mean, it's normal if you're scared but you have no reason to be."

Mikey hastily got up and came back to his bratty self. "Oh my God Gee, I don't want to talk about THIS with YOU, eww !" he huffed. "Anyway, anything new for you?"

"I-I kinda kissed Anthony..."

Mikey hurried back next to Gerard. "You kinda kissed Anthony? Oh my God, really? How was it? So, you like him better? Was Frank jealous? Does he even know?"

"Mikey, you're being a gossip again..."

"Sorry. But I told you about my stuff, it's your turn to tell me everything. Don't forget the 'spicy details'."

"Fair enough. Well, I don't think Frank knows, so please, for once, keep your mouth shut. I really don't wanna hurt him or argue, you know how much I hate arguments."

Mikey nodded, he indeed knew it too well. To Gerard, arguments were a waste of energy, someone always ends up hurt in some way and Gerard loathed the thought of hurting anybody.

Of course, arguments were sometimes unavoidable, but to him, there were better ways to settle things.

Arguing with Frank was the last thing Gerard wanted since he genuinely cared about him and wouldn't stand yelling.

"In fact," Gerard continued, "when I kissed him, I didn't really think about the aftermath of it. It just kinda... happened. I liked kissing Anthony, and that doesn't mean I don't like Frank. Now if you're done with your nosy questions, I'm going to my room."

•••
Gerard closed his diary and revolved his wheeled desk chair as he heard someone knock at his door.

He hid the journal before Mikey came in. His eyes were puffy, he looked like he had been crying. "C-can we talk?"

Gerard arched an eyebrow, Mikey seemed very uneasy, even more than usual. "Yeah, sure." Gerard sat on his bed. "Come here", he patted as spot next to him where Mikey sat.

"It's- It's about me, me and Pete... You already know we... He..." Mikey stuttered looking for the right words, or maybe just to stall.

"Yeah, I know. It's okay Mikes, as I said, there's nothing to be ashamed of." Gerard said, seeing his brother nervously twiddle his sweater's sleeves.

As one could see, Mikey was very nosy and sassy in general, but when it came to sex or to himself, he was very private and awkward. And right now he was about to tackle a matter that was covering both of these, so you can imagine how upset he was.

"I... Gerard... Is it okay if I liked that Pete, you know..."

"Touched you? Down there?"

Mikey gulped and nodded, replacing his glasses with his index.

"Of course it is. Really, I wouldn't consider you as human if you didn't." Gerard giggled and Mikey smiled awkwardly. "Really, it's okay. I can't see why it wouldn't be okay."

"Because... Pete's a guy... And if I liked it, that means I- I'm..."

"-Gay?"
Mikey didn't replied, he just nodded.
"Mikey, look at me. It's not because you enjoyed a handjob that it makes you gay. It could've been done by a girl-"

"-Yeah, but it wasn't." Mikey interrupted. He seemed agitated.

"Listen. You didn't seek it, and Pete did it because he is gay. Now, if you liked it, it's normal and it doesn't mean you're gay. But if you also liked it because Pete did it, then yes, you're probably gay - or bi, or whatever includes liking me. And there's nothing wrong with that ! If you have feelings for him - real feelings, and not just liking casual sex with him - then just go with it. Don't mind what people say."

"I- I don't know... Maybe I just liked the handjob... Or maybe I like Pete? How could I ever know?"

Gerard put a hand on his brother's shoulder. "There's one way to find out : spend more time with him. See if you like him and if you guys have stuff in common."

"H-How can I know for sure if I'm in love?"

Gerard chuckled.
"Now you're asking me what love is. Well... You'd be ready to do anything for the other, even the most stupid things, really. Leaving them is as... as a part of you was missing. You always think about them, you think about all the things you could do together. You regret every word you say to your love because to you, they were never sweet enough. You also become cheesy, extremely cheesy." Gerard giggled.

"But love is not only when you feel butterflies though, that's just physical attraction," Gerard resumed. "It's also when you feel serene with the other. True love is when someone loves you for who you are, with all your flaws."

"I'll try to remember that." Mikey smiled. "Thank you." He hugged Gerard before leaving. He really had the best brother one could ever wish for.

Gerard went to bed. He started thinking about that kiss with Anthony, and couldn't help but to compare it with the one he had shared with Frank.

Anthony was gentle and loving, while Frank was intense and passionate.

Gerard thought about what he had just said to Mikey. He deeply cared about both Frank and Anthony ; they made him feel so loved and less lonely.

And then it became all too obvious for Gerard and he faced the truth, the terrible truth.

He loved both of them.

If only they could get along, things would probably be less complicated... In any case, Gerard had no idea how to settle this situation.

For now, it seemed than Anthony and him had just started something real. He was a bit less intimidating than Frank, more comprehensive and more committed, which made Gerard feel more at ease with the thought of dating him.

But what about Frank? Gerard didn'twant to give up on him and leave him behind. He could hardly picture himself friendzoning the punk though.

Gerard sighed, and despite this terrible dilemma confusing his heart, a goofy smile appeared on his lips as he fell asleep.

He really was becoming cheesy.

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