009 ECHOES OF ENIGMA 

by btsachu 

TITLE- 3/5 

The title is appealing, but I'm not sure if it fits the story. The title is in all capitals so it's not grammatically correct.

BLURB- 5/5 

The blurb introduces the characters and the main conflict well. It draws readers in and makes them want to read the story. I liked the quote at the end of the blurb.

BEGINNING- 2/5 

There is a lot of information to keep track of in the prologue and it gets overwhelming. The first chapter is also full of information. The first chapter and prologue don't draw me into the story.

GRAMMAR- 2/15 

There were a lot of spelling errors and grammar errors throughout the chapters. There were also places where words seemed to be missing in sentences. Quite often, articles (a/an/the) were missing from sentences and dialogue. It'd hard to keep track of who is speaking and what actions they're doing.

Make sure to keep the dialogue for the same characters on one line with the actions and dialogue tags.

For example, you have this part in chapter five:

"Your majesty," Jieun smiled, grabbing his shoulders as she gave her blessings.

"Call me mom, Jisung." Jisung smiled.

"Mom." Jieun closed her eyes for a few seconds, her expression turning ecstatic, her motherly instinct kicking in. She opened her eyes, her gaze soft and nurturing. Her motherly feelings swelled, an overwhelming tide of affection, protection, and an unspoken promise to guide and cherish.

It should be like this:

"Your majesty."

Jieun smiled, grabbing his shoulders as she gave her blessings. "Call me mom, Jisung."

Jisung smiled. "Mom."

Jieun closed her eyes for a few seconds, her expression turning ecstatic, her motherly instinct kicking in. She opened her eyes, her gaze soft and nurturing. Her motherly feelings swelled, an overwhelming tide of affection, protection, and an unspoken promise to guide and cherish.

WRITING STYLE- 3/10 

The writing style needs work. As mentioned, it's hard to understand what's going on and keep track of the information. Don't dump information on the readers all at once. Spread it out through the chapters so the readers aren't overwhelmed. More descriptions could be added as well. The descriptions that were included were good.

PLOT- 5/20 

I'm honestly confused what the plot of the story is and where the story is heading. The blurb mentions Lee Minho and Han Jisung are rivals at university. Chapters 1-3 are about Lee Min-joon and Han Jin-ha and then chapter 4 suddenly switches to Minho and Jisung. What was the purpose of chapters 1-3? Minho and Jisung are clearly a couple in the fourth and fifth chapters despite the blurb focusing on their rivalry at university. The exposition introduces the world pretty well, however, as mentioned information is dumped on the readers. The exposition needs to introduce the characters better. I think the plot needs to be thought-out more.

SURROUNDINGS- 5/10 

The world isn't easy to understand. Information is dumped on the readers in the prologue and first chapter (also in the details to note chapter) and it's a lot to understand and keep straight. I did like that the Moon Goddess has two forms, male and female, that's not something I've seen before in a werewolf story. It's clear a lot went into the development of the world and I wish it was easier to understand.

CONTENT INSIDE- 4/10

The chapters were a good length, however, as mentioned it was hard to understand the events in them. The characters need to be introduced and developed better as well.

PACE- 5/5 

The story seems to progress at a good pace.

ENJOYMENT AND ENGAGEMENT- 1/5 

The story wasn't enjoyable and I wouldn't read on. I had a hard time understanding what was happening in the story. I did like the unique approach to the werewolf genre though, it was different.

TOTAL- 35/90

Overall, the plot needs to be thought out more and developed. The story doesn't seem to have a clear direction. Spread out the information about the world and work it into the story so you're not dumping all the information on the readers at once. The story also needs an edit to fix the spelling and grammar errors throughout. The cover is alright, it fits the story, however, the effects are a little much. The top of the cover is kinda empty. The stickers on the cover are also hard to see. I like the effect on the title text, it's very cool! Good luck with your story!

010 Code Braker 

by -lily_wanders 

TITLE- 3/5

The title was unique and nice. Even appealing. It was also grammatically correct.

BLURB- 2/5

The blurb summarised the whole plot. It was too long to be called a blurb, and it did not contain anything catchy.

BEGINNING- 2/5

The beginning was too confusing. The writings are not properly done. Try to write things in such a way readers could understand and could connect to your story.

GRAMMAR- 8/15

Firstly I will suggest you to proofread thr chapters there were multiple punctuation errors and there were no quotation marks when you were writing convert between two characters.

The writing style needs improvement, the way you have presented your story, is grammatically incorrect. You need to stress on grammar and writing style/skills.

WRITING STYLE- 4/10

The dialogues are not written properly. It was very difficult to understand, the situation, the emotions and even sometimes the context.

The constant changing of povs was making

the writing more difficult to understand.

Dialogue tags were missing, which is why I could connect to the characters and the situations.

PLOT- 12/20

I can see you have worked on the plot. Your idea is great but the only thing which needs polishing is your execution. Introduction of the characters with a picture and few info is not the right way. I will suggest you to read novels so you can understand how execution is done.

SURROUNDINGS- 5/10

Author has tried to showcase the surroundings but it lacks creativity and information. I wanted some more insights.

CONTENT INSIDE- 4/10

The chapters were short. Story lacks engagement. Characters were not introduction properly. Author needs to work on character structuring.

PACE- 3/5

The pace is good.

ENJOYMENT AND ENGAGEMENT- 3/5

Lacks in engagement due to improper execution.

TOTAL- 46/90

I will suggest you to through some actual published books it can be any book you like and see how things are written, the format the style the way characters are written. It will definitely help.

011 Destined: to meet you

by Thewintersnow17 

TITLE-3/5 

The title appeals to a romance audience and fits the romance part of the story. However, it's a little bit generic and doesn't seem to address the fantasy part of the story. Also, capitalizing all the words (Destined: To Meet You) would make it look more professional.

BLURB- 2/5 

The blurb is an excerpt from the story. It did make me curious about what was happening in that particular scene. However, it didn't tell me what the story is actually about. A lot of the information in the "Main Characters" chapter was information I would usually expect to find in a blurb instead. Mentioning things like the transmigration plot, or the existence of demon hunters, in a short blurb could get readers more interested in the story.

BEGINNING- 3.5/5 

 The Prologue is great, short and tells the reader just what we need to know to begin the story. However, Chapter 1 was confusing to me, as we don't learn how long the lead has been living as Lin Chao Xing until Chapter 2. I was under the impression she adjusted instantly to being the character. Explaining the time skip somewhere in Chapter 1 or even at the end of the Prologue could really help the beginning make more sense.

GRAMMAR- 13/15 

Most of the grammar and punctuation is good, but the writing switches a lot between past and present tense.

WRITING STYLE- 9/10 

The writing is full of thick, vivid descriptions and metaphors. To be honest, it was a bit much at first, but I got used to it while reading and ended up really enjoying the style.

PLOT- 15/20 

 The plot of the book Lin Chao Xing is in is pretty interesting. I enjoyed the mystery of who is controlling the demons and how the characters are going to stop them. However, the transmigration aspect of the story felt honestly unnecessary. Most of it is quickly explained in Chapter 2 as backstory, which made me feel like I'd missed the actual plot. Pieces are then told to us later after they become relevant. Showing us information before it has a big impact could help events feel more natural and less contrived.

SURROUNDINGS- 10/10 

The magic system is very cool and fun to read. The worldbuilding is also very interesting with the existence of demons and the shape they take.

CONTENT INSIDE- 7/10 

CHAPTERS: The chapters are a nice length and the titles are beautiful.
CHARACTERS: The characters don't feel as distinct as they could be. The best is Liu Xi Wang, who has character conflict after Chapter 3 and 4 when we learn about his inner demon. The two original book leads don't feel like people until their backstory in Chapter 6. Lin Chao Xing herself feels inconsistent at first, since she's so stoic during the fight scene but so expressive in the market with Xi Wang. However, she becomes more solid and interesting as the story progresses.

PACE- 2/5 

The pace at the beginning is jarring; it feels like starting in the middle of a story instead of the beginning. It did improve after Chapter 3 though.

ENJOYMENT AND ENGAGEMENT- 3.5/5 

 My favorite part of the book was the fight scenes. The magic is really cool and is described in a beautiful way. It was difficult for me to get invested in the plot at first, but around Chapter 4 I understood more of what was going on and felt more engaged. Overall, the plot and characters lost me a little, but this is a cool idea for a book and I'd love to see more of the magic and world.

TOTAL- 68/90

012 Our Existence is Scandal 

by saveadanceforme 

TITLE- 4/5

The title is certainly unique, and does catch the eye of potential readers. Nevertheless, the title is grammatically incorrect. The correct format would've been: Our Existence is a Scandal or Our Existence is Scandalous. Other than that mistake, I find the title to be intriguing, it piques my curiosity, and makes me want to know more. 'Why is their existence a scandal?' is the first question that popped into my mind as I read the title.

BLURB- 4/5

The blurb is short, straitforward, and yet detailed enough to give us an idea of what we'll be reading about without giving away the plot. I love how it dives right into it, with no introductions to the character other than her name and her title (most dangerous woman in the galaxy). It's very refreshing to read a blurb that just goes right into it. The opening line is especially eye-catching, making me curious as to who Sol was running from and why.

BEGINNING- 3.5/5

The prologue was definitely interesting. It gave us a clear overview as to how they ended up on Mars - the planet being mentioned in the blurb that Sol and her fellow chainmate had to survive on. However, there were some errors in the grammar and sentencing structure of the chapter, that made reading it a bit tedious as I had to decipher and rearrange sentences. I also noticed that the author did not follow the action and dialogue tag rules, which is quite normal for novice writers. Nevertheless, I do suggest that the author break down her sentences, instead of making them into one singular (long) sentence with no semicolons and commas present.

GRAMMAR- 11/15

The story is littered with small grammatical, spelling, and punctuation mistakes. While the story is still very much readable and understandable, the little mistakes that I've noticed can really ruin a reader's enjoyment.

While the tenses used have been somewhat consistent, I am more inclined to focus on the misuse of vocabulary, which leads me to believe that English is not the first language of the author. Oftentimes, we fail to see vocab as having much of an impact on our stories, especially when the mistakes are small and far between. However, it is the tiny details that can either make or break a story.

WRITING STYLE- 8.5/10

I find the author's writing style to be nice. The descriptions and dialogue are written quite well - providing us insight into the character's thoughts. This is even more evident as it is written in the 1st person. Personally, I find 1st person POVs to be lacking in terms of giving insight to other characters as we only have one narrator to rely on. However, the author does well in providing to us a clear scene, indicating that the narrator is somewhat reliable.

PLOT- 18/20

The plot feels like a combination of John Carter and Guardians of the Galaxy; however it is entirely unique in its own right. The plot is immediately revealed to us in the prologue - aligning perfectly with the blurb as I have said prior. It's a very well-thought out chapter, giving the readers reason to continue despite already knowing how and why they came to land on Mars. Reading the novel felt more like an adventure novel with sci-fi/fantasy elements - which was blended quite seamlessly.

SURROUNDINGS- 7.5/10

The author used a well-known planet as the setting for their story, making it easier for the readers to follow the story and making world building much easier to do. However, I feel that due to this premise, the author does not describe the red planet as much - expecting the readers to already know what it is like. Because of this, I feel that the world-building is a bit sloppy due to this reason. Finally, I feel like the story fits the Sci-Fi tag more than Fantasy.

CONTENT INSIDE- 7.5/10

The chapters were all quite well thought of. Characters and scenes were introduced quite well, despite the latter lacking descriptions on what the main character sees around her. Despite this minor omitted detail, it does not derail the reader from enjoying the chapters which I find to be of an appropriate length.

As for character development, there hasn'5 been much as we are still in the process of revealing the character and the extent of her personality and crimes. We do know however that she is used to killing. And yet, her demeanor seemingly belies that ability.

PACE- 3.5/5

I find the pace to be quite good. It is not too slow, nor too fast - and remains constant in the chapters. The pace set gives us, the readers, enough time to digest the information given while not delaying or dragging the scenes.

ENJOYMENT AND ENGAGEMENT- 4/5

I enjoyed the brief time I spent reading the novel. The characters are introduced quite well, and I enjoy the dynamic between Astra and Sol - who seem to have very opposite personalities. But, it still remains to be seen what will happen to these two. I expect there 5o be plot twists and enjoyable mysteries to be solved.

TOTAL-71.5/90