Trigger warning:
breakdown, self-hatred, guilt, depression, heartbreak.

｡･::･ﾟ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆ - ☆｡･::･ﾟ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆
𝖳𝗈𝗆 𝖮𝖽𝖾𝗅𝗅 - 𝖠𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝖫𝗈𝗏𝖾
｡･::･ﾟ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆ - ☆｡･::･ﾟ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆

With quick steps she had hurried back to the Red Keep. The fear that Daemon would run after her was too strong. But Daemon did not come.

She sent one of the guards to Rhaenyra with the news that she had arrived safely, but was not feeling well and needed to rest for at least the rest of the day. Aruna didn't want her friend to worry, but she didn't want her to pass either.

Behind her, she had locked her room door and drawn the curtains, darkening her chamber. It was just early afternoon, but the girl didn't want to see anyone else today. She had enough!

With the first tears running down her cheeks, she now broke down completely.

She had tried everything to be strong, but she was still young and had never learned to deal with her feelings. She had always had to suppress them and now they seemed to explode.

Aruna fell into a deep hole and huddled together in her bed, the blanket pulled over her head. But then she got the feeling of not being able to breathe and threw the blanket to the floor, but that didn't help.

She heartlessly unlaced her dress, damaging it in the process. Aruna tore the dress from her body and threw it to the floor as well, but the oppressive feeling still remained. Her hair was all messed up and with her hands running through her hair, made knots in it.

It took forever for her to calm down and eventually anger won out over her grief and fear.

How had she let all this happen? Daemon's little games had made her crazy and love-struck. Aruna had been blind and it angered her so. It annoyed her that she had been willing to give him everything and Daemon had played with her.

She didn't believe a single word he said. His pleas were only part of his game and surely he delighted in her suffering. Surely he would go through the same thing with Lady Laena. But even if Aruna had wanted to, she would not warn Laena. The pain was too great that no one had warned her.

But her family had warned her. Rhaenyra had warned her. Everyone had, even Daemon himself, but she had been blind and even now she didn't want to admit it. She felt left alone, even though she wanted to be alone.

Aruna hated the pressure and expectations everyone had on her. She hated even more the one she was creating for herself.

Exhausted from her breakdown, she washed her face and put away the shreds of her dress. Aruna was wearing only her undergarment when she called for a maid. She didn't have to wait long as the girl from this morning arrived. "My lady, you called?"

"Run me a bath please... I think I'm going to be sick" she lied to the maid. The maid looked at the lady's reddened face and immediately ran a hot bath and a second maid brought soup and tea for Aruna.

The two girls quickly left Aruna alone again and she lay down in the tub. The hot water burned on her skin, but she enjoyed the external pain because it numbed her inner pain.

Several times she changed under water and once she remained without air even for a longer time. The water calmed her and only reluctantly did she resurface for air.

She sat in the large tub like a small child and finally combed her long dark curls. They were quite knotted and Aruna decided to cut them soon, since her hair was long and troublesome.

Finally, she drank the now cold tea and took a linen sheet to dry herself. She deliberately left her soup untouched and went straight to bed. Through the windows she could hear the people from the city. They were much too loud and much too cheerful.

From her hiding place Aruna took out her notes and the two Valyrian books. She knew that lying in pity and self-hatred would get her nowhere. In fact, she had no reason to learn the language anymore. She didn't need to impress anyone anymore, but she needed a task now, a distraction and a challenge.

She spent the rest of the day working on the translation and repeating the words she had learned, sometimes only guessing at the pronunciation. Exhausted from the day's events, the young lady fell asleep among all her notes and writings.

~~~

When Aruna awoke the next day, everything hurt. Her head, her body, her heart, everything.

She would have liked to spend the day in bed, but she couldn't and wouldn't give Daemon the satisfaction. If he wanted to play, then she was ready to play as well.

Putting her hair up into an updo, she opted for a simple blue dress today. For breakfast today, she joined her family. They had not eaten together for several days.

"Aruna my dear child. How good it is to have you here." Greeted her Uncle Jaro with a smile. "I heard that you were ill. Are you feeling better?"

Aruna took a seat next to her uncle. "I really wasn't feeling well yesterday, but today I really feel better." She explained and poured some tea into a cup. She didn't feel much better, but her emotional outburst did her good in a funny way and the long sleep made her feel rested.

"We want to leave soon." Threw her aunt Estella in the room and Aruna looked surprised at the older woman. "Leaving?" she repeated in shock. Aruna didn't want to leave! She wanted to stay here! "When?"

Jaro put a hand on her shoulders. "Soon. I'm needed in Highgarden, and the festivities are officially over."

Seeking help, Aruna looked to her brother, but he avoided her gaze.

"I cannot leave. I am the personal lady of Princess Rhaenyra. She needs me here." Aruna's voice sounded almost desperate. The fear of losing everything again was too big.

"We know." Estella looked at her niece with a serious look. "And the queen wants Adrik in the royal guard." Her aunt handed her a letter, which Alicent had written herself.

She quickly read the words and yet could not believe what it said. "Adrik is this true?"

Her brother nodded slowly. "She already asked me after the tournament, but I couldn't give her an answer until I talked to all of you. This morning I got her letter."

The letter, or rather the order from the queen, almost made Aruna despair. Adrik would stay here? Alone?

"Your uncle and I have talked about this for a long time. We feared that your presence would be needed here." Estella began, and her husband Jaro completed her sentence. "We leave the choice to you."

Speechless, the two orphans looked at each other. After all that was, after all they had been through, neither of them had expected such a decision. Aruna got to stay and so did her brother!

Aruna had so many questions, but didn't want to cross the bow and just nodded her thanks.

The Tyrell family ate breakfast together and there was a happy atmosphere like there rarely was. They understood each other and almost Aruna became sad that her family would leave soon.

After breakfast, she accompanied her brother to the city. Unlike yesterday, today she was happy and Adrik also seemed full of positive feelings and hope. The two siblings were allowed to stay and decide for themselves.

Adrik had taken her hand as he led them through the crowded streets. They were traveling entirely without guards, but Aruna had never felt so free and safe as she did now.

The two stopped at many stands and examined a wide variety of goods or tasted the exotic fruits. They even briefly stopped by the blacksmith's and watched his work quite interestedly.

Around noon, the two had lunch in a local restaurant. They talked non-stop the whole time, talking about their wishes and worries and encouraging each other.

For dinner they were back at the Red Keep and Adrik was also allowed to take a seat at the royal table. Adrik wanted to give his approval to Alicent this evening. Aruna was almost more excited than Adrik himself.

"Glad to see you are feeling better" Rhaenyra smiled at her. Aruna hadn't even sat down when her friend had already apologized for her behavior yesterday. The Tyrell squeezed the Targaryen's hand. "Thank you" The two girls smiled at each other.

"Where is my basket anyway?" asked Aruna to the group. Laenor and Laena now looked up from their conversation as well. "The guards brought them here at noon today. They are all still in our chambers" Laenor answered her question. "Would you like to have it?"

"Oh no. Consider it a gift" Aruna smirked with a wink. Laenor and Rhaenyra had to laugh. Then Aruna told about her talk with the family and that she was allowed to stay here.

She did not tell about her brother and the King's Guard, because he should announce that when he is ready. Adrik watched his sister the whole evening with a smile. He was proud of her and happy to see her so open and happy.

Aruna almost forgot about her breakdown until Lady Laena brought up the reason. "When will your uncle be back, Princess Rhaenyra?"

Aruna glanced briefly at Adrik before listening to the two women's conversation.

"My uncle disappears every now and then and then reappears. Sometimes it takes weeks, sometimes he doesn't come back for years." Rhaenyra explained disinterestedly and enjoyed her dinner. You could tell she didn't want to talk about Daemon right now. "You never know with him."

Aruna stifled her words and forbade herself her evil thoughts.

Daemon had left King's Landing. He had run away when things got complicated. And Aruna was still here. She had suffered, but she had stayed. She suddenly felt stronger than ever and somehow she was glad that Daemon was gone.

She hoped everything would be easier now.

Lady Laena looked saddened. Her brother Laenor tried in vain to cheer her up.

But Aruna could not and would not let her mood be spoiled. She drank her wine, ate the delicious meal and enjoyed the time with her friends, who also looked deeply into the cup.

In the evening, Rhaenyra and Aruna retreated back to the princess's private chambers. They talked and exchanged news, not skimping on wine and laughing constantly.

Today was a complete contrast to yesterday and Aruna finally felt like she could breathe again.

~~~

But with breathing came chores. Rhaenyra was more and more involved in the council meetings and so had less time for her friend in the last days.

Meanwhile, two weeks had passed since Daemon's departure and Aruna was doing well despite everything. Her heart missed him very much, but her mind forbade her feelings and so she concentrated on Brandon.

Since her family had left a week ago and Adrik had been taken off in the Kingsguard, Aruna had spent most of her time with the young Stark. They had explored King's Landing and the gardens and alleys together, getting to know each other better. They spent almost every spare second together. The Tyrell girl enjoyed his attention and loving nature very much.

Also today they sat together in one of the pavilions in the Royal Garden and drank tea.

Brandon told her an anecdote from his childhood in which Aruna could hardly breathe with laughter. With him she did not have to behave like a lady. He liked her the way she was and he had fallen in love with her honest laugh.

"how did your father react?" Aruna wanted to know, laughing. Brandon had to laugh as well. He had been holding her hand for a while. "He was terribly upset! I wasn't allowed to go out and see my siblings for a week."

"But you certainly scared the poor maid!" Aruna looked into the Northerner's bright eyes and her heart warmed.

He always sounded so happy when he spoke of his family. His family seemed warm and they seemed to love each other unconditionally. Aruna wondered if there was room for one more person in the family.

They drank their tea and ate cake together before walking through the garden. As they did so, Aruna had raked her arm in his and nestled lightly against him and his leather clothing.

Then, all at once, Ser Brandon stopped amidst the many roses. "Every time I see roses, I think of you." Admitted Brandon, carefully plucking a rose to give to Aruna. "She is almost as beautiful as you, Lady Aruna."

The girl's heart got all warm and she felt a slight tingling in her stomach. It almost felt the same as with Daemon.

Joyfully she smelled the beautiful rose and closed her eyes. Today was a beautiful summer day and the sky was almost as beautiful as Brandon's eyes.

When she opened her eyes again, however, the man was gone. Searching, she looked around and when she turned around she saw Brandon kneeling in front of her. Startled, she took a step back, but Brandon took her free hand.

"Please don't be afraid." He asked her, looking up at her nervously. "I don't want you to ever be afraid again, because I want to protect you and be there for you. I want to love you sincerely and give you everything you desire. You shall miss nothing at my side and once again I ask for your favor and for your hand, Aruna."

Tensely she had listened to his words and could hardly believe them. Brandon had just proposed to her and she felt dizzy. Aruna thought she was about to keel over.

"I want you to marry me and in a few years become my Lady of Winterfell and the Guardian of the North." Brandon finished the sentence and suddenly everything became so real.

Aruna had imagined a proposal many times before, even one from Brandon. But no proposal had ever been as beautiful in her mind as this one. She nodded slowly at first, then faster and faster. "It would be my honor"

Brandon stood up and took the girl, his girl, tightly in his arms. Happily he kissed her forehead and stroked her cheeks. "You make me the luckiest man in all of Westeros" Brandon then took her hand and put a ring on her finger. It was not traditional, but Aruna was pleased with this small gesture.

" It is beautiful." Aruna looked at Brandon happily and he held her tightly in his arms. "May I kiss you?" the young man asked shyly. Again the girl nodded and she already felt his warm lips on hers.

Aruna returned the kiss of her fiancé. His lips felt so different from Daemon's. She instantly got a guilty conscience, because she should not think now under any conditions!

"Brandon" she breathed as they broke away from each other. "Aruna" he replied with a smile.

They spent the rest of the day together and in the evening they told Princess Rhaenyra and Ser Laenor. Her friend was very happy for them, even if she was sad that her friend would leave her.

Aruna would go with Brandon to Winterfell. In the cold north and become his wife there.

Her brother had reacted very calmly to her engagement. He was happy for his sister, but the upcoming separation was especially hard for him. They had overcome so much together and now he could not even accompany his sister to the north. He had sworn an oath to protect the Queen with his life and the Kingsguard could only do that when they were with Alicent.

To celebrate and honor the young couple, Rhaenyra, against the will of her father Viserys, arranged a banquet a few days later. Rhaenyra and Laenor had taken over the planning of the engagement party and even Laena had happily helped.

As a thanks, Aruna wore a dress in a beautiful red at the feast. The colors of Rhaenyra's house. She was grateful to her friend and wanted to show her in every possible way.

In the small hall, many acquaintances and friends of the crown were present. Aruna and Brandon did not know most of them at all! But the two didn't care, because they were happy.

They had danced together all night. Dined and drank with the unknown guests. The young couple had let themselves celebrate.

"Wait until we get home, then I'll show you what it means to celebrate" Brandon promised her with a grin on his face and kissed her on the forehead afterwards. Aruna took his hand and squeezed it tightly. "I'm excited about that!"

She could hardly imagine how the people in the north celebrated, for those in King's Landing knew how to throw parties.

Slowly, but surely, Aruna was losing her heart to Brandon. He was such a good person and she was really looking forward to marrying him. To a happy life with full love and maybe children?

Aruna rested her head on Brandon's shoulder and enjoyed his closeness. She couldn't wait to be even closer to him soon. Secretly she stole a kiss from Brandon and Laenor, who was sitting next to them, smiled at this.

Then all of a sudden it got quiet as the big double doors were ripped open. None other than Daemon Targaryen entered the room with some of his men.

One thing you had to give him credit for... He had a good appearance.

Aruna stood up from her seat and immediately eye contact formed between Daemon and her. Why was he here again? Aruna had had three peaceful weeks where she hardly had to think about him and now he was walking in here?

Daemon's hair was a little longer than the last time they had met. His armor looked damaged and there was dirt and blood all over his face and body. Shocked, Aruna looked at the man who was coming closer and closer. On his head he wore a broken crown of bones, shards and stones.

He did not break eye contact as he knelt in front of the royal family's table. "I bring you as a gift the crown of an unknown enemy tribe, which I defeated for you." With his words, he took off the strange crown and held it up to her. "I hope you can now forgive me and believe my past words, Lady Aruna."

Now all eyes were on the bride-to-be and she couldn't breathe at that moment. again. She could not believe what Daemon had supposedly done. Aruna had only said that because she was hurt and it was an impossibility.

But she should have realized that nothing was impossible for Daemon.

King Viserys looked at his brother and sighed in annoyance. No one really knew what to say, and Rhaenyra directed Aruna to clarify the matter with a nod of her head. Everyone knew that only Aruna could handle this situation.

Brandon looked at his fiancée as she walked towards the prince. Daemon was still kneeling and holding the crown out to her.

"What is this about? Get up!" she instructed, looking down at him. It was a funny sight. Brandon had also knelt before her only that he wanted to marry her and not because he had killed a group of people. "Aruna..."

"Stand up!" she instructed the Targaryen again, taking his hands to pull him up. In fact, she managed to get Daemon to stand. "What's the fuss about?"

"I did this for you," he explained. She looked at him blankly, uncomfortable with all the attention. Uncomfortable because Daemon was causing the attention. "Daemon you're ruining everything!"

Daemon looked around the hall, looked at his family, and finally looked at Brandon. Slowly he seemed to understand the reason for the celebration. Almost hurt, he turned his gaze to Aruna.

"My congratulations, Lady Stark" he said sarcastically. He then formally thrust the crown into her hands, then turned and left the hall with his entourage.

"Daemon!" King Viserys called after his brother, but the latter proudly strode away.

Aruna looked at the crown in her hands. The spikes bones, prongs and similar had cut into Aruna's hands. As if hypnotized, she saw the blood running over her hands and dripping on the ground.

Desperate, she turned around and looked around in search of help from her friends.

***

oh oh... what do you think?