UNDER MY SKIN

five. javi

“Mama! Dinner’s ready!” Sam shouted as she set the table in the kitchen.

“Just a minute!” Cathy called back, and just as Sam sat at the table her phone rang. A smile tugged at her lips as Big and Rich’s Save a horse, Ride a Cowboy played from the speaker. She knew it was a certain cowboy – he’d set the ringtone himself the last time they had seen each other.

She had also changed his name from Casanova to My Cowboy in her contacts – though not even he knew about that.

She quickly grabbed it from the counter, a smile on her face as she hit the green button and held it to her ear, “hey, cowboy.”

“Oh, baby, it’s good to hear your voice.”

Her brows pinched at the breath of relief that left him, “you okay?”

“Yeah, just…” he took a breath. “Never gets easier.”

A soft smile tugged at her lips as she sank into her chair, “I know, baby. I saw it on the News, looked pretty bad. But y’all are making a real difference in these people’s lives. Just remember that.”

“I know.”

She toyed with her fork for a moment, just listening as he took another shaky breath, “where’re y'all at now? The last one was in Verden, right?”

“Yeah, we’re staying in Chickasha for the night, headed out towards Shawnee tomorrow.”

“Just gettin’ closer and closer.” She hummed, leaning back in her chair.

“Maybe I could convince you to drive out here.”

She grinned, “and why would I do that?”

“Boone misses you.”

She hummed, “well, I miss him, too.”

“Just him?”

She could hear the smirk in his voice, and a smile tugged at her lips, “no. Miss Buck, too.”

He laughed, the sound bringing a smile to her lips. “So, will you come see me?”

“Maybe I could be-” a knock on the door cut her off and she pushed herself up.

“I got it!” Cathy called out, her being closer to the door than Sam.

“Got company?”

“Probably one of the neighbors again.” She told him, leaning back in her chair again. “Mrs. Johnson comes over twice a week just to check-” she trailed off as she looked up at her mama, who made her way into the kitchen with someone two steps behind her. Someone Sam never wanted to see, especially not at her house. “Javi.”

“Hey, Sam. Can we talk?”

She faintly heard shifting on the other end of the line, “baby?”

She blinked a few times, seemingly coming back to her senses, “I - I’m gonna have to call you back.”

“You alright?”

“Yeah, yeah,” she nodded, her eyes on the table. “I - I’m fine. I’ll call in a bit, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” He agreed, but he knew she didn’t sound okay. And that name… she didn’t know the Javi that he knew, she couldn't. But he knew that she had dated a Javi years ago, she’d told him about the boy that had broken her heart.

She had been drunk at the time and she left out many details. But he knew that seeing him again wasn't gonna be easy for her.

The line went dead and she sat her phone on the table, she took a breath and looked up at him once again. He looked the same, mostly. Freckles still blanketed his nose and cheeks, his hair was still curly, though cut shorter than the last time she saw him five years ago.

And she had never once seen him in a white button up, especially not one that he tucked into his pants.

Then there was that smile that tugged at his lips, it was small and apologetic. His eyes were soft, like he couldn't believe that she was in front of him. It had been five years, it all felt surreal.

“What - what are you doin’ here?”

“Now, Sam, that’s no way to talk to our guests." Cathy chided as she put another plate at the table, she knew the boy and all about how he’d just disappeared, but that didn’t mean you just threw common courtesy out the window. “Have a seat, Javi.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Carter,” he smiled before taking a seat, then he looked over at Sam, who still looked like she had seen a ghost. “You look good, Sam. Heard about the accident, glad to see you’re doin’ better.”

“Why are you here, Javi?” She asked again, not really wanting to do the whole small-talk thing. She couldn’t, not with the painful lump in her chest, because even if she had moved on, it still hurt.

“Guess I’ll get right to it…” he mumbled, shifting a little in his chair, then he smiled at Cathy in thanks as she poured him a glass of tea. “I need to get in touch with Kate.”

Sam just hummed, nodded her head as she picked at her fingernails under the table, “she’s not here. Moved to New York.”

“Changed her number, too.” He added with a small chuckle as if trying to lighten the mood.

It didn’t work.

Cathy glanced between the two, sensing the rising tension. Then she pushed herself up, “I think I should let you two talk.” She squeezed Sam’s shoulder lightly as she passed her, then she made her way upstairs, leaving the two in awkward silence.

“Why the sudden need to talk to Kate?” Sam asked almost hesitantly. She didn’t want to know the answer, because she knew that Javi had tried to reach Kate many times over the last five years. A fact she knew because she had made it a point to call Kate every few months, and for the first two years Kate would ask her if Javi called as much as he called her.

He didn’t. He never called Sam.

Not once.

“I started this business, um, StormPAR.” He motioned to the logo on his shirt. “We chase storms, and I have access to technology that can help us predict the patterns of these storms.”

“Kate doesn’t chase. Not anymore.”

“I know, I just… I need her help. No one else can get me in front of one of these storms the way she can.”

“Well, sorry to disappoint, but she barely calls home. Just this morning, Mama called her and she didn’t answer. So, good luck.”

“Come on, Sam,” he sighed.

“What do you want me to say, Javi?”

“I need this. I need Kate’s help.”

“Yeah, well, I needed my boyfriend five-years-ago. Sometimes things just don’t work out. It's disappointin’, but it's life.”

He physically winced, like she had hit him and the tears in her eyes just made him feel so much worse.

“I had just lost three of my best friends-”

“I lost them, too, Javi. I lost my dog. And Kate may have survived, but she hasn’t been the same since. And my boyfriend, the only person that I wanted – needed just vanished. I never got a call, never got a text. You were just gone.”

She hated that she was crying, even more so that she was crying in front of him.

“I’m sorry, Sam. I really am. I just… I didn’t know how to be there for you and grieve. I couldn’t do it. I was a kid. It was too much.”

She just nodded, wiping her cheeks.

He took a breath, this was definitely not how he saw this going. But he should’ve known better, because despite the fact that he knew he was never in love with her, he knew that she had been in love with him. He could see it in the way she looked at him… the way she used to look at him.

“Please, Sam. I really need this. My company kinda depends on the data we get, but I can’t get in front of a tornado. And I’ve tried, I’ve been trying for weeks and my investor is getting impatient. If I don’t get this data, he could pull his investment and I really need the money he’s putting in.”

At that moment, Sam hated that she was such a good person. She hated that her mother had raised her right. She hated that despite the fact that looking at Javi made her stomach twist, he had somehow convinced her to go to New York with him.

But at least when she called Tyler, he made her smile. And even though he was a little upset – okay, a lot upset – that he wouldn’t be able to see her as soon as he had hoped, he was supportive of the fact that she wanted to visit her sister.

>>>>> • <<<<<

It was awkward.

It had been awkward since Sam packed up and climbed into that passenger seat of Javi's truck – which was decked out in storm chasing gear. The StromPAR logo was even emblazoned on the side, and the tailgate read Lion.

It was even awkward on the plane. Sam had merely put her earbuds in and listened to music, she even pretended to be asleep when Javi tapped her shoulder. It had been to see if she wanted a drink, but still.

The only time Sam didn't feel completely awkward was when she sat in one of the chairs in the conference room where Kate worked. A smile even tugged at her lips as she opened the message Tyler had sent, it was just pictures of Buck.

In one, he looked like he was smiling. In another, he was propped up against the door of the truck, his front leg laying across it and his eyes were squinted against the sun. In the next, he had a stuffed duck hanging from his mouth. And in the last one, Tyler's old baseball cap sat on his head and his tongue hung out of his mouth, it looked like he was smiling.

She quickly sent a heart emoji, absently spinning in the chair. And Javi just watched her, she looked a little out of place in her bright peach colored, button up Columbia shirt, her blue jeans and her boots – though to her credit, she had worn her nicest pair.

She'd barely spoken two words to him since she agreed to join him. And though he deserved it, he didn't like it.

They had been friends before he had asked her out, and he just wanted that back. She had been one of his favorite people, even if he was never in love with her.

“Hey, I-”

“Hi, I’m Kate.”

They two turned, Sam smiling as she looked up at her younger sister, “doesn't recognize her own sister, such a shame. But it has been a year.”

“Sam,” Kate smiled at her, making her way towards her as she pushed herself up. “Has it really been…” she trailed off, because she knew it had been. It had been a year, give or take a couple weeks, since Sam's accident.

And that was the last time Kate had made it back home.

“You look good,” she remarked as she pulled back. “How's the shoulder?”

“A lot better, had to do some PT, get back in fightin’ shape, but it's good. I'm good, Katie.”

Kate smiled, pulling her back into a hug, making the older girl chuckle as she squeezed her sister – she hadn't been able to the last time she saw her.

Javi stood there, shifting on his feet, and trying to calm his nerves. It was his first time seeing Kate in five years, and though seeing Sam hurt a lot more… he was happy to see Kate again. Even if she had dyed her hair blonde.

“What are-” Kate pulled back, her words trailing off when she saw Javi in the corner of the room.

She wasn't sure which was more mind boggling, the fact that he and Sam were together or the fact that he wore a suite.

“Javi.”

“Hey, Kate,” he smiled, an emotion swimming in his eyes that Sam couldn't quite place.

All she knew was that Javi had never once looked at her the way he had looked at Kate.

NOVA SPEAKS

sam and tyler own my heart!

and the plan was definitely for javi and kate to end up together, but javi is turning out to be a jerk... let me know what y'all think i should do cause i'm struggling!