AS MIDNIGHT APPROACHED, Charlus found himself wide awake. One by one everyone had gone off to bed, leaving him the only one unable to sleep. Perhaps after six years, it was difficult for Charlus to fall asleep with ease, unlike his teenage years where he could come up with any excuse to take a nap. His mind buzzed like an angry hornets' nest with hundreds of thoughts and scenarios playing themselves out.  Even if his plan was unsuccessful, Charlus made one promise to himself and the others; no one was going to Azkaban.

He especially couldn't allow Sirius to go back to Azkaban, seeing just how much the place had taken a toll on his husband's mental health. Every night since they had arrived at Maeve's flat, Sirius was plagued by horrible nightmares that caused him to cry out into the night. No matter how tight Charlus held onto him and whispered reassuring words to soothe him, it wasn't enough. The night before Charlus was left with a bloody lip temporarily as Sirius lashed out when Charlus' hand touched him, hoping to get him to stop.

Believing it was the touch of dementor, Sirius was only trying to protect himself and ended up punching Charlus in the mouth. And when he woke up to Charlus' painful yelp, he began apologising until he was in tears. No matter how many times Charlus reassured him that it was fine and not a big deal, Sirius continued to cry until he cried himself to sleep once again.  He hated seeing Sirius in such a state because it was one of the things he had feared the most.

Sirius had been traumatised during his time in Azkaban and even though he tried to look perfectly fine during the day, the nights revealed just how much his time there still haunted him.

And if things weren't bad enough, there was such an awkward air about the home whenever Sirius and Remus were in the same room. When Maeve or Charlus was around, the two did their best to remain civil, but it was clear that Sirius still partially blamed Remus for his prison sentence. No one could dictate how Sirius was supposed to feel in those moments, Charlus wanted to tell them both to get over it, but it was easier said than done.

But sometimes it got to the point where Charlus found himself wanting to turn to James and ask for advice. James had always been the mother hen of the group and always seemed to come up with a solution whenever there was tension among his friends. However, there was the painful reminder that James wasn't there for Charlus to call upon.

Closing his eyes in attempts to force himself to sleep just a little bit, Charlus had only been still for a few moments when he felt the bed shaking. Lifting his head up and rolling over, he could see Sirius' jerking around in his sleep.

Another nightmare.

Slowly reaching his arm around Sirius' waist, Charlus brought him in closer to his body. And while he couldn't hear the sounds of Sirius' crying, he could feel the heaving movement of his sobs and the warmth of his tears. He tried to hold onto him tightly but it only seemed to make Sirius fight him more to escape being touched. After taking several elbows to the chest, Charlus released him, feeling completely short of breath as he rolled out of the bed.

The sound of his body collapsing on the hardwood floor brought Sirius to jump awake and noting that Charlus wasn't in bed, sent him into a panic to investigate. Looking over the side of the bed where Charlus was gasping for air, Sirius was up on his feet, ready to tend to him. But as soon as he reached out to him, Charlus placed his hand up, motioning him to leave him be.

Of course, all the commotion from the room had startled Maeve awake, as well as Remus as they ventured out of their respective rooms to see what was going on. As they entered the bedroom, Maeve took note of Charlus on the floor and hurried over to him.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Charlus suddenly snapped at her. "I don't need your help! I don't need anyone's help!"

The scene fell silent as Charlus pushed himself up from the floor and snatched his wand up from the nightstand before walking away. Remus was about to go after him when they all heard the door to the bathroom slam close.

"It's my fault," Sirius sighed as he fell to the floor and sat like a hopeless puppy, " I'm driving him mad. He's not getting any sleep because of these damn nightmares I've been having. And I've been hurting him."

"I can mix you a stronger sleeping draught," Maeve told him as she offered her hand to get him up off the floor. " I think I'll mix some for Charlus as well. I know he's not sleeping but I don't think it's only because of you, Sirius. He's been under a lot of stress since waking up. The Ministry hasn't been making his recovery easy for him. They should be ashamed of themselves! If he would just tell us how we could help, I'm sure it would unload some of the pressure."

"Charlus isn't going to do that," Remus interjected, " it's not like him. Even if you couldn't tell James and Charlus apart by their appearance, you could always tell them apart with how they carried themselves. James never had a problem saying what was on his mind, especially when we were all younger. He wore his emotions well, whereas, Charlus was always the reserved one."

"Remus is right," Sirius said sitting on the bed, " I love him, but he's a stubborn arse sometimes. Maybe, in the beginning, he let you help him because he didn't have much of a choice, but the more he regains his strength, he's going to fight your help.  He doesn't like troubling others with his problems because he thinks it makes him look weak."

"Why would he think that?"

"Well, it's because when he was younger, their parents coddled James and Charlus. But they were far more protective of Charlus because he was deaf. Euphemia never meant any harm by it, quite the opposite, but she would treat him almost as if he was helpless. It made Charlus push himself constantly to show that he was perfectly capable of doing anything, even if he couldn't hear. That's why he came up with all those spells to improve his speech and master lip-reading."

Maeve frowned. "That's actually really sad. He pushed himself so much so that others could be comfortable but what about him? It's not healthy for him to bottle up his feelings just for the sake of not looking weak."

"It's part of the Potter breed, Maeve," Sirius chuckled lightly, " they're stubborn, petty, and they'll drive you absolutely mad, but it's for those same reasons that you end up loving them. Anyways, I'll go check on him."

Approaching the bathroom, Sirius didn't bother with knocking as he slowly cracked open the door to see if Charlus was alright. But as soon as he took a good look around, he could see that Charlus was gone.

It was absolutely freezing in Godric's Hollow, but Charlus didn't care as he trudged through the fresh snow that had fallen recently in the village. He made his way to the graveyard and began his search for his brother's and sister-in-law's grave. However, he didn't have to look long as James' and Lily's gravesite was beside Euphemia's and Fleamont's plot. As soon as he was close enough to touch the tombstone, Charlus collapsed to his knees before it.

"The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death," he read off the stone before placing his hand over James' name.

"Hi James, I'm sorry it took me so long to come and visit you. I guess I just wasn't ready before, I know, I'm a little git. But I couldn't bring myself to accept that you're not here with me anymore. I broke my promise to you. We were supposed to reunite after all this was over, but....but I wasn't strong enough. I couldn't fight off the Death Eaters when they came. You were right not to make me the Secret-Keeper. I wish I had been stronger for you to pick me instead of Peter. I'm so sorry."

It didn't take Charlus long before the tears streamed down his face. The frigid air nearly froze the tears to his cheeks but he didn't bother to wipe them away.

"Mother was right to worry over me because, in the end, I'm not as capable as the rest of you. I couldn't hear the Death Eaters coming, I left myself open to their attack. It doesn't matter how well I speak or how well I can lip-read, I'm always going to be at a disadvantage. I'm trying to be strong, but at the same time, I feel so hopeless some days. I can't even get Sirius and Remus on good terms with each other. I know if you were here they'd listen to you. Who is going to listen to me-"

Suddenly, Charlus' wand started sparking violently to the point where he dropped it from his other hand into the snow. He watched as the green sparks flashed in the darkness of the night.

Green for familiar.

"James?"

Another spark erupted before the wand fell still. It seemed James was tired of his brother throwing a pity party for himself. The Potters were proud folk and whatever Charlus was spewing from his mouth was complete nonsense.

"I'm sorry," Charlus said, "you're right. I'm just tired and it seems we can't catch a break. I woke up to find you and Lily gone, Sirius in Azkaban, and Harry is with the Dursleys of all people. I got Sirius out of prison, but I can't comfort him and he and Remus can't stand being around each other, which is only stressing him out even more. I'm trying to get to Harry but the Ministry keeps getting in the way. I stepped on a lot of toes to get to Sirius but...."

Tracing over James' name and then Lily's, Charlus paused for a moment.

"But I'm not going to give up because I know you would never give up. I know I didn't keep my promise about meeting up after the war was over, but I'll keep the promise I made to you the day Harry was born. When you asked Sirius and me to be his godfathers, I promised that I would do anything for Harry, even lay down my life for him. That hasn't changed. I'll get him away from the Dursleys no matter what. And once he's in my care, I'll make sure he is the happiest child ever. You thought Mum and Dad spoiled us, I'll spoil him twice as much. You have my word."

There was another green spark that brought Charlus to smile, believing he had his brother's approval.

"And Lily, I wanted to let you know that Marmalade is doing well. She enjoys her mornings sunbathing in the windows at Maeve's flat. I'll take good care of her too for you. And when I see the Dursleys, I'll have a nice chat with Petunia for you."

Another green spark.

"And yes, I'll add a kick in there for Vernon. Maybe two."

Charlus tucked himself between the graves of his parents and his brother.

"It's been so hard accepting that you all are gone, even though I can feel you around me sometimes. Like nights like this. I know you're here with me. But other days... Even having Sirius, Remus, and Maeve, I feel so alone and I can't tell them that. I just want to stay here a little longer with you all."

Pulling his robes tighter around his body, Charlus' rested his head against his mother's side of the tombstone, pretending he was resting against her shoulder as he closed his eyes.