t w e n t y - s e v e n
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𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲-𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧: 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞
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Jones' feet pound against the grassy terrain. He pushes his legs harder and faster so that he can get as far away from the ruins that lay behind him. The wind whips at his face, tearing into his eyes so hard that he begins to feel them go glassy.
Or is he just upset about the life that was lost only a mere two minutes ago?
He will admit that he did not like Allie Williams. If anything, he absolutely despised her. But he didn't hate her because she was a woman or because she was better than him. He hated her because she was the physical reminder of the pain and torture that he experienced when he was imprisoned at HYDRA.
She was the person that had locked him away in that wretched cell, sentencing him to that life of misery.
Every time that he looked at her, he was reminded of the cold months of incarceration. All the labor that he was forced to do, all the pain that he had to bear just to survive.
He knew that it wasn't her fault, she was just doing what she had to do to survive. But his brain just didn't want to accept that. She had caused too much pain. Too many bad memories
He even saw her in some of his nightmares, when he was forced to relive the worst moments of his life.
But now, as he runs back to the rest of the team, he doesn't know what to tell them.
It is his fault. He is the reason that she is dead.
All because he didn't stay back and help her out. Because he didn't stop her from sacrificing herself for him.
So he runs.
And as much as he wants to just run away from the confrontation that he knows he is about to have, he runs to their designated rendezvous spot. Not at all ready to see the effect of his actions on the rest of his team.
He rushes through the dense greenery, pushing the low-hanging branches that dangle down in front of him away. He doesn't attempt to be quiet as he runs because he would actually be somewhat grateful if he is found before he even reaches the group.
But alas, nobody stops him before he rejoins the rest of his team.
Ahead of him, he spots the clearing with all the men gathered around in a small circle, waiting for him and Allie. He slows down to a slow jog, not hurrying towards the group like he normally would.
Steve turns his head first, noticing that Jones is all by himself. His shoulders immediately drop and he sucks in a shallow breath, feeling his throat constrict as he realizes what has happened. He doesn't even know how or what happened but she hasn't returned, which can only mean one thing.
Jones' feet falter as he sees Dum Dum turn. Then Dernier. Then Morita. Then Falsworth. All having that same look in their eyes. All having the hope that resided in their eyes dissipate into a look of sadness.
And then Bucky turns.
Jones is only a couple of feet away from the group now and he can clearly see the look of pure despair in Bucky's crystal orbs. His shoulders drop even lower than Steve's and his lips part to let out an inaudible gasp.
"Where is she?" Bucky questions and takes a step closer to Jones who has stopped and stares guiltily back at the man. Jones knows that he has to tell Bucky. He has to tell Bucky that the one thing that he loved most in the world is dead.
"S-She..." He stutters, not able to push those dreaded words past his lips. He quickly averts his eyes to the ground in shame. And in that moment, fury completely overtakes Bucky's eyes.
With one quick stride, Bucky has his hands clenched on Jones' jacket as his anger swiftly overwhelms all his grief and logic. This is a rage that he has never felt before. A rage that only comes when you feel such a magnitude of loss that all those around are unexempt from its scorn.
"Where the fuck is she!" He shouts, unleashing all his anger without a single thought of its consequences. His jaw clenches as Jones looks up to Bucky, unable to wipe the guilty look from his face.
"She got shot and then the bomb went off and... and it was just too late." He stammers and he sees Bucky grow even angrier at every word that tumbles from his lips. "I'm so so sorry." He whispers despite knowing that Bucky doesn't care for his sympathies.
"You were supposed to protect her! You fucking let her die!" Bucky snarls as his fists tighten around the cloth of Jones' shirt. His face contorts into one that none of them had ever seen him wear before. Not even Steve had seen this look on Bucky.
"No! No, I didn't!" Jones' stammers, shaking his head. But Bucky just lets his anger grow.
"Then why didn't you get her out, huh? Why didn't you save her!" He shouts, completely enraged. That was his doll, his girl that Jones failed to protect. That Jones let die.
Jones' eyes drop back down to the ground and he quickly tries to gulp down his nervousness. "She uh- she..." He stutters which makes Bucky even angrier. His eyes are alight with a wildfire of rage, ready to destroy everything in its path.
"She what?" He shouts. His knuckles begin to turn white as he clenches his hands around Jones' shirt.
"She told me to go and she held off the HYDRA soldiers so that I-" He forces out but is quickly shut up by Bucky who lets go of Jones and abruptly shoves him backwards.
"So you fucking left her! You left her! " Bucky roars as Jones barely manages to stop himself from falling onto the ground. Bucky looks almost animalistic as he strides over and gets right up into Jones' face.
Despite Bucky's vision blurring at the edges, he can clearly make out the look on Jones' face. A look of fear.
Bucky can't stop the rage that's festering in his brain, because every time he tries to calm down he thinks of Allie. The one person that could calm him down is gone.
She is dead.
"No, she saved me! But I should have stayed there and helped her and I'm sorry- " Jones begins to say again but is cut off by Bucky.
"But you didn't stay. She could be alive right now but you let her die!" He snarls, letting the memories of her fuel his anger.
Every single member of the team stands back and watches Bucky act with this never seen before emotion. This no longer looks like anger. He looks purely vengeful.
And that is an emotion that they have never seen him feel before.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry." Jones shouts, his eyes watering as he realizes the mistake he made in holding onto his grudge with Allie and leaving her to die. These are the repercussions that he has to face for his actions.
He has to be the one to face Bucky's wrath. To face the wrath of the one person who loved her the most.
"Sorry doesn't bring her back!" Bucky screams and sends his fist into Jones' face. Jones collapses onto the dark grass below him because of the sheer power of his punch. Ruby red liquid seeps from his more than likely broken nose and he doesn't even have time to throw his hands up in defense before Bucky throws another punch aiming at his face.
Bucky immediately jumps on top of Jones and sends fist after fist pounding into his face. The flames of his anger rise up through his chest and crawl through his veins, powering every single hit that he sends towards Jones.
And with every punch that Bucky throws, he sees Allie's face. A memory of her. A memory of them. Memories that plague his mind and provide the much-needed ammunition for his anger.
She's gone. And Jones was the one who should have been protecting her.
The team is shocked by his actions but they all quickly snap out of it. Steve sprints over to Bucky and swiftly pulls him of Jones, who is a bloody mess on the ground. "Bucky!" Steve shouts as Bucky pulls and pulls to get out of Steve's grip, to go back and make Jones pay.
"Hey, Bucky. Stop!" Dum Dum orders as he goes over and restrains Bucky's other arm that was trying to pry himself from Steve's grip. A guttural cry pushes past his chapped lips as he pulls with all his might to get free.
Jones is slowly coaxed up into a sitting position and he turns to expel the blood from his mouth onto the dark green grass. He then looks back over to Bucky and he can't help but let a single tear fall from his now black eye. "I'm sorry, Bucky. I truly am."
But seeing Jones cry just makes Bucky even madder."No! You don't get to cry!" He shouts angrily. If anyone gets to cry it is him. Not Jones. Not the man who left her to die. Not the man who openly despised her. "You don't get to!"
"Stop crying!" He roars, pulling desperately away from Steve.
"Bucky!" Steve growls and quickly pulls him over to a more secluded area of the forest, not too far from the rest of the team. He almost has to drag Bucky who desperately tries to go back. He doesn't even know what he would do if he did go back and no one stopped him. Could he kill Jones? Or would he leave him in the same amount of pain that he feels right now?
They make their way through the dark woods as Steve pulls Bucky who frantically digs his heels into the ground and refuses to move.
Once Steve thinks that they are out of earshot, he puts his hand gently on Bucky's shoulder and gives him a sorrowful look.
"Buck..." He trails off, understanding the pain that he is going through. Allie was a friend to him too. And as much as he wants to break down and cry, he knows that he has to be strong for Bucky. Because Bucky is going through enough pain for both of them.
And that pain quickly becomes too much for him to bear.
"Allie's gone, Steve." He whispers as he collapses to his feet. "She's really gone." And with those words, his entire world collapsed. The beautiful windows that led to his soul break and become sharp shards of glass that pierce his heart, making it bleed for its other half. The once bright light of his world becomes dark and dull. And all the beauty that he used to see in the world has disappeared in an instant.
Nothing has ever prepared him for this. For losing the love of his life.
Nothing has prepared him for the anger that he feels. For the sadness, the despair or the agony. All these emotions bundled up and presented to him like he won some grand prize.
He had treasured her like she was the finest piece of gold that he would ever hold. But now all he has is memories. Memories that make the pain feel, oh, so much more painful.
"She's gone."
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The plane ride back to London is filled with palpable tension. Bucky and Jones are deliberately sitting at opposite ends of the plane, separated by the rest of the team who are anticipating another fight to break out.
Bucky is sitting next to Steve who is watching him anxiously. Bucky had yet to utter a single word since he broke down in the forest. He had wept for the girl that he lost and Steve sat with him while he cried, offering physical comfort instead of verbal comfort.
But after a few minutes, he got himself back up, wiped the tears from his face and then marched over to the plane as if nothing happened.
He refuses to talk to anyone and keeps his eyes trained on the small window that is on the opposite side of the plane, watching the fluffy, white clouds fly past.
She should be here, sitting next to him.
Their hands should be entwined as he whispers little jokes into her ear, rejoicing when he hears the melodious sound of her laughter that falls from her lips. He should be able to gently twist the ends of her long, chocolate hair around his calloused fingers and see the small smile that pulls at her perfectly pink lips as a result of the action.
He should be able to pull her into a kiss and swoon because he is completely in love with her, and she is completely in love with him.
But she's dead.
She's gone and now he's here, left to deal with all the heartache and pain. Left to grieve over the memories that he'll never be able to relive again.
He's left in a world without her. And that's a world that he doesn't want to be a part of.
But he has to because she is never coming back.
But while these thoughts run rampant around his head, Steve sits by his side grieving for the same woman. Steve and Allie were not a close as he and Bucky were, but they were still friends.
It had been almost a year ago when Allie helped Steve free all those soldiers from that base in Austria. From her home. He had admired her strength, her courage and her ability to persevere despite being surrounded by horrors for so long.
She was the one who gave Howard the location of the base and she was the one to help Steve find Bucky. But what really impressed him was that she was not afraid of HYDRA finding out that she was working against them. She was willing to die because she knew that she was doing the right thing.
And that is what she died doing. She died doing the right thing.
But he is going to miss her. He is going to miss all her witty comments, her unwavering resilience and the fun little spars that they would occasionally have. He always enjoyed training with her because despite all the crap that she got for being a woman, she showed everyone that she could beat anyone that she was put up against. She pushed him to be a better fighter and a better captain.
And more often than not, those spars would end up with the two of them on the floor aimlessly chatting. She loved to hear about Steve's childhood and what growing up in Brooklyn was like. It made her smile hearing about all of the trouble that Bucky and him got up to and she would laugh when he brought up how Bucky would always try to set him up with dames that only wanted to be with Bucky.
The corner of her eyes crinkled as she let the laughter tumble from her lips. She would then turn to him, a gleam in her warm chocolate eyes, and say that "they missed out on one very special man. And if they couldn't see that, they weren't worth it anyway."
Although Steve didn't know Allie like Bucky did, he still lost one of his friends. He failed to protect her as her captain and as her friend. Her death is on him, and now he has to go and tell Peggy and Howard why she didn't return.
Before long, the plane begins its descent into the U.S airstrip in London. The plane shakes and rumbles as it slowly touches down on the blackened landing and the second that the doors are pushed open, the entire team rushes out silently to go back to their apartments. Everyone except Bucky and Steve.
"C'mon Buck," Steve says to Bucky, who still remains in his seat staring out the window. "It's time to go."
Silently, Bucky pushes himself up from the seat and moves towards Steve. He keeps his gaze trained on the floor and he clasps his hands together to stop them from shaking.
"Can you tell them?" He whispers, trying to disguise the slight tremble of his voice. He knows that he doesn't have it in him to tell Peggy or Howard that they lost her. That they lost the one person who brought so much happiness and joy to their lives.
"Of course, Buck," Steve answers, nodding his head. Bucky looks up briefly, his eyes teary with a broken look in them, and nods back in gratitude.
The two quickly disembark the plane and see a smiling Howard waiting for them which makes Steve sigh as he holds back his own tears. They continue towards him with Bucky blatantly avoiding everyone's gaze.
"Hey what's up guys! Why are you all so gloomy?" Howard shouts gleefully and pats Steve on the shoulder.
Then he realizes that only two of his friends came off the plane instead of the usual three.
"Where's Allie?" He questions, his happy face immediately dropping into one of concern. Bucky audibly chokes back the tears that threaten to fall from his eyes and he focuses his gaze back down to his feet.
Steve takes a deep breath before he shakes his head at Howard who immediately understands. He staggers back a few steps and his dark eyes go wide as he realizes that his best friend is gone.
"No, she can't be..." He gasps and squeezes his eyes shut to stop the tears from falling. He feels pain clutch at his heart and confusion worm its way into his thoughts. Because how could the woman that he only saw a few hours ago be dead?
He opens his eyes again, showcasing a broken look that is mirrored in Steve and Bucky's eyes as well. "What happened?" He gulps, dreading the answer.
Just hearing them say her name is too much for Bucky right now. Each conversation reminds him of the loss that he is enduring. Reminding him of the pain that numbs his heart.
So he quickly turns on his heels and runs. He runs into the harsh winter winds that whip at his defeated face. He lets the hot tears fall from his eyes, falling fast and thick down his dirty skin. He lets the pain rip a hole into his heart. Tearing into the heart that belonged to Allie.
And as he runs, Steve can't help but helplessly watch on, knowing that there is no way to alleviate this type of loss.
With a melancholic sigh, he turns back to Howard who looks at him pleadingly. Begging Steve to tell him that this is some horrible prank and that Allie will jump out from behind him to get him back for one of the million things that he did to torment her.
But as much as he wishes that it were true, he knows that she is gone.
"She was with Jones and she got shot badly. She told him to run and held the rest of the soldiers off while he got out." Steve tells him, swallowing down the grief that threatens to push past his lips in the form of a sob.
"No..." Howard sighs as he shakes his head in disbelief.
"Bucky's heartbroken. I've never seen him as bad as this before." Steve tells him, shaking his head as he thinks about all the pain that Bucky must be feeling. Losing someone is never easy and losing Allie must feel like he lost apart of himself.
"Yeah, but at least she went out knowing that she died for something. She died protecting Bucky and the team. She died knowing that she saved Jones." Howard says, wiping at his red eyes that are holding back an endless stream of tears.
"She died a hero," Steve declares with a forlorn expression covering his usually gleeful face.
Then they hear the familiar clinking of a pair of heels making their way towards them. With a knowing sigh, they turn around and see a chipper Peggy Carter who has obviously not heard the news yet.
Her ruby red lips are pulled up into a smirk and her bright amber eyes are set on the two of them, not noticing the grim looks on their faces.
"Stark, Rogers, how was the mission?" She chirps as she approaches the men who look at each other in a not so discrete fashion. Her brows in confusion as she notices the two men debate whether or not if now is the best time to tell her the news which makes her feel slightly anxious about what they have to say.
They know that she will obviously be devastated once she hears that her friend is dead. And with lots of people around, they think that it will be best if they take her somewhere else where she won't have to worry about being judged.
But they both know that Peggy deserves to know the truth and that she can handle herself. She is not a child and she would more than likely kill them if she finds out that they were trying to put it off for as long as possible.
Howard turns his gaze down to the ground and he wipes away his tears while Steve sighs and prepares himself to tell Peggy that her best friend is dead.
"Allie uh- Allie didn't make it."
Peggy's mouth drops open at his words and she stares at him in silence. She blinks a few times before her shocked expression turns into one of anger. "Please tell me that this is a failed attempt at a joke Rogers."
Steve shakes his head dejectedly and looks at her with sorrow in his now not so bright blue eyes. "I wish I was." He laments.
"What the hell happened?" She questions, still not believing that Allie is gone.
This isn't any ordinary soldier that died, this is Allie. And someone with her skillset is extremely hard to kill.
"She sacrificed herself to save Jones." Steve murmurs as he looks up into Peggy's eyes and sees her doubt.
"No... No, she didn't." Peggy says, almost as if she is trying to convince herself that Allie isn't dead. "She's alive"
Howard places a gentle hand on her shoulders, not bothering to hide the tears that stream from his eyes. "She's gone Peg." He tells her and Peggy just shakes her head at him, choosing not to believe that she has lost another person that she loved.
"No, she's not! She can't be." She growls in defiance.
Howard sighs and takes a step closer to Peggy, forcing her to look up at him. "Peggy, c'mon let's uh... Let's go back to your room yeah?" He says calmly, noticing that they are now receiving stares from the other soldiers around them.
But Peggy can't accept it. She can't afford to lose another person. "Don't tell me what to do!" She yells before turning to Steve, her eyes alight with denial. "Where's Bucky?"
Steve shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know, but it's probably best that he gets some alone time for a while. None of us can possibly understand what he is going through." He answers and with that, Peggy storms off to go do god knows what.
Howard turns back to Steve with a sigh and he pats him on the shoulder, knowing that he is probably finding a way to blame this on himself despite not having anything to do with it. "I'm really sorry Steve, I know that you two were close. She always spoke so highly of you and she felt like you were her brother." He informs him.
Steve smiles sadly at his words and he nods. "Thanks Howard, she loved you too ya know."
"Yeah," Howard exhales, "I loved her as well." He says as he remembers all the good times that he had with her. "We all did."
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Hey guys, thanks for reading and I hope that you enjoyed the chapter!
I just wanted to say a HUGE thank you to 2,000 of you!!!! Honestly, that's sooo beyond AMAZING and I can't believe that we've even reached this point!! I didn't believe that I would get any reads and now I'm at 2,000! Wow!
But, let's talk about Endgame. Don't worry, I'm not going to spoil anything for those who haven't watched it yet.
Feel free to skip all this if you really want to avoid everything about Endgame.
I don't think I've ever cried more in a movie before. It was all types of tears, happy ones, sad ones, angry ones, and everything in between. But as much as it pained me to watch it, I am happy with the way it ended.
I remember the day that my dad and I watched the first Iron Man and I remember how much I loved Tony Stark, even when I was younger. He has always been a good person who has had bad things happen to him and has made mistakes. But haven't we all? And then watching every other hero follow him, made me realize how much I admired these fictional characters, and how much they affected me despite not being tangible.
And now reflecting back on the 21 movies pre-Endgame, I am happy with the way that they left things. As you all would probably know, there were character deaths, and they were completely devastating to watch but we all knew that it was coming. But I still wouldn't change the ending so that they could live. It was a poetic and beautiful end to the Avengers journey.
But saying that, there are a few moments that I felt disappointed with. I feel that those moments could have been done better and I do hope that they will be talked about more in upcoming Marvel films. I obviously won't say what moments they were, but I feel that those who have watched the movie would probably know what I'm talking about.
Onto the questions,
1. What did you think of the chapter?
2. What do you think is going to happen next?
3. How do you feel about Endgame? (for those who have watched it)
4. Where do you think the MCU will go from here?
Also, feel free to send me a DM if you want to talk about Endgame, I need a good ranting!
- Grace xx
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