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GHOSTS
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HOLLIE COULD FEEL THE TENSION IN THE AIR. It was thick and suffocating and she wasn't sure if the Doctor felt it too. Of course, he didn't, she thought bitterly. He was an idiot. An idiot in a box, not a madman—an idiot.

Almost as soon as Sarah Jane and Jo had left, the Doctor headed straight under the console, as if that was his plan all along, he didn't even say a word to her as he did it, like he always had for months.

She could hear the familiar sounds of wires sparking and tools clattering as he worked on whatever needed fixing, while she just stood there, rooted to the spot.

Hollie couldn't bring herself to move. The thoughts that were swirling in her mind were too overwhelming, pulling her into a spiral of doubt and fear. An unsettling sickness churned in the pit of her stomach, her throat felt dry, and her hands were clammy. Meanwhile, the Doctor was completely engrossed in his work, seemingly oblivious to the the chaos going on inside her. While he tinkered under the console, she stood there with sweat beading on her brow and a pounding heart in her chest.

While she thought he hadn't noticed, he did. Of course, he did. Yes, he was an idiot but he was no fool. He tried to focus on the task at hand and hoped she'd disappear off into the TARDIS like usual. Maybe she'll go and paint the old battlefield? He thought to himself, but, she didn't she remained still and he could practically feel her eyes watching him through the back of her head. What are you thinking? He wondered. What do you want?

"Doctor—" Her voice cracked, barely more than a hoarse whisper but it sharply sliced the silence between them like a hot knife through butter.

He stopped what he was doing and looked up through the glass flooring of the console room, his brow furrowed in confusion. "Yes?"

"Something's been bothering me," she managed to say, her voice shaky, she was nervous.

And he thought to himself: Why was she nervous? He wanted to ask her, he really did but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Oh?" He let go of the wires he had been messing with and stood up. Something was wrong.

She shifted uncomfortably under his gaze as he climbed the stairs from under the console and walked towards her. "I've been thinking... about what Jo said."

His frown deepened, and he shoved his hands into his pockets, leaning against the console. "What did Jo say?" he asked, genuinely puzzled.

She let out a dry, humourless laugh, her eyes rolling involuntarily. Of course, he wouldn't remember. Why would he? "She told us how she left you," she began, softly. "How you promised to come back one day. But you never did."

The Doctor winced slightly as he recalled the conversation that had clearly struck a nerve with her. "Hollie, that was different. She left—"

"But you didn't go back," she cut in sharply, her words like a knife through his hearts. She stepped towards him, her emotions bubbling to the surface. "You dropped her off and promised her that you'd come back, but you never did. Are you going to do that to me?"

His gaze finally met hers, and she saw a mix of sadness and regret in his eyes. "Hollie, I would never—"

"Then why does it feel like you've already kicked me out?" she countered, her voice soft but laced with pain. The Doctor wasn't sure what was worse—her words or the gentle way she spoke them.

He knew she was right. Deep down he truly knew that she was Hollie Aria, his beautiful and absolutely amazing Holliaet Aria, his rescuer, but, no matter how many times he looked at her, however many times he tried to bring himself to get close to her again he was reminded of the Pandorica and her broken body because of him.

He tried to be selfish for once, to... care about someone but the universe wasn't happy with him. The Doctor didn't deserve to be happy and Hollie Aria had paid the price.

"I've told you before, it feels like you're avoiding me," she whispered, closing her eyes to fight back the tears. "I've really tried to be patient, to understand, but you're confusing me, Doctor. You take me away on these adventures, but then, when you see your old companions, I'm almost invisible to you. Like you don't care and I don't exist, like I'm just... there, a spare part, and it hurts." She swallowed hard, the tears stinging her eyes. "It hurts so damn much."

"Stop it." He suddenly snapped, his eyes meeting her filled with anger, harsher than he ever intended to be. She stared at him in shock as his hands tightened into fists and his jaw clenched. "Hollie, stop it."

"Stop what?" She questioned, challenging him with crossed arms and a raised voice. He honestly should have seen it coming because that was the thing about Hollie Aria, she wasn't afraid to confront him. "Telling the truth?" She stared back at him. "Do you think this is easy for me, Doctor? Do you think I want to feel like this? To be ignored while you say you 'just needed' them? To be looked at like I'm nothing?"

"That is not what I meant." He growled angrily at her, stepping closer to the blonde woman he was looking down on. "You think I don't care? You think I'm not trying to protect you?"

"Protect me?" She scoffed, backing away from him with a shake of her head as she threw her hands in the air. "What are you protecting me from?" She suddenly snapped, moving to stand in front of him to glare at him face on. "What exactly is there right now to protect me from? You?" She scoffed. "Because that's all it feels like, Doctor. Like you're trying to protect me from yourself."

His breathing was heavy as he stared at her before his features slackened as everything around him seemed to fade into numbness. Again, he thought. She was right again, always and completely right. And it hit him, hard, because while he had subconsciously pushed her away and kept his distance to protect her, to make sure he didn't hurt her again, it had done the complete opposite and it only took them to fight one another to realise how much he had hurt his Hollie Aria. The woman who was supposed to rescue him wasn't able to rescue him from his biggest enemy: himself.

It had to stop. He had to stop.

He ran a hand through his hair and let out a deep sigh, one he hadn't realised he'd been holding and she stared at him, the tension between them grew stronger the longer his silence went on, she could see his mind working, his eyes flickering slightly over the console, whether it was to distract himself from her gaze or to try to help him think, she wasn't sure because there was a time she could almost read him perfectly, but now? Now she had no idea what was behind those ancient green eyes of his.

"You're right," he finally said in a quiet tone, his voice barely audible.

Hollie blinked at him, taken aback. She hadn't expected him to agree so quickly, especially after how furious he looked mere moments ago. Was he just going to promise not to push her away again, only for her to wake up the next morning right back where they started?

"I am?" she repeated, more to confirm what she'd heard than to challenge him. Was she finally losing her mind? Had she heard him wrong?

"You need your space," he replied, shaking his head as if trying to clear his thoughts.

"My space?" She laughed bitterly, the sound harsh and grating. She stepped even closer, her voice rising with frustration. "Doctor, I'm saying the complete opposite. I don't need space—I need you to look at me for who I am!"

His eyes found hers, and he held her gaze for a long moment. "And who are you?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at her for a moment.

"I'm me," she replied, her voice steady and full of conviction. "I'm Hollie Aria. I'm your rescuer."

He studied her face and suddenly he felt like he was back under stone henge with the Pandorica. His eyes falling onto her face for what felt like the first time. It was as if he was trying to memorise every detail he missed due to the chaos of that day. But he didn't look for long and then he turned away, tearing his eyes off her and facing the console instead, looking at it blankly with a torn expression before he scrunched his face up.

"You can't do it, can you?" she asked, almost laughing through tears she hadn't even realised she'd been shedding as she shook her head. "You can't look at me without seeing her, can you?"

"What do you expect?" he whirled on her so fast she would have been worried he got whiplash if she wasn't slightly terrified by the anger blazing in his eyes. He was towering over her now, his eyes full of a mix of anger and despair. "What do you expect me to do?" He said in a low voice.

"What you would expect me to do, Doctor!" she shouted at him, her voice cracking with emotion. New tears stung her eyes, and a lump formed in her throat, making it hard to speak. "Honestly." She scoffed through a new sob, wrapping her arms around herself as if trying to hold herself together and bring some comfort that she knew he would not bring her—he hadn't brought in a long time. "If you don't want me here then just do it." She ordered softly. "Drop me on Earth."

He stared at her, his hearts breaking at the command. "What?" His voice cracked.

"You heard me." She swallowed hard, refusing to look at him properly as she tilted her head down, staring at the glass flooring beneath her feet.

He stared at her and Hollie thought for a second when he didn't move that he'd stop the silly game he had been playing, he'd pull her into his embrace and tell her he had been wrong and he finally wasn't looking at a ghost, he'd kiss her forehead and tell her that he was actually an idiot in a box. Her idiot in a box with his rescuer and they would be okay.

But that didn't happen because neither of them lived in a fairy-tail and finally he broke the new strained silence between them.

"You want to leave?" He whispered, his voice sounding so quiet yet so loud at exactly the same time.

"If that's what you want," she shrugged weakly, her own voice barely above a whisper. "If it hurts you so much to look at me, then I'll go. I can't compete with a ghost, Doctor and I certainly can't keep going on with you acting like this."

"Acting like what." He narrowed his eyes.

"Like a cunt!" She snapped.

The Doctor's eyes widened, but he remained silent. The tension in the TARDIS was almost unbearable, the air thick with words unspoken, and his shoulders slumped as he moved around the console. His movements were slow and deliberate, lacking the usual flair and energy. His hands seemed to go through the motions without thought, each touch on the controls weighted by a sadness in his eyes that felt far older than either of them.

She watched him out of the corner of her eye, her arms wrapped tightly around herself as if that might hold her together. His gaze never met hers like it used to, not with the warmth and light she once thought would never fade. She remembered the last time he looked at her that way—the day before she changed. He had been piloting the TARDIS and for some reason they were spinning around the console together, just the two of them, laughing as he pulled her close. It was almost like dancing, that light, carefree kind of intimacy that made her feel they were the only two people in the universe.

At that moment, she could still recall his eyes, so green and bright, flickering over her face, lingering on her lips. She thought he'd do it—that he'd close the small distance and kiss her, sealing the unspoken words hanging between them. But instead, the TARDIS jolted for some reason she'd never know, and she fell forward, landing in his arms with a flush of embarrassment.

She remembered how he laughed, his hands steady on her waist, his face close enough that her cheeks burned as she buried her head in his chest. The laughter had melted any awkwardness, and for that brief moment, they were just them—no fear, no looming shadows, only warmth and joy.

But now, standing here in silence, she could feel that distance between them growing like a chasm. The Doctor kept his back to her as he piloted the ship.

She tore her eyes away from him as he made his way from one control to another and she watched the rotor of the TARDIS as it began to move up and down, feeling a crushing numbness settle over her. She couldn't bring herself to meet the Doctor's gaze as he stopped his moments when the familiar wheezing sound of the TARDIS faded bringing another uncomfortable silence, signalling their arrival.

"There's no point in asking if I'm going to see you again," she whispered, biting down on her trembling lip as she turned away from him. Squeezing her eyes shut to stop herself properly breaking down in front of him. She was determined to not do that otherwise she'd never leave.

"I can't keep hurting you like this," he replied softly, his voice full of regret as he finally looked at her.

"That's the thing, Doctor." She replied as she shook her head, unable to stop the tears from falling. She took one last proper look at him, memorising every line of his face, every feature of him she found absolutely beautiful. "You hurting me isn't what I'm upset about." She whispered before speaking in a normal voice. "It's the fact that you lied to me and haven't let me live. You haven't given me a chance to be more than a ghost to you."

He stared at the back of her head now when she turned around, his eyes wide with shock and something else—guilt and his figure tense when she turned around again, giving the TARDIS—not him one final look before she left him alone in the ship. It was suddenly eerily quiet, too quiet. The only noise the sound being quiet hums from the console. He was truly alone now. He had got what he wanted and yet it felt so wrong.

And for the first time in a very long time the Doctor allowed himself to fall to his knees. The palms of his hands pushing painfully into his eyes as he let out a sob. Not just for Hollie and the fact he had let her slip away from him but for all the people he had managed to fail and all the mistakes he made throughout his long life. Their faces burned into his mind, scolding him hot like lava. Even after centuries he could see them all so vividly, each one more painful than the last, from his own children on Gallifrey to his granddaughter Susan and then his companions. Katarina, Adric, Tegan, Peri, Rose, Martha, Donna the list went on... it was almost endless the memories of his old friends and everything he had done in ruining their lives hit him at once, and it hurt.

But her face remained in his mind, he couldn't quite shake it. It was like they both moulded together, from one Hollie Aria to the next and it was painful because now he had the image of both of them in the dust of the Pandorica and it was all because of him.

Back on Earth Hollie stood on the cold pavement as the reality of her situation slowly sank in, the cold air hitting her like a slap in the face.

She knew she had to be on Earth and the chilly air made her shiver. It was extremely dark in the middle of a random street and she had no idea what time it was but it was definitely Earth and hopefully she wasn't ridiculously in the future or the past but going by a person she noticed walking down the street, minding their own business while her world came crashing down around her, it was somewhere in the 21st century from their clothing.

She didn't even register the wheezing until the wind kicked up again and Hollie turned around, swallowing hard as the TARDIS began to demateralise right in front of her. She couldn't help but let out a bitter laugh. He had left her. He actually had left her.

Tears began to spill down her cheeks again as the TARDIS finally disappeared but what had she expected? That he would stay, that he would fight for her? He was the Doctor after all. Running away from his problems no matter how small was what he did best. But it still hurt, more than she could have ever imagined. He was a coward. A childish coward and an idiot.

She wanted to hate him, she really wanted to scream and shout, mainly at him but she couldn't. Because despite everything, despite how much she had shouted at him on the TARDIS she still loved him.

That was the worst part, knowing that no matter how much he ruined her life and hurt her heart she would still love him. It was a cruel and truly horrible twisted fate and even if it had been only a minute since he left she missed him, of course she missed him, who wouldn't miss him when he had looked at you like you were the most important person in a room? Even if it was only for a second.

Maybe she shouldn't have egged him on into leaving her, should she call him? Beg him to come back and get her?

No. That was the worst possible idea ever. She was still angry and upset and she couldn't just give in to him like that no matter how much she said it didn't matter he did hurt her. The Doctor said he loved her before and he could do it again, but, so far all she had seen was the complete opposite for months on end, if he wasn't going to love her now he most likely never would for s long time.

The chilly air nipped at her again and Hollie pulled her phone out of her pocket, looking at the screen through teary eyes. Monday 30 July 2010. A month after Amy and Rory's wedding, she swallowed hard. It had only been a month for Earth since she had last truly been happy but for her, it had been months. Hell maybe it had even been a year by now, it was hard to keep track.

She sighed as her eyes drifted to the time and she winced at how it was nearing midnight, no wonder it was so dark and cold.

She swallowed hard wondering if the Doctor had dropped Amy and Rory back on Earth or if they stayed with him on the TARDIS and she shook her head at the thought, she didn't even want to call either of them. She knew the second she did they'd rain all hell on the Time Lord or pity her, she didn't want either of those options. Screaming and shouting at the Doctor or their pity wouldn't help her situation, she already shouted at him enough and look where that got her.

Alone.

And she decided to stay alone because she had really always been alone, even with Amy, Rory and Mels, she felt alone in the world— no the universe.

The air hit her again and she shivered, she couldn't just stay standing here in the street all night waiting for something to magically make everything better and she frowned softly through her pain as she wondered just where the hell she was because it sure as hell wasn't Leadworth. She had spent enough time standing in the street in the middle of the night in that tiny village with Mels when she came up with horrible ideas, most of them getting them into trouble but no matter how many times Mels dragged her into her schemes she had to admit the girl always took all the blame never once leaving it to Hollie.

So she looked around, spinning on the spot even when it made her feel dizzy, just to try and take in her surroundings as quickly as possible, she probably looked mad to anyone who happened to be watching her, but she was mad. Mad enough to even believe that the Doctor had loved her.

Her eyes fell upon a small pub at the end of the street, the lights were still on inside and Hollie found herself drawn to it, her feet moving on their own accord.

As she approached the pub, Hollie noticed it had the appearance of a quaint cottage, its exterior shrouded in darkness save for the warm glow of lights spilling out from the windows. The name on the sign above the door was obscured by the night, but the few letters she could make out reassured her that she was somewhere English-speaking—and by the architecture, it seemed like she was in England.

Jackpot.

Hollie hesitated for a moment before pushing open the heavy wooden door. The warmth of the pub enveloped her instantly, a stark contrast to the biting cold outside. The interior was as cosy as she had imagined, all warm wood and soft lighting, with the comforting scent of ale and roasted meat hanging in the air. It was undoubtedly a cottage, she was sure of it now, with its low ceilings and rustic charm.

Her eyes scanned the room, taking in the small group of patrons who were still seated at their tables, quietly sipping their drinks and murmuring in low tones. An older woman with greying hair stood behind the bar, arranging drinking glasses while humming a soft tune to herself, her glasses just about perched on her nose. The gentle sound of the door closing behind Hollie caught the woman's attention, and she looked up, her eyes immediately locking onto Hollie's weary figure.

"You look awful, dear," the woman observed, her voice kind and soothing.

"Thanks..." Hollie muttered, her voice thick with exhaustion as she made her way to one of the bar stools. She sat down heavily, her head falling into her hands as she closed her eyes, trying to block out the world for just a moment.

"Need a drink, my love?"

It was only then that Hollie realised she had nothing—no money, no belongings, no way to pay for anything. A sigh of frustration escaped her as the weight of her situation settled even heavier on her shoulders. "I don't have any money," she admitted, not looking up from her hands. "Sorry."

"That's okay," the woman replied without missing a beat, as if Hollie's admission were no inconvenience at all. Hollie frowned into the darkness of her hands, listening to the quiet clink of a bottle being opened, liquid poured into a glass. When the glass was set down on the bar in front of her, she finally looked up.

A small shot of clear liquid sat there, its presence unexpected but somehow comforting.

"But—" she began, unsure, her voice trailing off as she met the older woman's kind eyes.

The woman shrugged, a gentle smile playing on her lips. "It's the least I can do. You look like you need it."

Hollie's lips twitched into a small, grateful smile. "Thank you," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion she hadn't meant to show.

Without another word, she picked up the shot glass and downed the liquid in one go. The alcohol's burn was sharp against her throat, bringing a surprising clarity that she welcomed, if only for a moment. She squeezed her eyes shut as it went down, still unsure what exactly she had just drunk. Mels was usually the one with all the experience in that department. Whatever it was, it certainly did the trick.

The woman chuckled softly from behind the bar as she took the empty glass from Hollie's hand. "Good?"

"Yeah," Hollie croaked, her voice hoarse from the drink and her earlier tears. She coughed lightly, trying to clear her throat. "Thank you, again."

"It's no trouble," the woman replied, waving her off as if it were nothing. Her eyes softened with concern. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Hollie let out a bitter chuckle, the sound hollow. Even if she did want to talk about it, where would she begin? How could she explain the tangled mess of her life? That the man she thought she could trust had left her stranded? That he was an alien over nine hundred years old with two hearts, and that he'd abandoned her because he couldn't bear to look at her? That she was barely herself anymore, after regenerating in a haze of dust, only to be left behind in a universe that seemed on the verge of collapsing?

"No, I'm good," she said, shaking her head as if trying to dislodge the thoughts. "It's just... my boyfriend." The word felt strange, and she winced slightly after she said it.

Could she even call him that? He had asked her, but had he ever really treated her like a boyfriend should? The answer, painfully clear now, was no.

The woman's gaze softened further, her sympathy almost breaking Hollie. "I think you deserve another drink, my love."

Hollie shook her head, resisting the temptation. "No, I shouldn't." She sighed, pulling out her phone and glancing at the screen, though she barely knew what she was looking for. "I should try to find somewhere to stay for the night before it's too late. I just needed to get my bearings, that's all."

"Stay here," the woman offered without a moment's hesitation.

Hollie looked at her in surprise, her brows knitting together. "I told you, I have no money."

The woman waved her concern away with a dismissive hand. "Money, sh-money. You look like you've been through hell, and whatever's happened between you and your boyfriend doesn't mean you deserve to be out in the cold all night. We can sort out your payment in the morning."

"Are you sure?" Hollie asked, her voice tinged with doubt. She was out of trust these days, stretched too thin to believe in anyone's kindness, especially a stranger's.

"Positive." The woman nodded, her tone kind yet firm. "There's a spare room upstairs. The couple who booked it cancelled last minute. No sense in it sitting empty."

Hollie blinked, taking a moment to absorb the offer. "You're a B&B?"

The woman laughed, her voice warm and somehow reassuring. "You really aren't from around here, are you, my love?"

Hollie's lip twitched into something like a smile, realising how little the woman knew of how true her words were. "Something like that." She glanced around the pub, searching for clues to where she was, but found nothing familiar. "Where exactly are we?"

The woman chuckled. "You aren't a lightweight, are you?" But her laughter faded when she saw the lack of humour in Hollie's eyes. "Kingsbury," she finally answered, her look turning curious. "Did your boyfriend drop you off without telling you where you were?"

"Pretty much," Hollie muttered, bitterness slipping into her voice.

"Some boyfriend he was," the woman remarked, a disapproving edge to her tone.

"Tell me about it," Hollie muttered back, looking away. "So, where is Kingsbury?"

"Warwickshire," the woman replied, studying Hollie's reaction. "A little village near Birmingham."

Hollie felt the weight of her situation pressing down once more. She'd gone from one village to the wonders of time and space, only to end up in yet another village, stranded, no money, and no plan. She was so far from Leadworth, from everything she had once called home, and the fear she'd been holding at bay crept closer.

"Right," Hollie whispered, closing her eyes briefly, trying to process. The facts sank in, stark and unavoidable. She was alone, with nowhere to go and no one who would understand what she'd been through. The sense of abandonment flared within her, an echo of all the heartbreak she'd fought so hard to suppress.

The woman reached out, placing a comforting hand on Hollie's. The touch was warm, grounding her in a way that felt unexpectedly steadying, and Hollie slowly opened her eyes to meet the woman's gaze. "You'll figure this out, my love. I'm sure everything will work out fine. You walked into my pub after all, especially when it's this late, on your own. It's dangerous."

Hollie managed a small, humourless laugh, though it carried a hint of the heaviness she was trying to shake off. Dangerous? Yes, it was dangerous out there in the dark, alone. But compared to what she'd faced with the Doctor? Compared to Weeping Angels, vampire fish from space, Daleks, Cybermen, Silurians... compared to her own body broken and lost in the dust of some distant world? The danger she faced tonight felt almost... trivial. And yet, that thought made her ache all the more.

She rubbed her forehead, trying to push away the thoughts, to block out the images that had haunted her tonight. "It's getting late," she said quietly, glancing around the now-empty pub. "I should let you close up. Thank you for the drink."

Hollie stood, preparing to leave, but the woman's voice halted her. "Where are you going?"

She shrugged, helplessly. "Somewhere, I suppose. I don't really know where."

"I said you could stay here," the woman insisted, her tone firm with a kindness that Hollie found difficult to accept but didn't have the strength to resist. "I meant it."

Hollie hesitated, taking a breath as she shook her head, though the weight of her gratitude softened her resolve. "I've already taken up enough of your time..."

The woman simply shook her head, her voice unyielding. "I insist. I'm not waking up to the news of a young woman found dead on her own." She gave Hollie a look that allowed no argument.

Relenting, Hollie let out a faint chuckle, the smallest smile tugging at her lips as she whispered, "Alright... Thank you."

The woman's face softened as if dismissing the matter, though her eyes held an understanding Hollie had thought only the Doctor might ever possess. "Come on, let's get you upstairs," she said, setting down the last of her glasses behind the bar. She walked around to gently guide Hollie by the arm. "What's your name, child?"

"Hollie," she replied, voice quiet as she allowed herself to be led up the narrow staircase. "Hollie Aria."

"What a beautiful name," the woman said with a warm smile. "I'm Edith Fletcher."

They reached the top of the stairs, and Edith opened the door to a small, tidy room, gesturing for Hollie to enter. She couldn't help but feel a flicker of something close to relief—a sense of solace she hadn't expected tonight. She stepped inside, and as she took in the room's quiet simplicity, a glimmer of hope sparked within her. Perhaps tomorrow would be easier.

But for now, all she wanted was to escape her own thoughts, to forget just for a little while, even if only long enough to close her eyes without the memories crashing over her like waves.

─── ｡ﾟ☆･*.☽ .* ☆ﾟ. ───

So... that happened.
I wish I could say this is the most angsty we're see these two but honestly, we could possibly get more because it is them.

Let me know what you guys think, I love this chapter so much and have spent a ridiculous amount of time adding and polishing it. No surprise but I had the majority of this one completed before we were done with a Christmas Carol. I knew I wanted the angst and I like to think I delivered with it.