Chapter 19

"MIGHT YOU BE FREQUENT riders, ladies?" Lord Algernon inquired with an easy grin, as he stood facing the ladies with Lord Buxton standing next to him.

Diana and Alicia glanced at each other, "No, we are not," Alicia responded calmly. She wondered where he would go with this, what he would say next in his attempt to make them laugh. Not that she was going to; there wasn't possibly anything these gentlemen could do to elicit a smile, let alone a laugh, from them. Frank Templemore stood at the opposite corner of the room, talking to his mother and exchanging occasional words with Mrs Fleming, but his eyes were on the ladies. He wanted to catch them laughing and then inquire about the joke that had got to them later. He wanted to make sure Lord Buxton and Lord Algernon, being as stiff as they were, got through with their punishment instead of backing out, after all, his plan would only work if everyone was better acquainted.

"Well then you can't imagine how Edward's first time was," Isaac Algernon chuckled, "He used to ride his horse rather less well than another horse would."

Edward Buxton scoffed at his friend's audacity to use him for amusement. Diana observed him, he really did act like the world revolved around him.

"I'm sorry gentlemen," she spoke up, mustering up her indifference to them politely, "Pray, excuse me, I should take Theodore to bed."

Lord Buxton and Lord Algernon's eyes snapped to her, they looked shocked, at the idea of losing a bet to another gentleman, or at the idea that they weren't as appealing to women as they thought for one to denounce herself from their company so quickly, Diana could not tell.

They both exchanged knowing glances and Diana noticed a hint of encouragement in Lord Algernon's after Lord Buxton sighed and looked at her, "Lady Beaumont, I shall like to have a word with you in private. I think it is long overdue."

Diana's heart beat quickened, but she maintained her composure, "I'm sure it can wait," she turned to Theodore as she fixed his shirt and decided if she was going to pick him up herself, for he was tiny, or if she should call for a maid.

"No it can't—" Edward Buxton blurted out, before composing himself after meeting the shocked glances of the ladies in front of him and his friend standing next to him, "I will keep it short, but it must be said."

"Very well then," Diana encouraged as she sighed, she might as well hear what he has to say if she was to face him for the remainder of this weekend.

Lord Edward Buxton pursed his lips as his eyes darted towards Alicia and then back at Diana again.

"Surely what you have to say can be said with my cousin present," She pointed out, her eyes narrowed, "Besides; I refuse to be seen in a private audience with you."

Lord Buxton flinched slightly at the bold dismissal of his private company, but nodded his head slowly, "I only want to apologize for the way I acted that day, for the undignified conversation I put forth. I ardently beg for your forgiveness and implore you not to judge me too harshly and make an enemy of me."

His words were rushed, as though he had them piled on his tongue, rehearsed them over and over again and just wanted desperately for them to be spoken as quickly as possible.

"I take it that this inconvenient arrangement we have suddenly found ourselves in together for this weekend, has a lot to do with your apology," Diana spoke calmly, a hint of amusement in her tone, "I presume, you hadn't thought of yourself ever having to say these words otherwise."

She noticed his appearance tighten as he shifted in his spot and locked his fists, tighter than they were before, behind his back. His face, however, showed near to none annoyance as he maintained his stoic expression.

"You presume correct," He shot back, his voice levelled and civil, as Lord Algernon shot him a wary glance, "I hadn't thought that you'd ever be in my company again after that day, I hadn't thought that I'd ever see you again, so yes, I hadn't thought that I'd ever have to say these words."

Diana felt something inside her stir from the tone of his voice, his tone reminded her of that time they had came across the gentlemen in the countryside at Southampton. She had walked alongside him amongst the flower fields and he had told her that she had beautiful eyes. Why did that feel so long ago? Like a distant memory losing itself through the sands of time. She felt Alicia shift slightly next to her, as the plush velvet cushion of the settee moved for a brief second. And Diana was reminded of her cousin and Lord Algernon as well. Her unpleasant encounter with Lord Buxton had caused a drift between Alicia and Lord Algernon, apologies were only to be spoken and accepted between Lord Buxton and Diana. Lord Algernon had not behaved ungentlemanly in any way towards the ladies; his only fault was that he supported Lord Buxton's cruelty to their employees.

"But fate had other plans," Edward Buxton added after a slight pause. Diana's eyes, which had drifted to Theodore, shot back up at him again.

"Fate is a very heavy word to throw around after dinner," She hummed, breaking their gaze and looking at the little boy who had his head on her lap, his eyes closed in deep sleep.

Lord Algernon cleared his throat and asked for Alicia to accompany him on a stroll, as he reached out his arm for her. Exchanging a glance with Diana, who shot her cousin an encouraging nod, Alicia accepted, and the pair walked away making their way out the drawing room. Diana watched them go, their figures strolling away. Alicia can make a decision about the gentleman for herself, and so far all that Diana had done was dictate her own indifference, forcing Alicia to have the very same opinion.

"May I offer my assistance?" Lord Buxton's voice came, sincerity lacing his voice as he cast a glance to Theodore. Diana sighed slowly. She felt suddenly tired, tired of despising this man who clearly needed to be despised. Her mother had always told her that when you feel strongly about someone, you find yourself using up all your energy whether in hating them or in loving them. Diana had been doing just that, using up all her energy towards despising someone for tricking her who probably didn't even let her cross his mind once. All the will power of her heart and mind was constantly at work. Was this how Frank had felt? Her eyes drifted to her cousin, who was laughing heartily at something The Countess had said across the room. Was this how he had felt? Exhausted after feeling so strongly for her and having her deny him without a second thought?

"If it's no trouble," Diana responded, not caring that she had been silent for an undeniably long time after his offer.

"Not at all," The gentleman responded as he approached closer, bending down to pick the little boy up in his arms. His hand brushed unintentionally against Diana's, and sparks shot up his arms. His eyes glanced up at her, and instantly he could tell that she had felt it too, before the look in her eyes went away and was replaced by her calm and intense one.

Diana felt a little pinch in her stomach, a warm pinch that seemed to radiate all throughout her body, at the sight of the man in front of her holding her baby cousin with such care. He looked as though he had done it countless times before, his strong hands around Theodore's back and behind his tiny legs, holding him like he was porcelain. Pushing unwanted thoughts out from her mind, she straightened her purple skirts and got up from the settee as Lord Buxton waited on her.

Casting a small smile at him, she turned to walk towards her aunts and Frank, and she felt Lord Buxton follow behind.

"Ah, Diana," Frank let out with big smile, "It seemed that mother had been doing the amusing more than Lord Buxton and Lord Algernon had. I hope they didn't bore you ladies."

"They did, actually," Diana mused, "Perhaps Aunt Agnes can give the gentlemen a lesson or two in keeping a lady's interest."

The Countess and Aunt Frederica laughed, as Frank agreed heartily. Aunt Frederica's eyes turned at her little son held high in Lord Buxton's arms. "Oh, Lord Buxton, pray, please don't inconvenience yourself, I'll carry Theodore to our room," The worried Mrs Fleming replied, anxiously looking at her husband's employer.

"No, Mrs Fleming, I am happy to," The man responded from behind Diana, his obliging voice making her stomach tighten with warmth. Could it be that the man she had admired in Southampton had returned?

"Aunt Agnes, Aunt Frederica, with your permission, I'll excuse myself too for the night," Diana added as she bent to kiss The Countess's cheek as the lady sat in her armchair and patted Diana's back, nodding and humming her approval.

"This early? I was hoping to talk to you today, Diana, just you and me like the old times," Frank spoke slowly, a considerate hope on his face.

The old times, Diana thought. Nothing would be like it was those two years ago, despite how much time they spend together. Diana had broken a bond between them that night, and they may attach the broken pieces to form the original vase again, but the cracks would still remain. She did not want to give him hope again, only to slam a door on his face, he did not deserve that.

"I'm sorry, I'm just really exhausted," She spoke with regret in her voice as Frank took her right hand and kissed the top of her gloved palm, "Perhaps tomorrow." He nodded, with new found hope on his face as she bid the party a good night and pivoted out of the drawing room with Lord Buxton next to her holding Theodore, and they made their way to the upstairs guestrooms.

Walking up the steps of the main staircase, Lord Buxton broke the silence, "You two are close," his simple statement taking Diana by surprise, not that she showed it. His voice held a hint of defeat, or could she have imagined it?

"We were," she responded slowly, her eyes fixed on the steps she took. We were, The words echoed in her head. Frank had changed; she had a voice in her heart telling her that no matter what she did, they can't ever have what they had before. He had changed, bent on proving himself, he had become ambitious, he was no longer the soft spoken boy she used to tell her secrets to. He was no longer that shy boy who said words that he well and truly meant.

They were, Edward Buxton repeated to himself inside his head and his sudden defeat went away. But what really does the word close in this situation entail? What does that word mean to either of them? And more importantly, what does he care? Bending his neck to the side and straightening it again, he cleared his invasive thoughts. This weekend was about securing an investment for his eastern mill branch; it was not about his feelings for a lady that he had decided to bury, resurfacing again. He would not allow them to resurface again.

"Have you accepted my apology?" He let out, calming his voice and changing the subject. He could not have her being cold to him in front of Frank Templemore, if the man noticed anything, or worse if he found out anything about the past events, he might not decide to invest. As of now, Edward was sure the man was clueless, but if Diana and Templemore were close, and they seemed to be too, then why was she not deterring his decision? Why had she not told him about Edward's cruel behaviour yet? Perhaps she meant to keep their secret.

"I am past accepting verbal apologies, Lord Buxton," She responded in a determined voice, as she cast the glance at him and then returned it to the hallway they had just entered.

Diana thought of what truly would make her feel the same for him again, she thought of what he could do that would result in her admiration she once had for him to return. And the list wasn't long, in fact, what she had come up with could be far from categorized as a list. She only wanted him to treat her uncle better, to realize that he worked his blood, sweat and tears to feed his family, she wanted for him to think of all his employees that were in the similar situation as her uncle. She just wanted kindness, was it too much to ask for?

Lord Buxton had kept quiet after her response, as they reached Aunt Frederica's room and Diana turned the door handle and opened the door as they were greeted by a neatly done guestroom with candles alight in every corner.

Edward carefully placed Theodore onto the bed, after Diana quickly arranged for a pillow underneath him. Sitting beside him on the bed, she covered him with a cream blanket and stroked the little boy's forehead, after placing a kiss on his soft skin.

"He needs his father," Diana spoke softly, in the quietness of the room as she felt Lord Buxton's feet slightly shuffle behind her, "If you would just—" she broke off, a sigh escaping her lips.

"Just, Lady Beaumont?" Edward Buxton felt himself obliged to press her. He needed to talk to her, to have whatever this conversation would turn out to be. He needed to have it unravel, regardless of the picture it would form in the end. "He has his father, a hardworking one who does what he does for his family only." 

Diana wondered if she ought to feel thankful to him, for at least having the decency of acknowledging her uncle's strength and hardship. 

"But you have stolen him," she whispered, shutting her eyes tight before opening them to Theodore's sweet face. "It won't be the money that would matter to Theodore years from now, it would be the lack of his father's face in his memories." 

"Even now," The lady continued, in a broken whisper, "He slaves away at your mill while you are here." 

Edward's hands fisted at his sides. She thought him a villain. She thought of him worse than he truly was, and that hurt a lot. His eyes were fixed on her figure, the curls pinned at the back of her head, the rhythmic breathing movement that controlled the soft rise and fall of her shoulders, the delicate curves of her being, the skin at her neckline seemed to reflect all the candle light of the room. 

"I didn't intend to," He managed, before regretting have phrased his words so, because at present there was much he wanted to say, and those three words he had spoken didn't nearly cut it. 

Diana stilled, before getting off the side of the bed and turning to meet Lord Buxton's eyes. "You didn't intend to?" She uttered in disbelief and Edward found himself falling into the contempt burning in her eyes. "Is it that you did not care enough to ponder over such things, or did you intend something else to a much larger degree?" 

Edward stayed silent, fiercely looking back into her eyes and holding his ground. 

"I can't seem to choose which is uglier," Diana concluded, a sudden moisture in her eyes that she instantly blinked away. Edward could see her horror at loosing her composure as she tried to regain in back. 

He watched her take a few deep breaths, a single hand on her chest trying to calm herself down, before she faced him again. 

"Why are you like this?" She inquired, expression marred in disbelief, "You deceived me, you deceived us. You are bent on hurting people that would never have the power of causing you any harm."

She paused then, not trusting herself to continue without one lest her voice cracked. 

"How did we receive you at Southampton— what could we possibly have done to infuriate you so that you torture our loved ones here in Portsmouth?" 

Edward's brow twitched, muscles in his face taut and schooled in a stoic expression, waiting for her to finish. 

"And now, you have the audacity to be here? To dine at my Aunt Agnes' hospitality, in an attempt to secure a profit investment from my cousin?" Her voice cracked then, she could not control i any longer. 

"Will you not defend yourself?" She raised her voice, her gaze turning into a glare. 

Lord Edward Buxton exhaled then, his eyes briefly darting to Theodore's sleeping figure before meeting Diana's irises again. 

"My employees make me, Lady Beaumont," He let out, "They make me. I am nothing without them, my business is nothing without them."

The lady took a step back, holding her left elbow with her right hand, promising herself that she would try to understand whatever he had to say, because he had listened to her just as carefully. 

"Before we came to Southampton," Edward's voice lowered, his gaze insistent, "An enemy had two of our most profitable mill branches burnt to the ground. Isaac headed there and he barely made it out with his life. We lost workers in the fire, and tons of money. We had to tighten our hold after that, reduce the worker's wages and increase their work hours in our other mill branches to compensate, and if your uncle fell victim to that I want you to know that it was unintentional and we had no other choice. It was either that, or letting all of them go in order to close down the business while we arranged for enough money to have it back up and running again," He paused, his eyes bearing into hers.

"Our workers depend on our business, for their livelihood. We came to Southampton to try and secure an investor, but we had no luck. No gentleman of sound mind wanted to invest knowing that there was a risk the accident could happen again. But I promised myself that day as I was helping find the burnt bodies of my employees under the broken remains of the mill branch, that I would never let anything like that happen again."

Diana felt her eyes well up with tears as she could not feel her heart beat anymore. Breaking her gaze from him, she focused on Theodore's sleeping face as she tightly blinked, fighting the tears. 

"You are lying," she spoke, refusing to let him dupe her again. Refusing to believe this wild story, refusing to believe he would stoop to such ground just to play her. 

"I don't lie," He answered simply, no remorse recognizable in his voice for dropping such a burden on her shoulders. Diana believed him then, his straightforward comments from back at Southampton rushing to her. She felt shame creep into her bones like a strong chill. She had judged him mercilessly, without any knowledge, without his side of the story; she had been vicious, utterly cruel and vicious. He had made her so. 

"The crowd you saw that day on the streets," He added, his voice lowering, "They were our employees, cluelessly protesting against the tight wages and the long work hours. Isaac and I always had a plan with everything we always did; the fire was like a stab in our guts. We stumbled, but we will pull the knife out and make everything right again. This is our problem, and we will fix it ourselves without taking a penny from our inherited lands."

"This is why you need Frank," Diana spoke softly, trying her best to make sure her voice didn't crack. She felt like a villain, as though she had been one the entire time without even realizing.

"Yes," came the confident response, "We need what he has to offer."

Taking a deep breath, Diana faced him again. It took immense courage. She had made a terrible mistake, and she would not shy away from admitting the wrong of her actions and facing their consequences.

"I have judged you wrongfully," she began, her eyes peering up at him with all the regret she felt inside, "I have thought cruel things about you and blamed you for each of my Uncle's family's sufferings when all the while you had ensured my uncle earned his livelihood just like all your other employees.

"I confess I knew not the slightest of your struggles and yet was quick to form an opinion of you," she paused, watching his stoic expression soften, "Please, forgive me."

Edward Buxton looked at her, every word that left her mouth doing the unimaginable to his insides. She looked a dream, standing there in front of him, in her beautiful purple gown and her raven curls loosely pinned high to the back of her head, with stray ones framing her face as her eyes sparkled in the yellow light of the dozen candles in the room. Her accusations against him had made cracks onto his heart as he had patiently listened, and now it felt as though the cracks were filling up now with gold. 

"There is nothing to forgive. What you chose to base your opinion on, because I refused to provide the facts behind my actions, is not your fault," he managed to speak, his feelings in a whirl, "I can see how much you care for your family, I've seen it ever since I saw you for the first time. I cannot blame you for thinking wrong of someone like me."

Diana looked at him. Who was this person in front of her? This man who did so much and cared so deeply and yet could hide all that under one steel demeanour? He had gone through so much, lost so much, yet he still stood strong and brave with the hope that he would make everything right again. He was not cruel, he was not unfeeling, and he was the opposite of every negative word she had described him as. In her heart of hearts, she knew she would help him secure Frank's investment, whether or not he asked for her help. It would be her way of mending the injustice she had done to him, her way of turning things around.

"Please, don't—," She tried, words failing her, "I'm not— I'm never this wrong. I'm never this cruel. I'm not—" 

"You are not cruel," Edward Buxton interrupted her, his expression earnest. He took a step closer to her. "I'm the one who's cruel, for withholding all this from you when I should have spoken. You are the most gentlest creature I have ever met." 

Diana looked at him, wondering how he could still see her as gentle after everything she had said to him.

A silence ensued then. He waited for her to speak, his eyes peering at her in earnestness. She wanted to speak, but did not know what to say or how to say it.  

"Does this m-mean you like him now Diana?" A soft sleepy voice interrupted then, making the pair turn their faces to see Theodore's small figure sitting up on the bed, rubbing his sleepy eyes with his tiny hands. 

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