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𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗞

CHAPTER THIRTEEN
and you throw your head back
laughing like a little kid

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IMESSAGE CONVERSATION

mjane [ mary jane ]
josh [ ellum ]

josh
mjaneeeee

mjane
oh
ello bruv
what's up

josh
I'm boredddd

mjane
well
that sounds
like a you
problem if I'm
going to be
honest
and you came
to me
because . . .?

josh
you're interesting

mjane
well thank
you
I'm flattered

josh
you should
be
ANYWAYS
back to my
boredom
are you
doing anything
right now?

mjane
no, why?

josh
wanna come
hang out with
me in my room
while I play tft

mjane
sure :)
I'll be right
down

josh
YAYYYY
I'll leave the
door open

＊*•♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚˚*•♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙♥•̩̩͙*˚＊

REAL LIFE

SO, THAT'S EXACTLY how Mary Jane found herself in Ellum's room — or really Sykkuno's room that Ellum was borrowing — a little while later.

Ellum laid on his stomach on the bed, staring down at the tablet Tina had given him in focus as he played a game of TFT. Mary Jane sat on the floor, her back resting against his bed with her knees tucked up to her chest, more specifically the end that had the frog blanket on it (courtesy of Sykkuno.) One of her headphones was in her ear, and she was listening to Special. As she did so, her journal rested on her legs, and she was writing some more lyrics to the song she had started the other day. She scrunched her nose up slightly, moving up her pair of glasses (she didn't usually wear them, most of the time going for contacts, but it was just one of those days.)

It's easy to be me
I just wake up and waltz out the door
A breeze, believe me
Like the one from your grandparents' porch

The room — to Ellum, at least, since Mary Jane was still listening to music — was silent, other than the sound of Mary Jane's pencil scribbling against the page and the occasional erase. It was nice, though. They didn't even have to be talking to enjoy each other's company. Even though Ellum never usually stopped talking, and how Mary Jane would do nothing but listen because she could listen to him all day, it was nice to revel in the quiet for once.

Until Ellum very loudly sighed for maybe the third time. Mary Jane stopped tapping her pencil against her journal and glanced up, only to see him (very gently) toss his tablet to the side. She laughed slightly at the expression on his face, and just the sound of it made him smile.

"Lost?" Mary Jane asked.

"Again," Ellum complained. "Three game's, all L's."

"I'd try to help you, but I don't know how to play TFT. And before you say anything, no, please don't teach me. I'm already learning Hearthstone, I'm not so sure I can handle trying to learn another one on top of it. My brain is kind of broken." Mary Jane tilted her head slightly at him in encouragement as the song switched to Call Your Mom. "You'll get 'em next time, though."

"Nah, I'm done. I'm tilted." Ellum suddenly flopped over, his head dangling off the side of the bed so it was right next to Mary Jane's, but upside down. "I'd rather talk to you instead, anyways."

From the closeness of their faces, the closeness of them in general, and the fact that he just said that, Mary Jane felt like she couldn't breathe. Classic, honestly. Even though she had gotten way more comfortable around him, considering she was literally in his room by herself right now, her crush on him was still embarrassingly big, and wasn't getting better. It was getting worse, really, but Mary Jane still couldn't find it in herself to do anything about it.

She giggled again. "Couldn't stay away from yapping for too long, could you?"

"What can I say?" Ellum replied. "I'm just a yapper. It's in my blood."

Mary Jane offered him the other headphone. "Want one?"

"Sure." Ellum put in the headphone, listening for a moment as Noah Kahan started to sing the chorus again. "Oh, wait, I love this song. It's sad as fuck, though."

"I think that's kind of the point." She rolled her eyes fondly, poking his cheek with the eraser of her pencil. "Besides, isn't that what we talked about the other night? All lights turned off can be turned on?"

"Sure, I guess so." His eyebrows then knit in concern. "Wait, are you sad?"

"No," Mary Jane answered truthfully, because after everything she had experienced the past couple of days while being here, she could confidently say she hadn't felt this happy in a while. Her cheeks then splashed a light shade of pink. "Not with you." She poked him with the eraser again, this time on his forehead. "You ray of sunshine, you."

Ellum laughed, moving the pencil away from his face with his hand. "Okay, good. I'm just checking. And thanks, I'm glad."

"Hey, no problem." She raised her eyebrows at him. "Would you like me to change the song?"

"It's your playlist. I was just simply making an observation."

"I'll change it to something more happy, if you'd wish," Mary Jane stated. She then skipped the song, and Please Please Please came on. "See, there we go. Way more upbeat."

Ellum blinked slowly. "Not going to lie, the way I'm laying right now is making me kind of dizzy."

"Then sit up," Mary Jane responded, picking up her water bottle and taking a sip, suddenly realizing it was the last one.

"But then I won't be next to you anymore."

Mary Jane stared at him for a moment, her heart feeling like it was about to completely jump out of her chest and her stomach feeling all fluttery. God damn it. How could he say something like that and expect her to just live?

She gave him a look, trying to control the heat in her face that she could feel rapidly growing as she shut her journal, leaving it on the floor with her pencil. "I'm not worth all the blood rushing to your head. Sit normally."

"Then join me up here," Ellum insisted.

Mary Jane's breath hitched in her throat, which she hoped he couldn't hear, before giving him a gently smile. "I'll join you up there in a sec, but I just need to go grab some water." Mary Jane removed her headphone from her ear and put her phone on the bed before standing up with her now empty water bottle. "Need anything from the kitchen?"

Ellum shook his head, rolling back over onto his stomach so he was finally upright again. "I'm good, thank you."

She slipped out the door. Since Ellum's room was on the first floor, it was only a very short walk to the kitchen. Mary Jane unscrewed the top off of her water bottle as she approached the sink. As she started to fill it with water, she heard murmuring voices coming from the living room. Mary Jane turned her head in the direction of the living room, making out two distinct people — Noah and Tina.

Once water was filled to the top, Mary Jane turned off the water. She walked in the direction of the living room while putting the top back on. The sight she was met with was a little confusing. Tina was sitting by Noah's head, staring down at him. Noah, on the other hand, was laying fully on his back, staring up at the ceiling, and looking very . . . upset. It was starkly different from his usually happy-go-lucky expression, and one that Mary Jane didn't see too often.

Mary Jane leaned against the wall, her eyebrows knitting in confusion. "Why do you look depressed?"

"It's because I am," Noah admitted.

"What's the matter?"

"His yearning heart," Tina told her. "He's too much of a lover boy."

"I miss Luna," Noah clarified, hugging a pillow to his chest. "She's been gone for too long."

Mary Jane frowned, a pang going through her chest. "I miss her, too. But, hey, good news. She comes back in two days, and then she'll be here for a while. That has to count for something."

"Thank God."

She stared at him for a moment longer. "It's okay to be upset about her being gone, you know."

Noah sighed. "Yeah, she told me the same thing. It's just hard to not feel guilty about it, especially since she's following her dreams."

"Those dreams include you too, Noah. She'd go wherever you'd go, trust me."

Tina smiled up at her. "You've always been so great at pep talks, MJ. What have you been up to? Wanna hang out?"

"Oh, I've been with Josh," Mary Jane answered, pointing over her shoulder in the vague direction of his room. "We've just been chilling in his room?"

"Wait a second," Noah cut in, suddenly sitting up all the way from laying down and looking at her. "You've been with Ellum in his room? Just you two?"

Mary Jane's cheeks felt extremely warm . . . again. "We're hanging out, 'cause we're friends. That's what friends do."

"Friends," Tina repeated slowly, a knowing look in her eye. "Right."

"You're not really hiding anything that well, MJ," Noah added. "I've been here for, like, two days, and I can already tell."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Mary Jane protested. "You know what? Wallow in misery, Noah. Tina, I love you, and never change."

Mary Jane then turned around and walked away. She felt a pillow hit her back, and knowing exactly who threw it (Noah), she threw up the middle finger behind her without even looking. Mary Jane went back into the hallway, letting out a deep breath as she made her way back towards Ellum's room. Even Noah, one of the most oblivious people she knew, could tell? God, she was awful at this.

She could only hope right now that Ellum couldn't tell. Liking him felt . . . impossible, in a sense. She means, she developed a crush on him before they even met. And now, they were just becoming good friends. Mary Jane cared about him and their friendship way too much to ruin it. Yet, she knew that she would eventually have to tell him. Not only because of her deal with Meena (she had to keep up her deal of jumping into the deep in), but because this crush was absolutely eating her alive. It consumed all of her thoughts, and she wasn't too sure how long she could go on living like this.

Everyone on the planet had experienced a major case of the feels at some point in their lives. There's just those days when it seems like the heart is too small to hold in all the big emotions. Mary Jane had been having a lot of those days recently. Emotions were often thought to be unique, a sort of personal phenomena that make others believe that nobody else has felt the same as them. Scientifically speaking, there was a basis for every emotion felt, no matter what it was — no magic involved, no nothing.

Yet, the second Mary Jane walked back into Ellum's room to see him fully sitting up on the bed with his back resting against the headboard still with a headphone in, and how he turned to her with that smile of his . . .

Fuck. That could not be science.

"Is your favorite color red?" Ellum asked.

Mary Jane snapped herself out of it, walking up to him and sitting next to him on the bed. She crossed her legs underneath her and leaned her back against the headboard as well. Mary Jane then picked up the other headphone and put it in her ear, only to hear the song Lovers. She paused for a second as the song played, feeling the air crack in between them. But maybe that was just her.

"Profound question," Mary Jane commented. "Why do you want to know?"

Ellum shrugged. "I don't know. I thought about it, and I realized I never asked you what your favorite color was."

"Fair enough. I think a lot of people would assume it's red, but it's not. It's actually yellow. Not like a bright yellow, but a softer one. One that you'd find in a sunrise or sunset." She pressed her shoulder into is, looking over at him intently as Lovers switched over to So High School. "You?"

"Blue." Ellum looked over at her as well, his smile slightly growing at the sight of her. "I don't think I knew that you wore glasses. I like them."

"Oh, thanks," Mary Jane said, absentmindedly reaching up and adjusting them slightly. "I don't really wear them too often."

"You should," Ellum told her, swallowing slightly. "You look good. They're cute."

Mary Jane stared at him, very much at a loss for words. Her mouth ran dry, and it was like she had forgotten how to speak. Even if she did, she wouldn't even know what to say. First yesterday, he had put her arm around her, and now today, they were sitting together on the bed and he was calling her cute. Was she reading too much into this, or could this be a sign? Could the girls actually be right in saying he was liking her back? Because, honestly, he could just being nice, but she couldn't tell.

A beat passed. Mary Jane could've sworn she saw his eyes flicker from his eyes down to her lips then back up to her eyes. It could've just been a figure of her imagination or her eyes were deceiving her, but it felt so real. The air between them was actually crackling now, and she could practically feel the lightning bolts from the electricity. Mary Jane's skin felt like she was on fire, and her heart was beating so fast it felt like it was about to jump out of her chest.

And then came a crash, followed by a scream. Mary Jane slightly jumped at it, turning her head towards the door as the moment shattered into a million pieces around her.

"I'm fine!" Tina called. "I just spilled my water!"

"Classic Tina," Noah faintly voiced.

Mary Jane breathed heavily, but she wasn't exactly sure if it was from that jump scare, or from whatever the fuck had just happened. She shut her eyes for a moment, trying to gain control of herself again. Mary Jane had a very bad feeling that she was reaching a boiling point, and she didn't know exactly what would happen when it eventually spilled over. She cleared her throat, finally turning back to Ellum again.

"Hearthstone?" Ellum offered, clearly trying to move past what just happened.

"Yeah," Mary Jane agreed quietly.

She picked up her phone and unlocked it. They kept the headphones in, the music still playing, as Mary Jane went to the app. As they set everything up, Mary Jane snuck a glance over to him, at the very same time that one specific line played.

"No one's ever had me, not like you . . ."

Well. Wasn't that the truth.

-ˏˋ ✩✩✩ ˊˎ-

two finals today back to back might go rip my hair out honestly

but that's not the point bc look at him

oh my

KILL ME KILLLLLLLLL MEEEEEEEE

everybody looked so good at the streamer awards like I died it was insane

AND ELLUM'S MOVING TO LA 😭😭😭 I'VE BEEN THE BIGGEST SUPPORTER OF THIS I can't wait to see him with all of his friends stop I'm sobbing forever

also thank you to the flash aka the loml barry allen for giving me that monologue about science