III.
1921

   
    Between the three Gray's, they got about six hours sleep in total the night before the long awaited Grand Re-opening. Maggie had gotten home in the early hours of the morning finding her daughter knocked out on the couch.

Upon coming home, Polly greeted her numbly, with a bottle of gin in her hand, "she's been only fallen asleep a half hour ago. Up all night." The young woman looked from her mother to her daughter drunkly, not really processing what she was being told.

She stared at her daughter, her curls falling over her pale face. Carissa took after her dad with her blonde locks. The young girl looked more like her father than her mother and it worried Polly sometimes. If Maggie was in the wrong headspace at the wrong time, her aggression and grief may be taken out on the little Cara.

Maggie stood still admiring how peaceful she looked asleep. She had been told on may occasions that she had to cherish these moments.

She was snapped out of her thoughts by the sound of a bottle hitting the cabinet near her. Her mother now stood in front of her with a harsh glare, "Where have you been?" She asked slowly, making sure her drunk daughter kept her attention on her and the question.

"Out." Maggie muttered, matching her mother's look.

"Out." Pol scoffed, "Out where?" She was still mindful of the sleeping child near by.

"God mum, I'm not a bloody kid anymore, I can't go out when I want without needing your permission."

"No, you are not a kid, you're an adult... which means you have responsibilities. abandoning her, your kid, for someone else to look after is not the right thing. Adults have responsibilities, she is your responsibility."

"I'm not abandoning her, I'm just-" Maggie stammered on her words as she tried to stand tall and remain calm, "I'm just having a break."

Polly scoffed again, "every night is a bloody break. You need to step up, don't want your daughter to remember you like this." Her mum looked her up and down in disgust, "Now go to bed before you wake your daughter up."

Maggie held her stare with her mother before making her to her room. Passing the bottle of gin from before, she snatched it. Polly watched her and wished her Maggie would change for her the little girl that, for once, slept soundly.

If she was in her new house tonight — like she had planned—, Carissa would have been in an empty house.

She heard her daughter fall into her bed and soon heard her cries. Her sobs would stop every few moments, for the change to take a sip of the booze. Polly collapsed in the old armchair across from her granddaughter. Her heart broke for the girl and her mother.

Polly watched as Carissa snored quietly. She saw the resemblance between Maggie and the young girl but it was clear she took after her dad the most. Although all people saw was her dad's features first, Polly had seen her mother's features — Carissa's great-grandmother — in her early on.

As bad as it sounded, Polly ignored her daughter's almost quiet sobs. What could she do, she'd just be shut out. She focused on the young girl, hoping she didn't wake up to the sound of her mother weeping in her bedroom.

She was sick of Maggie not prioritising her daughter.

Now Polly Gray was sat, eyes closed, thinking of her conversation with Tommy. He found her children, or Micheal, but he had confirmed her dream. Her youngest daughter was gone. All these years, Anna tried to get back to her but there were too many obstacles.

A tear fell from the woman's eye at the thought her young daughter being so far away for years but still wanted her mum.

And Micheal, her only son. He was in England, not far at all it seemed but again things go in the way; Thomas Shelby. She had pointed her pistol at him but he didn't give an address. She had gone through the his desk hours earlier but there was no answers.

He was making her wait. He expected her to wait, after over a decade, to hold her son again. She missed him. She missed Anna. She missed her three children together again. She wanted her family back.

She may have mourned her husband but a mother never gets over her losing a child.

She remembered when she was sixteen, and she was waiting to tell James about her recent discovery. She was in Charlie's Yard — which had been own by Charlie's father at that stage — and she was thinking of the future.

If he wanted her to keep it, would it be a girl or a boy? Would he marry her? If he did would he be a good husband- would she be a good wife?

She was terrified to tell him. He had arrived all excited for some race, promising Pol he'd take her out to a real fancy place and he'd get her anything she wanted with his winnings he was certain he would get. She didn't want to break his spirit but she had to.

He responded happily to her news. He had spun her around and around until she almost threw up on him. He had promised to marry her, not just for the baby and her reputation, but because he loved her.

Polly smiled at the memory. They had spoke for hours that day until the sunset. They spoke of what they wanted. She had said she wanted three. Three children, a boy and two girls. And that's want she got. James said he wanted at least two boys and if a girl came along he wouldn't be disappointed.

They were married before Polly was showing and there was no ring until after Margaret Gray was born.

She remembered how James kept his promise and took her to London's fanciest restaurant and as a present he got her a silver chain that still hung from her neck. She repaid him with the gift of Micheal and then Anna. She remembered the family of five going to the beach, playing and running away from the shore. She remembered Christmas with the whole Shelby family and how it was the loudest day ever on Waterly Lane.

She missed her family together. And hopefully soon Micheal would be back and he would fill the gap in not only Pol's life but Maggie's.

—

Tonight was the reopening of the Garrison after it had been blown up by whoever Tom pissed off.

The dress Maggie wore fell just below her knees and the sleeves were short but hung off her shoulders. It was a new from London. Maggie loved the dark purple fabric and the texture. She prayed she didn't spill anything on material.

Maggie brought Carissa to the pub, knowing she wouldn't sleep that night, especially with their neighbour.

She lost her daughter when she was saying hello to ada and Karl, "Where's Cara?"

"She- Where is Cara?" She looked around, scared. The Garrison was filled, and she was only small. She checked everywhere before finding her in the back room with tommy. She was dancing on his feet to the muffled music from the bar.

Carissa had ran in to find Tommy and Cara ended up cheering him the man up. "Hello, my sweet girl." She called from the door as she closed it. As she got closer she muttered to Tommy, "She better not have walked in on you with some whore."

"'Course not, Margaret." He said as he took a drag. Carissa smiled up at her mum before running away from her again, "You might want to keep that one on a leash." The man spoke.

"Thanks for the advice, Thomas. What are you doing in here? All 'lone?" She asked taking one gulp of his whiskey, finishing it off, "Oh no! Did someone break your heart? Oh Tommy, I'm so very sorry." She mocked. He didn't answer, "Oh my fuck, I'm right? This never happens."

"Shut up or fuck off." He said to his cousin, "I'd keep watch of her if I were you."

Maggie forced a smile, "I do keep watch of her. Anyway she's starting school soon; can't be camping outside the classroom window observing her every move."

"Heard she's not so excited about that." Tom mentioned.

"She'll do some writing, learn some maths and hopefully make a few friends."

"Hopefully?" He scoffed, "she's a friendly kid. Carissa will have no problem making friends." Maggie smiled at his statement but her smile quickly dropped when he continued, "Don't know where she got that from." He said, becoming more serious.

She knew it wasn't a joke or his humour. The mother-daughter duo were different. The young girl could speak to anyone and it wouldn't come off as mean or rude or cold. The older woman couldn't go a day with out a line of Tokyo or a glass or two of liquor of any sort. One was nice and pleasant to be around the other... wasn't.

Everyone saw the difference, Tommy was just the one who told her what they saw. Carissa was more like her father and Tommy knew that with only knowing what Polly and Ada told him.

"Come on, you're the host." Maggie said after a moment of silence. She changed the subject, sober her knowing that a fight this early on in the night would be bad.

"You go on." he waved her off.

"Thomas, come on, you have guests... family." She knew the next words that were to come out of his mouth were going to be unpleasant so she cut him off, "Ada's here, with Karl. Everyone's here and they are waiting for the host." She walked toward the party.

Tommy took a drag, "I know Ada's here."

"You are so fucking boring." She said, before slamming the door.

—

    "So what do you want me to say to 'er?" Ada asked her brother once he finally slipped back in to the party.

Tom stood with his sister, "Just talk to her. No one can get through to her. Tell her i had no choice."

"Not even Mags." Ada asked, concerned. Maybe Pol and Maggie weren't always on the best terms — especially recently — but her aunt always valued her children's words.

The Shelby man scoffed, "Margaret? Come on, Ada. She doesn't care." He muttered.

Ada didn't respond to that. She glared at him before she saw the same concern in his eyes as her own and softened her gaze.

This was the worst Ada had seen in a while. Tom and Pol were each other's other half. They understood each other. They were honest and the other's word always matter to the latter. She walked into the golden pub and saw Polly laughing loudly — and drunkly — at one of Lovelocks awful jokes. And then she left her as soon as Tommy approached.

She nodded as he spoke, "I appreciate this."

As Ada and Tommy split ways, Maggie had found someone to talk to. Carissa was with Esme and the other older kids that joined, as well as Karl.

The man's name was James and he was brilliant to talk to — or maybe that's the drink speaking for her. He made her laugh — or maybe it was the many lines of cocaine making her giggle loudly.

She slurred, "You are extremely handsome."

"And you are extremely beautiful." He smirked as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself closer

Maggie ran a hand through his hair, "Me and you are going to get on well, Jamie."

"I think so too." He said, resting his hands on his waist.

They both were unaware of the glare from John, "Who the fuck does he think he is?"

"Leave her be John." She muttered as Karl sat on her lap. Katie and Carissa were dancing, constantly bumping into others. They didn't care as they laughed madly.

"Why don't I get us some more drinks and then we can head to yours?" She smiled, softly. She saw his eyes light up at the last part of her question and took that as a yes.

She pushed through the crowd, passing her daughter. As she did she ruffled her hair. The girl felt her mother behind her and grabbed her hand. Katie grabbed her other hand before they both made Maggie twirl them. They let go after spinning too many times and went back to the table.

The Gray found herself at the bar for the twentieth time tonight. "Hello, can I have another whiskey and a gin please." The bartender nodded to the Gray woman. Maggie waited and while she did she found her cousin by herself. "Why are you on your lonesome?"

The Shelby woman sighed as she heard her drunken voice, "Your mum's not herself." Ada tried to get through to her.

"I know. I just... mum does things on her own and doesn't want anyone's help but when she needs help I never know how to help." She slurred out, her head slowly falling down onto the filthy wet countertop.

Ada said, "You do know how to help her, Mags."

"How?"

She pulled her cousin up by the collar, "Talk."

Maggie's red eyes stared back at Ada's, "You tried, it doesnt work."

"That's cause I'm not you. You can get through to anyone, drunk or sober. Either by being fucking annoying or just stupid." Ada looked at the woman, "best you talk to her in the morning."

Margaret's eyes lit up at the sight of drinks, "If I see the morning. Got a man to be seeing now." She nodded to the bartender and turned around. When she saw James, he wasn't alone.

It was with someone else. And that wasn't even the worst part. He was being led to the dance floor by her mum. Her own mother!

She groaned at the sight. No one wants to see their parent with some in that way. In a drunk, fun, sexual way. Maggie down both drinks while trying to keep her eyes off the sight, but she couldn't.

He was with her mother. Her mother was with a guy that she was going to go home with. Her eyes scanned the room and was met with Tommy's. He was no more impressed by this than she was. "What the fuck?" She mouthed to Tommy across the room. He turned and sat down, facing away from the dance floor.

They smiled and laughed and whispered in each other's ears.

Maggie groaned again, louder. She turned back to her cousin, "My mother, she won't be seeing the bloody morning by the looks of it." Ada laughed at the woman as she ordered a drink. Ada patted her on the shoulder, before going over to the table where the brother's sat at.

Turning her head the other side of her, she saw Lizzie Stark. John's ex-fiancée, Tom's whore, Maggie's childhood friend and Carissa's inspiration — hopefully not career wise.

"Hello beautiful Liz." She caught her attention.

"Hello drunk Mag." Lizzie grinned. They were in different classes and never spoke much but they both became closer when they both left school at around fourteen.

"I have a question."

"I love your drunk questions, hit me." The Stark woman turned fully toward the woman. There was a point when she tried help Maggie with her drinking and drug problem but soon she found out that she was not the one that could help her.

"Have you ever been with a woman?"

This was a question that threw Lizzie off but it definitely wasn't the honest and unexpected question to leave the Gray's mouth, "no..."

"Not even with a man and his wife?"

"No Maggie, never found myself in that situation." She was invested in where this was going to go.

"'Cause I was thinking; women..." Maggie started, trying to find good words but the liquor was fucking with her head. "Women are... do you want to fuck me Lizzie?"

Now that was probably the most honest and unexpected question to leave her mouth.

Lizzie sat there with a shocked expression. It's wasn't the first time someone had been this frank with her, but it was the first time a woman had been blunt with her.

"I don't...fuck woman, Mag." She stated, still comprehending what was leaving her mouth, "but I appreciate the request."

"I don't think I do either but I just think woman must be better than men if there are brothels." Maggie slurred out downing a stray drink, which was probably not the best idea. Lizzie burst out laughing at the woman, "like woman must be better at sex if they have brothels. Men would live at them if they could."

"No, I get ya, I see your point." She couldn't stop laughing. She could always count on Margaret Gray to give her an interesting conversation.

"I love your hair. And your outfit. I'm gonna rob that off you soon." Maggie cut in, randomly.

"Thanks for the heads up." Lizzie too a drag from her almost forgotten cigarette.

"So you're sure you don't want to come over tonight."

Lizzie stared at the clearly drunk woman. She didn't sleep with women and she loved Maggie like a friend. A friend who was always there, drunk or sober, whether she was going through something of her own or not. But for some reason she considered it.

Lizzie downed her drink and another Arthur had left behind, "I really don't know my answer."

"So that could be a yes?" Maggie asked.

Lizzie looked at her, pointing her finger, "And it could be a no?"

"Will you need a few drinks to help give you courage?"

"Definitely."

And after many, many, many drinks, Lizzie was super drunk as was Maggie. Polly had left ages ago with James. Esme was gone with the kids, including Cara as she was promised a sleepover with Katie. Tom was no where in sight. Arthur and John and some other blinders were dotted around the pub that was still quite busy. It wasn't even midnight yet.

The next morning was quiet, compared to last night. The sun shone through the living room window. There was no heat from the sun that stayed in the Birmingham sky. The two women lay on the floor, covered by a thin white blanket.

Breaking the silence, Maggie yawned loudly making Lizzie groan, "I have a raging headache and your dramatic yawning is not helping."

"And your scratchy voice is not helping me."

They sat in silence again. Maggie suddenly felt Lizzie tense up beside her, "Did we actually... did we last night?"

"From what I remember... I think so." Maggie responded. Lizzie laughed loudly, before Maggie slapped her, "Hush, head's broken."

"Maggie, I've known ya years and we did that." Lizzie chuckled, looking around the room.

"I know."

"Maggie, listen, you and I fucked." She stated slowly to the relaxed woman, who lay with her eyes closed.

"Yeah." Then something in her head clicked. She shot up, sitting up, "What the fuck? You and me? Lizzie and Maggie? I and- we actually-" Lizzie got a stitch form laughing at her panic but soon calm down seeing how distress the Gray woman really was, "Lizzie I don't have many friends, that is pathetic to say but it's true. God, my only other friends are my fucking family, thats even worse. I can't lose you."

"You aren't gonna lose me.You are my friend, I am yours. No need to panic. It was one time, it didn't ruin anything, if anything we are closer but not in this way." Maggie nodded at her words, "now, onto why we are here, are women better?"

Maggie relaxed a bit, "From what I remember... I'd say so."

"Alright, you got answer, now get dressed before Carrie and Katie find a way to cause more trouble than John and Arthur." Lizzie got up gathering her clothes from last night.

"Are you stupid?" She caught her attention, "wear something of mine, you'll be freezing in that."

"I already was gonna steal your clothes. You're insulting my intelligence Mag" she shouted making her way to the bedroom. Maggie buried her head in the couch, needing something to get over this hangover instantly.

She almost ruined her friendship with Lizzie, probably her only friend. She didn't know what urged her to do that. She didn't like Lizzie in that way, she knew that for certain. But she did want to know if she liked women, and now she still wasn't certain on her answer. Drunk Maggie probably asked the Stark woman because she trusted her.

"How do I look?"

"Like a woman who didn't get pissed drunk last night and works in a fancy department store in Paris." Maggie smiled.

Liz pointed at the girl with a grin, "That's what I like to hear, where's your hairbrush?" She searched the room before looking to Mags who just gave a shrug.

"How do you own clothes like this anyway?" Lizzie gave up and made her way across teh room which was the small kitchen. She put the kettle on the stove.

"Robbed it off Ada maybe? Or a gift? I really have no clue."

"Hope I don't run into her then." She made her way around the kitchen as Maggie went to her room to change.

She put on a dress, similar to the one last night, expect it was sage green and went to her ankles and the sleeves were longer and a bit more secure.

"I've made you a cup of tea. I've left some biscuits out too."

"Thank you Liz."

"No bother."

—

The only cure for a hangover that worked for Maggie was more alcohol, so now she walked to the Garrison before she had to pick her her daughter.

It was still early in the morning so an empty pub is what she expected but it was not what she saw, "What the fuck is going on?" Maggie muttered to herself. The pub was full of young men. She tried to find a familiar face and once she did she marched to over to them.

"Hello Mags." Finn greeted, taking a drag.

"Why is there so many people?" Finn didn't reply and instead pointed to the snug, where a man in his early twenties exited from.

His cousin sighed dramatically as stomped off toward the private room. Maggie entered the room, seeing her three older cousins sat there. Relaxed and unbothered. They didn't take notice to the woman's presence. She cleared her throat getting their attention.

"Is this auditions for my new husband?" She joked, grabbing a glass from the table. She downed it quickly, and slammed the glass back on the wooden surface.

"Its-." John was immediately cut off by the girl.

"I really want to care John but I can't." She tilted her head to her cousin.

"Your head sore?" Tom asked, she nodded, "Then I wouldn't be picking up Cara any time soon." Maggie didn't question him. She guessed they had an energy boost with the help of some sugar. Esme was doing god's work.

Maggie peaked out the door again, looking at the men, "So no new husbands?"

"No, just the dead one." Tom spoke.

Uncalled for. "At least I was married. Wouldn't be surprised if Finn married before you did." Maggie snapped back.

"We've got work to do." Tom said, sick of her already.

Maggie grinned, "Okay, I'll keep the men out there company then."

"No you won't." Arthur pointed his finger at the girl, with a strict look of his face.

"Right then, I get no fun." She muttered just loud enough for the three to hear.

"No fun last night?" John asked, smirking.

"Oh, I had lots of fun last night John." She smiled, as his smirk dropped, "lots."

—

NOTES — Micheal is going to make his debut very (very) soon.
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