AFTER STORY ONESHOT ;
GROW UP // HYUNHO

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Hyunjin wasn't quite sure when his feelings for Minho began to run a bit deeper. It felt as if one minute they were just friends, close, but not necessarily intimate. However, something changed somewhere along that thin line between simple friendship and something so much more than that. Something switched within the younger male's brain, leaving Hyunjin confused beyond belief. His life before Supernova was, frankly, a bit blurry to him now, and though he'd had your average middle school romances with girls here and there, he knew that he'd never been in love, nor had he ever felt the way that he did about Minho before in his entire life. Everything was new, and though he didn't know where it spurred from, -Hyunjin knew enough about it to fear it.

Those feelings. . . He didn't see them as being wrong when it came to his friends. Changbin and Felix, -they were clearly happy together, and Hyunjin would never be the one to take that sense of joy and love from them. He was excited for them as any good friend would be, excited that two people he cared for found solace in one another's arms and found love in a world like theirs. The same could be said for Seungmin and Jeongin. Hyunjin was happy for them, and he wished them all the best. If they made one another happy, the raven haired male truly believed that it just wasn't his place to say whether or not that was right or wrong. It wasn't his business in the slightest.

Even so, despite his acceptance of those around him, Hyunjin was having a very hard time processing that he himself could be having those types of feelings for someone of the same sex, -not to mention the fact that it was also his partner within Supernova. If he confessed and Minho just didn't feel the that way in return, nothing would ever be the same between them ever again. They could pretend that nothing changed, but they'd both know deep down that tables had been turned, lines had been crossed, and Minho would never be able to look at Hyunjin and see him as the same person he'd always thought him to be.

"Hey Seungmin," Hyunjin said, "are you busy at the moment?"

"I'm about to watch a movie with Jeongin," the redhead answered, "but, if you need my help with something, he won't mind waiting a little bit."

"Seungmin," Woojin sighed as he poured himself a glass of water from the kitchen sink, "we just had this conversation last night, -you can't always speak for Jeongin. He has a voice of his own."

"He's right though," the youngest male interjected himself at just the right time, "I won't mind, I promise. If you need his help with something, I'll let you borrow him for a little while."

"Borrow me? Is that an implication that you see me as a possession or an object?" Seungmin furrowed his brows at Jeongin's choice of wording.

"No, Minnie," his boyfriend sighed in response, "it was just. . . You know what, never mind, the point is that you can go help Hyunjin and I won't mind waiting a little bit before starting the movie up. It'll give me more time to set everything up for us anyway."

"He was being playful and flirty, Seungmin," Woojin sighed again, "he didn't mean it like you're an object, he meant it as in "please bring him back and don't hog all of his time.""

"Don't speak for him," the redhead smirked, "he has a voice of his own, Woojin."

The elder male remained unphased by the younger's attempt at throwing his own words back in his face.

"I'll be quick," Hyunjin promised, cutting things off before anything could escalate, and with that, he ushered Seungmin outside with him so that they could have a quick conversation out of earshot from everyone else.

Changbin and Felix were up in the mountains again, their favorite place to spend time together because of the peaceful atmosphere. The older of the two was still much more comfortable in his own skin when he was surrounded by things that he knew for certain would never judge him. Things like trees, mountain streams, woodland creatures, and Lee Felix. Woojin and Jeongin were in the kitchen, and the smaller boy was being lectured on how to assert himself in front of Seungmin (yet again) to his utter dismay as the sound of popcorn popping as it cooked in the microwave sounded throughout the space. Chan and Jisung were in their room playing a video game that the Australian had picked up in the city the night before, Red was out doing something mysterious (like always), and Minho was taking a nap on Hyunjin's bed, which was becoming a frequent pattern for him.

He said that it was because he found his partner's bed to be more comfortable, but Hyunjin had tested that theory, and if anything, he'd found that Minho's was the better of the two. Even so, he never said anything of it, because Hyunjin didn't mind Minho sleeping in his bed if it meant that the elder male could get the proper rest that he needed. Plus, Hyunjin couldn't help but to admire Minho in those moments, when his hair would fall messily into his face and his breathing was steady. . . He just looked so peaceful, and that put Hyunjin into a state of serenity as well. He looked so calm and restful, which was exactly what he deserved after being the best partner that the younger male could have ever asked for. The least Hyunjin could do for him was let Minho sleep in his bed.

"Don't get offended when I ask this, because I don't mean anything bad by it, but. . . Are you gay?" The raven haired male inquired.

"No offense taken," Seungmin responded quickly, "gay isn't an insult, it's either a word to describe being joyful or a term used for someone that likes the same sex. There's nothing wrong with either of those things, therefore, there's no reason for me to be offended by the question. As for whether or not I am, -I don't really know. I'm in a gay relationship, but the brain works on spectrums, so who's to say?"

"So then, being gay is. . . Completely natural? It's somewhere in the brain?" Hyunjin dared, creeping closer to that ledge of outing himself (or at least his speculations regarding his own sexual orientation, if nothing else.)

"Homosexuality has been studied in thousands of non-human animals. It happens in nature, therefore it is natural. But even if it wasn't, does it really matter what two people do in their own time?" Seungmin shrugged his shoulders.

"Elaborate, please," the elder male requested.

"There's lots of things in the world that aren't natural that we, as humans, do every single day. We don't live and thrive in the wilderness anymore. People are very good at only abiding by what's "natural" or "unnatural" when they, personally, see something as being weird or disturbing. Their opinions have biases just like everyone else's, and at the end of the day, it's no one else's business. If Jeongin and I have anal sex in our own room, on our own time, with consent from both parties, -it's no one's job to tell us that we can't do that. We're not hurting anyone, we're both enjoying ourselves, and it doesn't effect anyone other than us. People want to police our lives and they want their narrative to be the one that's spun the most, but there's no fun in that. Diversity is the flavor of life, after all. Overall, what I'm getting at here is that you don't need the world's permission to love or be intimate with someone, and as soon as you stop searching for those blessings, you'll feel ten times more free," Seungmin did just as was asked of him, and he elaborated on his words in an effortless stream of consciousnesses.

Hyunjin swallowed thickly.

"So then. . . How do you get over it? You know, the feeling that there's something wrong with you for something that you didn't even get to choose?" He asked, his throat getting tighter with each word.

"You train yourself to not give a fuck," Seungmin answered bluntly, "there's always going to be people in the world who won't like you, whether it's because of your skin color, who you love, what things you're interested in, -they'll find a way to hate you no matter what you do. So you find a way to not care."

The elder male smiled at the redhead's words.

"Thank, Seungmin. So much."

He didn't hug the younger boy because he knew that Seungmin wasn't fond of physical touch (unless it came from Jeongin, who he most certainly was not.)

"I really appreciate you taking the time to talk to me," Hyunjin stated fervently.

"No problem," the shorter male answered, reaching out to turn the doorknob so that he could head back inside and watch a movie with his lover.

Before he did so, however, he paused and turned back. He wondered if he should say what was on the tip of his tongue, but in the end, he decided that he would take that chance. After all, it wasn't very often that he was wrong about anything. . .

"Minho," Seungmin said, "he likes you too."

Hyunjin said nothing in return as his lips parted slightly and his eyes widened a bit, and Seungmin said nothing more, instead opting for actually opening the door that time around, stepping inside, leaving Hyunjin behind to ponder on his words.

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"I have a question for you," Jeongin grinned, sliding into the seat next to Minho at the kitchen table.

The brunette looked up from his turkey sandwich, chewing slowly before swallowing down the food in his mouth.

"Okay," he replied eventually, "what's up?"

He wasted no time in getting straight to the point, not bothering with any small talk beforehand.

"Do you love Hyunjin?" The younger male asked, not sugarcoating a single thing (a habit that he was picking up from Seungmin.)

"Of course I do," Minho replied, "I love everyone in Supernova. You guys are my family."

"That's cute, but that's not what I meant," Jeongin answered, refusing to lose sight of his intent for asking the question in the first place.

"Then what?" The brunette sitting beside of him asked, furrowing his brows in confusion, although he had a sneaking suspicion that he knew where the conversation was veering towards.

"I meant are you in love with Hyunjin," Jeongin expanded upon his question, and Minho felt the knots in his stomach tighten.

He just stared at the younger male for a few prolonged seconds, wondering how he should answer a question like that. It was pretty clear by the fact that he was asking in the first place that he already knew the answer, so Minho suspected that he was just trying to confirm his suspicions (or Seungmin's suspicions.)

The way he felt about Hyunjin was special, undoubtedly so, but it felt wrong of him to express his inner feelings to someone other than the boy they were directed at. That just didn't feel very appropriate to him in any way whatsoever.

". . . I like the way he smells," Minho replied softly.

Jeongin's eyes narrowed at the answer. He was taken aback by it considering the fact that it virtually had nothing to do with anything a all. It just felt weird for Minho to say something so off the wall.

"But are you in love with him?" The younger male asked again.

"When I figure out out," Minho said softly, "you won't be the first to know, Jeongin."

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Under the stars, Hyunjin laid on blades of vibrantly evergreen grass that kept him from just resting in dirt that would attach itself to his clothing. The shimmering astronomical objects above him glittered and shimmered brightly in the obsidian expanse, moonlight spilling down in milky rays to alight to Earth's surface with it's borrowed glow. It wasn't very often that Hyunjin sneaked away to the backyard in the middle of the night to stare up at the stars, but he'd been doing it a lot more recently. They knew all his secrets. . . Of course, as badly as he wanted them to be able to do so, they couldn't solve his problems for him. That was something that he would have to do for himself.

The more he thought about it, the more unfair he thought it to be. He didn't mean to fall head over heels in love with Lee Minho. Of course he didn't, because that just complicated everything between them and left him exactly where he currently was, lying outside at half past midnight staring up at the sky begging the expanse above him for answers that it would never be able to provide him with. Hyunjin hadn't meant to catch feelings, but there had never been a warning symbol for such things. He really had no way of knowing that that was where things between them would end up.

He should have known, though. Those early signs. . . He knew now that he should have listened to them, and he should have pushed away so that his feelings wouldn't blossom any further. After all, no good could possibly come from them as far as he was concerned. In his mind, there was such a slim chance that Minho could ever feel the same way that Hyunjin was hardly even willing to think about confessing in the first place. It just wasn't worth the pain that would come along with it.

Love at first sight? Absolutely not. It was far from that. Hyunjin had fallen for Minho in slow-motion. It was drawn out, completely expected by those around him, and it happened at an excruciating pace, which only made it that much harder to watch, and even harder to live through.

It was unfair. All of it. Every last step. The way his adoration grew over time was hauntingly beautiful, as he went from giggling at Minho's silly jokes to bursting out into laughter with love in his brown eyes whenever the elder male did anything even relatively funny. If he could watch his life back like a movie, notice those shifts, go back in time and not allow himself to repeat those same things, -everything would be a hell of a lot easier. He wouldn't let his gaze drift to Minho's bed in the middle of the night, he wouldn't ever have laid with him so closely when his body temperature was out of wack from the usage of his powers. . . He wouldn't have fallen for Lee Minho if he knew what was good for him.

But it was a little late for that, and he knew that deep down.

Run your fingers through my hair, look deep into my eyes, and tell me that you love me like the sun loves the moon,  just this once. . . You don't even have to mean it. . .

As Hyunjin laid there under the sky, the stars reflecting off of his eyes like the city lights had shimmered in Minho's every fucking time, the raven haired male begged the universe to take his feelings away. What good were they if they would never be reciprocated? They'd never be spoken of anyway, so why not just steal them away and let him rest easily at night? Why was it him that had to suffer silently in that way?

Touch me, kiss me, love me down and tell me that I'm the only person you can see. . . Even if you've got eyes in the back of your head. . .

"Are you okay, Hyunjin?" Minho's voice rang out, startling the younger male a bit.

Sitting up, the younger male positioned himself comfortably before he said anything in response.

"Fine," he assured, lying through his teeth, "just. . . Thinking."

Minho sat down in the grass beside of them, and Hyunjin's fragile heart skipped a beat when their arms brushed against one another's, skin against skin, bristling in the low moonlight.

"It's just kind of chilly out here," the older boy noted, "so I figured I'd come check on you. You've been out here for a pretty long time."

Turning to the side, Hyunjin curved his hand to fit the contour of Minho's neck. Focusing his power, he let warmth flow through his fingertips and palm, and with that, the brunette's body loosened with the heat.

"Thanks," Minho reached up, placing his hand over top of Hyunjin's own as he smiled softly, much to the younger male's surprise.

They stayed like that for a bit, waiting on bated breath until the raven haired boy finally pulled away, put space between them, and did his best to keep the conversation going.

"Thank you for coming to check on me," he prefaced, "but I'm fine, -really. I just needed to clear my head, you know?"

"It just feels different these days," Minho replied, and he almost came to regret those words as soon as they came out a bit carelessly.

Hyunjin knew that he was right, but he played dumb anyway.

"Different?" He raised an eyebrow, "how so?"

"Well you've always done this," Minho said, "coming out here to look up at the sky when you need to break away. You've always done that when you needed to put distance between yourself and the rest of the world. But you never put distance between us, Hyunjin."

"Is there distance between us?" The younger male played coy, though he knew the answer was unequivocally yes, because he'd been the one to put that space there between them in the first place.

"Too much," the elder male answered, "and it feels wrong. You always used to come to me when something was on your mind, because you trusted me enough and your partner and as your friend. . . But something there has changed. You won't be honest with me anymore, and I don't know why. Whatever it is though, I wish you'd just let me in so that we could fix it, Hyunjin. We've had arguments and we've fought before, and you know we're good at working things out as soon as we stop keeping each other at distances and just talk. So can we please just do that now?"

There was a pleading edge to Minho's voice that Hyunjin hated to hear, and even more so he hated being the direct cause of it.

"This time is just different," Hyunjin said softly, "I can't talk with you about this without ruining the balance we have, so I want to keep it to myself, and when I figure myself out, then I'll come back to you."

I always do, don't I, Minho? I always come back to you. . . I'll always reach for you. . .

"If you don't want to tell me or talk to me about it, -that's okay. I won't make you. But I. . . I'm just sorry that you don't feel like you can trust me like that anymore. And if I did something to put that rift between us, then I really hope you'll tell me one day so that I can fix it," Minho requested softly.

"It's not. . . You. Well, it is, but it's not, and I know that doesn't make any sense, but I. . . I don't know. I just want to be us and I don't want to hurt the balance we have. It works for us, and it always has. If I ruin that, then it'll always be on me, and I'll miss the way you love me, even if it's not the way I really want."

He knew he'd said to much, but what else could he do? It was right there on the tip of his tongue, burning him up, and the relief he felt when it finally came out was indescribable. Of course, a new anxiety took its place almost instantly, but the weight that had been lifted off of him in that moment made him feel as if he'd been reborn.

"How do you want it?" Minho's voice lowered as he met Hyunjin's eyes, and unwaveringly so.

"In whatever way I can have it, because it's you," the younger boy answered, his words coming out in just above a whisper.

It's always been you. . .

Minho took a chance. With all of his inner courage compiled, he pressed his lips to Hyunjin's, and he felt the temperature change as the younger male's body flushed. It was good, so good, and Hyunjin could feel it in the marrow of his bones. He had the world right there in his gentle hands, heating up slowly, adrenaline pumping. . . He held it on a string. Minho laid Hyunjin back on the soft grass, the blades tickling the lobes of the younger male's ears as their lips moves in sync, filled to the brim with unbridled passion and desire. Minho tasted of the future, and Hyunjin tasted of the present.

Minho's hands held the younger male firmly, but there was softness to his grip, -the same softness that the brunette always carried with him everywhere. Hyunjin's hands held the elder male desperately, but there was a gentle loosening each time he took a breath in, reminding Minho that he was as free as he could ever be when they were together.

You taste like forever. . . Like early mornings in the same bed with golden rays of sunlight streaming in through the blinds, like late night conversations filled with hope for the future that we'll be spending together, like the night sky you look at so fondly with it's everlasting infinity and the stars that shine so brightly just for you. . .

With his hands buried in Hyunjin's hair, Minho smiled at the boy beneath him.

"I'm in love with you, Hyunjin," he breathed the words out like he'd been waiting an infinity do so, -and perhaps he had.

"I'm in love with you too, Minho," the younger male replied, and the warmth in his veins stayed consistent, warming the both of them.

Moving over to the side and lying down beside of his partner, in more ways than one now it seemed, Hyunjin caught sight of the glittering reflections in his lover's eyes.

And the shimmering stars in Minho's gaze whispered to him that he'd finally done something one hundred percent right. . .

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