ˏˋ°36*➷ 𝐀𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮
╰┈➤ ❝ [ All of you, all of me (Intertwined) ] ❞
KIM JI-AN SMILED WIDELY AS SHE looked around her room, taking in the sight of the new decor. The finishing touches had just been added and the girl couldn't be happier. Some things had been removed and others added. The space by her window was organized with her art supplies, where she had a foldable painting easel in the corner, one she could adjust however she wanted based on her needs. Her bed had been pushed to the wall, posters of her new favorite series decorating that part of the room.
On both sides of her vanity, two matching canvases Ji-an had painted were hung. The edges of her mirror were no longer framed by pictures, instead she had placed a large cork board on the wall beside her bedroom door, now displaying the pictures.
Ji-an still didn't have the guts to open the box she had sealed months ago. It felt unsettling staring at all the pictures without any sight of Lee Su-ho, but she didn't know if she was ready to have them there again. She also couldn't ignore how odd it felt that there were no pictures of Seo-jun too. It hadn't bothered her before, but now that Seo-jun had found his way back into her life, it felt wrong not to have any saved memory of him. There hadn't been many thoughts in her mind when she got rid of those old pictures. Driven by hurt and betrayal, she hoped that destroying pieces of frozen memories would push away the pain of losing Seo-jun's friendship.
It didn't help and it made her regret her actions. Now, all she had were the current moments she experienced, moments that would become old memories slowly fading in the back of her mind. Things were finally calming down and she wanted to cherish the last bit she had left of her teenage years. Soon, they'll be graduating and things would change. The knowledge scared her but she knew that's how life worked. Nothing lasted forever. And she wanted those moments frozen in time.
So, she grabbed her old polaroid camera, the one that had been collecting dust after her infatuation with snapping pictures had drifted away. She wanted to capture new memories. She wanted to stare at that board, and instead of feeling sad at the life she missed having, she felt happy about the life she was living.
Sighing, Ji-an sat on her bed. She wiped the lens of the camera, noticing there were still a few pictures left on the film. Just like she figured, when she snapped a picture, it emerged blurred, the film damaged over time. Placing the camera on her nightstand, she made a mental note to go to the store soon to buy more film. Then her eyes fell on her suitcase which she had forgotten to hide away underneath her bed while organizing her room. Things had been very different back when her mother gave her no choice but to come back. Ji-an had no idea what was coming for her at that time.
The already complicated relationship between her and her parents, only worsened when she returned to Seoul. Her mother had never hesitated to wound Ji-an with her words; it was something the girl grew used to. She tried to not let them affect her anymore, but it still hurt to know her mother didn't love her. Then it wasn't just words, it had turned physical. Ji-an could clearly remember that day when she had arrived home, the house empty with just her mother and a glass of wine left behind. The woman had seen the pictures circulating around, which made it look like Ji-an and Seo-jun were kissing.
She was enraged. The woman not only threw insults at her own daughter but also got her hands on her. After that, the arguments turned harsher, with the occasional slap as a final say. Rare were the times when she felt like she belonged in her own house, except for those quiet moments with Chin-sun, and the dumb arguments with her brother. Despite this, Ji-an only felt free when her parents weren't home. That was why she was really looking forward to this upcoming week. With Su-ho's father's support, the company increased its contracts and sales, meaning her parents could get back to their old habits of going on business trips for days or even weeks.
It made Ji-an happy, feeling like she could finally breathe in the space she called home. As promising as the new week sounded, Ji-an was also a little anxious because there was an important math exam she had to do that Thursday. She really hoped for a good score since it could significantly affect her grade in the class. Lee Su-ho had been helping her a lot, and it made her entirely grateful to him. Ji-an didn't know what she'd do if she didn't have him tutoring her.
Content with herself, Ji-an laid on her bed, eyes set on the ceiling above her. The soft music playing from her speaker relaxed her and she found herself smiling for no particular reason. Ji-an felt alone, but in the best way possible. Perhaps returning to Seoul wasn't as bad as she initially thought. For the first time in ages, she didn't think changes were bad. Frankly, she was looking forward to what may come next.
↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷
The week started not that different from the others. Ji-an woke up, followed her usual morning routine by showering, brushing her teeth, and getting her hair and makeup done. She greeted Chin-sun and unlike most times, she ate breakfast, relishing the fact her parents were gone. Now that her brother began working, he wakes up roughly around the same time she did, so they ate breakfast together. So far, that Monday was just another tiring day after the short-lived happiness of the weekend. Her first few classes resumed on the subjects they had left off the week before, which Ji-an didn't mind because she found the lessons interesting.
The hours went by and Ji-an made her way to science class. That day they had lab, so she took a seat on her assigned spot and left her backpack on the floor beside her chair. When she straightened up, her brows furrowed at the items in front of her. There was a bright post-it note and underneath a chocolate bar, her favorite kind to be exact. Surprised, she removed the note and read Han Seo-jun's familiar messy handwriting. "Don't blow up the classroom, sweetheart."
Ji-an blinked, taken aback. She didn't have this class with him. How did he know that was her seat? Also, why would he leave her a note? And her favorite chocolate? She looked around, feeling relieved that the classroom was still pretty empty and no one from her table had yet arrived. Grabbing the note and chocolate bar, she carefully placed them inside her backpack. Ji-an chuckled to herself, thinking of what Seo-jun wrote. She didn't know what compelled him to do that, but if his intention was to make her smile, he had succeeded.
"What are you so happy about?" One of her group members asked as she sat down. "It's Monday."
Ji-an shrugged, "Just having a good day."
The next morning, Ji-an sat on the edge of Soo-ah's desk as she talked to her friends. Jug-yeong was telling them about how Hyung-gin had asked her to be his girlfriend and how she said yes. The three were more than happy for the girl. These past months they had been keeping track on how their relationship was evolving, advising Jug-yeong to figure out what she wanted. Before it was time for Mr. Han to enter the classroom, Ji-an went back to her seat because she didn't want to get scolded. Han Seo-jun was already at his own desk and when he saw her getting closer, he stretched his arm forward, an iced coffee in his hand.
Ji-an frowned, suspiciously glancing at the cup before making eye contact with Seo-jun. "Is it poisoned?"
Seo-jun raised his eyebrows, a little offended by the thought. "Why I would waste a perfectly good coffee by poisoning it?"
The girl shook her head but accepted the coffee. She sat down, turning back on her seat with her arms resting on Seo-jun's desk as she stared at the boy. He also bought a coffee for himself, calmly sipping on the drink as he stared at something on his phone. Ji-an watched him, growing confused at his behavior. He had never done something like that before. It made her wonder why he would go out of his way to do these things for her. "Why did you buy this for me?"
Seo-jun looked up from his phone and gave her a soft smile. "Because I wanted to."
Ji-an wasn't sure what answer she was expecting from him, but it surely wasn't that. She looked back at the cup in her desk and then at the boy. Her cheeks warmed up feeling flustered at the kind gesture. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, sweetheart."
By the middle of the week, Ji-an's initial anxiety about her upcoming exam increased. She had confidence in herself, but she also didn't. What if the stuff she has been studying didn't end in the exam? What if she wasn't prepared enough and failed? Throughout the day, she found herself spacing out quite often. It wasn't like she wanted to, she just couldn't help but overthink. And as she stood outside in gym class, with the bright sun glaring down on her, she failed to see the ball flying straight her way from the other side of the field. There was not enough time to react, and all she felt was the ball colliding with her head.
She stumbled a little from the forceful impact. Wincing, she placed her hand on her head as it throbbed in pain. In seconds, her friends along with Seo-jun were crowding around her in concern. From across the field, Lee Su-ho saw the small commotion. Everything inside him screamed at him to go there and make sure she was okay, but he stood his ground. He'll make sure she was okay later, not feeling like his presence was needed at the moment.
"Oh my gosh," Soo-ah said, her eyes wide.
Soo-jin touched Ji-an's arm. "Are you okay?"
Ji-an slightly nodded, but she felt like her head was going to explode. Carefully, Seo-jun removed her hand from her head, inspecting her from any wounds. He took her chin in his hand to get her to look at him. "Sweetheart, are you okay?
Ji-an squinted her eyes, the brightness of the sun almost blinding her while she stared up at Seo-jun. "My head hurts, but it's okay. I'm fine."
Not believing her words, Seo-jun turned to her friends. "I'll take her to the nurse just in case."
"Are you sure? We can take her." Jug-yeong answered, concern on her face.
Seo-jun shook his head. "I don't mind. " Wrapping his arm around Ji-an waist, he guided her out of the field, but not without first letting the teacher know what happened. Once they had permission, Seo-jun took them back inside the building. Ji-an almost sighed in relief when she no longer felt the sun glaring at her.
The boy noticed her relieved expression as they stepped inside the cool shaded hallway. "Feel better?"
She nodded, though her head was still throbbing. "A little. Thanks, Seo-jun."
Seo-jun looked down at her, his expression softening. "No problem, sweetheart. You should've been paying more attention, you know."
"Ah, really?" She rolled her eyes but it lacked the energy. "I was just lost in thought. The math exam I have tomorrow has been stressing me out."
Seo-jun's lips curled into a smile, his thumb brushing her side gently. "I understand. Just avoid getting hit by flying balls, yeah? I don't like seeing you hurt."
Ji-an's eyes widened a little at his confession, and she found herself looking away from Seo-jun. She didn't know what to say, so she just nodded her head. The rest of the way to the nurse's office, Seo-jun kept his arm around her waist. Ji-an didn't know why he kept his hand there when she could perfectly walk on her own, but she also didn't know why she hadn't told him to remove it. His presence was just comforting, and she found herself leaning more into his side as they walked.
When they entered the small, quiet nurse's office, he guided her to one of the recovery couches, and helped her sit down. "Stay here. I'll get the nurse." He said softly, brushing a few strands of hair away from her face. Ji-an felt her face heat up at the gentle action. Had Seo-jun always been this way?
A minute or two later, after a brief conversation with the nurse, Seo-jun returned with an ice pack in hand. Sitting beside Ji-an, he carefully placed it against her head. "Hold this here."
Ji-an's hand came into contact with Seo-jun's as she raised her hand to hold the ice pack. His hand lingered there for a moment, not really wanting to pull away from the warmth of her skin. Clearing his throat, he slowly let go but he stayed seated, his gaze steady on her face. She was so breathtaking. Every day he fell deeper and deeper in love.
"You really didn't have to do all this." Ji-an murmured, looking away from his intense gaze.
Seo-jun chuckled. "I know. But I wanted to."
Ji-an's heart skipped a beat and her grip on the ice pack slightly faltered. His words hung between them, and Ji-an didn't know how to feel. She'd been so skeptical when he first said he'd always cared about her, but moments like this were more than enough proof of his care. They broke down her walls, leaving her vulnerable and uncertain. She still had questions about the past that she wanted answers to, and in times like this they resurfaced in her mind, making her hesitate into fully letting Seo-jun in. But lately, it was becoming harder and harder to keep him outside the barriers of her heart.
"You're full of surprises." Ji-an said with a small smile.
Seo-jun smirked, nudging her shoulder with his own. "Gotta keep you on your toes."
"Oh, you are." She laughed. "I thought I knew what things to expect from you, but you've always been kind of unpredictable."
"Is that good or bad?" The boy asked, growing a bit nervous. He's been trying to make his feelings more clear lately, and he wasn't sure if his gestures were working or not. Though, she has been blushing around him more, something that didn't happen before. So he'll take that as progress.
"A bit of both." Ji-an responded, the ache in her head gradually easing. That day Seo-jun stayed by her side until Ji-an felt better and could return to class. The fact he chose to stay with her warmed her heart.
Thursday quickly came around, and Ji-an was a nervous wreck. The night before she spent it studying for her exam and she was almost completely sure she'd do well, but she was still anxious about it. It wasn't new of her to overthink. It was kind of inevitable. No matter how many times she told herself everything would be fine, it just didn't work. That day, Seo-jun walked with her to the classroom. He didn't say much but his presence was already helping her calm down. When they reached the door, Seo-jun took her arm, stopping her from walking inside.
"Wait. I have something for you." Reaching inside the pocket of his blazer, he took out a small figurine and handed it to her. "Just a little something for good luck. As long as you have it with you, you won't fail that exam."
Ji-an looked down at her open palm. The figurine was of a cute dog. It had a paint brush in its mouth and all its fur was covered in different splashes of paint, all of different colors. Ji-an had never received something like that and she couldn't help but pout at the cuteness of it.
She looked at Seo-jun and then back at the figurine on her hand. "This is the cutest thing ever, Seo-jun." She grinned. "Thank you. I love it."
The boy placed his hands in his pockets with a satisfied smile. "You're welcome, sweetheart."
With the small figurine on her desk, Ji-an went over her notes, feeling a lot better now that she had the cute dog figurine with her. She wanted to refresh her mind one last time before the exam. Her notes had a mix of both Su-ho's handwriting and hers given he had helped her study. As she went over the problems, she paused, her eyes stopping at the little stars drawn beside the problems she had gotten correct. Her heart ache a little, recalling the day when Lee Su-ho changed the hearts to stars. She remembered crying that night after the study session. It was almost unbelievable how such small thing could cause her pain. Now, she felt nostalgia as she looked at the stars, knowing what would've been there instead.
Almost as if the boy knew Ji-an was thinking about him, her phone vibrated with a new message from Su-ho.
—Lee Su-ho
I've seen how hard you've worked, I know you got this. I know how nerve racking it can be, but remember that those emotions don't control you. Just believe in yourself and don't stress too much. No matter what score you get, I'll always be proud of you, Ji-an : )
Ji-an's lips broke into a smile as she read the message. She read it a couple of times before sending him a quick reply thanking him. Now that she read that encouraging text from Su-ho, and the cute figurine Seo-jun gifted her as a good luck charm, Ji-an felt more at ease. Her nerves subsided and instead she felt a new found determination when she began the exam. She could do it.
↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷
Finally, it was Friday. Kim Ji-an would've called the week an average one, days almost blurring together, save for Han Seo-jun. The consistency of his kind, thoughtful gestures made her days a little brighter, happier, and warmer. A part of her wondered if he would do something else before the weekend arrived, leaving her a little nervous with anticipation for what he might do.
Mindlessly, Ji-an scrolled through her phone, feeling a little bored as the class waited for Mr. Han. The girl chuckled to herself as she read through someone's random post. Her finger was about to scroll up when a new message showed up on her screen, making her pause. She read the message and let out a small sigh. It was Han Seo-jun. He was letting her know he'd be absent that day because something had come up and his mom needed help at the house. After the day of their first presentation months ago, when Seo-jun had been sick, the boy made a habit of letting Ji-an know if he'll be absent for the day. Not wanting a repeat of what happened last time.
Ji-an frowned as she stared at the screen, with a new emotion bubbling inside her that left her feeling conflicted. She was disappointed. It was difficult to ignore how her heart dropped when she saw his message. Now, she felt like there was nothing to look forward to that day, causing a soft sigh to escape her lips. Once she had replied to Seo-jun's message, Ji-an placed her phone in her pocket. Her leg bounced as she had a realization. She'd been looking forward to seeing Seo-jun, perhaps even excited at the thought that he might do something sweet for her. This new realization left her confused and a little worried as to what it might mean.
She quickly pushed away the thoughts when Mr. Han entered the classroom, choosing to focus on the lesson. Quickly the hours went by and lunch rolled around. Ji-an stood in line with her tray in hand, as she filled her plate with food her mind drifted to Seo-jun. The food being served was one of Seo-jun's favorite meals, she remembered weeks ago him excitedly claiming how it had been so long since it had been served in the cafeteria. Ji-an knew that if the boy was present he would've been over the moon. Once her tray was full, Ji-an made her way to the lunch table where her friends were already sitting.
"Took you long enough," Soo-ah said as Ji-an set her tray on the table and sat down. The group had already been eating for a while and had been eagerly waiting for Ji-an to arrive. Mostly because they wanted to interrogate her.
"Sorry, someone in line was taking their sweet time grabbing the food." Ji-an murmured with a roll of her eyes. The girl really lacked patience, easily growing frustrated by any inconvenience.
Jug-yeong chuckled, relating to the person Ji-an was talking about. "I can't blame them. I'm very indecisive myself."
Soo-jin nodded. "She's not lying. I had to fill her tray myself because she was spending way too long deciding."
From beside Soo-ah, Tae-hoon spoke, "The food is free. Just fill up your plates with everything, and if you don't like something, give it to me." The words were said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, making the girls shake their heads. Tae-hoon continued stuffing his face with more food, totally unbothered.
Soo-ah frowned at her boyfriend. "You're lucky you're cute."
Ji-an shook her head with a small smile. She let out an appreciative hum as she took a bite of food. The meal surprisingly had a lot of flavor for school lunch, and she couldn't blame Seo-jun for liking it, the meal was actually one of the best the cafeteria had to offer. It wasn't that Ji-an was a picky eater, but sometimes some of the cafeteria food didn't look or taste good, and that was a lot to say considering the girl ate about anything.
"So, are you going to tell us what's got you down today?" Soo-jin being the most impatient, couldn't help but ask. She took a sip of her drink, her sharp eyes analyzing Ji-an.
The girl looked up from her tray confused. "What do you mean?"
"You've been sighing a lot," Jug-yeong pointed out. In fact, they all had noticed Ji-an's change in mood after their first class. She had been very cheery when she first got to school, but now she was a lot quieter, constantly sighing or frowning.
Soo-ah nodded. "Yeah, spill it."
"I really don't know what you guys are talking about. I'm fine. It's also Friday, and I'm definitely happy about that." And it was true, Ji-an had no idea about what her friends meant. She didn't feel sad and nothing was bothering her—or so she said to herself. If most, she just wanted to get home and enjoy her weekend.
Her friends shared a knowing look, and Tae-hoon feeling left out, whispered not so discreetly. "What's going on?"
Soo-ah patted her boyfriend's arm comfortingly. Then she turned her attention to Ji-an and smiled mischievously. "I noticed that Han Seo-jun is absent today."
Ji-an's eyebrows furrowed. "Yeah, and?"
"And you've been spending a lot of time with him lately." Soo-jin stated.
"And? Let me know when you guys are done stating the obvious. Seriously, what does this have to do with my supposed change in mood?" The girl was beginning to grow frustrated.
"I don't know you tell us." Soo-ah shrugged.
Jug-yeong leaned forward. "You can be honest with us. Are you missing Han Seo-jun?"
Ji-an looked at her friends like they had grown two heads. The idea sounded ridiculous to her, even though a part of her knew they were right. "You've officially lost me. I'm not missing Seo-jun. So let's drop the conversation here."
It might've been a lie. No matter how crazy the situation seemed to Ji-an, she couldn't ignore the fact that she had been disappointed when she received that message from Seo-jun saying he'll be absent. But she couldn't admit that to her friends because saying it out loud meant she had grown attached to Seo-jun, and that fact scared her. Ji-an wanted—needed to be independent. She couldn't afford getting hurt again. Though, it seemed more challenging than she ever anticipated because lately Seo-jun always seemed to be around making her days a little brighter, and making it harder not to miss his presence.
He was also very supportive after what happened between her and Lee Su-ho, constantly being there for her and distracting her from the current situation in her life. It was clear to Ji-an that he cares about her and the girl really cherished him for his help, no matter what happened in the past.
↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷
The next day Ji-an received a call from the modeling agency. They claimed they needed her there urgently because the model that was supposed to go didn't show up and they needed someone to replace her. Most of the details were skipped as she got told they would tell her everything once she got there. Originally, Ji-an was going to deny the offer because she'd already told herself she would relax and enjoy her weekend. But her manager seemed very desperate and offered to pay double since the call was last minute. Who was Ji-an to deny such an offer?
So the girl quickly showered, brushed her hair, and applied a little bit of make up. Her brother was home so she took advantage of it and begged him to drive her to the agency, which he surprisingly agreed to. On the ride there, Ji-an looked out the passenger window. The day was a little chilly, the sun hidden by gray clouds covering the sky. Ji-an was never a fan of cloudy days unless she was planning on staying home all day. It just made her feel sad. She liked seeing the sun and the bright sky, it gave her energy to wake up and face the new day with more energy.
Thanking her brother, Ji-an got out of the car. She quickly walked inside the tall building and made her way to the elevator. Pressing the button with her floor number, she waited nervously. After what had happened last time at the mall with Su-ho and Seo-jun, Ji-an hasn't been the biggest fan of getting on elevators, scared she would get stuck inside the metal box again, but this time alone. When the doors opened, Ji-an immediately walked out and made her way to the photography studio they told her to go.
When she walked inside the room her manager was instantly by her side. "Great, you're here. Thank you again for coming. I know it was unexpected but you were the only person we could think of that would be perfect for this shoot."
Ji-an offered a polite smile. "It's okay. Thank you for taking me into consideration."
"Of course." The woman smiled before grabbing her arm to guide her to where the makeup artists were. "Now, let's get you ready. We have to update some of our new items for both woman's and men's wear, so you'll be working with a partner."
Ji-an nodded as her manager explained. In her years of modeling, Ji-an had done a lot of photoshoots and plenty of them were couple shoots, so she was unfazed by the news. Ji-an was quickly handed the first set of clothes she'd be wearing. It was a long baby pink dress with long sleeves paired with white heels. The material was very comfortable which never failed to make Ji-an happy. There was nothing worse than having to wear an uncomfortable outfit while posing under multiple warm lamps.
Once her makeup and hair were done, Ji-an was quickly guided to the set where the pictures would be taken. The girl was curious, wondering who her partner was going to be. She hoped the guy was professional and knew what he was doing. Unfortunately, in many of her past couple photoshoots, she had been paired with guys that weren't exactly in the same level of experience as her which made things awkward.
Her manager turned to her. "Okay, so here's your partner for today. You two are some of our best models, so I know you'll do great together." She pointed to where her partner was standing and walked away. When Ji-an's eyes fell on the tall figure beside the small brown couch, her heart dropped. There standing in all his glory was Han Seo-jun.
——————— ↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ—————
—Joy
It had been a while since I left you guys in a cliffhanger heheh
Poor Ji-an is so confused about what she's beginning to feel and it'll only get worse after this. 🤭
I hope you guys are enjoying all these cute moments because I sure do. There's no angst in this chapter too.
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