【 CHAPTER TEN 】

TSU'TEY'S paint-covered fingers glided along Ruth's skin under the soft glow of the burning fire they sat near in Hometree. They faced each other as they sat on the ground, legs crossed while the future Olo'eyktan worked diligently on her ceremonial paint while keeping close attention to detail. 

His touch was like lightning against her body as his gaze remained focused on the swirls and shapes he painted all over her, while her mind remained wholly focused on him. Her eyes followed him with gentle admiration as he moved, so focused on her and where he touched her and the marks that were left behind. He was gentle as if she were the most delicate of flowers he didn't want to wilt. Part of her wished his hands would wander everywhere.

She was scared in the simplest of terms for what she would soon take part in. The statistical reality that even the Na'vi themselves sometimes didn't survive the dream hunt was enough the strike fear into her bones, but she'd come too far already to back down. She would be one of the people soon, she'd told herself anytime she grew nervous. She'd trained hard and remained steadfast.

You will not yield. She said it over and over anytime the fear crept up on her.

After dipping his fingers into the bowl-fashioned gourd full of white-tinted body paint, Tsu'tey's fingers wandered to her face, the only portion of her skin that hadn't already been covered. His three fingers moved together to make symmetrical patterns on either side of her face, forcing her to make an effort to hide the shivers his touch caused. 

He gently brushed aside a long braid that normally rested against her cheek, one of many she'd gained as her hair had grown while being let free. Some of the women of the clan had been kind enough to fashion braids all throughout her hair over the past months, adding beads and even a small feather.

Since their talk at site 26, the previous few days have been different. She remained warm of heart anytime she recalled their conversation, that he indeed felt the same she did. 

As for him, Tsu'tey did not carry himself so much in his typical stoic indifference, instead appearing in some way to have found some peace. She wasn't sure what he might have said to Sylwanin or what she in turn had to say to him, but the communion he'd held with her had made a change. They also had their admittance to desires that were once stifled, but that was an entirely different beast to be tackled on its own.

He stood first after the painting was finished, offering a hand to help her up. She took it, rising to her feet but never taking her eyes away from him. The two of them lingered for a moment, looking into each other's eyes as they sat a mere half-foot apart. 

She thought she saw a thousand unspoken words in the gaze he held with her, her tongue desiring to speak her own. Yet, this ceremony she would soon take part in could very well kill her. Perhaps each others presence and silent knowledge was all they needed before she took her last step toward becoming one of the people.

He dipped his head by way of acknowledgment, giving a gentle squeeze to her hand she had forgotten he hadn't let go of. He pulled away and stepped off to begin leading her toward the ceremony.

The enclave deep in the bowels of Hometree that Ruth was led to by Tsu'tey was dim and looming, the gentle glow of sprouted fungus within the crevices of the tree's wood providing natural lanterns. The members of the clan that were present chanted softly in unison, each of them donning ceremonial articles of clothing and headpieces that looked much like the varying species of animals that were important in Na'vi culture. From what Ruth could tell, many elders of the clan were of important roles. Mo'at was present as well, which was to be expected with her role as the Tsahik.

Ruth halted at the entrance of the enclave as if waiting for permission to enter, all eyes turning to her as her heart pounded.

Mo'at stepped toward her, the elder woman's touch gentle yet assertive as she gripped Ruth's arm to lead her toward the center of the gathered elders. Ruth gave Tsu'tey one last glance before crossing the threshold to follow the Tsahik. Once surrounded, a press to the top of her shoulder by Mo'at had the younger woman beginning to lower herself to the ground, where she crossed her legs and tail around herself as she awaited the ceremony's commencement.

Soon enough, Jake arrived, painted in swirls similar to Ruth's. It was a relief to know she wouldn't be doing this alone, something the two of them had discussed before entering the link chambers that day. They only met gazes momentarily before he was seated next to her by Mo'at, the anticipation obvious in his expression yet he seemed to be handling his anxiety better than she. His tail must have been flicking nervously, as it brushed against Ruth's a few times as they waited.

The chanting of the gathered clan members was beginning to sound like a lullaby to Ruth the longer it went on. One of the elders, donning a vividly colored headdress mimicking the crest of the gigantic Hammerhead, stepped forward to kneel before Jake and Ruth while holding a clay jar in his hand. When he reached inside and produced a glowing worm that writhed between his thumb and finger, Ruth again reminded herself there was no turning back now.

Hovering his hand over their heads, the two avatars shared a glance before Jake ultimately opened his mouth and allowed for the insect to be placed on his tongue. The elder lowered it, and Jake's eyes squinted in anticipation of the wiggling insect. His gagging and immediate repulsion to the worm made Ruth dread her turn, which was only moments later. Her features contorted into disgust as she forced herself to accept it as well.

As the two avatars were trying to get over their disgust, a basket was produced from the shadows of the enclave and handed to Mo'at, who pulled the lid away before carefully lowering her hand inside. As Ruth still tried to choke down the glowing worm she'd just ingested, the Tsahik produced the most terrifying arachnoid the woman had ever seen. Jet black, with hints of crimson on its plated exoskeleton. It wreathed angrily in the grip of the elder woman, who held it by a finger and a thumb at a portion of its armored tail that the wicked stinger couldn't reach.

Jake was stung first, his howl of immediate agony sending him toppling onto his back as he writhed in pain on the ground. Ruth's eyes grew wide as her ears pinned back in fear while looking up to Mo'at, who held the arachnoid at the ready. A singular nod of assurance from the older woman was the last thing Ruth saw before the stinger slid under her skin, turning her vision black.

REALITY seemed to pull apart into layers, her mind expanding in ways she hadn't imagined possible. On earth, she'd indulged a handful of times in street drugs that many college students were using to stay awake for weeks on end in order to excel in their studies, a fad that Ruth had quickly deterred away from.

This was different, less abrasive. It was as if she could see time and space itself, see the very roots of every plant and tree on the moon, where they connected, and how. Ruth also saw the literal bearing hearts of those around her, as if their souls inhabited the bodies like vessels, which were also outlined in a shimmer of energy. 

The higher the psychedelic trip went her soul seemed to ascend to a higher area than where her body was, higher and higher until she was somehow in the forest. But not as she saw it every day. It was in every shade of light that the naked eye didn't see. She still saw the outlines over everything around her, the roots of the trees intertwining with one another and spanning an innumerable amount of connections. Somewhere, she heard her heart pounding.

A deafening roar caused the embodiment of her consciousness to turn.

Midnight fangs like carved obsidian, a paddled tail, and splayed quills were enough for Ruth to know what she saw, the proud and pronounced musculature of the Palulukan coming into view amidst the sway of all she saw and felt. The fearsome beast prowled around her, never taking its eye away as it stalked her.

Even though she should have been terrified to see a Thanator in front of her, something was different. She saw it as an extension of herself, strangely, like there was some kindred connection between them. Something Tsu'tey had told her in preparation for the ceremony. The predator didn't launch at her the way one had done when Jake had been chased off into the forest, the ferocious beast in pursuit of him as a meal. This one seemed to be waiting. Aware. She inched closer, cautious, to see that its queue seemed to extend toward her. An invitation.

She cocked her head at the sight before reaching a hand forward. Looking to her right as she reached to retrieve her braid to perhaps establish a bond, she was stunned to see the beast had all but disappeared once she looked back. With it, it would seem, did her dream as well.

AS night fell, the two took off to the skies.

Pandora glowed gently from where Ruth balanced on the back of Denver, toes gripping the wood of the saddle as she gazed down at the quickly passing forest below. Her braided hair battered in the wind behind her as she couldn't get past her ceremony, past the Thanator that had shown itself to her and beckoned to bond before disappearing. 

The elder's reaction to her spirit animal had been cryptic and unsettling at first, the whispers among them all setting a pit of worry inside her until she was informed that few found themselves with the Palulukan as their spirit animal. That those who have the beast as their spirit animal were destined to become great warriors, with brave hearts and minds. Ruth wasn't sure she believed all that bullshit, but she had only nodded in understanding. Mo'at had begun to speak to her in reverence then, something that soon spread to the rest of the clan.

But Jake's spirit animal had been of far more significance, it seemed. He saw Toruk, the Great Leonoptryx. An incredibly important if not the most important figure in Na'vi culture, second only to Eywa. Needless to say, the elders and Tsahik had been astonished to see them both with the animals that were of the rarest variety among a Na'vi's dream hunt, the reverence toward Jake overshadowing her entirely once discovered. 

She didn't mind. She'd survived and lived to tell about it. That was all that mattered to her.

After Ruth had spent an entire day recovering from the difficult ceremony to allow the venom to run its course through her body, she rose, still covered in ceremonial paint, to be accepted by the clan in a different ceremony. 

She had stood before Eytukan alongside Jake, the Olo'eyktan accepting them both as one of the people. The two avatars had stood side by side, each with the hand of the clan leader resting on their shoulders. Neytiri had been close to Ruth, the smile of the woman bright and flashing between her and Jake. The rest of the clan gathered around the two of them had been surreal. A symbol of their acceptance of them as part of the people. It had almost been enough to bring tears to Ruth's eyes.

Now, she was Omaticaya. One foot in the world as a human, one as an Avatar. She had wondered for quite some time if it would all somehow remain that way despite her knowing that it would all have to change at some point, one way or another.

No matter how pleased she was and relieved to have made it this far, the woman was still worried. Now she'd completed the task Grace had set before her, to integrate herself among the clan, what would she do now? Continue to live a life through her avatar among the Omaticaya as she had in the past months? Would Grace allow that?

Tsu'tey called from her right, waving for her to follow him. She blinked a few times as she brushed away the thoughts that had been plaguing her mind while her hand readjusted on Denver's queue binder she gripped. The smile on his features when he'd looked at her from his own Ikran warmed her heart, but she remained troubled. Echoing a call back to him by way of acknowledgment, Ruth banked on the back of Denver to follow him in a steady descent.

They landed near one of the many branches of the river delta, leaving the Ikran to wander nearby as they found a place near the steadily flowing river to sit. The water just below the short bank they wandered to glowed brightly with bioluminescent algae and plant life. A school of glowing fish seemed to favor the roots that spread out from the bank like fingers. Ruth looked down with a smile as she watched them dart back and forth as her worries began to retreat to the back of her mind.

Tsu'tey's hand interlacing with hers quickly drew her attention from the glowing water below as her gaze snapped to meet his. He looked down to her with admiration in his eyes as a small smirk pulled at the corner of his lips.

"What of my spirit animal?" She asked, the first to speak. "The elders seemed surprised. Why?"

Tsu'tey tilted his head as his free hand gently brushed away one of her small braids resting on her cheek to behind her ear in an affectionate way. "Palulukan is the animal of a warrior," he told her. "As a dreamwalker, they were confused about why you saw him. But he chose you because of who you are. You are brave and will fight for what is right and what you love."

"But wouldn't any warrior see it in their dream hunt, then?" She countered, confused. Her hand continued to hold his, their digits beginning to interlace in the way they'd learned was best.

"He is different," Tsu'tey went on to explain. "It is known he only shows himself to those who have fought great battles beyond ones with a bow or knife," he poked her pointedly in the chest directly where her heart was. "Ones of the heart. He must have seen your past and thought you worthy."

She frowned, knowing she indeed had a rough life on earth with a handful of negative ones on Pandora. Perhaps she did earn the right to hold the Thanator as a symbol of her courage, the fight she'd given to remain afloat amidst the hardships of her life.

"You did everything required of a young Na'vi to become a woman of the clan," he stated, referring to her efforts to complete the tasks set forth for her to become one of the people, that of which she was now.

"I did," she sighed as her eyes lowered to look at their connected hands. She'd let herself hear it from her own lips.

"As you already know, you may now make your bow of the wood of Hometree," he murmured, reminding her of the customs of the clan once a man or woman completed their rite of passage. She already knew what else it all entailed, what she was entitled to as a clan member. Only one of the rights would remain unused.

His thumb began to rub circles on her hand in a comforting way as they stood close, remaining quiet for a while as the forest behind them remained alive with a peaceful hum of life. Her eyes remained focused off in the distance on the delta while her heart silently fought the battle of resisting everything she wanted to say, everything she wanted from him. 

She could choose a mate now as one of the people, but the only man she wanted was him. Knowing everything they knew, what was there to do?

The harsh reality it was that she would continue her life as a member of Grace's team, a scientist on Pandora here for the simple task of learning this world and the culture of the race of humanoids that lived there. She would continue to study lab samples and perform documentation, a far cry from what she was experiencing now. 

She'd sooner disappear into the forests with an exo-pack before being shoved back into a cryo-chamber and shipped back to Earth.

"Will we continue this forbidden arrangement?" She almost spat out the words, angry and wounded over the situation they found themselves in and the reality of their impossible longing for one another. The thought of seeing him forced to take Neytiri as his mate, who also longed for another, was unbearable. "As one of the people, I am allowed to choose a mate. And I choose you." It was her turn to start poking fingers, that of which she prodded against his chest.

The pain in his eyes was evident as she confronted the subject again. His ears pinned back as he sighed. "I want you as well but I must remain loyal to my duty as the next Olo'eyktan," he seemed to struggle saying, "To take Neytiri as my mate. I would be throwing everything away."

"Neytiri and Jake long for each other," Ruth uttered, lips tight as her tail thrashed angrily. Some part of her hoped that exposing the truth, if he didn't already know, would somehow change everything. She'd already thrown out all rational sense of what her actions were doing. She supposed that was what budding love did to a person in an impossible situation. "Is there no other option for you to remain Olo'eyktan and she Tsahik, but with different mates?"

Boy, was she upsetting the balance of things.

"The clan does not practice that," Tsu'tey replied softly. "Tsahik and Olo'eyktan are to be mates."

Fuck, she was really going to mess things up. At least she wouldn't be alone, considering she knew Jake wanted Neytiri all the same as she wanted Tsu'tey and was just as willing as she to upset that balance. She wouldn't be all to blame for it. But the repercussions would remain as they were.

Over the obstacles and the complicated reality of it all, she let go of the inhibitions that told her that just going for it was a bad idea. To hell with Grace's warning, with what they would face tomorrow. She would choose to hold this moment with him and cherish it for however long she could. 

Closing the distance between them was easier than breathing. As their lips connected, it only took a few seconds for Tsu'tey's hand to wander and grasp her waist, as if he'd pictured it countless times, pulling her closer until their bodies pressed against one another. His skin was warm against hers and inviting. He reached to cup her cheek and Ruth melted inside as the slightest of a moan emanated in her throat, her tail flicking. Her heart leaped, her core aching as she craved more of him. His groans as their lips worked against one another made it obvious that he felt the same.

Boy, did she fuck up. Well, perhaps not entirely, if things didn't escalate beyond this. 

She wanted to mate with him right there, establish an emotional connection she as a human would never have experienced. Sex was sex, something she'd taken part in as a human, but never with her avatar. The thought of Tsu'tey being her only, then and there, almost sent her over the edge. The last shred of reason was the only thing that kept her anchored.

The only thing that was preventing it from happening was Tsu'tey's control, which he displayed when she began pulling her braid from behind her head to offer it to him. He gently pushed it away, but continued to kiss her.

"Not now," he uttered between their kissing. His hand still gripped her waist.

"Will we find a way?" She uttered softly. They had to. She had utterly fallen for him and hoped that it was the same for him. The stoic war party leader was abrasive and reserved. Someone she'd come to learn was a much different man than she'd previously known.

"Yes," he uttered between the breaths he took, the moments when their lips didn't touch. "We will— find a way."