Reviewer: June june_berrin

Book: The Legacy of the White Dragon

Author: kimmerman

Blurb: 2/5

The blurb was good but gave away too much about the plot. Instead of writing like " proud and short-tempered crown princess to a mature and intelligent young ruler and then quickly escalate into the globally feared ''The dragon queen of east'' after an incident changed her life '.

You can just say she was a proud short-tempered crown princess to a globally feared, ruthless woman known as the 'dragon queen of east.' My point is that you don't need to say like from this she went to that and then to this.

And when you mentioned her husbands, most of the readers would assume that she changed because of something which happened between her spouses.
So I suggest you edit out some information, everything else is great. I also suggest that you add any dialogues which would describe the character so that your blurb could be more attractive and interesting to the readers.

Cover: 1/5

If I am going to be honest then the cover needs a lot of work bud. The blue colour theme is just overally vibrant so I really recommend you change that colour. The cover gives off a different vibe and sets the wrong mood for the story. The colours should be changed since it is a fantasy story. Your cover colours don't match at all. The font used is also not the one someone would use for a fantasy story. The picture quality is poor and could turn off a lot of readers. In conclusion I strongly recommend you change the entire cover. And maybe use dark and royalty colours or add a white dragon flying in the sky.

Title: 3/5

The title matched the story well but it is not very appealing. Such kinds of titles are a bit common on Wattpad and since your story has a dark outlook I suggest you use some other words for your title like 'The Dragon's cry' (that was a bit crappy but I hope you get the point) or like 'White Dragon's Legacy'. The one I suggested sets the mood a bit better so take it as an example and if you need help there are fantasy title generators on google which could help.

Readers Interaction: 2/5

There isn't a lot of interaction except from some of your club members.

Story plot: 10/15

The plot is beautiful but the way you delivered it to the readers needs a bit more work and has a lot of room for improvement. The plot is not that common but is often one of the hardest types to write, since you are using an alternate universe and none of your readers will be familiar with it in the beginning so you need to slowly introduce each element of your universe so the readers could familarise, for example the Wizarding World from Harry Potter. The author of that book, J.K Rowling slowly introduced each element to the readers, so it was easier to understand the story.

Characters: 6/10

The characters are well developed and portayed. You have managed to capture and portray their emotions very well. And has given them unique personalities and their own flaws which makes them stand out. The only problem was that there were a lot of characters and that the readers might have confusions or will forget them so just keep this in mind the next time when you are writing.

Grammar: 8/10

The grammar was in point and there were no typos found. There were only a few punctuation problems which could be easily corrected with some proofreading. Also when you are writing a dialogue, write it separately so that the readers could understand better.

Way of writing: 3/10

When you copied and pasted to Wattpad it came out broken into several small paragraphs, many sentences were cut in the middle. This could irritate and also onfuse the readers very fastly. And I have spotted it from the first chapter itself, the first chapter is more like a deciding factor where the reader decides to continue reading or not so I suggest you immediately correct it. And if there were any other issues then I am sorry it is really difficult to find because of this problem. And from what I have understood your writing style is fantastic and your descriptions are beautiful.

Overall: 8/10

The cover, title and blurb need a lot of work, so when I first saw it I thought this story was not going to be good and already lost interest but read it only because I had to review it. But honestly your writing style is incredible and could attract a lot of readers. Just edit out your story and it will have a lot of reads and support. The book has a lot of pontential and I can see that you have taken a lot of effort to write it so don't ever stop writing it and complete this 2022 year resolution of yours ma Indian friend.

Total: 43/75

Best Wishes

__________________●○●○_______________

We hope you will take the reviews into consideration and will make your work best.

Please don't forget to follow your reviewer.

Thank you for visiting our shop !!