Reviewer : Elena LUVB0TIC

Book : Destined To Me

Author : Naveena_bts

Description: 3/5 
First, I want to deliberately explain the element of mystery from your description that was very much enjoyable. This sudden thrilling scene will welcome the readers and start their journey with a strong impression! A strong impression is crucial, but having the reader be able to grasp on a story's general plot is as important. Now, I noticed that you dedicated the very first chapter and turned it into a description, but the first chapter is not going to be the first thing a reader takes into account when reading a story, they will take a look at the description first, if they don't feel any connection to it then they will leave.

♡ SUGGESTION #1
To sum it up, having a chapter dedicated to explaining the plot of the story is alright. Although, it will be better if you can continue the paragraph with the story's plot written on the first chapter, as a better way to introduce the story to readers.

♡ ERROR#1
Just a reminder that an ellipsis (...) is a punctuation consisting of three dots. It is used to state that the character has omitted something or as a sign if the words are trailing off. Please check if you have used this punctuation properly.

♡ERROR#2
It is possible to place an adverb before a verb, but in the case of the sentence where you used the adverb "painfully" it should be after the verb "sobbed".

Cover: 2/5 
Judging from your description and the story's general plot of Jungkook harming Taehyung and his son because of his mental illness, I would expect the book cover to be filled with a void of darkness. Cropping a picture of Jungkook and Taehyung's lips does not help identify or explain the two main characters to those who are not familiar with their faces. It may be for aesthetic purposes but to present a professional book you need a professional and worthy-looking book cover.The font placement being on the left makes it harder for me to read and does not match the overall color of the cover. Most of the text except from the title are not readable, so change the font color, or increase the size so it appeals to the eye.

♡ SUGGESTION #1
In conclusion, it is not the best work to put in the eyes of many but do seek help from many wonderful graphic shops on this platform, I am sure they will have a perfect cover for you.

Title: ⅗

♡ ERROR#1
To start off, this title is not the most unique and out of the box an author can come up with. Next, there is no clear correlation between "Destined to Me" and the plot describing how Jungkook is changing wnd started hurting Taehyung and their son. I understand that you may be thinking of something straightforward with destiny and love, hence the title. 

♡ ERROR#2
The title itself is grammatically incorrect. The preposition "to" in "Destined to Me" should be replaced by "for". 

♡ SUGGESTION #1
My tip to authors who are struggling with coming up with titles,(trust me, it can be a challenge and I find it difficult too) is to sum up the story in a phrase, or in one sentence. From that sentence, find unique and never-used-before synonym of one certain word you think will represent the story.

First impression: ⅖
The only element that saved the day was probably the description, out of the three important parts of this section (title, book cover and description) I have to say that it lingered in my thoughts; Jungkook's ab*sive behaviour even scared me for a second. Still, it lacks a clear and brief explanation of the story, which you made up in the first chapter but as I mentioned above there will be a slight difference regarding the impact it has towards the readers. Putting that aside, I was sadly not drawn by both your title and book cover. If you enhance and change these two elements then you will create a better strong impression.

Readers Interaction: 5/5
You have gotten yourself some loyal readers, they respond to the story and express how they feel about it. Some readers bombarded the comment section with positivity and motivation which is very wholesome and nice to see!

Story plot: 12/15
Sometimes a simple plot is always best, of course even better when accompanied by skilled writing. "Destined to Me" is a classic but thrilling and mysterious love story between Jungkook and Taehyung. I have come across some books with a similar plot of a person's change to their lover. After reading the 4th chapter, I was convinced that everything will start going downhill for Taekook's relationship. Pacing-wise, the chapters are short in-length but the problem is that the story blasted straight to the memory of their first kiss. The readers can be puzzled if they do not understand the story's context. It would be better if you started with a paragraph explaining Taehyung's suffering and condition, maybe after Jungkook pushed or hurt him, and then continue with the flashback. Since there are already some similarities it is up to you to stir in a certain flair that will separate it from many others.  
 

Plot twist: 8/10 
There was a twist in chapter 5, it confused and shook me. Jungkook as the man planning Taehyung's attack was expected, it should have been bland and straightforward, but it was not, because you picked the right timing. You placed the twist after a romantic and happy time between the two, which made it look unbelievable to the readers. Another rather complicated twist I found was at chapter 16, about Jungkook. Personally, I love this twist and because I did not pay attention to the little details unlike the other readers this seemed to go unnoticed.

♡ ERROR#1
The problem I have with the plot twist is how you delivered and revealed it. It was the most mainstream and unpleasant way of hiding a character's identity to create a mysterious effect.

Here you did:

" Kim Taehyung, he is not like we think sir!! He is the real…"

This seems off especially when you used ellipsis to make his sentence trail off. It does not stir any excitement nor curiosity from the readers.

♡ SUGGESTION #1
Try using a paragraph instead of a dialogue to create the mystery effect I was talking about.

Ex:

Jungkook sat as he observed the moving of the man's lips, carefully churning each of his words. His face was portrayed as cunning and stern as ever, but at the mention of an intriguing yet shocking catch about his dear husband, Jungkook chuckled, his voice echoing.

He will definitely keep a close eye on Taehyung, because what he thought was a weakling, was something more.

Try comparing the short dialogue and this descriptive paragraph, try to be more descriptive of a situation especially when it is nearing a plot twist.

Grammar: 3/10
There may be a lot of mistakes that I cannot mention one by one. Some of them being wrong use of words, wrong word placement, lack of punctuations such as commas and wrong use of other punctuations in a dialogue. I cannot describe all of your mistakes, you just need to go through every chapter and try reading the sentence, try to determine whether it fits and makes sense. That is the first step to catch and fix a grammar error. This is a let down because it truly troubled me when I was trying to read the story thoroughly, sometimes it even stopped me and had to make me think what you really meant. Again, you will definitely improve in the future and I believe that you can work on this aspect and do better!

Emotions and Feel: 7/10
I did feel pain in some parts, specifically the 2nd chapter. It did a beautiful job of describing Taehyung, Jungkook and Minjae's bond. For the rest of the chapters though, the lack of description and play of words was not able to move my heart. I felt bad for Taehyung but it was not to the point where I wanted to jump in the story and beat Jungkook up. Most of the emotions you wanted to deliver, I could only grasp through the dialogues. Why you may ask? because of the many grammatical errors that distracted me from focusing on the sentence's message. All the parts of this review are almost entwined to one another, when one part lacks it will be hard to perfect the other part too.

♡ SUGGESTION #1
If you find it difficult trying to gather words to write a descriptive paragraph, or you just prefer using simpler ones. Simply, make a chapter from a 1st person point of view, it can be Jungkook, Taehyung and even Minjae. Using pronouns like I, me, and my will deliver a much stronger impact.

Character development: 7/10 
So now that the mystery is revealed everything from the start was not Jungkook's fault then. This means that the initial plot of the story being centered around Jungkook's sudden change in their marriage life is not the main conflict anymore. This means that we do not need a character development for Jungkook since he did not do anything wrong from the start( correct me if I am wrong but this is what I understood). For this story is ongoing and that is a problem I encounter in almost every ongoing book I have reviewed. No worries though, there is always a way to ensure a character will not stay static throughout the course of the story.

♡ SUGGESTION #1
This is not going to be an advice on only how you can create a character development but how you can make your character memorable and lovable in the reader's eyes. One thing you should never do is change a character, instead give them a room to grow and become a better person. Take Jeongguk as an example, simply think of what events and what can Taehyung do that would make him realize and nurture his personality to become a good one. 

♡ SUGGESTION #2
Give your character a strong and unique personality, make them memorable by their heroic actions or firm point of view. Strong and unique background stories that supports a character and drives them to strive( which you already have, when you mentioned the incident between Jeongguk and Mia) like it or not, this type of background story is going to break the reader's barrier of painting Jeongguk as the bad guy, they will have hesitant because there is a reason and it lies in his background story.

Way of writing: 7/10
Without the grammar mistakes I think you are a wonderful author with endless talent. You tried to use every element and incorporate them in order to describe a certain scene or character's features. Although, I will definitely recommend to avoid overusing these descriptions about how their eye color looks, or their hair etc. Think out of the box and describe things with figurative language and a way that can blow the reader's mind.

Overall: 7/10
I enjoyed my time reading this book so much I finished it by the 20th chapter( which I rarely do) what I thought was simple and cliche unfolded to a spectacular puzzle full of complexity. Thank you for trusting me as your reviewer and as always take care!

Total: 63/100

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