I followed Frank. Cogs turned in my head and I asked : "Where do you live since your parents... Um..."

"Died?" Frank ended my hesitant sentence. He didn't seem like he would mind a lack of tact. "I've been living with my aunt and uncle for four years now."

I hummed. The both of us eventually arrived at a relatively small but clean house. For some reason, I had expected Frank to live in some dump in a slum, inside a broken car or in an attic he would squat.

"Not what you expected, Way, huh?" Frank said casually bumping my shoulder with his, as if he had heard my thoughts. Maybe he had just looked at my face and saw surprise on it. "Not punk enough?"

"I- uh..." I began.

"C'mon, don't be so tense. You can say it," he said without a care in the world while standing on tiptoe to grab a key under some flowerpot.

I didn't reply. Frank unlocked the front door and stepped inside the house. I hesitated to do the same as I remembered that Frank was supposedly my tormentor and that this invitation seemed slightly suspicious. Frank wanted to tell me 'the whole truth', but that just sounded too good to be true.

"What are you waiting for, Gerard? An invitation?" Frank called.

I narrowed my eyes, guardedly stepping inside. "Aren't your uncle and aunt home? It's Sunday."

Frank closed the door behind me. I looked around. It seemed familiar, but I didn't remember ever coming here. It was just a serious feeling of déjà-vu.

At first sight, it was an ordered house overall. I wouldn't say 'boring' for it sounded too harsh and not so suitable for a home, but the more I looked around, the more appropriate the word sounded.

It was empty, almost... soulless. Nothing was there to make it alive. Something was telling me the owners wouldn't change much about that, even with their presence.

"They're not here - they rarely are. Generally, they're working or out for their own entertainment without me. It's okay, I am not so fond of ballet."

I would have snorted if Frank's point wasn't sad. Maybe he was used to it, but I wasn't. And that made me sad for him. I think... I think my compassion is slowly turning into some form of forgiveness.

The thought of Frank having to bear a whole evening of ballet still made me smile discreetly.

"They cared enough to take me in, but apparently not quite enough to do much more than feeding me on a decent basis and giving me a roof to live under," Frank explained. "It's fine, it's all I really need and ask for."

I found myself wishing to be so emotionally detached in my own life. Frank seemed to be able to numb his own sorrow, loneliness, and his feelings in general, which was something I was terribly envying.

Frank sat down on a couch in the living room and I imitated him, sitting at a reasonable distance from him. Frank scooted a little closer and I didn't dare move away. It didn't matter enough.

"I... I don't know where to start," Frank said, looking at his lap.

"You should start with the beginning. Chronologically, I mean. Frank, I know I suffer from memory loss much heavier than what I was told. Don't sugarcoat it, please. I just learnt about my grandmother's death; there isn't much I can't hear."

Frank hummed, as his own way of saying 'don't be so sure'. "From what I know, you were in love with Lindsey at the time," he began quietly. "You already were the blonde-haired top of the class, the same pain in the ass you were a week ago. You made a lot of efforts for her and you two ended up dating. You were a great couple, and everything was for the best. I think you remember everything until then."

I nodded, drinking all of Frank's words. Something deep down asserted me that he wasn't making up anything.

"Then Helena died, and you had a mental breakdown," Frank stated.

I frowned. "Frank, are you telling me about the near past? I asked you what happened before my coma."

"I am telling you about what happened before your coma. You're living that grief all over again."

"I don't understand. Helena died last week. I just learnt about her death."

Frank seemed genuinely surprised. "That's not true. Helena died a year ago."

My eyes widened. "What? No, that's not possible. A year ago, Helena was alive, and I was in a middle of a yearlong coma."

"Gerard, your coma was brief. It didn't last a year, but a week. What you forgot wasn't before your coma. The year you forgot was the one you supposedly spent in a coma."

I lost composure. My head started buzzing and hurting at Frank's words, like a hammer inside my head was trying to bash my skull from the inside.

"But... But..." I babbled and put my fingertips on my temple to focus. "Hold on. So, all that time that's just a big blackout in my head, all the flashbacks, everything... It was from last year? I didn't spend last year in a coma? I lived it? And I forgot all about it?"

"Basically yes, you did. If I'm correct, your memory loss was provoked by our accident. That accident occurred last year, before summer break. A week before you woke up from your coma."

Oh my God, that's already too much... My head hurts. Now that I think about it, it kind of makes sense. That's why I hadn't lost muscles because of my coma.
But I had things to catch up at school, not because I was in a coma for a year but because I forgot everything about junior year.

"Frank, about Helena... I've been receiving letters from her the past few months. How could she be dead more than a year ago if I received a letter from her two weeks ago?"

"Wait, what? No, Helena is dead. That's not possible. Who sent those letters?"

"I have no idea. One mystery at the time please, my head hurts," I pleaded, rubbing my forehead a little. "What happened after my mental breakdown?"

"You um... You began drowning and drinking," Frank answered. That didn't sound so incoherent as it was exactly what I had been doing for the past few days.

Is my story doomed to repeat itself?

"Your grades suffered from it. You became gloomy and dark. That's when I noticed you," Frank continued. "I recognized pain in your behavior; I had lived it. You confided in me, and I helped you grieve my way, the way I had when my parents died."

Frank's hands shyly reached out for my warmer ones, and I let them be set on top of mine.

"Gee, you were the only one who understood what it felt like, who understood me. You and I were the only ones around who ever felt grief so intensely. We spent more and more time together, as if we had been drawn into each other. Eventually, we fell in love."

My eyes widened slightly and my headache increased. Frank and I? Lovers? Then what I saw in the hallways, a younger Frank pinning me on a locker... The thought made me feel a little bit guilty.

"United by pain and death... That's very poetic when you think about it..." I muttered. Then a thought hit me. "What about Lindsey? The two of us were dating at the time."

"Lindsey disapproved of our friendship because she had guessed somehow that there was much more than friendship between the two of us. Mikey too. They were convinced I was the reason why your grades were dropping. They thought I was destroying you - they still do."

That would explain the intense rivalry between Frank and my brother. I knew how overprotective Mikey could be sometimes. And he blamed Frank for something that I was responsible of.

"You progressively lost touch with Lindsey as you spent more time with me. One day she caught us making out and practically humping each other in a deserted hallway of the school. She dumped you," Frank revealed.

A knot tied in my throat. I cheated on Lindsey? With Frank?! Oh my God... That would also explain why Lindsey have a tense relationship with Frank. He 'stole' me from her. God, is there even one soul on this Earth that doesn't have a grudge on Frank Iero?

"We couldn't stand our homes or our lives anymore. Our reality wasn't good enough for either of us anymore, now that we had a taste of everything we could build together. We were planning on running away. We were about to, and that's when we had the accident. And... About the crash... I... I'm responsible for that. I fell asleep on the wheel. I was exhausted but you were sleeping; I didn't want to wake you up. I'm so sorry."

Frank squeezed my hand gently and I did the same to his to tell him it was okay. "Why didn't you come see me at the hospital, or even at home? You could have texted me or something," I asked.

"Well, I made it out pretty intact of the crash. Just a nasty cut on my eyebrow." Frank pointed at a little scar above his eyebrow. "But I had no idea of what you had become. I'm pretty sure your parents kept you away from me. They held me responsible for everything, including the accident. I mean, they weren't wrong. For a time, I thought you had died in the crash.

"But... But why did you attack me then when I came back to school?" I asked. Frank looked down shamefully, playing nervously with the hems of his hoodie.

"No one told me you were in a hospital, or that you suffered from memory loss," he explained. "When I saw you, you were making out with Lindsey. I immediately thought you were mad at me for the accident, that you didn't love me anymore and that you were back with Lindsey. It hurt me so much. I was infuriated because I felt like I had been played by a man I was ready to give my life for."

I couldn't help but bring my hand to my mouth. Oh my God. This was the biggest misunderstanding ever. "I'm sorry..." I breathed out. "None of that was your fault."

Frank shook his head. "Don't, please don't. I reacted like a total asshole. I felt so betrayed because... you are the only guy I fell so deeply in love with. I thought you didn't love me anymore."

Tears welled in my eyes. I reached out for Frank's hand, but my migraines suddenly got so much worse. I groaned in pain and passed out.

•••

I woke up in the Emptiness. Why?! I didn't fall asleep. I don't remember falling asleep. Wait... Did I faint?

Dream Frank was standing in front of me, wearing his cloak as usual. Something was telling me it wasn't one of my regular visits. This is the end.

Dram Frank smiled at me. He looked so happy. "You did it. You unlocked the door."

A knot formed in my throat. My head was pounding. "I... I did."

"Do you remember now?"

A tear rolled on my cheek. I nodded. An appeased smile appeared on my face. "I remember..."

The infinite darkness of the Emptiness that had worried for so long was lightening. I noticed that I had started glowing. I was wiping away the shadows of ignorance. And then I understood what was happening.

"Your mission is accomplished now," Dream Frank stated. I started panicking a little and clutched the front of his black cloak that stained our whitening surroundings.

"Don't leave me ! Please don't leave me !" I exclaimed.

"Don't worry, I will always be with you. I am a part of you." Dream Frank placed his hand on my heart. "We are two sides of the same coin, remember?"

Tears spilt on my cheeks. I knew I would never talk to him again, or hold him again. I decided to hug him one last time and pulled him in a tight, heartfelt embrace.

"This isn't a goodbye..." he whispered, hugging back. Dream Frank started fading away, like a shadow chased by the light I was emitting. He progressively vanished and I found myself hugging the thin air.

I started glowing much more intensely. The light wiped out everything and felt like it dragged me upwards. I woke up.

•••

Blood rituals involve a symbolic death, and then a rebirth. Evolve or die. As in all things in the natural world, you adapt now and you mutate according to current circumstances.

Even if you know who you are today, you can't predict who you will be tomorrow. You're defined up to now, not beyond.

As for me, I woke up as a different person, and yet I was the same being. The caterpillar had broken its cocoon and evolved into a beautiful butterfly. The greatest. A red monarch.

I was lying on a couch. I looked up and saw Frank look down at me worriedly. Actually, that was an understatement.

"Gerard !" he exclaimed as if he were about to pull me in the tightest hug I had ever received. He didn't though and respected my personal space. Perhaps he was also scared he might break my bones or hurt me more than I appeared to be.

"I'm fine..." I muttered, sitting up on the couch. I was more thoughtful than distraught though. I remembered everything.

Frank sat down next to me after reckoning I wasn't dying. "What the hell was that? Are you alright?"

I nodded. "It was... An ending. And a beginning at the same time. A page being turned. About what you said earlier, just before I passed out..."

I scooted closer to Frank smoothly. "I have always loved you. I had just forgotten about it. I'm sorry."

Frank's mouth opened slightly in shock. I put a hand on his cheek and looked into the eyes I had fallen for a long time ago. "But I remember now."

I leaned forward and kissed Frank. After a few seconds spent in shock, Frank cupped my face in his hands and kissed back. That's when out lips started moving together. Oh, how I missed that familiar feeling.

Then Frank offered to cuddle and accepted in a heartbeat. It was like the good old days. I snuggled closer to Frank.

"I can't promise you that things will be perfect from now on, but I promise I will never leave you again," I said softly. Frank kissed the top of my head.

"Y'know," Frank began. "My father died for my mother. I don't blame him for it. That's true love. And you know, I would really die for you."

"Me too," I said in a heartbeat. "If you died, I'd kill myself in a heartbeat."

Frank laughed bitterly and confessed : I almost did it, you know? When you were gone this summer... I couldn't see you and it tortured me. And one night, I... I almost did it."

My heart skipped a beat. I frowned and looked up at him. "W-what?"

Frank suddenly looked terribly sad. I unglued myself from him and he pulled up the sleeves of his black hoodie, revealing shamefully two massive scars carved on his skin from his wrists to the crook of his elbows.

"They 'saved' me just in time, just to throw me back into my personal Hell," Frank said with an ounce of bitterness and frustration. "We are conjoined. It was a miracle the both of us survived separation. I almost didn't. Fate had decided otherwise, and I woke up in a hospital bed."

I brought my hands to my agape mouth in shock. I remembered that one hour of detention we had spent together, when I had grabbed Frank's forearms and he had grunted in pain. I had hurt his wounds? Oh my God...

"Oh my God..." I breathed out, tears welling in my eyes. Frank pulled his sleeves down.

I gingerly took Frank's hands into my own. "Do you wanna know why our story irremediably repeats itself? Because we are bounded to each other. Our fates. No matter what we do, or how much they try to keep us apart, we'll always find each other. You and I have begun to blur."

Frank gave me a little sad smile. "Isn't that how you found me again?"

I hummed. "Your pain is mine. I think... I think it's called being soulmates."

This time, Frank gave me a warm smile. "Yes, I think this is how they call it," he said softly before connecting out lips in an emotion-filled kiss.

And for the first time, I felt complete. Frank and I had become who we were in my dreams. I didn't ever want to leave this reality he and I had created.

______