DELICATE
FIFTEEN, SUNDAY RESET

holliewelton posted!

LIKED BY: taylorswift and 1,346,985 others

holliewelton: the busiest of  🐝's
tagged: britishvogue

LOAD ALL COMMENTS.

username: oh to be her!!

username1: not sure if I want to date her or be her best mate 🫣
     ↳ holliewelton: down for either...

inezhardy: miss you!!
     ↳ holliewelton: miss u more xx

username2: ❤️❤️

username3: ship her and Jamie Tartt tbf
      ↳ username4: pretty sure she's dating Gus Darwin...

taylorswift: love the shirt !
↳ holliewelton: the queen has spoken !

username5: she must have done a million vogue covers by now!!

harrietjameson: love love you <3
↳ holliewelton: 💘💘

*

I POST TO INSTAGRAM JUST TO LET EVERYONE KNOW I AM INDEED NOT DEAD. I've been pretty off the radar since Monday — many texts left on read, calls sent to voicemail. Work has been hectic — not shocking to anyone when I say that vogue has a extremely tight schedule, so I've been paraded around different places in England in various outfits. Face scrubbed off with makeup and having it slapped back on. From London to the Lake District, I haven't slept in my own bed in days.

The Sunday reset is what I've needed, dressing in my red and blue as I make my way to AFC Richmond's grounds. Having convinced Harriet and Inez to do the same, yet they're not as patriotic about it as me ( at least yet).

As I don my Richmond scarf  that is wrapped over my shoulders over the top of a pair of white trousers and a blue bodysuit. Whereas they stare at me in slight confusion when I stepped out to the car when the driver picked them up on the way.

I haven't spoken to Jamie, nor seen him since Monday — but have I been stalking his constant stream of Instagram  stories mostly consisting of him shirtless in a home gym mirror whilst I lie in bed? maybe, possibly, I'm not telling!

They can tell somethings up, I let slip that Jamie walked home that night ( well, Gus told them but either way they now know ). And they can't let it go, whenever he's brought up in conversation ( they are the ones who bring him up) they watch me, waiting for me to cave or something ( which I don't and I won't).

So when I suggested going to todays match, eyebrows were raised — but I ignore them. When I pick them up and they ask about who Im most excited to see play I reply ' my new best friend Roy' and when they play oasis and other Mancunian artists in the car ride there, I try to act normal.

We walk in, and they're trailing just behind me — and I can't fight the fact that I want to see him, just see him. Not talk to him, not hug him, just a glimpse and I'd be satisfied.

" hey, you guys go and get comfy, I'm just gonna see if I can catch the coach quickly." I tell them,

" off to see number nine?" Inez teases and I shake my head.

" just go before I make you sit in the stands!" I huff and they nod amused with themselves as I turn and make my way towards the changing rooms after pointing them in the direction of the owners box where I know my mum will pester them with a million questions.

Turning the corner, I watch as the team pass me towards the pitch — " go and kick their asses boys!" I call out, they acknowledge me with whoops and calling out my name a couple times with big smiles on their faces. I grin as I continue down the hall until I reach the door to the changing room that stays open — I can hear voices, voices I can make out to be Ted and Jamie.

" I gotta say, man sometimes you remind me of my grandma with the changes hopper." I say as I push my head around the corner enough to hear clearly but not enough to be seen, " you push all the wrong buttons."

" well, then goes about you and me make a deal?" I watch as Jamie sits down, tying his laces as Ted stands and by the expression of his face that I can make out, he's losing his patience.

" okay, I'm listening."

Jamie stands up again " you keep on preaching all of your yeehaw bullshit and in exchange, I'll keep ignoring you because this team is tragic."

I feel a ache in my body slightly. Disappointment probably — that this is the Jamie that still exists inside of him.

" I score all the goals and I'm the only one they come to see. Does that sound fair? Hands in." His tone mocking as the ache grows inside of me.

Ted looks so done, his lips downturned ( I don't think I've ever seen him not with a toothy smile on his face) and I feel stupid, utterly and completely stupid for thinking he was a different person just because of one night.

" you know, I'd like to hash out some of the nuances there but I'm not having the best of days-" he starts, before richmonds resident dickhead cuts him off.

" actually, it's doesn't matter what you say. Cause I'm my head I'm just hearing the crowd cheer my name after I score a goal tonight." I lean my head back against the door, as I hear the screechy deep vocals of Jamie Tartt singing some kind of football chant fills my ears.

I only open my eyes when I hear a small cough and notice beard and a small child stood watching me — I try to scrub the less than happy look off of my face " oh hey, didn't see you there." I say.

I notice the little boy, who like me is donning the Richmond colours " hello there, I'm hollie." I say and he smiles.

" Henry." he introduces himself, I look up to Beard who mouths ' Ted's son' to me as I nod.

I watch as the boy runs in, calling after his dad. I don't know why I don't make an exit for it before anyone sees me but instead I linger in the background as Beard walks in and I just stand in the doorframe.

Jamie meets my gaze and tries to smile, but my expression doesn't shift and instead my eyelids flutter as I roll my eyes, remaining silent. I tear my eyes away and make it my job not to look at him again.

" hey, big guy. There he is. Hey." Ted kneels down to hug his son who I watch as he looks at Jamie with the same sort of awe until a minute or two ago I probably would have aswell.

" Jamie Tartt?" he asks,

I see in my peripheral as Jamie smiles at him "hello little lad."

" would you sign my shirt?" Jamie gives Ted a look and I feel slightly ill, " all right turn around." Jamie says.

Jamie kneels down and begins to write on the back of Henry's shirt " now, next time I score a goal it won't just be for me." He turns Henry around and gives him a small smile.

" it'll be for you too...and for me. But-" he lets his words linger in the air for a moment

" just for us."

Jamie begins to walk out, and his expression shifts when he looks at me. So I swiftly move myself from the door frame I'm leant in and begin to walk down the hallway.

I try to be quick, but with the football stamina he has it takes him little to no time to catch up with me — walking alongside me, like nothings happened at all.

" you buy out the merch stand ay holls?" his tone soft, his voice humorous. And I give nothing, as I fold my arms and continue to walk down the hall — knowing soon enough he'll have to go one way and me fortunately will have to go another.

He leans in, closer to me and despite my annoyance with him he still makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand and goosebumps rise from my skin — " although, I think a number nine shirt would have looked much better on you if I say so myself."

I turn my head to face him, " you are seriously so full of yourself." I tell him, not the silly way I normally would which he catches immediately.

I pick up my pace, losing him as I make my way up to the owners box. His comments still ringing in my head — opening the door as I notice a turn of heads: my mum, Keeley, Higgins, Haz, Inez, and..Gus?

His face is a complete contradictory to the frozen false smiles of the others. I don't even really have time to react as Gus sweeps me up, I only wrap my around his shoulders so gravity doesn't make me fall and crack some bone on the steps.

" surprise." he says, letting me go as I give just as false a smile as the others.

" w-what are you doing here?" I ask as he shrugs.

" I haven't seen you all week, so I thought I'd surprise you here." he says and it's sweet, at least it should be. But it doesn't feel sweet, it feels weird.

I just look at him a little longer with no idea what to do next " that's so kind of you." I say and then begin to walk down to my seat ( which is right by Gus..convenient ay?)

I sit down, my mums hand sits in my lap and I hold her hand as well — tightening the grip slightly as the game begins.

A game in which starts awfully. In the first six minutes the opposition score two goals, within the first ten minutes I'm covering my face with my hands, only looking out the space between the gaps of my fingers. The fans are angry, shouting 'wanker' so loud is reverberated around the entirety of the pitch.

But when Jamie gets the ball, I know are odds of scoring are looking slightly better. I let my hands fall down as I inch closer to the railing and grasp it — " come on Tartt!" I call out as I watch him weave in and out of players so majestically , with such ease — be may be an arsehole but he is bloody gifted when it comes to kicking a ball.

I small squeal exits my mouth as he scores, hands moving from the bar and instead clapping as he does a little victory run around the pitch — but my joy falters when I see him pointing to his back and cheering himself on like the rest of the crowd do idly , I find myself slouching back in the seat as I exhale. Why does he have to be such a knob?

The game continues for a few more minutes, nothing happening to the extent that my heart rate picks up until I watch a player slide tackle Sam which out of my basic understanding of football causes me to shout

" do something about that ref!" I call out, causing a few turning heads from the stands below who probably didn't expect me to be such an avid football fan ( which I didn't really expect either).

There's a small commotion between the two teams before the players eventually given a yellow card — but whilst everyone claps, my eyes remain on the Nigerian player who remains in a huddled position on his side.

" is Sam ok? he's not getting up." I ask to the people I know have no idea what's going on down there, we're merely spectating.

I spectate as an anger bubbles in me for number nine as he steps over Sam to grab the ball — and suddenly the urge to throw a pint over his head resurfaces after a week of being practically non existent. A feeling I seemingly share with Roy, watching as he pushes Jamie and points at Sam most likely reprimanding him for his previous actions.

And when Jamie drops the ball and walks to Sam, there's a glimmer of hope that he'll be a good guy again — but that hope is burned when Jamie moves to flip Sam over onto his other side.

Which consequently starts a small fight between roy and Jamie — the other players breaking it up and separating them. Jamie's carded and I feel slightly happy about it.

The crowd boos in support of their precious striker, yet I watch as Roy helps up Sam and I feel a small smile creep onto my lips at the exchange.

The ball is handed to Jamie for a penalty. The crowd roars when it goes into the back of the net seamlessly — yet I sit back, watching as he repeats his ritual of selfishness — pointing to the name on the back of his shirt as his other plays watched, as tired of him and his antics as I am ( if not more so).

My eyes only shift when I notice Ted's head pop up over the side — slightly out of breath but admirably hasn't broken a sweat ( I'm impressed)

" hey Rebecca," he says, gesturing to me with a nod of his head " hollie." I give him a small smile.

" hello Ted." she says with a tight lipped smile.

" you're doing great dad!" Henry calls out, " Yeah, you got this." a woman I only this second realised was Ted's wife says.

His bright and toothy smile returns " thanks guys." he turns back to my mum with a more serious look on his face.

" I wanna bench Jamie."

I think I choke, as I cough and look at Ted " but I didn't want to do it without checking with you first."

I look at my mum, in the same concerning manner as Higgins does " but, Ted you're the manager so whatever you decide you have my full support." tapping her hands over his momentarily.

" Thanks, boss all right." he looks back to his son " later alligator."

I watch as Ted drops back down into the stands, I reach for my mum " what are you doing?" I ask, as she gives me a look.

furrowed brows " since when were you Jamie Tartt's biggest fan?" she asks and I scoff with a shake of my head.

" I'm not!" I say, a little too touchy as I hear mumbles from Inez and Harriet the row behind — they try to act like they're not talking about me and Jamie and this fictitious love story they've invented for us.

I turn back around, and notice Gus' linger look between me and my best friends — but I don't look at him, it would only solidity what he thinks going on ( which isn't!) .

There's a slight sympathy that sits with me when I watch the substitution be announced and when even from here I can see Jamie's face drop. I feel bad for someone I shouldn't feel bad for. I watch as the crowd reacts ( it's not good).

I watch with a frown as Jamie exits the pitch, ignoring Ted's sign of civility — He storms off. I exhale and let my eyes follow his body.

" I'm just gonna-" I begin, standing myself up and noticing Keeley and my mum watching me as I do so " I need to-" I don't finish my sentence but leave the boxed area we're sat in.

and I give into the urge as I get up and excuse myself in a mumble and squeeze past the seats to reach the inside of the club.

How my feet pick up as I navigate my way through the building that I've become so accustomed to in the passing weeks. Pushing past security and other staff members as politely as possible.

And when I reach my destination I push open the changing room door, hearing a disgruntled
" fuck off." from the only person in the room.

I close the door behind me, I don't say anything but I know he's panicking — that and a mixture of pissed off. I step in further — his shirt thrown to the floor and he's pacing up and down the room half dressed.

He can't tell it's me, but he can tell someone's here so the words " fucking fuck off!" angrily parts from his lips.

" Jamie-" I finally say, and he turns before marching towards me. I can see the glassier that his eyes get which each step he takes forward.

" I bet you fucking loved that didn't you!" he calls out to me " seeing me knocked off my high horse! seeing me get embarrassed out there."

I shake my head, slightly hurt by his words and how little he seemingly thinks of me " why would you think that?"

He scoffs and turns away " because you hate me, you pour pints over my head and take any chance to belittle and embarrass me- you know, you're just as bad as him!"

I don't have time to respond " waiting for me to fail, for me to slip up!"

" no that's not fair!" I raise my voice " I only treat you the way that you treat other people, Jamie you're an arsehole— at least that's the side of yourself that you've been showing them."

He looks  at me, " and I don't know why everyone is so scared to call you out on your bullshit because you can kick a ball into a bit of netting better than others-" I sharply inhale " but you deserve this! what you did our there was shitty, you- Jamie you were shitty!"

I can tell he doesn't want to listen to me, but he does because I also know that deep down he needs to hear this. I step closer and grab his hands in mine.

" and I know this isn't you." I say and he scoffs.

Trying to pull away from me, shaking his head at my statement  " you don't know me holls-"

I pull him back, not risking to lose him when I can get through to him " I know! because on Friday you were single-handedly the sweetest man I have ever met."

One of my hands moves to his cheek, guiding his face to look at me — " I know that that was the real you, and I know that whatever exactly this person is...it's not you Jamie."

He looks at me, gaze softening. It's like Friday again and those emotions start whirling into a sort of nausea — I smile softly and he does as well.

There's noise in the background that makes both our heads sharply turn " half time." I say and he looks all panicked again.

I move to grab his bag, shoving whatever I can in there " Jamie, come on." I say — he looks at me and then grabs the hand I didn't even realised I was offering.

Exiting the changing room, we run ( Jamie has to try not to outrun me because he's both faster than me and also has no idea where I'm taking him, I don't know where I'm taking him either) — eventually after a few moments of losing my head scared that someone will see us together, I push the door to an vacant office room that sits at the back of the building.

Jamie lets go of my hand and I once again entrap us in this room. Exhaling and momentarily stopping to catch my breath — placing his bag on the desolate desk and he reaches in to grab a top to dress himself whilst I wiggle off scarf and place it on said desk.

" so what do we do now?" he asks, and I shrug " wait it out I guess." I say and he nods. Pushing himself to sit atop the desk and myself against the door.

A silence hangs between us, until he speaks again " why were you weird with me earlier?" I look up and notice him looking at me.

" I heard you and Ted talking before the game." I tell him and he makes an 'oh' sound as he tilts his head.

" you were eavesdropping on me?" He says, his phone rings and without looking at it he declines it as I shake my head

" no! I was just in the right place at the right time." I say, my gaze diverting occasionally to his phone that sits on the desk that half way through my sentence continues to vibrate.

Jamie can see my attention flickering to the thing he's seemingly not worried about — I swallow as the phone continues to ring.

I look back at him " you gonna get that?"

Shakes his head " no."

I squint my eyes slightly " it could be important."

Shaking his head again with a tight lipped small smile, still looking at me " it's not."

I only give In because the ringing stops again and he looks less on edge than he did when it was.

I step closer, moving to sit on the desk beside him ( although there's some space that separates us, it's not much) — " you were a real jackass out there today..." he bows his head as I look at him " especially with Sam."

I can tell he regrets it, but I can't figure out why he'd do it in the first place — he's silent and his hand is facing palm open and it's like it's calling me to hold it. Or Maybe it's just me wanting another excuse to touch him without confessing stuff I don't want to confess.

My hand moves closer to his own, slowly but the gravity still pulls us together — and just as our skin is about to make contact, his phone buzzed again and he stands up and picks it up and throws it to the floor

" oh, just fuck off!" his voice booms, sending shivers down my spine beginning to pace up and down the width of the room. He looks at me and the small fear that stews in my eyes after that.

" Jamie- what's going-" I say, leaning off the desk and stepping closer to the boy who's now covered his eyes and is inhaling through his gritted teeth.

I inch closer " Jamie-" I whisper, and when he lets me see his eyes again they're watery like a watercolour painting of greens and a slight tinge of blue, they look beautiful but sad. So sad.

He doesn't say anything and I don't either but I pull him into me, similar to the way he did at the gala. Forcing myself on my tip toes to wrap my arms around him. Soon his wrap around my waist as he exhales shakily into my shoulder

" you're not the only one with issues with your dad you know?" he tells me in a humour that makes me want to cry for him.

and I feel myself only hold onto him tighter as the mere mentioning of father figures.

" you're better than him," I say

" better than what he says about you or thinks about you." I whisper, and I hear the shaky inhales and exhales from Jamie.

" he's going to be mad I was sent off." he tells me and I shake my head

" who cares what he thinks? Like to see him score those goals if he think he can do it better than you." I say and he laughs, it's barely audible like if I breathed a little too loud you might have missed it. But I didn't — and it makes me smile.

Jamie Tartt may be a dickhead, but now at least I know why. And he's just a hurt little kid who's been burdened by the expectation of glory placed upon his shoulders at a young age, an expectation that his dad won't ever let him live up to.

AUTHORS NOTE.
humanising season 1 Jamie because else Hollie wouldn't fall for him until season 3

also them in season 1 is the definition of ' one step forward, three steps back'

vote & comment if you enjoyed !!