wanna dedicate this chapter to daniellawrites02
unexpected Wattpad friend 😆 ilysm babe

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chapter four.
( titan's curse )
❝ me, myself and I! ❞

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      Percy's ignoring me.

Originally I was determined to get him to talk to me, but after the few cold looks he would send me, I've decided I would ignore him back.

Which, I guess is not really getting us anywhere.

But it's giving me a sense of petty achievement. If you ignore me well I'm just gonna ignore you back.

Lee was frustrated. He just wanted us to not fight and get over ourselves. But it wasn't me that was in the wrong, it was Percy—he was ignoring me! I'm just ignoring him back ...

Maybe he's right. But, how the hell was I supposed to talk to him when he didn't even want to glance at me? Usually, I would go and ask Annabeth for help, but ... well ...

I ended up skipping breakfast to sit by the beach. The last time I was here, I was with Percy, Annabeth and Tyson where we were hiding from the harpies and trying to hijack Luke's boat, The Princess Andromeda. It looked very different to how it had this summer: the sand was capped with snow, and the wind of Long Island howled against the trees and branches. Even with a huge jumper and coat, I felt the wind hit me like it was touching bare skin.

Somewhere out there, Annabeth was alive. Somewhere out there, Luke was still on his search to rebuild Kronos and Jay with him.

I thought that betrayal would become easier after you've dealt with it once. But no. Not even Luke could prepare me for Jay. I trusted Jay with everything ... with my dreams, my quests, the prophecies ... and he only just gave them straight back to Luke without any remorse.

I hated him.

I died trying to save Luke. I won't try to save Jay this time. I won't save either of them. They don't deserve it.

And yet there was still that temptation to jump right into the water and swim after them.

"Oh! Sorry!"

I turned around and saw Cain Richards. The thirteen-year-old (I've come to know), stood by the edge of the forest with his hands wringing. He was afraid to come any closer, and I arched a brow.

"Hey," I said, "what you apologising for?"

"Oh, I just ..." he went red. "I just ... well ... you looked like you wanted to be alone ..."

I shook my head with a smile, "No, it's okay. Come sit with me, Cain. Enjoy the brutal wind of winter."

A frown made its way on his face. "You ... you want me to sit with you?"

That gave me an uneasy feeling. Why would he think I wouldn't want him to sit next to me? Immediately, I wanted to be this boy's friend. He needed someone—he looked so lonely, so unsure and scared of everyone around him. He must be so overwhelmed.

So I shuffled over to the side, "Come sit, Cain."

He still didn't move, "You ... you're not scared of me?"

This hit me even harder. People ... they were scared of him? And then I remembered how Percy and Thalia were nervous around him. Percy and Thalia, some of the bravest people I knew. "Why would I be scared of you?"

Cain went even redder. "No ... no reason ..."

He came and sat down, and there was a small chance of accomplishment that rose up in my chest.

We sat there for a while until Cain started to loosen up, realising that I wouldn't leave him. Once he was sure, he gave me a slight concerned frown, "Are you okay?"

I shrugged, "Annabeth's my best friend."

"Oh..." Cain cleared his throat awkwardly. "Right."

"But she's alive," I told him. "So, what's worrying me is that she's out there somewhere and I can't go and save her."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm no longer a hero," I sighed, staring out at the cold, raging ocean. I could tell there was a storm coming, ignoring me just like Percy was. When Cain frowned, I explained. "I died last summer, Hades brought me back. I'm not the person I used to be: I don't have any of my powers anymore ... and ... I just don't feel like I'm needed anymore, you know? I died, maybe I should've stayed dead."

Cain pursed his lips, "I don't think so. Everything happens for a reason. Hades brought you back because your destiny isn't over yet."

"That's what everyone's saying," I lean back onto the snowy sand, welcoming the storm that reflected my life way too much right now. "And besides, the people I usually talk to have either: betrayed me, is missing, or is completely ignoring me right now."

"You mean Percy, don't you?"

I nodded.

"Just talk to him," suggested Cain.

I let out a bitter chuckle, "No, if Percy is ignoring you, it's best to let him cool off. He's as unpredictable as the ocean—I mean, being the son of Poseidon and all it really fits."

"He's not angry, he's afraid," Cain suddenly said. "He's afraid that you are different than you used to be. He's afraid over Annabeth. And he's afraid that you hate him that he couldn't save her, and he's scared that if you had been there, perhaps you could have saved her instead—he's lacking confidence in himself."

I frowned at Cain, "How ... how can you be so sure?"

He shrugged, "I don't know ... I just ... know ... it's like this weird thing I can do. I can tell people's fears."

"Really? What's mine?"

Cain pursed his lips, "I don't think you wanna know."

I gave him a look, and Cain reluctantly took a deep breath and said: "You're scared of the Underworld. You're scared of ... what you call it, the Transition? You're scared of dying again."

The first thing I wanted to do was stand up and walk away from him. He knew. How did he know? How could he see straight through me like I was just glass—fragile glass at that. But I didn't, because that disappeared as soon as it came. I wasn't scared of him—I had died, and I don't think I can be scared anymore. Things that made me human were gone, and in reality, I was perhaps just an empty vase; a tomb of the person I used to be.

"Who's your godly parent?" I instead asked, never having seen a power like this before.

Cain flushed, "I don't know ... I used to think my dad had died before I was born. Mom said he died in the army."

"But he didn't ..."

"No, apparently he's a god ..."

We fell into a silence again, and this time it was Cain brooding not me. In the end, I said, "You'll be claimed soon."

"Can you promise that?" he asked me, and I pursed my lips. No, no I couldn't. All those kids in the Hermes cabin who were undetermined wouldn't allow the word to come from my mouth. I couldn't give Cain false hope. When he realised I wasn't going to give him the answer he wanted, he said, "You should talk to Percy."

I wanted to say no, but he was right.

Before I could even look for Percy, I bumped into Bianca and Zoë—like literally.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" I held my hands out to catch Zoë, but in the end she caught me, holding me up by my biceps.

"Be careful," she said. She seemed in a lot better temperament when talking to a girl. But even then, she seemed upset.

I frowned, "Are you okay?"

She and Bianca shared a nervous glance, and I knew something wasn't. However, Zoë seemed like she didn't want to talk about it. At least not in the middle of Camp.

"You don't have to say," I then added.

There was a sense of gratitude behind Zoë's strong exterior. "Thank you," she said. "And thou are?"

"Claire Moore," I said, standing up properly and dusting my jeans off. "Daughter of Apollo."

"You're the girl that died," Bianca gasped, and I flushed, remembering what Cain had said. For a second, all I saw was the darkness of the Transition. There was nothing ... no point ... no living .. no dead ... just ... nothing ... and it was terrifying.

"Yeah ..." I muttered, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "Wasn't my best moment."

Zoë narrowed her eyes in thought, as if she could sense my fear, and suddenly, I saw a look of concern in her starry gaze, and my impression of Zoë changed that day.

"Everyone says you're a hero," said Bianca.

"I wish I was," I gave a small chuckle. "I'm nothing like the hero you Hunters are."

Zoë arched a brow, and tilted her head in interest. "Seems like thee want to join?"

My heart stopped. I met Zoë's eyes with open lips. "Huh?"

"The should join the Hunters," she said again. "I mean, it's up to thee, but—thee know—thee should think about it. It would suit thee."

The idea of being a Hunter was suddenly appealing. I would be immortal unless I die in battle. Is that what Hades wanted me to do? Become a Hunter and stay in this world until I'm finally meant to leave? I wouldn't have to see that Transition for a while if I could help it. "You ... you think?"

"Think about it," Zoë said, giving me a tight smile before leaving with Bianca. I watched them go, feeling my heart speed up.

When I turned back around, grinning to myself, it soon disappeared when I saw Percy's face across the middle bonfire. It wasn't lit, but his face was glowering. I went to say something, but he got there before me.

"So you're gonna join the Hunters, too, huh?" he snapped. "You're just that selfish, huh?"

I wanted to say no, but it didn't come out, because part of me wanted to say yes. "Why does it matter?" I instead said, shaking my head with a scoff. "It's my choice."

Percy just scoffed and turned around to walk away. But I wouldn't let him. "Hey! Don't you walk away from me Percy Jackson! You have been ignoring me ever since you came back! Why?"

I ran to catch up with him, falling into an angry step beside him. When he didn't say anything, I clenched my fists. "Are you kidding me? Percy, why are you so goddam angry at me?"

"It doesn't matter," he muttered, and that only infuriated me more.

I grabbed his arm to stop him, and I ignored the sudden shot of warmth that ran up my arm, "Well, obviously it does because you are being all stupid about it."

"Stupid?" Percy poked his tongue into his cheek in anger. "So you're calling me stupid, are you? I'm not stupid, Claire."

"Well, you are being stupid right now!" I raised my voice. "Just tell me why you're so angry with me?!"

"You're alive!" he let out, and I fell short. "You've been alive and you ... you didn't say anything, you didn't send anything ... you just ... you just ..." he was so angry he couldn't even speak. "You were dead!" he finally let out.

"Yeah, and I'm alive!" I shouted back. "It's not like I've been alive since that day on the boat! I came back two days ago! I'm sorry I didn't send you an I-Message while you were on a quest to get three demigods!"

"You could have done something! You could have come to us! You could have saved her!"

"Annabeth?" I gaped. "You're blaming me for Annabeth?!"

He didn't say anything, and just glared at the snow beneath our feet. I couldn't believe I was excited to see him again. I couldn't believe I had dreamt about seeing him again, thinking he would make everything better. But of course, it was Percy. I was hoping for too much from him. Like always.

A bitter laugh I didn't even know I was capable of came out, "Well, sorry that being alive is suddenly an inconvenience for you. Maybe I should have never even come back! Maybe I'm just better off dead!"

As if just realising what he had said, Percy's eyes widened and he held up a hand. "Claire, I didn't mean—"

"You know what?" I had had enough. "Maybe I should join the Hunters. That way I would get rid of you."

This angered him again, "You know what? Fine!"

"FINE!"

And so we did what we always did, stormed away from each other in absolute fury.

Except, I always ended up crying, and he always won.

° ° °

I hid away in the weapons shed by the Athena cabin. I always hid in here when I was really upset as a kid. Annabeth and I used to hide in here all the time, and so I just took it on myself. When Luke wouldn't pay attention to me as a kid, or if I got into a fight with one of my siblings, or I had a nightmare about my mom, I would come here and cry it out.

I don't know why being around a bunch of old, deadly weapons made me feel calm, but it did.

I must have stayed in there for hours. I wonder whether Hannah was looking for me--most likely. She has been obsessive over my whereabouts and what I was doing. I wasn't even allowed to play in Capture the Flag tomorrow because she was so scared that I'd get hurt. I was supposed to stay on the sidelines with her and Chiron.

I was useless.

The idea of being Hunter made me not feel useless, like I hadn't come back to life for nothing. I didn't have my powers, I could no longer feel like I'm used to, an everyone thinks I'm gonna break like china, but the way Zoë looked at me. She didn't think any of that.

I also thought that by hiding in the Athena weapon shed I'd be warm. Stupid of me to think that for once I could feel something I loved again.

But of course, I wasn't warm anymore. I wasn't light. I was cold, I was night. I was dead.

I could see my reflection in one of the swords that were sitting on an old rack. I hated how I looked. My bright golden blonde hair. That wasn't me anymore. I wasn't that girl. That girl was dead. The girl that was alive now was cold, lifeless and dark.

So, a weird thought came to my head. I remembered what Hades said, you should go something colder ... and I knew what I wanted to do.

I wiped away the tears and stood up. I walked out of the weapons shed and walked across the snow-patched grass and past the bonfire. I hadn't gone to dinner either. I just wasn't as hungry as I used to be. The night was cold, but I accepted it, letting it seep through my clothes and to my soul.

I made my way towards a barbie pink cabin across from Ares, and when I knocked on the door, I was glad that Silena answered it.

She frowned, her brown brows tilting up in concern. "Hey, Claire, what's up?"

And so I told her what I wanted her to do. And she agreed, eagerly.

She pulled me inside the cabin, and I changed that day.

I didn't need Percy. All I needed was me, myself and I, and that was all I had.

° ° °

was this short? yes. was it a filler? yes. but was it important? yes. am I happy with it? of course not who do you think I am?

anyway! capture the flag is the next chapter so get exciteddddd!!