One Shot

1 YEAR AGO

You hum to yourself, holding a shopping basket on one arm. Peering around the aisle, you search for the one item you needed and when you look higher up, you see the bottle of jalapeños that was just a little bit out of your reach.

Sighing in contempt, you place your basket on the floor and tiptoe to reach the damn jar but it just barely grazed your fingertips and now you scowl.

A piece of hair falls onto your face and you frustratedly blow it away, cursing the fact that the shelves were so friggen high.

You make one more attempt to grab it but you slip and start falling backwards. "Oh shi-" you think in panic and shut your eyes. Tensing, you brace yourself for the hard unforgiving floor.

The things you did for fucking jalapeños.

Except, after a couple of seconds of waiting, you didn't feel the cold floor on your body so you open one eye confusedly.

You were leaning back on the warm sturdy chest of a stranger who had just made sure you didn't make a fool of yourself in public and your eyes widen in embarrassment when you realize that your hands were directly on his...abs? With a croak of horror, you scramble out of his grasps, too flustered to actually face him.

"Ugh...did I really just...just...fall into the arms of a man?..." you think with a groan but snap out of your thoughts when you feel something press against your cheeks.

It was the jar of jalapeños.

You choke on your words and hear a deep hearty chuckle at your reaction from behind you and nervously, you turn around, only to be face to face with a man that looked like gods gift to you mere mortals.

Your jaw drops.

You definitely weren't expecting that.

It couldn't be helped, but your eyes fall straight onto his tall and muscular figure that was slightly hidden beneath his loose shirt. His thighs however were a different story and you gulped nervously at the tight pants that left little to your imagination.

You sent a silent prayer of thanks to the man who invented skinny jeans.

Your eye shoots up to his face, remembering that you still had a little bit of decency left in you to not continue staring at him like a lion desperate for meat.

His eyes were covered by round glasses but his lips held a grin. "Holy...he has the cutest lips..." you think distractedly before blushing at what you just thought.

When he fully sees your face however his smile drops and he looks at you as if he had seen a ghost. You see him whisper something to himself and that definitely piqued your curiousity, making you frown slightly.

But you were raised with manners and so you clear your throat and thank him for helping you out. "Uh...I'm also sorry about my clumsiness...I have this love-hate relationship with hard floors and they don't seem to want to let me go..." you lamely joke, and he snaps out of his reverie, laughing lightly at your words. Your stomach flutters uncomfortably at the musical sound.

He smiles softly. "No it's all good...so jalapeños huh?" He asks teasingly and if it was possible, you felt your face getting even warmer.

"Haha...y-yeah just a little something I needed you know?" You stutter, not really knowing what point you were trying to make.

He eyes you carefully and offers you his hand "...Well if you're ever free or anything, I know this amazing snack that you could make with them" he offers and you feel your smile build up.

"...yeah? That sounds great" you say and the two of you exchange contact information.

NOW

You laugh amusedly when you reminisce the day you two first met and you think about how much has happened since then. How you managed to snag him as yours was completely beyond your understanding but you weren't about to start complaining now.

"Babe?" Kook calls out, entering his room while fixing his tie and your eyes darken slightly at how desirable he was at that second. He didn't seem to notice your look as he smoothed down his suit.

"You think this looks alright?" He asks while fixing his cuffs and you give him a small smirk. "You look more than alright Babe" you murmur as you stand and walk over to him.

He gives you a nervous chuckle and you reach out to fix his collar, finishing with a soft pat. His eyes look down at you, softening when he makes eye contact.

Your breath hitches at the intensity of his gaze and again, there was this brief look that flashed in his eyes that you could never place, but it was one that would come out every now and then. You couldn't place it, but somehow it felt wistful.

"Are you sure you'll be okay alone for a bit?" He asks unsurely, breaking you away from your thoughts, and you laugh. "Babe, I'm a big girl." You start with a roll of your eyes at his concern. "I'm sure a couple hours without you isn't going to kill me. I'll just chill in your room and watch some shows until you get back okay? So have fun at the awardings tonight and relax." You finish with a soft smile and he nods understandingly.

He presses his forehead against yours and gives you a soft peck on your lips. "Alright, just message me if you need anything okay?" He asks one last time before putting his dress shoes on and grabbing his wallet.

You nod and blow him a kiss, to which he grins wolfishly towards and gives you one longing gaze in response to.

"You might want to take a nap, I doubt you'll be sleeping much tonight" he says meaningfully as he licked his lips and you blush at the promise in his words but nod anyways. With one final smirk he leaves the room and you finally let out a breath.

Even after a year he still made your heart beat so fast that it felt like you had ran an entire marathon.

You shake your head exasperatedly but accepted your fate a long time ago. You were damned under his control and you were still debating if that was a good or bad thing.
———————————————
You were lying on his bed, absently finishing up one of your sketches but then you felt a bit chilly. With a shiver, you get up and head to his closet in hopes that you'd find a stray hoodie lying around.

Kookie definitely didn't disappoint in the clothes department because you saw a bunch of them folded neatly in one drawer.

Grabbing the first one you saw, you giddily breathe in his scent. You couldn't describe it but his smell made you feel at ease and gave you a sense of belonging.

You shrugged it over your flimsy tank top but as you put your arms through it, you accidentally knocked over an old looking box that was on one of the higher shelves, making it fall over and spill its contents on the carpeted floor beneath you.

You cursed loudly and quickly bent down to put everything back. Most of it were pictures so you gathered them together and piled them neatly. One image caught your eye almost immediately and when you looked at it closely you stopped breathing.

Your thumb brushed over it and your brow furrowed in distress. At first glance, nothing was off about the photograph.

The day was beautiful and from what you could tell in the image, it was also pretty cold. Two people were seated on a bench, holding each other close with no sign of worries on their faces.

One of the two people in the photo was Kook.

You observe how unrestrained his smile was and how he was secretly looking at the woman beside him -without her knowing- as if she was the only one that existed. He had his arms around her shoulders and your eyes follow them until it reaches her face.

With trembling hands you carefully study the image. The woman had a breathtaking smile and her eyes creased happily. The quality was so great that you could see the red tint on her cheeks from the cold.

Tears start welling in your eyes when you glance at the date imbedded on the corner of the film.

2015.11.29

This was taken only 5 months before you met Jungkook and you felt the first tear fall as you bit down on your lips painfully, drawing blood. You sat there frozen and confused at how that could be possible.

The problem with the photo wasn't the fact that Jungkook was with another girl, no. That wasn't something you would ever hold against him because you knew he had a life long before you came along.

No...

The problem was that the girl in the picture was YOU.

But that couldn't be...

You never met him before that fated day in the supermarket and the more you observed the photo, the more you noticed little details in the woman that you didn't have. For one, her skin was fairer than yours. Your hair was also completely different and she had dimples on one cheek while you had them on both.

You were sure the person in the photo wasn't you and that broke your heart even more when you realize what this meant.

You gasp when you realize the signs were there all along, like when he first cautiously introduced you to his friends.
———————————————
"Hey, I'm Y/N! It's nice to finally meet you all, Kook has told me all about you guys so I think I can put a name to most of your faces" you start off excitedly with a smile and the 6 men lounging lazily in Kook's loft tense up faintly when their eyes fall on you.

One of the men, Namjoon, you recall, takes a sharp breath in surprise and gave Kook a meaningful look, to which he avoided entirely. The others continued to gape at you and you shift nervously.

Feeling uncomfortable in the loud silence and their unrelenting scrutiny -for reasons you had no idea of at the time- you clear your throat and it seemed to have snapped one man out of his daze as he carefully offered you his hand.

"I'm Yoongi, Kook has...told us a lot about you too..." he says hesitantly and you laugh awkwardly.

Things relaxed more after that but the guys continued acting strangely around you, as if treading carefully on glass or as if you'd disappear if they didn't keep their eyes on you all the time.

That only happened the first time you met them however because after that day, they never acted strangely again and you completely pushed it to the back of your mind, assuming that they were just nervous.
———————————————
You stifle in a sob when everything made sense; why they looked at you as if they saw a ghost and why you couldn't shake off the niggling doubt that something was wrong.

And then it clicked.

The look that Kook sometimes gave you was one of nostalgia and remorse.

This time you didn't hold back your heart wrenching sob.

You needed answers.
———————————————
Kook sighs tiredly as he shrugged his suit off and unbuttoned his dress shirt slightly, getting more comfortable as he entered his house.

He smiled softly when he saw the glow of light underneath his door and knew you were still awake.

Silently he treaded closer and entered his room.

He stops moving almost immediately and his smile drops when he sees what you were holding in your hands.

You look up and give him a bittersweet smile with your puffy eyes and red nose.

"...I think there's something you need to tell me" you whisper bitterly and toss the photo near his feet.

He stopped breathing and his eyes widen regretfully.

Everything in his head went blank when he became aware that he couldn't keep things hidden any longer.

Trembling slightly, he reaches out to you and you flinch while pulling back as a new wave of tears well up in your eyes.

"Don't touch me Jungkook...I just...I just want you to tell me everything" you whimper in pain and he looks at you grievingly.

He leans down and picks the photo up carefully and stayed silent for a couple of moments.

Your heart broke at his next words.

"...the girl in this picture...s-she was my ex..." he whispers and you shut your eyes as he now confirmed what you already assumed.

He had been using you as a replacement...

You look up to the ceiling regretfully, for not listening when you told yourself that a love like this was too good to be true.

You were right.

He could see you breaking down because of his words and his eyes watered at the pain he knew you were going through.

"...s-so that's what I was huh...the girl who just looks exactly like your ex..." you whisper resentfully and he looked down, unable to deny a word of your accusation.

You laugh brokenly.

"The reason why you asked me out...all the kisses...the dates...the memories...all of that wasn't because you wanted me was it?...you were thinking of her the entire time...f-for one year..." you exclaim and take in a stabbing breath.

He opens his mouth to deny it but you didn't want to hear any more lies.

"DON'T. I don't need you to lie to my face...I think you've done enough of it already...I can't believe you though...that you would stoop so low and use me that way..." you go on, angrily brushing off the damn tears the wouldn't stop flowing and finally his lips tremble.

"I- that's not what I..Y/N please...I never meant to hurt you...but you need to understand...she was everything to me and I fucking lost her...she didn't break up with me Y/N...she died. She fucking died, and when I saw you that day, I couldn't stop myself..."

You didn't think it was possible but your heart cracked even more; but with Jungkook you should've known he was capable of the impossible, that's what he was known for anyways;

Being the best at everything.

You could now add 'breaking hearts' on that list.

You weren't heartless though and a little bit of you broke even more when you now knew how much sorrow he had gone through. It wasn't easy for him and you understood, but for him to drag you into a web of lies was too much.

He should've considered your feelings as well.

But maybe he never knew you fell in love with him.

"Is that supposed to justify the fact that you used me this entire time?" You say sadly and he flinches once more, making you soften.

"Kook..." you mumble and he looks at you.

"I'm sorry...and I mean it. nobody deserves to lose someone like that..." you tell him truthfully and he let's out a heart wrenching sob that gripped onto your heart tightly.

You longed to draw him into a hug but you knew it wouldn't be possible. Not now, and probably not anymore.

"...but I'm my own person too. I'm not her and I'll never be her. We may look the same but I'm. Not. Her. Don't delude yourself into thinking otherwise..." You tell him and he only stares at you guiltily so you continue, wanting to make sure he understood where you were coming from.

"...I have feelings, I-I cry, I smile, I laugh, and I care about you s-so much but this is where I have to draw the line because you don't see that. I'm not going to stay here only to be a tool you can use to keep 'her' with you. She's gone Kook...and you need to learn how to accept that first..." you firmly tell him but your voice cracks from how hoarse it had gotten from all the crying.

He sinks to his knees and you make one of the hardest decisions of your life.

You clamped down on your lips, tasting the metallic tang of blood as you headed towards his door that was blurry from your tears.

"Y-Y/N!" he screams out sorrowfully and you pause with your hand on the doorknob.

"I'm s-sorry" he brokenly gasps and your body wracks from the sobs you were burying inside you.

You smile bittersweetly. "...I don't want your apology Kook, I want you to be happy...but that can't happen if I stay..." you say despairingly, knowing that even if he ever got over her, the two of you would never work, only because you would constantly remind him of what he had lost.

You walk out of his life

He doesn't move stop you.

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Hey loves, this was a special request but I decided to post it on Wattpad as well so here's an early update.

I'm sorry for the angst but it was necessary 😫

Stay tuned for the next updates and I hope that you bear with me ♥️