! BAD GIRLS ! BAD GIRLS !

( a sex and the city fic )

WREN & WILLOW CLOTHING
new york, new york
3pm

me and dakota were inside of a baby clothing store called wren & willow. it was located in a prime location in manhattan, known for its timeless, luxe, and expensive clothing for babies. essentially it is where the rich and elite shopped for their bundle of joy.

i was browsing the racks of miniature clothing, my hands gliding over soft fabrics and delicate designs.

dakota stood next to me, his eyes wide with amazement as he looked at the various items on display. "man, these clothes are expensive." he said as he held up a pair of $200 baby shoes.

i chuckled and patted his arm. "that's what you get for shopping at wren & willow. only the best for those with money to spend." i paused. "don't act like you can't cough up the money, mister big shot sports advertising executive."

he playfully rolled his eyes. "yeah, yeah, i know. but still, it's a lot of money for something a baby will grow out of in a month." he put the shoes back on the rack.

i nodded, "true. but it's worth it to dress them up in the best." i said as i picked up a little pair of red ballet flats. "i mean, look at these."

he smiled, "yeah, i gotta admit they're cute. lily would look adorable in them." his gaze then moved to my pregnant belly. "do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"

i sighed, "no, i've been debating whether or not i want to find out the gender. part of me wants to find out so i can start getting clothes and preparing, but another part of me wants it to be a surprise." i admitted.

dakota nodded understandingly. "yeah, that makes sense. but either way, you're gonna be a great mom jamie."

"even without holden being with me?" i asked, a big part of me questioned if i'd be able to handle mom life without him.

he looked at me seriously. "especially without holden. you don't need him jamie." he said as he put his hand on my shoulder. "plus, you have me, charlotte, jemma, and little lily. we're all going to be here to support you every step of the way."

his words were sincere and encouraging, making me feel less alone in this journey. "and duncan." i blurted.

he raised an eyebrow at me. "what about duncan?" he asked, sensing that there was more to the situation.

i blushed, unable to hide my feelings for duncan. "nothing. nothing at all..." i said as i shook my head and tried to focus back on the clothes.

dakota's eyes narrowed as he watched me. he could tell that i was trying to hide something from him. "i can tell when you're lying, you know that right?" he said, a hint of curiosity in his voice.

i averted my gaze and tried to focus on the baby clothes, feeling my cheeks growing hotter by the second. "fine, i'm seeing him again."

his eyebrows raised in surprise. "you are? since when?" he asked, clearly taken back by the news.

i shrugged, "it's fairly recent, we sort of re-connected out of the blue." i said as i ran my fingers over a tiny little onesie.

dakota looked at me knowingly. "you've still got feelings for him, don't you?" he asked, hitting the nail right on the head.

"yes." i admitted. "but don't tell char, i'm planning on telling her and the girls tonight at dinner."

"i get it. yeah, better to just rip the bandaid off and tell her." he then looked at me seriously. "but are you sure getting involved with duncan again is a good idea? i mean, look at how everything ended with holden."

i chuckled, knowing he was right. "i know but i think he's been what's missing from my life this entire time." i said as i held up a cute little dress. "oh my god, i have to get this."

he nodded once, "and if you have a boy instead?" he asked as he gestured to the dress.

i shrugged, "we will cross that bridge when it comes. but no matter what, i'm bringing a child into this world who will be loved and cared for." i said as i placed my hand over my bump.

dakota smiled at me, his expression soft. "i have no doubt about that." he then playfully ruffled my hair. "i can't believe my baby sister is going to be a mom."

"i can't believe you now have two kids." i told my older brother.

his expression softened at the mention of jemma and lily. "yeah, me either. i never thought i'd be a dad let alone have two daughters." he said, a hint of pride in his voice.

i nodded, feeling both happy and envious of my older brother's life. "you're a great dad." i told him sincerely.

he chuckled, "i try my best."

MANHATTA SALSA CLUB
new york, new york
7:30pm

seated with the girls with our first outing all together in months, carrie raised her glass. "here's to us without men."

"whoo!" samantha said as she held up her shot glass.

"here, here." miranda added as she also held up her glass.

"i'm not toasting to that! i have an amazing man at home, we all do." charlotte chimed in.

carrie shrugged before she threw back her shot, "i don't. and who cares if i end up old and alone?"

"oh carrie sweetie, we're all alone even when we're with men." samantha told carrie.

"say it, mister sister." carrie said with a giggle.

"my advice to you is to embrace that fact, slap on some armor and go through life like i do." samantha told carrie as she snaked an arm around her neck.

"enjoying men but not expecting them to fill you up?" carrie guessed.

"but you've found your man!" charlotte said.

"that is true, things seem to be going really well with smith." i said as i sipped my water.

a man then tapped carrie on the shoulder, "excuse me but...i was wondering if you'd like to dance."

"oh well uh thanks, but tonight it's just us girls." carrie replied.

"i'm marco, the club owner...if you ever feel like dancing here." he said as he slipped carrie his card before walking away.

"i'm impressed. not dropping us for a guy." miranda said.

"is that the kind of girl you think i am?" carrie asked as she put her hand on her heart in mock offense.

the girls and i all laughed. "oh and i have news!" i spoke up and when all eyes went on me, i dropped the bomb. "i'm seeing duncan again."

"that's why he was at your house the other night!" carrie put two and two together.

"he was at your house the other night? are you sure this is a good idea...so soon after the whole holden ordeal i mean." miranda said.

i nodded sheepishly. "i know it might seem too soon, but i can't help my feelings." i said, feeling a bit of anxiety at their reactions.

"but holden just happened." charlotte gently reminded me. "you need time, jamie."

i sighed, knowing she was right but i couldn't deny the way i felt about duncan. "i feel like duncan was my guy all along." i admitted. "and i hate that it took me so long to realize it. it's just, when i'm with him i feel this connection that i've never felt with anyone else." i said. "i see him everywhere too, it's like the universe is trying to tell me something."

the girls exchanged glances. "the universe, huh?" miranda said, a hint of skepticism in her voice.

"it is a little strange that you're seeing him so soon after holden." charlotte said, a little concern in her tone.

"but if it feels right, who are we to judge?" carrie chimed in.

"yeah, you're allowed to be happy jamie." samantha said, giving me a reassuring smile. "if duncan makes you happy, then who cares about the timing?"

miranda sipped her cocktail, mulling over the idea. "i just hope he's not a rebound, jamie. you don't need another broken heart."

i nodded, understanding where she was coming from. "i know, i've been hurt too many times before. but i really think this time is different." i replied as i ran my hand over my belly.

charlotte followed my hand, "don't let holden or any of this stress you out. stress isn't good for him."

"him? you know the gender?" carrie asked causing me to shake my head no.

"it's always felt like a boy, no?" charlotte said.

"just what we need, more men in the world." samantha sighed.

"sam!" charlotte exclaimed, giving samantha a disapproving look.

"oh come on, you know i'm right. men are a nuisance." samantha said bluntly. "they're always so confused. especially in bed!"

"is smith confused in bed?" miranda asked.

"no, but i've had my fair share of confused men who can't figure out how a clitoris works! but it's not their fault, they don't come with a manual." samantha answered. "if i had a son, i'd teach him all about the vagina."

"if you had a son we'd call social services." carrie said gaining laughs. "oh shoot, i have to go." carrie said as she looked at the clock. "i'm getting my picture taken for that magazine article in the morning."

"what magazine article?" miranda asked. "all press needs to be cleared through me."

"it's new york magazine, they're doing a profile of twenty manhattan singles and it's called "single and fabulous."" carrie answered. "i was picked because stanford's friend is the assistant photography director."

"no carrie, you can't leave. we haven't seen you for months and plus we never go dancing." charlotte reasoned.

"one more drink!" samantha added.

"okay fine, one more drink." carrie said as the bartender brought each of the girls a shot and an iced tea for me.

"to hot men." samantha said as she raised her glass.

CENTRAL PARK
new york, new york
11am

with my belly the size of a watermelon at seven months, i walked through central park with charlotte, miranda, and carrie. the two moms had their children in their strollers.

as we strolled through the park, the sound of children laughing and birds chirping filled the air. charlotte pushed little lily's stroller while miranda pushed a sleeping brady.

"it's a beautiful day for a walk," miranda said, looking up at the clear blue sky.

charlotte nodded in agreement, "it's amazing how different our lives are now compared to when we were in our 20s. i remember i used to run through here and burn off everything."

"yeah, we were living it up back then, going to bars, staying out all night," carrie added. "except i did stay up all night last night, can you believe i didn't get home until dawn? and then i had my shoot early this morning which i was late to."

"we're walking way too slow, we're not burning off anything." charlotte said.

"well, i'm not exactly in the running position." i said as i looked down at my stomach.

"here's an idea, let's gossip to get our heart rates up!" carrie suggested.

then a man who was running by slowed down, "hey, miranda!" he called out.

"hey, josh! hey, hi, how are you?" she replied.

"good, great, training for the marathon." he said.

"right, i forgot you do that." she said to the man who was now running backwards to keep up with the conversation.

"five years in a row." he responded and got an awkward silence back. "well, you've got my number so give me a call."

miranda then stopped and looked down at brady, "i'm married josh...and a mom."

"oh, i-" he then jogged forward.

"and who was that?" carrie asked.

"an ophthalmologist i once faked orgasms with." miranda said dryly. "i only slept with him twice... years ago. the first time i faked it because it was never gonna happen. and the second time i faked it because i faked it the first time." she said.

"naturally." carrie responded.

"and i didn't want to fake it again, so i just never called him again." miranda finished.

"you broke up with an ophthalmologist over that?" charlotte inquired.

"orgasm, major thing in a relationship?" miranda said.

"yeah, but not the only thing. orgasms don't send you valentine's day cards, and they don't hold your hand in a sad movie." charlotte said.

"is that code that you fake orgasms with dakota?" carrie asked.

"hello, dakota's sister right here...hearing everything." i spoke up.

"no! i don't have to fake anything with dakota, but i will say that dakota does send me valentine's day cards and he holds my hand during sad movies." charlotte explained.

"that's what's amazing with robert is that i don't have to fake anything. i don't fake orgasms and definitely don't fake my love for him." miranda said. "so i'm happy things didn't work out between me and the ophthalmologist. i'm happy."

CAFE CAFE
new york, new york
12pm

""single and fabulous, question mark"?" carrie said as she read the magazine that pictured her looking terrible. "there was no question mark implied. i would have never agreed to be in an article, "single and fabulous, question mark." i was set up!" she explained.

"oh, i agree. you're single, fabulous and fucked." samantha concluded.

"not after that picture i won't be." carrie said. "they said "single and fabulous" exclamation point. they didn't not say "single and fabulous" question mark." she said upsettingly.

"that question mark is hostile." i said as i read the magazine with charlotte.

"miranda, can't we sue them or something?" charlotte asked.

"for what? mispunctuation?" miranda shot back.

"it's too late to sue, i'm all over the city looking like...like something that got caught in a drain." carrie said as she rolled her eyes. "i have officially quit smoking."

charlotte then read off a piece of the article, "single was fun at twenty. but you want to ask these women how fun will all night club hopping be at fourty?"

"who's out all night?" i replied.

"and who's fourty?" samantha chimed in.

"do you know what i say? fuck them- exclamation point!" miranda said.

"fuck them!" samantha and i said simultaneously.

"yeah, fuck them." charlotte said hesitantly.

"charlotte said "fuck"." carrie pointed out.

"filling their lives with an endless parade of decoys and distractions to avoid the painful fact that they're completely alone." charlotte read.

miranda snatched the magazine out of her hand, "how is that helping?"

i shook my head, reading the article. "that's messed up."

samantha rolled her eyes, "ugh, i can't stand the media. they always have to spin things a certain way to make us look bad."

charlotte sighed, "i know, it's not fair. they're just trying to stir up drama for attention."

but carrie wasn't having it. "i am not distracted or alone. i am single and fabulous."

as the girls continued to chat, i heard my phone ring in my pocket. i pulled it out and saw that duncan was calling.

my heart skipped a beat as i excused myself from the table and stepped outside to answer.

"hey, duncan." i said, trying to sound casual.

"hey, jamie. i was thinking about you." he replied, his voice sending a shiver down my spine.

"oh yeah? what were you thinking?" i asked, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness.

duncan paused for a moment, as if considering his words. "just about how much i've been enjoying spending time with you lately."

"i've been enjoying it too." i said, feeling a little flustered. "i like being with you."

he chuckled, "well that's good to hear. can i see you later?"

i bit my lip, knowing that seeing him would mean taking things to the next level. but i couldn't deny the way i felt about him.

"sure." i said finally. "you can come over tonight."

"yeah, i'll be over after i drop mia off at evelyn's." duncan replied.

JAMIE'S OG BROWNSTONE
new york, new york
7:30pm

i gave myself one last look in the mirror, adjusting my earrings. i was wearing an orange tank top and a black maxi skirt, my belly on display purposely.

i heard a knock at the front door and my heart fluttered. i took a deep breath and went to answer it.

i opened the door to reveal duncan, standing there with a playful smirk on his face. he was wearing jeans and a tan button-down shirt, the sleeves rolled up to reveal his muscular forearms.

"hey, you look gorgeous." he said, his texan accent making my knees weak.

i blushed, feeling a rush of warmth spread through me. "thanks. you don't look so bad yourself."

he grinned, his eyes roaming over me appreciatively. "can i come in?"

"sure, but please note that i haven't cooked or anything." i told him.

he nodded as he stepped in, "that's fine. i already ate, as long as you can provide the dessert. ice cream, cookies, whatever you have i'll take it." he said as he followed me into the kitchen.

i opened my freezer to see a few frozen dinners here and there but no deserts. "you know, when my friends were stopping by they raided my fridge and freezer."

duncan chuckled as he saw the near empty freezer. "well, i'm not surprised. your friends are a gang of sugar fiends."

i laughed softly, "you know them."

"well let's go out and get some cookie mix and make some." duncan suggested.

i raised an eyebrow, a bit surprised by his suggestion. "cookie mix? you want to bake cookies?"

he nodded, "yeah. why not? it'll be fun."

i smiled, despite myself. "well alright then. let's do it."

"and there's a grocery store just up the street." he said as he watched me slip on my shoes.

GRACEFFA MARKET
new york, new york
8:30pm

the walk to the supermarket was filled with laughter as duncan cracked jokes and we talked about everything and nothing.

as we entered the near-empty store, the bright fluorescent lights casting a sterile glow over everything.

"where's the cookie dough?" duncan asked the worker through laughs.

"aisle two." the man responded as he flipped his magazine.

as duncan and i looked at aisle number two and saw it was an medicine aisle, i spoke up. "are you sure?" i asked the worker.

"no," he replied dryly.

duncan chuckled, shaking his head. "well, i guess he was feeling particularly helpful tonight."

i laughed, rolling my eyes. "very helpful."

we continued to wander through the store, finally finding the cookie dough in the baking section.

"they're out of cookie dough?!" duncan exclaimed, sounding genuinely disappointed.

i looked at the empty spot on the shelf where the cookie dough should have been. "yeah, it looks like it."

"damn. i was really looking forward to those cookies." duncan murmured.

i grabbed a hold of his hand and walked to the worker who was reading his magazine. "excuse me, do you have any cookie dough in the back. you're all out." i asked kindly.

the worker looked up from his magazine, and gave us a bored look, "no, we're all out."

duncan let out a sigh, "you're sure you don't have any in the back?"

the worker shrugged, "nope."

duncan and i looked at each other, both feeling frustrated.

i looked at the man's magazine and saw carrie's face with the words "single and fabulous question mark" scrawled across the front page.

"it's single and fabulous exclamation mark." i blurted out.

the worker looked up at me, confusion on his face. "what?"

duncan looked at me, then at the magazine, then back at me, struggling to hold in a laugh.

i pointed at the front of his magazine to carrie's face, "she is single and fabulous, exclamation mark!"

the worker looked at me like i was crazy, but duncan couldn't contain his laughter any longer.

he placed a hand on my back, trying to compose himself. "i think the article got it wrong." he said between laughs.

i nodded, still feeling defensive on carrie's behalf. "exactly. she is single and fabulous exclamation mark."

the worker raised his eyebrows before looking back at his magazine, "good to know." he replied in a bored tone.

"how about ice cream from the shop down the street instead?" i asked duncan.

duncan nodded, still chuckling. "yeah, let's do it. i think we've had enough cookie dough disappointment for one night."

we left the supermarket, the door dinging behind us, leaving the bored worker alone with his upsetting magazine.

we were sitting on a bench with our ice cream cups, laughing about some silly story when duncan added to the topic of kids, "yeah, so i've been co-parenting mia with evelyn." he said referring to his ex-fiancé.

i nodded, sighing. "yeah, i know what you mean. i have to meet with holden next week to figure things out with our brownstone, and how we're gonna co parent the baby when it finally arrives. it's going to be hard doing it kind of alone."

duncan paused for a moment, looking at me with a serious expression. "jamie, i'm sorry." he said. "i'm sorry for ever letting you go."

i felt my heart skip a beat at his words, not expecting the sudden change in tone of the conversation. "duncan, you don't have to apologize for that stuff." i told him as i placed my free hand on his back.

he shook his head, looking down at the sidewalk. "i do. i was an ass." he said, his voice filled with regret. "and i can't help but think that you'd never be so hurt if i stayed with you. you wouldn't have gotten cheated on and toyed with like how holden did."

i watched him, surprised by his sudden vulnerability. "it's true that we might have avoided certain challenges if we stayed together but then i wouldn't be pregnant and you wouldn't have mia." i said rubbing his back softly. "but i'm not mad about any of that. and even if we didn't stay together, we've made our way back to each other. and that's what matters."

he looked at me, his eyes filled with emotion. "you're right." he said softly, taking my hand in his. "you're right. and i'm so damn thankful that we found our way back to each other. i love you and i knew it from the first time-"

as soon as the words "i love you" left his lips, i couldn't help myself. i leaned in and kissed him, pouring my feelings into the kiss. his free hand went up to cup my face, holding me close as he kissed me back fiercely.

once we pulled back i spoke, "if i say it back now it'll sound so stupid."

he chuckled, his eyes shining with love. "why stupid?" he asked, his thumb gently rubbing my cheek.

"cause we haven't been together for so long and then right after you say it, i say it back. it looks so scripted and fake." i said, feeling my cheeks heat up.

he shook his head, looking at me with his warm eyes. "i won't think that it's scripted or fake." he assured me.

i couldn't help but laugh softly, amused by his insistence. "good, because i love you." i said before i licked my ice cream.

he smiled, his hand still cupping my face. "and thank god for that." he said, his voice low and sincere. i couldn't help but stare at him his blue eyes captivating me more than anything.

housekeeping notes !

thoughts on this very long chapter?