! BAD GIRLS ! BAD GIRLS !

( a sex and the city fic )

RAYMOND KING'S APARTMENT
new york, new york
5:30am

"you missed the show for her?" a woman's voice could be heard making jamie shoot up from the couch.

i opened my eyes, blinking rapidly to wake myself up as i sat up. i looked around the room in a slight daze, it taking my brain a minute to process where i was. i stood up from the couch as my eyes landed on a woman in the doorway of the kitchen, staring at me.

"oh...hi." i greeted her as i tried to shake the sleep from my mind.

the girl rolled her eyes at me. "you caused a damn riot, ray! almost costed me my job for this stunt!" she scolded him as he rolled his eyes.

"whatever, just pay them back." he said.

i looked back and forth between the two before awkwardly shifting on my feet.

"who are you?" i inquired as i looked at the girl.

"i'm tori. ray's manager." she declared. "i don't have to ask who you are, because i'm aware that you're that bitch who ray left his gig for!" she yelled.

"tori!" raymond yelled. "she is not a bitch, okay? and from here on out, i'm only interested in what is real. real people, real feelings, that's it." he said. what the hell was he talking about?

"what are you on?" tori said as she looked at him with a disgusted face.

he shook his head and rubbed his eyes, "i thought we were-" he paused. "are we not talking about what kind of relationships we want? because since jamie said she wants something real so now i want something real. tori! do you hear me?"

i let out a soft gasp at his statement, taken back.

"raymond russell king. are you high?" tori asked him in a serious tone.

"high on life." he replied jokingly. "and a little bit of weed."

"yeah right." tori said, clearly not buying his attempt at deflection.

"so you don't actually want something real?" i questioned him.

tori stepped in, "no, honey. it's not him talking, it's the drugs talking. and thankfully he's only on weed. anything stronger and i bet he'd be down on one knee proposing. it's happened before, right, raymond?"

raymond who looked dazed only nodded. "yeah." he said. "and only my friends can call me raymond, not you, tori." he managed to say.

quickly i slipped on my heels and headed for the door. "bye, thanks for a good time. sorry for um...costing you your job or whatever you said!" i told both tori and raymond.

raymond blew me a kiss, "later, jamie!"

"yes, goodbye, jamie." tori responded.

i rolled my eyes and left the apartment, quickly shutting the door behind me. i pressed the elevator button, trying to take some deep breaths as i waited. i'm never seeing anyone famous again.

CASA MONO CAFE
new york, new york
10:30am

seated outside of the cafe, samantha quietly sipped on her coffee, miranda rocked her baby who was in the stroller while she looked seconds away from falling asleep, and carrie went on and on about her new book as we all awaited charlotte's arrival. 

"so now, i have published my very own book! it's called 'sex and the city.'" carrie announced.

samantha immediately stopped sipping on her coffee and put it down on the table. "so does it have to do with your column?" she asked.

carrie nodded, "yeah, it has a little bit to do with my column, but since i'm technically considered an author now, i've been invited to quite a few literary events...and even more parties!" she said, clearly proud as a peacock. "i've met the most interesting, charming, and handsome men."

"but you still only want big." miranda said as she continued rocking the stroller.

"ladies! ladies!" charlotte's voice could be heard as she ran over to us. "i'd like you to meet someone."

charlotte pulled a leash that had a beautiful dog connected to it. a king charles spaniel.

"meet elizabeth taylor." charlotte said with the brightest smile.

"that's your new dog?" samantha inquired, looking at the cute little dog.

"yes! she's so adorable, but she can be a bit of a handful." charlotte proclaimed. "she has quite the personality."

carrie smiled, "she's adorable! like you but...in dog form."

samantha and miranda let out a laugh as charlotte tried to pick up the dog, but she wasn't having it. "elizabeth taylor, behave!" she scolded the little dog.

"now her name...elizabeth taylor-" miranda began to say.

"yes! elizabeth taylor is named after the actress." charlotte exclaimed as if she was sick of hearing the question.

"she was also a very beautiful actress." i noted. "much like how beautiful this baby is."

"thank you for noticing." charlotte stated as she finally picked up elizabeth taylor and planted her on her lap.

"i think that i'm in love." miranda randomly said.

"i hope that you don't mean you're in love with one ball." i said referring to steve.

miranda's eyes widened as i said this. "jesus christ no, i'm not in love with steve."

samantha let out a slight laugh, "but you can love on that ball, am i right?" causing carrie to burst out laughing.

miranda shot the two a glare, "my beautiful neighbor moved in. his name is doctor robert leeds. he is the definition of tall, dark, and handsome ladies." she said.

"ooooh, the new love interest." i said with a smirk on my face. "tell us more."

"well, he has deep brown eyes, he's a team doctor for the knicks, he's compassionate and sensitive, he has a gorgeous smile...he's just the total package." she gushed with a smile on her face.

"does he have all of his hair?" charlotte questioned.

"yes! he has a full head of hair that is still black!" miranda said. "plus he's really well educated."

"does he have two balls?" samantha commented.

miranda shrugged, "that i don't know yet."

we all let out a laugh, "well he sounds like he's better for you than steve." i said.

"what about you jamie-james? any new guys?" carrie inquired.

"well, brad pitt is an asshole who i broke things off with..." i started.

samantha, miranda, and charlotte all gasped in unison.

"not brad pitt!" carrie exclaimed jokingly.

"i think that he was more into the idea of having sex with me than actually being with me." i told them with a sigh.

samantha and miranda shot me looks of sympathy, but carrie quickly perked up. "there's plenty of...brad pitts out there." carrie quickly said to me.

"yeah, maybe one who actually has his balls." samantha piped up, causing miranda to roll her eyes.

"i hooked up with this rock star last night, and as an update...i'm not loving the whole rockstar lifestyle." i told them.

"meaning?" charlotte asked.

"he was too free." i said. "i mean, either he has some serious drug problems or he can't communicate so he lets drugs communicate for him. but, i'm no psychiatrist."

"which star?" samantha asked.

"raymond king. the lead singer of-" i started to say.

"sable sky! oh my god!" miranda exclaimed.

"yeah, that's his band." i confirmed. "anyway, he chose to ditch his gig in favor of hanging out with me last night."

"that's romantic!" charlotte piped up.

"i mean, yeah i guess it is, but the dude doesn't know what he wants." i exclaimed. "when he was sober he told me he didn't want anything serious, but when he was high he was practically ready to marry me!" i exaggerated to get my point across.

"that's how drugs and alcohol work, sweetie." samantha stated bluntly for my own good. "you can say you hate someone one minute, the next minute you're proclaiming your love for them. you don't really mean it, you just like how you feel in the moment."

"plus, not to mention this dude had this weird outburst of saying he was 'high on life', which is so corny!" i exclaimed, clearly frustrated. "i thought that i would give some famous rock star a shot, and look how that turned out. what the hell was i thinking?!"

"he's hot though." samantha, miranda, and carrie all said simultaneously as charlotte sat there with elizabeth taylor in her lap.

"well anyway, i wanted you all too meet my baby...but now i have to go meet mine! my possible baby." charlotte said.

"is it human?" carrie asked as she looked at elizabeth taylor who was now on the ground.

"yes, she's a baby that dakota and i matched with through the adoption program." charlotte answered as she stood up. "i'll see you all later."

housekeeping notes !

rip russell hammond, you would've loved me.