What the Signs Would Buy at Walmart

Aries: gel pens

Taurus: obscure snacks

Gemini: nice scented chopsticks

Cancer: headphones

Leo: hot wheels

Virgo: a large stuffed eagle

Libra: a soft bathrobe

Scorpio: silly printed socks

Sagittarius: the cashier

Capricorn: heelies

Aquarius: pokémon cards

Pisces: a razor scooter