The Signs as Descriptions

Aries: chaotic arsonist

Taurus: neutral rock

Gemini: chaotic mitochondria

Cancer: lawful emo

Leo: neutral dead

Virgo: true cat

Libra: lawful asshole

Scorpio: neutral punk

Sagittarius: chaotic grim reaper

Capricorn: lawful spawn of the devil

Aquarius: neutral nerd

Pisces: chaotic crying