[Yesterday I published a chapter, and if you haven't checked that one out, go read that first. This one might be confusing if you haven't read the twelfth.

Enjoy!]

"I swear, the other day I did that towel drop challenge and hell no you don't want to know how he almost broke his ankle running to me." Neeti laughs.

I awkwardly chuckle, walking into the restaurant. I don't understand how that's something worth sharing.

"You seriously need to try it."

One, Azaan loves his work way too much for the towel drop to work. Two, I don't think it'd be unfair if he just sticks to his work after I drop the towel, because I understand that I'm not getting any attractive by jogging to restaurants. I gain more calories than I burn.

Three, can we change the topic, please?

"I'm still so excited for Rehan and Ramsha," I squeak, "And I know how annoying I am, but I CAN'T BELIEVE I AM THEIR CUPID.

Like I-" I dramatically flick two imaginary tears as I pull out a seat for myself.

Laughing, I look up at Neeti when the waitress comes over. But over Neeti's shoulder, I see Azaan. With Kylie. In this restaurant.

My smile snaps erased. It's not even lunch time yet.

I stare at his laughing face for a while until the piece of organ in my chest feels like a burning coal.

"Sawera!?" Neeti shouts for a third time and I startle.

"Huh?" I look up at the waitress and glance at Azaan and know that he hasn't heard that, the restaurant is busy and loud. I quickly place an order while Neeti turns to look behind herself.

I shoo the waitress away and look back at Azaan. "Is that Kylie?" I lean and whisper to Neeti.

I can only see the back of the woman Azaan is with, but the way he's laughing, I'm certain it's Kylie. He looks so happy.

A man can only have that gleam in his eyes when he's with the love of his life.

I internally pray to Allah as Neeti casually walks outside and secretly takes a picture of the woman Azaan is sitting with. I know I don't pray regularly and I do a lot of haraam stuff but please don't let that be Kylie, please. I promise I'll stop stalking guys on Instagram, I'll start praying regularly, I'll learn reading Arabic and-

Neeti shows me the picture and... It is Kylie.

The heated coal drops to my stomach.

"I'm sorry Sawera, I have a meeting at 10AM. I can't take you to the play."

"Kay Azaan, don't worry. I'll go with Neeti."

~~~

I'm glued to my place, but a little sorted now. I wanted to go home, divorce Azaan and show him that I caught him red-handed but something stops me.

Maybe, it's HumTV. I don't want any dramatic misunderstanding. Maybe his meeting got postponed.

"Hey Azaan, what a coincidence?" I push a forced smile on my face as I walk to him.

I don't know if his eyes actually light up or he fakes a big surprised grin. "Hey! How're you?" He looks at both me and Neeti. "Come, join us." He gets up but I don't give him way to walk and grab a chair for me.

"Naah, I think someone won't be happy with me joining you." I glare at Kylie with a smile plastered on my face all along, she furrows her eyebrows without letting her own smile go. "I thought you had a meeting." I say, brushing a finger over his tie.

"Yea, it got canceled." He shrugs with a frown.

I nod and swallow, "Cool." My chest feels tight. "The play felt a bit off."

I see Neeti paying the bill from the corner of my eye.

I stutter as I say, "Anyway, I was just gonna text you that I won't be home till late at night. Neeti fractured her leg, gotta help her home after her appointment to the doctor at 8PM."

Azaan furrows his eyebrows at Neeti behind me and Neeti hits me, "Geeti," she says, "Geeti, a friend, broke her arm- uh, leg." Neeti drags me out with awkward smiles after Azaan gives a courtesy sorry.

Before leaving the restaurant, I take a once-over of Kylie's buttoned straight skirt that ends two inches above her knees.

"A meeting in a restaurant? I thought that was a movie thing. I mean, I've never seen business meetings happening at restaurants before. Like, never in real life." I don't even hear what Neeti's saying.

I feel shattered.

~~~

I can imagine their conversation after Neeti and I left.

Azaan might have wiped the smile off his face and sighed before sitting back, thanking Allah that I'm gone. Kylie must have rolled her eyes, mimicking my 'I think someone won't be happy with me joining you,' in a baby voice.

How can Azaan be with someone I hate so much?

But how does my hatred matter in any way? He doesn't love me.

Why does he even have me in his house? In such a beautiful apartment?

I force my mind to think better.

GOD.

Aahista Aahista.

Maybe his parents wanted a Pakistani daughter-in-law. He's using me to engage his parents in thinking that he's happily married while he sheepishly dates Kylie in the office.

I'm sure he doesn't work. How can someone work all the time?

My father is another specie, he's used to it. And jokes apart, Azaan isn't much older than me. He's from this generation, and this generation isn't made for hardwork. Especially when you're born in a billionaire household. You don't need to work.

He goes to office for Kylie.

He doesn't work on the laptop, he chats with Kylie all day.

How did I never think of this before!?

"Sawera?" Azaan's voice brings me out of my thoughts. I guess he has already hooked his coat and messenger in the study room. "I thought you were with Geeti." He looks at his watch. "It's 7:30PM"

I hum and stop slouching. After a few breaths I answer, "I'm going."

"You want me to drop you?" He asks and I shake my head, still wondering why I'm so hurt by it all.

It's okay if he's using me.

It's okay. I'm using him for money too. For a shelter, for a place to live in away from my parents but without offending them or having to worry where my next meal will come from. Because I'm sure if I talked about moving out of my parents house, I'd be told that they are not giving me any money for it, nor are they helping me in making my living. Girls are not allowed to move out until they get married.

"You okay?" He takes my hand and asks in a concerned voice.

I nod and get up with a sigh.

He walks to me, "You don't look okay." He ducks his head a little to meet my eyes.

"I'm fine Azaan." I speak with a growl as if he's asked this ten times and sounds annoying.

"Okay, okay." He pushes his hands in the air and I walk past him to the dressing table.

I brush my hair into a ponytail and walk to my sidetable to get my purse. Azaan turns from his library and looks confused as I'm about to walk out. "Sawera?"

I roll my eyes. So I gotta kiss a cheater husband who was caught red-handed with his secretary? I give him a small peck on his cheek. "I'm getting late." I close the door of the bedroom behind me.

I AM STILL UPSET ABOUT IT.

Why am I still upset about it?

Sawera, stop confusing me.

You have nothing to worry about. He can't kick you out of the house, he has to keep his parents happy.

It's all still the same, except that now I can confirm the fact that Azaan is having an affair with Kylie. And it's not like the media's going to get to know about it and my friends are going to leave me in my 'dark times'.

How does it even matter if he's dating Kylie?

I go back to the room and Azaan looks up at me. His sad hazel orbs filled with affection tell me that I'm totally wrong.

He glances behind on the sidetable, and around the room. "Forgot something?" He says dully and looks at the purse in my hand to make sure I've taken it.

"Yes." My heart races as I walk to him. He looks at my feet and puts the book back on the shelf, slowly looking up at me.

I pause. But if he's dating Kylie, why would he want me to kiss him?

He takes a step ahead and grabs my wrists. "What?" He looks down at them, caressing them with his thumb.

I look around. "I think it's cold outside. Maybe I should change my jacket."

"But you're already wearing a thick one." He says, slowly smirking.

"Yeah, I was thinking of taking a thicker one." I say and he keeps smirking.

I draw my eyebrows together in annoyance, and he bites the corner of his lower lip. "I think the closet is on the other side of the room?" He says.

"I know. I just thought of asking you if it is actually cold. I thought you must know how the weather is since you just came." I walk to the closet, slipping my wrists out of his hands.

"Are you sure?" He asks from the library and I nod.

"A hundred and ten percent. What did you think I was going to do?" I ask and take out a thicker jacket.

"I thought you were going to call another friend and tell her to help Geeti because your husband needs you more than her." He semi-shouts.

"You need me?" I emphasize all three words in three different tones while I walk to the room, slipping my hands in the jacket. "Zehnaseeb if I could be of use to you, Azaan sir. But I think you already have Kylie. For everything." I say and his smile fades just as quick as mine did at the restaurant when I saw them together.

"Sawera?"

"Yeah. Let's just make it clear. Because I think I'm getting used for more than I should. And maybe I'm ruining your love life-"

"-Sawera."

"What? It's okay. It's actually okay. I'm fine with it. And I won't let anyone know." I quickly say, sensing danger. He might kill me just to save his reputation. Azaan Ali Khan's affair is a big news. "Not even my friends. I promise."

"Sawera, it's nothing like th-"

"-It will be easier for both of us if you just spill the truth." I say. "And I'm not upset at all. All of this was just because I felt like I was being cheated on, and you know it's a bad feeling. But I'm okay now. You wanna tell me the truth? I'm even okay with you two getting married and her shifting- I mean, she can shift here, but I'd have to shift elsewhere. I don't have any problem with her, but she doesn't like me."

"Sawera, stop it. You're getting on my nerves. This is not a joke but I've been bearing it since the first day. Enough now. Kylie and I have nothing but a professional relationship-"

"-Azaan, shut the fuck-" I groan. "Don't. Lies hurt. If I'm being honest with you, you too need to be honest with me. I'm not even objecting, what is the problem?"

Professional relationship my foot. He rarely ever laughs with me. That beautiful cackle wasn't for professional purposes.

He gently closes the book. "My problem is that Kylie has nothing to do with us. I love you, Sawera. And nobody else." His soft expression is so convincing.

I roll my eyes, trying not to fall in the trap.

"You want to sit down and talk?" He asks, walking to his side of the bed. He unbuckles his watch and throws it on the sidetable.

I go and sit on the sofa of the living room and take off my jacket.

"Why do you cook so many stories in that little brain?" He chuckles with a weird questioning tone as he walks to me.

"Are you calling me light of brain?" I ask and he groans sitting on the coffee table.

"I am not-"

"-You better not." I cut him to make it clear before he can start talking about Kylie.

He looks at me and laughs. "You are impossible."

"Do you want to talk or may I go?" I ask and quickly add 'sir'.

He pauses the smile and looks at me seriously, "Next time you say 'sir' I'm dragging you to the office."

"Zero difference. You work 24/7 in the office and you work 24/7 at home. I stalk boys on Instagram 24/7 at work and do the same at home."

"Sawera, please." He huffs. "Don't tell me that you don't notice the efforts I'm making to minimize the work from home since a month."

I mentally bite my lip.

This last month has been beautiful, we've had the best time of our lives together. Azaan came home early everyday, finished work faster, and we spent dinners, movie nights, and spectacular times. I would have never guessed married life could be this fun.

But I guess the fun part finished really quick.

Today, seeing him with Kylie finished it all.

I thought he had fun with me.

For me it was a short lovely time. Life can't be perfect, after all.

"Yeah, okay, whatever."

"What's your problem with Kylie?" He asks and his focus blurs as he looks at my lips.

"STOP. You always do this. Stop looking at my lips. Nice way to make me forget the topic, Azaan."

"I know. It's not a topic worth talking about. I don't know how and when you created this story." He leans in.

"Not falling for it this time, Azaan. I'm serious about you getting married to Kylie. If the media even tries to reveal the truth, I'll cover it saying that Kylie is a friend of mine and that is why she is living-"

He pulls me in a kiss, and suddenly, everything feels back to normal.

What is normal? The feeling of him belonging to me? Because that is what I feel right now.

Five minutes into the kiss and I've already forgotten the whole incident.

Ten minutes, and I'm now sure he can't love anyone but me.

Two minutes later, he words that out for me. "I love you, and only you. Kay?"

"Yeap." I say.

Jes- God, I'm so stupid.

"Call someone to help your poor friend." He says looking at the wall clock.

I nod and pick my phone up.

God. I am so so stupid.

"Hey, Ramsha. Can you go help Geeti, please? I'm busy." I say.

"Geeti who?" She asks, bewildered.

I cut the call and turn the phone off.

~~~

We have had two amazing nights since that incident, filled with I love yous that made sure he loves me and only me.

But still, like every insecure wife, my thoughts can't help but go there. I don't want to irritate Azaan, I've already irritated him enough.

But I really want Kylie out of our lives. I want to keep having fun with Azaan. Life feels worth living now. I had never known this fun.

Never before have I ever felt as happy as I feel when I am with him.

Abeer might be an asshole but he fixed this for me. He made our relationship better.

The alarm on Azaan's phone goes off and he throws a lazy hand over his phone to swipe it shut.

Azaan pecks on my neck, where his head has been tucked in since last night.

"I love you." I say.

"Mhm." His groggy voice vibrates on my neck.

"No, like really. I think I actually love you."

He looks up with red sleepy eyes and puts his head next to me, nuzzling near my ear. He sighs and closes his eyes. "I love you too, Sawera."

"I think you don't get it." I say and almost think that he has fallen back asleep. "Can I come to the office with you?"

He has not fallen asleep yet. He pushes his hand up on my waist. "Hm?"

"I was thinking of joining the office." I say and he opens his eyes. "Unless you have hired a presentation maker."

"Yea- Um, no." He sits on the bed and wipes his face. He takes a moment to reply, to wake up completely. "I mean Mrs. Sanders, the woman who is in charge of this is back from her maternal leave but of course, you can join whenever you want to." He says, brushing a hand on the back of his neck. "Though I'd have to think what work to give you, because we only have a vacancy in finance -your CV says you were actually here for that- but, I do not trust your..." He leaves it unfinished and raises an eyebrow, indicating the obvious.

"Math." I complete for him.

"But I liked the way you made the presentations more than Mrs. Sanders way and I'd love getting to see you twenty-four hours." He says. "Your father called yesterday to ask about it. I had to get your thoughts on it anyway but I didn't know you'd actually want to. Good that you reminded me of it."

He turns to wear his slippers and goes to the washroom.

I get some sleep while he goes to the gym.

~~~

After taking a good shower, getting rid of the sweat produced by the intense workout today, I lie on my bed and scroll on Kylie's Instagram.

She has many posts. Birdwatching, landscapes photography and oil paintings. She likes travelling and has a few selfies in the iconic places.

I scroll up and read her bio. It has a username. I click on it. That's her personal account. She has thirty-two pictures on this one. She follows two-hundred and sixty seven people and has three hundred and twenty six followers.

I switch to my doodle account and click on follow, then hope that she accepts my request.

While I wait for her to accept it, something new happens.

I overthink in a negative way for myself. Something I've never done before.

And I spend hours on it, because it all slowly starts making sense. Azaan does not love me because he already has a beautiful woman in his life. Kylie.

I get up and make lunch for Azaan.

~~~

I knock on his door and his stern voice saying, "Come in," suggests me otherwise. Leave the building.

I breathe in, deeply. I've never been this nervous.

Before I can touch the handle, Kylie pushes it down and walks in. "Here's your coffee, Azaan."

"Thank you, Kylie." I eavesdrop his groan. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

And everything feels silent again. I feel numb as I walk in. The whole world seems against me and I have this unknown fear to see an expression on his face that reveals that he's been caught red-handed. That would ruin everything for me. I won't be able to see it. So I lower my face and put the tiffin on his desk.

Kylie looks at me and leaves.

I turn to leave, too. But Azaan calls my name. I look at him. He's smiling with his eyes, the coffee going down his throat after kicking his Adam's apple. His posture is calm, his shoulders are resting. His muscles flex as he pushes the coffee mug on his lips. I walk outside again and he calls my name, again.

I look at him and then at his couch. I proceed and sit on it.

"Something seems to bother you." He says after a long while of observing me.

"I'm sorry I got late." I say, looking at the wall clock. Lunch time is from 1PM to 2:30PM. It's 2:16PM right now. I promised him in the morning that I'd bring him lunch.

"It's okay. That's not something to be upset about." He assures.

"Have you had lunch yet?" I ask.

"No, I was waiting for this." He puts the coffee down and takes the tiffin. "Come, sit."

"No, I'm not hungry." My voice breaks as I speak and I clutch my pants to stop my hands from shaking.

His brows draw together and his eyes soften as he speaks, worried. "You don't look okay, Sawera. It's something else."

"No." I clear my throat. "I'm just going through a bad day."

He gestures on the seat in front of him and I walk towards it. I take a seat and he stretches his hand to offer me a bite of the curry wrapped with a tiny piece of roti. I shake my head but eat it when he insists.

"May I know what happened?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean by 'you don't know'? Why are you upset then?" He looks at the clock and sees the time going by.

"Nothing. We'll talk about it later."

"Are you sure?"

No, I'm not and we won't because there's nothing to talk about since you don't want to talk about Kylie at all.

I nod. "You have a meeting after this, I guess." I say, pulling his journal to me.

He offers me another bite and I push my seat back, gesturing him that I'm full.

He quickly gobbles up the food and rushes to the washroom to brush his teeth. He pulls his coat on and kisses me a bye.

"Thank you, Kylie. I don't know what I'd do without you."

~~~

I keep staring at Azaan as he works. And he turns to me for a fifth time. "You are distracting me, Mrs. Azaan Ali Khan."

"Good." I grin. "I feel better."

He's unable to hide his smile and says, "Go home." He looks at his laptop and resumes working.

I keep staring for a while until Kylie knocks. I slowly pull my lips to a straight line as she looks at me. She seems to dislike my presence. Her eyebrows etch as she moves her eyes towards Azaan and informs him of some changes in the schedule.

When she leaves, I walk to Azaan. I fix the coat hanging behind his back on the chair and massage his shoulders.

He rests his back on the chair and turns his head to look at me. "What is your problem, ma'am? Why can you not go home?"

I plant a long kiss on his jaw and he pulls me in front of him.

"God. Okay, now seriously. I'll be home in two hours. Can you wait, please? I can't concentrate."

I sit on his desk and pull open his shirts first two buttons, "Do you think I care?"

"Of course, you don't. But you do care about how much you hate seeing me working at home, right? Let me finish this here?" He requests with his eyes.

I look in his eyes with a really gentle look and shake my head, leaning in to kiss him as I put a hand on his chest. I tangle the other hand in his hair and pull him to me.

My hand trails down his chest but he stops it and I gasp when he pulls my neck a little harsher than I thought he would. He nibbles on my lip and I moan, shifting on his lap.

I devour his lips while his hand goes inside my shirt, slowly reaching up to unhook my bra.

Just as my bra clips open, the door opens with a swift and Kylie's voice fumbles as she quickly utters a sorry and closes the door.

Azaan hastily pulls back and I turn to look at the door but I only catch the door closing.

I look at Azaan who's glaring at me, fuming with anger.

"What?"

He closes the laptop from my side, leans his back on the chair and takes a deep breath before saying anything. I lean on him and he takes my hand, then guides it away. "Stop it, now." He says.

"She should have knocked." I reach to kiss him again but he pushes my hand away and reaches up to hook my bra again.

"Stop and go home." He says without meeting my eyes.

I giggle, "Are you blushing? Mr. Azaan Ali Kh-"

"-This is the last time, Sawera. Leave." He looks at me, raising his head and showing his face full of rage.

I grit my teeth. I had already expected this.

I get up and stare at his unbelievable thinking till he shouts, "Leave!"

I startle out of my thoughts and gasp. I take my purse and push the door open, then walk outside.

Kylie spares a hesitant glance and goes to his office.

I huff and look heavenwards. I stomp my feet till the car and drive to my parents.

~~~

When I hear the jingling of the keys on the other side of the apartment door, I quickly wipe my tears, get up, wear my slippers, go to my room and slam the door.

I pace in the room, frustrated.

"I'll be home in two hours."

Well, I think your math is worse than mine Azaan, because no matter how bad mine is, I know that 4PM to 10PM does definitely not make two hours.

He knocks on the door and I stop on my way to the other side of the room to stare at the door as if it would inform Azaan of my anger. I plomp down on the dressing table and cry for a bit more.

The door creaks open, and reveals Azaan, in his button up shirt and slacks. "Sawera?"

I sniff in the tissue paper, looking down at the dressing table. "Go away."

"Were you," he reluctantly starts, and I'm sure he just rushed a hand through his hair, "crying?" He walks to me.

I look at my crying reflection in the mirror and whip my head to him to throw daggers. "Get. Lost. Azaan."

He stands still, watching me. I move my gaze to my shaking hands.

When I notice him motionless watching me cry, I look at him to make sure what I noticed was right and get up to go when I realise I'm right.

"Order some food because I didn't make any." I say before opening the door and he runs to hold me.

He pushes my back on his chest and sweetly watches my eyes. "Are you mad at me?" He asks.

And I promise to not fall in his lies or eyes again.

I stare right back and reply with a sweet shake of head as I speak with gritted teeth "You told me that you don't love anyone but me and then you got angry at me for loving you in front of that Kylie? Of course, I'm not mad at you." I push his hands down.

He turns me round. "Can you stop using Kylie's name in everything? Please?" He speaks, his jaw tense at the end.

"Of course, I'm sorry. It must hurt to lie that you don't love her again and again." I push my shoulder on his chest and leave.

He doesn't come behind me. I go to one of the guestroom, close the door, pull the stool of the dressing table near the door, stand on it, lock the door and cry on the bed.

He got angry because his lover saw us together and he spent hours in the office to convince her that he's just using me.

~~~

I've been lying on the bed, in the guestroom -which is probably my new room, because I don't feel like going back there with Azaan in his room - for the past one hour. And while I stare at the ceiling and draw patterns in the air, "Sawera?" Azaan's voice comes for my search from the other side.

"Hm?" I answer, loud enough for him to hear.

I hear a knock on the door. "Darwaaza toh kholo."

I sigh. "I'm busy."

I don't hear much from the other side till an hour. "Sawera, khaane pe toh aa jaao."

Uss hi pe toh nahin aana.

"Aise kis kaam mein busy ho, yaar? Do second baat hi kar lo." I notice the slang he never uses.

A minute passes by and then he shouts my name from the kitchen.

I close my eyes and turn to my left.

~~~

I go to his room and see him using his laptop there. He looks up and turns it off, mumbling a sorry for using it in the room.

I take my pyjamas from the closet and I'm about to walk back to my new room when with a quick flash of images, I'm suddenly between his arms. His chest pressed on my back.

"Where are you going?" He asks.

"To change." I say and try to step away but he doesn't let me go.

"You can change in the washroom." He kisses my earlobe.

"I, I," I pause, "I like that one more."

"You know I keep my professional and personal lives separate, right?" He asks, rubbing his five o'clock on my cheeks.

"Yea, I'm sorry. I got a little emotional." I try to get my face away, "Oho, your beard hurts."

He laughs and kisses me.

~~~

I breathe.

Beneath Azaan's rigid body, it seems hard to get any tiny bit of air. I shift away. He mumbles something into my neck. "Azaan," I whisper and slowly move aside.

I sit up and look at his perfectly defined back muscles slowly lifting with every inhale and falling with every exhale. He's deep in sleep.

I take my night robe and climb out of bed after securing it around me.

I wander in the living room for a while, but then I slowly shift to the dressing table of one of the guestrooms.

I don't bother to turn the lights on, the moonlight is enough.

I chant a breathing mantra, but the pool of tears in the back of my head is tired of holding it in.

"Mama, I, I think I don't like Azaan."

"So? Look, Sawera, you were given the choice. You wanted to marry h-"

"-No, I'm not saying that." I watched mama gulp down another glass of Gin. "Um, I think he doesn't like me either."

She looked at me from top to bottom and back up. "Of course, do you see yourself? You need to maintain your weight, cook good food and a man like Azaan is not hard to keep in control."

I scratched my head, "Mama, I just want some time away from him. Can I stay over for a few days?"

"NO! Don't even think of that. I'm tired of all of you. Your father is enough of a burden on my head, I don't need another."

"Mama?"

"Zip it and go home."

I open the drawers of the dressing table, diverting my attention from the tears rolling down my cheeks.

"I thought you had a meeting."

"Yea, it got canceled."

I'm not saying he should be working all the time during work hours. Or that he isn't allowed restaurant outings for a break.

But that day, he sneaked out of bed at night and went in his study. And I'm not suspecting him, I trust him if he says that he was working.

And I'm not saying that he should have finished the work in the morning instead of having breakfast with Kylie, so we could spend time together in the afternoon.

Or maybe I am saying all of it, but I want to deny thinking like this because I feel like a toxic partner.

I sigh and a tear rolls down. I push my head back and look at the ceiling.

But. It hurt seeing him laughing that carefree with Kylie.

But it's not really, um, his mistake. I already knew about him and Kylie. I don't know why I'm surprised.

I look around the dark room. It's lifeless, too minimal and simple. It has no decoration pieces or pictures. It's an empty white room with a bed, a TV, a couch and a white marbled dressing table.

I think I was slowly accepting that he and Kylie only have a professional relationship.

I rest my head on the white-marbled dressing table.

The way he looks at me, he makes me feel like he loves me. More than anyone. More than anything. It makes me think that I shouldn't be worried. Because he, feels... mine.

Just about half an hour ago, it felt like he loved me. And I wanted to shrug that Kylie image off. I wanted to make myself believe that he's just happier with the people his age because when I think about all the parties in which we have been, I'm sure he has laughed more, better, louder. And it makes sense, they understand him better.

But looking at myself, in the mirror, I understand how it's impossible to know a woman as beautiful as Kylie and still love me.

I don't have her beautiful cheekbones. I have unattractive fluffy cheeks that have always been here. I don't have her 32C - 24 - 32 figure. I'm indescribably fat and getting fatter every day. Her eyes are that gorgeous shade of blue that my brown ones can never match. My brown hair is nothing compared to her beautiful blonde hair.

She's a model-looking secretary. I'm an ex-Instagram model, and even as a model I was never as beautiful as she is.

The door creaks open and while Azaan runs his gaze around the room, I wipe my cheeks. He sees me and slowly walks in. I look away from his body, seeing him in only his boxers. "Yahaan kyaa kar rahi ho, Sawera?" He blinks, still sleepy.

I clear my throat and smile, trying my best to not sound like I just cried, I say, "Kuchh nahin. Tum Fajr parrhne lage ho? Main aa rahi hoon." I point to the door and when he doesn't move I walk past him outside.

He grabs my hand midway. "Tum ttheek ho?"

I nod and reply with a soft hm.

"Nahin, tum ttheek nahin ho." He says and turns me.

"Yaar, Azaan, ttheek hoon." I push him away, feigning irritation but he manages to pull me in.

He tucks my hair away, "Phir ro kyun rahi thi?" He asks and I reach for my cheeks. They're dry, I softly touch below my eyes.

"Ro nahin rahi thi main." I say and when he looks at me with a smirk, I know I'm stupid. Why would I have checked my cheeks if not to know whether I had tears or tear stains there or not?

"Ab bataao kyun ro rahi thi?" He nuzzles in my neck and I push him away.

"Namaaz parrh lo." I walk to the closet and he tries to approach and ask again but I move to the washroom attached with a guestroom.

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