CHAPTER 22

I end up waking up at nine A.M sharp even though I don't have anything planned. 

I open my curtains and walk towards the bathroom to freshen up.

 After I come back, I clean my bed, folding my sheets. I can't help but feel like a new person. I look at my bed site table because I know the needles are inside. 

Slowly, I take a few steps towards it. I reach my hand out, opening the drawer, holding the needle in between my thumb and index finger. I move it slowly towards my skin, making sure the fluid is absorbed into my blood. I grab a plaster and cover the spot with it before rolling my sleeve down.

I sigh because I know this isn't unhealthy but surely it's just a phase. A phase everyone goes through. Most people at least.

I realise that it's the last needle and that Dan had only given me two. I sigh as I quickly get dressed, grabbing some money and tip toe out of the house. I walk towards the familiar alley way that I met Dan at and I hope that he's there because I don't know what I'll do if he isn't there. 'Well, well, well, if it isn't Kiera who is back for more?' I turn around facing Dan who's smirking.

'Shut up Dan and who said I'm back for more?' I respond annoyed at his attitude.

'You didn't need to, I can tell these things.' I scoff shaking my head.

'I need more.'

'That was the free sample.' I roll my eyes before asking 'How much do you want?'

'It depends, how many needles do you want?'

'It depends, how many needles do you have?' I retort and he smirks before checking.

 'I have ten.'

'Well, I want all ten then.'

'Seen as you're just starting off, I'll sell them to you for twenty pounds.' I smirk as that was a lot cheaper than I had expected.

'You have yourself a deal.' I reply as I hand him twenty pounds. He smirks as he gives me more needles. I gladly take them as I walk away. 

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'Where have you been?' Lily asks as soon as I get home. I close the door and turn around to face her. I notice Rosabella is by her side and I can't help but roll my eyes.

'I decided to go for a walk,’ I reply, shrugging my shoulders.

'You know that it’s nearly ten don't you?' She replies as she stares at me.

'Yeah and your point is?' I ask sarcastically.

'You never get up this early,’ she replies.

'Well I did today.’ I want to drop the subject but she opens her mouth to reply so I quickly say ‘Anyway, what are you guys up to?'

'We're going to hang out today,' Rosabella replies. Before I reply Lucy walks into the house, almost as if it’s her own. She gives me a confused look as she inspects my outfit.

'You're awake?'

'Is that a problem?' I sarcastically ask. She rolls her eyes and turns to face Lily.

'I came to collect my clothes.' Lily nods before going upstairs leaving Rosabella standing opposite us. 'What?' Lucy asks as Rosabella stares at her.

 'You're pathetic, do you know that? I don't know what Lily saw in you in the first place. She deserves so much better-'

'Oh you mean someone like you?' Lucy retorts.

'Yes, someone like me.'

'Why don't you go and tell someone who cares? Because I certainly don't,’ Lucy replies coldly and I can tell she definitely cares.

'Why would I waste my breath on you?' Rosabella asks as she folds her arm, glaring at Lucy.

 'I don't know, maybe I'm just a little bit more worth it than you are.'

'Shut up Lucy.' I reply hoping she'll take my advice.

'Why? Because you know it’s true?' Lucy replies as she looks at me. I roll my eyes at her and Rosabella scoffs loudly as she coldly asks 'Really? Is that what Kiera's dad thought?' I bite my tongue and Lucy gasps before storming out of the house. 

Lily comes down the stairs a few minutes later with a bag in her hand. 'Where's Lucy?' She asks and Rosabella shrugs her shoulders as if she has no idea. I roll my eyes and take the bag from Lily's hand before sprinting out of the house.

'Lucy!' I shout as I see her across the street. She stops, turning around and waits for me to catch up with her.

'What?'

'Luce,' I say once I notice that she has tears streaming down her face.

'I'm fine,' she replies, not wanting to make eye contact with me.

'Are you sure about that?' I reply quietly.

'What do you want?'

'I came to give you this.' I reply as I give her the bag. She sighs as she takes it and carries on walking. 'Luce, wait.' I call as I grab her arm, twisting her round to face me.

'I'm coming with you-‘

'Its fine, you can go back to them,’ she says emotionlessly as she cuts me off.

'I don't want to, I want to hang out with you,' I reply sincerely.

'Kiera, you just feel bad, I know you'd rather hang out with them so why don't you just do that?' She replies faking a smile.

'I do feel bad, I'm not going to deny that but I don't want to hang out with them.' Brushing her hair away from her face, I say 'Luce I want to hang out with my best friend and I thought you knew me?' I fold my arms and she asks 'Kiera do you mean that?'

'I wouldn't lie to you Lucy so there is no need to look surprised,' I reply as I loosen my grip on her.

'Do you think I deserved that?' More tears flow down her cheeks. I wipe them away using my thumb and brush her hair away from her face.

'No, she was out of order Luce,' she sighs and I wrap my arms around her neck trying to comfort her. 'I'm sorry I would've defended you if I knew she was going to say this-'

'Its fine-'

'It’s not, I really am sorry,' she pulls away and smiles gratefully. I hold my hand out for her to take and she gladly does. 'Are you going to your house now?' She nods and I say 'I need to get something from Lily's house, do you want to come with me?'

'No, not really,' she mumbles.

'Luce, it'll be fine, I'll be there with you. I'm totally on your side and if they say anything, they will regret it.' I squeeze her hand tighter and she nods. 

We walk back to Lily's house and we hear the sound of their laughter. Lucy looks uncomfortable and I pull her towards me, 'I'm right here,' I whisper and she nods thankfully. Lily and Rosabella walk out of the kitchen as they hear the door open.

'Oh, what are you doing back?' Lily asks me curiously.

'I forgot something, why did you miss me already Lily?' She scoffs smiling.

'You wish.'

'Whatever, your obsession is unhealthy Lily,' she grins, rolling her eyes as I continue to mock her.

'Why is she here?' Rosabella asks rudely referring to Lucy.

'I'm sorry what does this have to do with you?' I reply annoyed.

'Everything because I'm Lily's best friend.'

'And I'm Lucy's best friend. And you being Lily’s so called best friend doesn't really mean you can say who comes in and out of this house, surely you should know that.' Lucy tenses behind me and I wrap my arm around her. Rosabella scoffs walking to the bathroom. Lily walks towards us and apologises.

 'Lucy I'm sorry, I had no idea she said that to you.'

'Its fine,' she mutters quietly.

'Whatever Lily, don’t act like you care,' I reply and Lily scoffs loudly, choosing to ignore my comment.

'Lucy,' Lily strokes her hair before pulling her in for a hug. To my surprise, Lucy doesn't pull away. I play with the ends of Lucy's hair as I watch their interaction. They pull away and they both share a smile. Lucy looks at me as she rests her head on my shoulder.

 'Kiera, have you eaten?'

'Shut up Lily, now isn't the time to ask me that question.' I snap. Lucy stands up straight and says 'Now is the perfect time to ask that.' I clench my jaw as I stop playing with Lucy's hair.

'I don’t really understand how this is even relevant.'

'Kiera.' Lucy says seriously.

'Yes, I have had breakfast,' I lie and Lucy raises her eyebrows and Lily tilts her head. 'What? You don't believe me?'

'Can you blame us?' Lily questions and I sigh loudly.

'I have had breakfast, it's great I have such supportive friends by my side.' I reply as I walk up the stairs leaving them to talk about me.

I walk into my room and sit on my bed. I look straight ahead and a photo catches my attention. It’s a photo of my mother and me. How could I have not looked at it in detail before? It’s a photo I have seen plenty of times but this time, a police officer and Elaine behind us captures my attention. It's as if they don't know a photo is being taken. I can't help but wonder what they were talking about. 

'Hey.' Lucy says as her and Lily walk into my room.

'What do you want? Have you come to tell me you don't believe me then?' Lucy scoffs as she sits next to me.

'We believe you Kiera, how could you think that we didn't?' Lucy replies putting her hand on my knee.

'You don't have to deny it, it’s pretty obvious that you don't believe me.' I mutter, trying to keep up the act. Again.

'Kiera.' Lily says as she sits on my other side linking her arm with mine. 'We just want the best for you, that's it.'

'That's not your job.' I say under my breath.

'Yes it is.' Lucy replies as she intertwines our fingers, 'we are your best friends Kiera, don't ever forget that and we apologise for ourselves and on the behalf of Katie if we made you feel uncomfortable.'

'You force fed me, apologising doesn't make up for that.' I reply but can't help but feel a little guilty.

'Kiera that was for your own good,' Lily replies and I scoff loudly.

'What Lily means is that we don't want to stand by and watch you do this to yourself. Kiera we love you so much. We're not going to lose you to a brain tumour but if you're suffering from anorexia along with it, then we just might lose you and I won't be able to handle that.'

'That doesn't give you the right to make me shove food down my throat. I mean, newsflash, I do have feelings,' I reply coldly and they sigh.

'We're really sorry,' Lucy replies squeezing my hand and Lily rubs my forearms. I notice Lucy analysing my facial expression so I hide my face in the crook of her neck and she rests her hand on my back, stroking it softly. Rosabella walks in and says 'Lily,' Lily stands up to face her but I don't move.

'Hey,’ Lily replies.

'What are you doing in here?' Rosabella asks and I can detect the curiosity in her voice.

'Just talking, anyway I think you should apologise for what you said to Lucy.' Rosabella sighs loudly before mumbling 'Sorry.'

'If you don't mean it then there is no point apologising.' I mumble into Lucy’s neck but judging by the silence I'm guessing they heard.

'Kiera.' Lucy warns quietly.

'It’s true.' I reply.

'Kiera, seriously,' she replies and I lift my head up.

‘Shall we go?' I ask, desperately wanting to leave. Lucy nods her head and stands up. I mimic her actions, standing beside her.

'Lucy, she is sorry,' Lily says and I laugh. They all turn to look at me and Rosabella says 'I'm glad you're finding this amusing. Who knows when you'll laugh again with your medical record?' Multiple gasps are heard from the room and I turn to face Lily who looks shocked.

'You told her?'

'Kiera, I'm sorry,' she replies sadly.

'How could you tell her something like that Lily? Is there something wrong with you?' Lucy asks loudly as she slips her hand in mine. Lily doesn't reply so she turns to face Rosabella. 'Who the hell do you think you are? I get that you're annoyed at me and that's totally fine. I mean, you can say whatever you want to me and I won't have a problem with it. But when you begin insulting my friends and my best friend at that, that's when we'll have a problem.'

'Lucy,' I say silently begging to leave. She understands as she sighs and gives Lily a disgusted look before leading me out of the house.