You're Not Alone

This is a one-shot, so don't expect another chapter or anything. And you might have expected this to be in WWE One-Shots, but it's longer than my other ones and deals with a serious issue, so that's why this is separate. I will have a warning before this one-shot begins, so please read it.

This is based on the song You're Not Alone by Of Mice & Men.

WARNING: THIS ONE-SHOT CONTAINS TRIGGERS. IT MENTIONS SUICIDE AND HAS SELF-HARM. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

***

"The winner of this match and the number one contender for the Divas Championship: Ellie!"

Eleanor's hand was raised in the air. She grinned.

Once she went backstage, she got ready for her interview with Renee Young.

"Ladies and gentleman, please welcome my guest at this time," Renee says. "Ellie."

The camera zoomed out and Ellie was standing next to Renee. Before she could say anything, Paige, the Divas Champion, ran in and hit her with the title. She continued to hit Ellie.

"You'll never take this title from me!" Paige yelled. "You're not good enough! You'll never be as good as me!"

The cameras stop rolling and Paige gets up, offering a hand to Eleanor, who accepts.

"Are you okay?" Paige asks, frowning. "You're crying."

Eleanor touches her face and can feel its wetness. "Oh, I'm fine. It's just sweat."

"Well... If you're sure..."

"I'm fine, Paige, I promise," She reassures the Brit.

"Okay..." Paige says. "I'll see you later then."

Paige and Eleanor go their separate ways. Eleanor goes to her locker room and locks the door. She looks at herself in the mirror.

Even if it was scripted, Paige was right. She wasn't good enough. She never was and never would be good enough. She didn't deserve to face Paige for the Divas Championship.

Her face was wet. Paige had been right, she was crying. She let every little thing get to her. She didn't even deserve to have Paige worry about her.

Eleanor turned sideways and looked at herself in the mirror. She was still in her ring gear, so she could see what everyone was talking about. She'd had multiple people on Twitter and Instagram ask if she was pregnant. She wasn't lucky enough to have a guy look at her for more than five seconds, let alone have sex with her.

When she'd read those comments, she'd have to calm herself down. She'd look at the razor blades in her bathroom and feel so tempted to run them across her skin. She hadn't done so in two months, but she always felt like it wasn't worth it and be tempted to give in to her old ways.

She turned back around and looked at her whole body in the mirror. She bit her lip and looked down at her razor sitting in front of her. She didn't deserve to live, did she? No one would miss her.

She picked up the razor -

Someone knocked on the door.

"Ellie?"

Seth Rollins. The only person who might care if she died. The reason she was two months clean. The one thing she didn't deserve the most.

He didn't know about it. About any of it. He was her only friend and she didn't want to scare him away.

She took a deep breath and replied. "Yeah?"

"Are you almost ready?" He asked. "If you're not, that's cool. Just let me know when you are."

"I'm almost ready," She replied. "Just a minute."

She quickly changed out of her ring gear and put on some sweats and a t-shirt. She put her things into her bag and opened the door.

He smiled when he saw her. She gave him a small one in return.

"Come on," He said, gently. He could tell she had been crying, but he didn't say anything.

He could always tell when she had been crying. He had just joined the main roster two months ago and he could tell instantly that she needed a friend. He was willing to be that friend.

They walked down the hallway and outside into the cold January air. Ellie began to shiver and looked down. Seth just smiled and took off his jacket, putting it on her shoulders. She looked up at him, surprised.

"It looks like you need it more than I do," He said, sticking his hands in his pockets.

"But I... Are you..." She stumbled. Blushing, she finally gets out, "What about you?"

"Relax, I'll be fine," He said. When he saw the look on her face, he added, "I wouldn't have given it to you if I needed it. I promise."

Ellie just nodded as they walked. They finally reached Seth's car. He opened the door for her and she thanked him as she got in. Once he shut the door and got in, he began driving.

A million thoughts began running through Eleanor's mind.

Why did he always treat her so nicely? She didn't deserve it and she knew it. She didn't deserve to be treated so nicely, and she didn't deserve to be driven around by him, and she definitely didn't deserve his friendship.

Seth could tell by her face that she was thinking, so he didn't want to interrupt her. He kept quiet as he drove.

Finally, they reached the hotel. Once again, he opened the door for her and they went in. He walked her to her room. When they got there, Ellie looked at him.

"Could you...? I mean, if you don't mind...?"

Seth smiled. "I'll sleep with you, Ellie. Don't worry."

They walked into her room.

When they had first started hanging out, she would ask him to sleep with her. He found it odd, but he accepted, assuming there was some reason behind it. He didn't know that he kept her nightmares away.

She grabbed her pajamas and went into the bathroom to change. When she came out, Seth was sitting on the bed. Normally, her room had two beds, but today, just as she was beginning to notice, her room only had one bed. She blushed and Seth looked at her.

He smiled. "If you want me to go, I can."

"No!" She blurted out. Her face grew redder. "I mean... Um, if you don't mind - "

"Don't worry, I'll stay," He said, chuckling. "I just wanted to make sure. I didn't want to do anything you didn't want to do."

She didn't deserve his thoughtfulness.

She gave him a small smile and walked over to the bed.

"Thank you," She said, softly.

"I'll stay on this side of the bed so you don't think I'm trying anything," He says.

She laughed.

Oh God, why did I laugh? She thought. Her laugh was horrible and she knew it.

Seth just smiled and laid down. Ellie reached over and turned off the light.

***

Eleanor woke with a start. Her heart was beating fast and she could feel herself sweating. The clock on the bedside table read 1:15. She felt someone's arms wrapped around her and she turned around slowly.

Seth was behind her, and he was awake. He had a worried look on his face.

"Hey," He said, softly. "Are you okay? You were shaking."

"I-I'm fine," She says. "It was just a bad dream. I'm fine, I promise."

Seth realized he was still holding her, so he let go. "Okay..."

He didn't believe her, but he wasn't going to say anything.

"I have to go to the bathroom," She said. "Go back to sleep. I'll be fine, I promise."

Seth just nodded and laid back down. Once his breathing got slower and she was sure he was asleep, she got out of bed and went into the bathroom.

She hadn't had a nightmare in two months and suddenly it had come back. Whenever she woke up from one, she couldn't go back to sleep because he would be haunting her dreams, and she couldn't risk it.

Whenever she was awake after one of her nightmares, she did the one thing she always did.

***

Seth opened his eyes when he heard the bathroom door shut. He needed to make sure Ellie was okay. Once the door opened, he would close his eyes and try sleeping again.

It was quiet for a few minutes, then he heard a drawer open. It was quiet again for a few more minutes, but then he heard...sniffling? Was she crying?

It got a little louder, but quickly died down again, like she was trying to hide it. Seth got up and went to the door. He knocked.

"Ellie? Are you okay?" He asked.

She sniffled. "I-I'm fine."

Seth opened the door anyway. Ellie sat on the floor, her pants pulled down to her knees. She had a razor in her hand and red lines on her thighs. She looked at Seth with tears in her eyes, threatening to spill over.

"I'm sorry..." She said softly. Tears began rolling down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry. I tried, I really did, and..." Her crying got worse and Seth couldn't understand what she was saying anymore.

He walked over to her and took the razor out of her hand, setting it on the counter. He sat down next to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Shh, it's okay," He said. "It's going to be okay. Calm down."

They sat like that for a long time: Ellie crying and Seth hugging her, running his hand through her hair.

Finally, Ellie stopped crying, but Seth refused to let go of her.

"I'm sorry..." She repeated.

Seth stood up. "Don't move. I'm going to clean you up, okay?"

She nodded as he grabbed some paper towels and began cleaning up the blood. When he finished, she pulled her pants up and he picked her up and brought her to the bed. She didn't protest.

He turned on the light and she looked at him. "I'm sorry..."

"You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for," He said. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I knew you were sad, I could tell, but I didn't do anything to help you."

"You've done enough," She said.

"No, I haven't," He protested. "How long has this been happening?"

She shrugged. "Since I was a kid. It's been on and off since then. I was clean for two months before tonight. I was actually proud of myself for once, but that's what I get for being happy."

Seth frowned. "You should never feel bad for being happy. Happiness is one of the best parts of life."

"Whenever I'm happy, something comes by to ruin it," She explained. "My nightmares have been gone for two months and I was able to sleep for a full night for a while, but tonight..."

"Is that why you were shaking?" He asked.

She nodded. "Yeah..."

"Did you say two months?" He asked. "Isn't that...?"

"Seth, I've never said this, so I guess now is the time to say it," She said. "I haven't been happier than I have been these past two months. I haven't been very happy, but I guess I've been less sad. Thank you so much for coming into my life. You don't understand how much it means to me."

"Ellie, just know that you're not alone," He said. "I'll always be here. No matter what happens. I'm here for you."

"Can I tell you something?" She asked. "Like, a secret?"

"Absolutely."

"I..." She took a shaky breath.

"Take your time," He said.

"I...was planning on killing myself," She said. His eyes widened. "I had a date picked out and everything. December 25th. Christmas Day. No one likes me and I'm just in the way, so I figured it would be a gift, you know? I had no friends. But then you came along, and I realized that you might actually miss me if I was gone. So... Well, I'm still here."

"I would miss you like hell," He said. "And you have amazing fans who would miss you, too."

"It doesn't feel like I have fans," She said, looking down. "All I ever see are comments about how I'm fat and ugly, which isn't news to me, so I'm not sure where my fans are."

"Eleanor." He never called her that. It had been Ellie from day one. She looked up. "You are absolutely beautiful. You are not fat and you are not ugly. Don't listen to anyone who tells you that you are."

Ellie's eyes teared up. "You're the first person to tell me that."

"It's true. I'm sorry no one has ever told you, but it's true," He said.

She sighed. "Seth?"

"Yeah?"

"It's only been two months, but I consider you my best friend. You're my only friend, but it's okay," She says. "You're willing to talk with me at one in the morning and I've never had friends who have done that before. Thank you for being my friend."

"Just know that you're never alone. I'll always be right here."

"Can you promise me something?" She asked.

"Of course."

"Will you promise to never leave me?"

"I promise."

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