Yes, it tis' I, your not so friendly neighborhood recluse who may or may not have been spending the last couple years or so hiding away in a dark cave while my mind slowly descends into madness and I adopt a second personality that refers to itself in the first person and may or may not have murderous tendencies towards fish or people while being obsessed with jewelry. 

So now you might be wondering (if anyone is still around and has noticed my absence, which if you haven't don't worry I take no offense to this I'd probably not notice either) where the heck I've been and what I've been up to. Well, I suppose the best place to start is from the beginning... 

[Whimsical flashback music plays]

So awhile back, around the month of October in good old 2017, I posted in my previous rant book that I had lost all my motivation for writing. And that was due to an event that had happened earlier that year, which was my family packing up and moving from our current home in August. I also made a post about this on my profile. 

That move was not easy nor a good time for me. For context, the place we were currently living in was starting to feel more and more like home to me. I was starting to make new friends, all of my cousins, aunts, uncles, they all lived there and I  was spending a lot of time with them. I was making plans with one of my cousins for the upcoming year to just go out and do fun stuff (like a healthy teenager should) I felt like I was on top of the world and my future was bright.

Then my parents broke the news to me one morning that we were going to be moving away from all that. 

And 

I

Was

Devastated

Like, why? Why after everything was just starting to go well for me, when I was finally in a happy place in a happy mindset, would they uproot everything and take us away from all my new friends, all of our family, to a place where I've never had any connection to and had no desire to live at again. 

So yeah, I was in a very bad slump throughout the moving process. I hated packing up my room, telling my newly made friends that I'd be leaving (please note that I have not had an actual friend in real life since the 2nd grade) as well as my cousins who'd I'd grown closer to. I was a mess during the drive to our new home (which was 2 and a half hours away so forget frequent visits) where our new house was too small and all I could think about was everything we'd left behind.

I'm not exaggerating when I say that I was literally in bed for weeks. I hardly ate or interacted with anyone and only left my room to get water or when we left the house. It was a miserable time and I could not convince myself to do anything but stay in bed. 

Eventually, though, I had to end this cycle of sleeping, only waking up to eat a meal or two, do my schoolwork, then go right back to bed. 

Also my parents were no longer allowing me to sleep through the day so I kinda had no choice. 

So I distracted myself with my laptop, using YouTube as a distraction and attempting to jump into writing again and for a little bit, it worked. 

I took a step back from fanfiction and began working on an original story, which helped to boost my spirits a bit when the first few chapters received a positive reception. But eventually, as most of you know, I soon started becoming less and less active here on Wattpad until one day, I disappeared altogether. 

My reason for that will be covered in a future chapter, but this was just to give a quick idea as to why I stopped writing my fanfics, along with my gradual decline in activity. 

But yeah, that's the main gist of it. I was in a very bad place mentally, but since then I've been doing much better! 

thinks of my current mental state

Okay I am doing slightly better. 

Joking aside, I have improved since that time, and while I'm not fully recovered yet I have gotten to the point where I've found motivation again and this time am actually willing to try and start being more active on here. Hopefully bringing you new stories while tying up some loose ends I left hanging. 

(I know for a fact that there is a certain dark-haired elf who is not happy with me for shoving him into a closet and forgetting that he was there for almost 2 years)

So this is the first of a series of updates of my life. The next one will fill y'all in on what I've been up too during my absence and I promise it'll be much more lighthearted than this rather depressing update. 

Alright, I'm out. 

(oh my gosh I've missed saying that)