Epilogue - Part 3

Assia's so... adorable. And I don't use that word lightly. She looks so fragile that you just want to protect her from all the evils in the world.

"Name?" Atty. asked when Assia volunteered herself for recitation. My eyes widened a bit. I never volunteered for recitation because there's the implication that I was prepared and truth be told, I would never be prepared enough to volunteer. All my recitations are involuntary—and against my will, to be completely fucking honest.

"dela Serna po," she replied and proceeded to reciting a case. My heart was pounding dangerously inside my chest. Fuck. I didn't even read that whole case because it was freaking long! I can fall asleep just by thinking about it. I just read the digested version and honestly, hoped for the best.

Que sera sera, motherfuckers.

"That will do," Atty. Plaridel said after Assia recited the case flawlessly. "Any more volunteer?" he asked. I looked around, wishing for someone else to volunteer because that would mean lesser chance for me to be called... but I never expected for Sancho to raise his hand. "Last name?"

"Cantavieja, Sir," he replied while he was standing.

"Why are you all volunteering?" I whispered to Assia. "What the fuck is wrong with the two of you?"

"Baka kasi matawag si Vito kapag nagshuffle," she replied.

My lips parted. "Ah, shit. Do I need to volunteer, too?" I asked.

"Nag-aral ka naman... 'di ba?"

"Yeah... but I didn't read the fucking cases. They're so long."

"Kaya nga binigay 'yung cases kasi kailangang basahin. 'Di naman binigay sa 'tin 'yan for fun."

"Whatever, sister Assia," I said as I was already looking for the cases that weren't discussed yet. I said a little prayer before I began because to be honest, I was quite sure that I wouldn't retain half the shit I was reading. But thankfully, the prof just grilled Sancho. I was saved!

"Aren't you worried that he'll fail you?" I asked after we were dismissed. After Sancho's recitation, I was worried for a few seconds because I thought I would need to volunteer, but thankfully, Atty. Plaridel began his sermon about how we should be the 'good' kind of lawyers. I just nodded along. I have no plans on being anything yet. I was seriously just here because of fomo. When asked in class as to why I want to become a lawyer, I just say that it's a lifelong dream—better answer that the truth of me being peer-pressured into enrolling.

"Fail me?"

"Yeah. You basically debated with him."

"I don't think so," he said. "Or his ego must be so fragile if he'll fail me just because I questioned some of the things he pointed out."

After that, Sancho headed to his car while Assia rode in mine. She was quiet the whole time, but also, she seemed anxious.

"Matagal bang tahiin iyong sugat?" she asked.

"I think it depends on the cut," I replied. She just nodded but when I looked at the rearview mirror, I saw her sighing.

Okay.

She likes Vito.

And Vito obviously likes her.

This shit is entertaining.

When we arrived at the hospital, we saw Vito wandering around. I let Assia walk towards him. Now that I knew that the feeling's mutual, they're more entertaining to look at—it's like a 'will they, won't they' situation.

"Told you I'll just drive myself home," Vito said, looking at me. I just shrugged at him. What did he want me to do? Ditch Assia? He basically threatened me to chauffer her around.

"Yeah, right. What did the doctor say?" I asked but I wasn't really listening because the details bore me. Once I heard that he was okay, I kinda tuned out his voice. "Dinner?" I asked, instead.

"Do you need to go home already?" Vito asked Assia.

She shook her head. "Sa fastfood na lang tayo, please."

Vito being Assia-whipped said, "Yeah, sure."

We went to the red bee and Assia and Vito were flirting about who would fall in line. Honestly!

"Oh, for God's sake," I said, unable to watch them any longer because I was getting hungry. "Let's go get food, Sancho."

We fell in line.

"What do you think about those two?" I asked, throwing a look at the two in denials.

"Di ko rin alam."

"They look good together," I said.

"May girlfriend pa."

"Aren't they done yet?" I asked, groaning because their relationship was physically painful for me!

Sancho shrugged. "I try not to actively think about her."

"God, I hope I can do that, too."

* * *

Before law school, I used to think that days roll by quickly. But after law school, even the seconds feel like eternity—especially when I was standing up and reciting. It was like I could feel my entire body shutting down one organ at a time whenever my professor would ask me 'what crime was committed, if any.'

"If karma is real, well, this is my karma," I said as I was rushing to write my digests.

Assia looked at me. "Last, last month pa sa atin binigay 'yan..."

"I know but—"

"Dapat ginagawa mo kahit lima kada araw."

"I know but—" I said but stopped halfway upon realizing that half my problems were courtesy by my awesome self. Assia kept on reminding me about the digests and I kept on telling her that I was already on it, but I was on someone else.

What? Law school was unbelievably stressful! I needed to relieve stress! And I was even more stressed because I didn't have my wingman anymore! Sancho was already past his prime... he's chosen early retirement. And Vito's, well... whipped—to put it lightly.

"Assia."

She looked at me.

"What do you think about strawberry shortcake?" I asked, staring at her. She pressed her lips like she was seriously thinking about it. I leaned over. "I'll top it up with strawberry milk. Have you tried that, Assia?"

To be honest, I felt like a devil corrupting an angel at this very moment.

We were staring at each other. I really needed her to save me! I was drowning here!

"Ouch!" I said when Vito hit my head with a bunch of yellow papers.

"Stop trying to get her to write your digests," Vito said as he and Sancho sat on the opposite bench.

"It was a negotiation," I said.

"Negotiation your ass."

"I was offering payment in exchange of her service."

Sancho made face like he's grossed out. I blinked. Okay—that sounded dirty. And Assia's like the last person that I'll fantasize over! She's like... holy and pure. I'd feel like I'd be having bonfire for my soul if I ever think of her that way.

Thankfully, we got a free cut that time. They wanted to go to the red bee and as much as I wanted to, I needed to finish writing the digests. I just wanted to get over them already because I hated thinking about them. They sometimes even follow me in my sleep! Ridiculous!

"What?" I asked without lifting my head because I was pretty sure that it was Lui sitting in front of me. He just have this signature scent—I tried to ask him what his cologne was, but the asshole was selfish.

"Birthday's next month."

"I know."

"Party?"

"Thinking about it."

"What? Law school changed you?"

"I don't have the time to arrange," I said. "If you'll arrange one for me, sure why not?"

I looked at him and frowned. He's sipping his iced coffee.

"Why aren't you busy?" I asked because I hated how I was the only one stressed! Vito, Sancho, and Assia were busy, but not like me! Even Yago has the time to go on dates!

"I am busy," he replied.

"Then why are you in my face?"

He annoyingly sipped his coffee. "Bawal magpahinga?"

I rolled my eyes. "Go away."

He laughed. "But I'll throw you a party, okay?"

"Sure, sure."

"Your bar?"

"Sure."

"Hotel for afterparty?

"Whatever makes you happy, Lui."

"Do you mind giving me your credit card?"

I looked at him. "Are you my girlfriend? No? Fuck off," I said before he laughed and walked away.

Lui's so fun to be with... but also, I'm trying to change here!

I knew I wasn't the smartest person, but I was trying. I hated being called stupid or not smart enough. I mean, can't you see that I was trying? Give me a fucking break.

I stayed in the coffee shop until closing time. I wanted to go to some bar (not in my bar because I believe in separating pleasure from business) but I was honestly too tired from all the writing that I did. Instead, I headed straight back to the hotel and slept.

The next few days happened as scheduled. I was going to school with my friends and trying my damnest to stay sane amidst everything that was happening.

"The fucking sorcery was that!" I said after exam. I felt like vomiting! What in fresh hell was that?! I was sure that I studied but for minutes, I stared at the test paper like there were hieroglyphics there!

Assia just gave me a consoling smile. "May finals pa..."

"I think I failed."

"Ako rin."

"You're kidding."

"Mahirap talaga iyong exam."

I looked at Vito and Sancho for affirmation, but the two assholes just shrugged. They're really the bane of my fucking existence.

"Adios, amigos," I said before I headed to my Jeep.

The next few days, I studied like I never studied before. I woke up early to go to the library. I didn't know... the fact that everyone around me was studying was enough to shame and bully me into studying, as well.

Plus the intensity.

I couldn't explain it...

Man, law students are intense!

I didn't know whether to be amused or scared that the exam of Prosec in Crim I was enough to terrorize me into being a model student, but I was glad it did happen. It woke me to the fact that here in law school, my pretty smile wouldn't get me anywhere. I was quite certain that Prosec would fail me if I didn't get my shit straightened up.

"I think I'm gonna cry," I said when we finished our last exam for the midterms.

We were walking on the hallway. It was loud. Everyone was planning about where they'd go. Half the class would go about drinking. I invited some of them to the party—Lui better make sure that the party was good... but whatever. As long as there's free booze, I didn't think they'd mind.

"You sure you don't want to go?" I asked Assia.

"May trabaho pa ako, e..."

I nodded. "Okay," I said. I wanted her there because she's my friend, but at the same time, I really didn't think she'd enjoy... it just wasn't her scene. And I didn't want to force her to do things she wouldn't enjoy. She'd feel weird and I'd be too worried if I was making her feel weird.

We headed to the party and true enough, it was a fun party! A lot of guy from Lui's frat was there. I consider myself as a de facto member of the frat, but whatever. I really didn't need the connection. I was just with them because they're fun to party with, but that's the extent. I didn't agree with a lot of shits they do. I just didn't want them as my friends.

"Stop pouting, it's my birthday!" I said as I shoved a drink in Vito's hand. "Drink," I continued.

"I don't like drinking anymore," he replied.

"Dude, you're bad for business," I said. "We're literally bar owners."

"Do you think drug pushers use drugs? Why am I required to drink?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "God, where's Assia? I can't handle weepy Vito right now. It's my birthday and exam's over! I should damn well celebrate," I said as I left him and continued to roam around and hang with other people.

I went to Lui and I listened to how Samu was trying to convince him that it was a bad idea, but Lui just said that he was a registered nurse. Okay... what?

"This is stupid," Samu said.

"Fun, you mean," Lui replied.

"Paano kapag may na-alcohol poisoning?"

"Nearest hospital's 20 minutes away," the genius replied. "I checked."

Samu shook his head in disappointment, but it was him versus all the other drunk guys.

"So... who's joining?"

"What's the prize?"

Lui looked at me. I took a shot and downed it. What the hell! I was feeling good! Exams were finally over and it's my fucking birthday!

"Fine," I said. "Hundred grand?"

Okay. That caught their attention. I mean, they're rich, but a hundred grand's still a hundred grand.

"Dude, what the hell," I said, laughing as I saw how Arch was already close to finishing the line of shots. "Didn't know he could drink like that."

"It's weird to think how these people are the future leaders of the country."

"So weird," I said because I was pretty sure that in this room were the future higher court justices, the heads of the different departments... and heck, maybe even the president of the Philippines.

"And we watch them downing shots like there's no tomorrow."

"Well, it's your idea."

"I know," Lui said rather proudly.

"So... you're really a nurse?" I asked, really shocked, to be honest.

He laughed. "Yes."

"...but how?"

"I went to school? And finished nursing?"

I nodded. "Yes, but... weird."

He just laughed and shrugged. "Hey, I looked good in white."

We were having fun when of course, the devil spawn arrived even though I was very clear to her that she was not invited to this party and to any other future parties that I would throw.

I just disliked her at first, but when she started telling Vito that he couldn't hang out with me—me?!—that was when I started to have vindictive feelings for the devil.

First of all, I know you're the girlfriend, but before you met him, I was already there. I was still his friend, so maybe she could let him hang with me at least once a week.

God, she's an incubus! I didn't care how hot the sex was—I'd stay celibate if it means having sex with Trinity Villamontes!

Or maybe I would... just out of curiosity. But I'd definitely flip her over so I didn't have to see her maddening face.

I had to apologize to Assia and Vito for what happened... and made a mental note to fire those security who just stood there and did nothing. What the hell was I paying them for? It's not like I wanted them to shoot Trini—just shoo her away.

"There you are," Lui said.

"What?" I asked, looking around to make sure that the devil was nowhere in sight. Lui just looked at me seriously, not saying anything. My forehead was creased, but he just dragged me with him towards the exit. "Where are we going?"

"Basta," he replied.

"Wow, so informative," I said, but I paused when I saw Yago standing in the driver's seat of the car. "What's happening?"

Instead of answering me, he just unlocked the door.

No one was answering any of my question and to be honest, I was already drained from everything that happened today, so I just chose the easier road and shut up.

But since no one was talking to me, I fell asleep.

"Niko," Yago said, waking me from my much-needed nap.

I yawned. "Where's Lui?"

"Let's go," he replied... so responsive.

Since Yago was being purposely evasive, I just quietly followed him. I didn't know why the heck he brought me back to the hotel, but whatever—might as well get a good night sleep. I was tired from everything! That exam was exhausting! I mean, I thought I did good back in college—I was able to graduate without any financial help from my family... but I might need help in law school. It was so exhausting that sometimes, I dream about failing my classes—especially that damned Criminal Law.

"Are you telling me to go to sleep?" I asked Yago as we stood outside my hotel room.

"You'll see," he said.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine," I replied as I yawned.

"Are you seriously sleepy?"

"Duh," I said. "I just finished my midterms and I'm seriously ready to sleep," I continued as I stretched the muscles in my neck. I was almost tempted to open the door, but when I placed my hand on the knob to turn it open, Yago yanked my hand away. "Okay, seriously, what is up?"

"Okay, okay," he said. "Remember what you said before about strippers on your birthday?"

"Vaguely..." I replied because seriously, I say all sorts of things but I never actually do them—I just like thinking about things. I think about sleeping with hookers, having stripper come out of a big box, doing too much drugs and waking up in another country—shit like these. But I never actually do them—they're just fun to think about.

"What vaguely? Sinabi mo sa 'min! You practically begged!"

"Was I drunk when I begged?"

"Yes."

"Precisely," I replied.

Yago groaned. "Nagbago ka na talaga," he said before I opened the door to my room to look for Lui and to tell him that I wanted to just have my good night sleep, but I immediately halted when I saw a woman standing in the middle of my room. My forehead creased. Okay—if I wanted a stripper for my birthday, she definitely was not the one I had in mind.

"Sorry," I said to the woman I saw inside the room. She was wearing a pants and a shirt—a little too baggy that I didn't even see if she had big boobs. I also doubted if she's the hotel maid because I know who cleans my room. I didn't like just anyone going inside my room. "Is this a prank?" I asked before I went inside the room and looked for Lui.

"Excuse me?" the woman said, sounding defensive.

"Where's my friend?" I asked, instead. I looked for Lui around the room, but he was nowhere in sight. And then I saw my bed. God, I was tired. I removed my shoes and laid on my bed. Fuck. Finally.

"Miss," I said, wanting to tell her to just go away because I really needed to sleep after everything that I went through. What exam? That was mental torture and my professors knew it! Those sadistic bastards.

"Ano?!"

"Are you mad?" I asked because her voice sounded mad. If any, I should be the one who's mad! I was promised a stripper, but instead, I got—

Okay, really, what was going on here? How could she think she'd get business while looking like... that.

"I know my friend paid you for... whatever that is," I said, sitting down and then pointing at her. Maybe she looked nice beneath those clothes? But in her line of business, surely she knew that how she dresses matters. "But I can't deal with—" I said, and then paused. "Seriously. Did Lui tell you to dress like that?" I honestly asked.

But instead of answering my honest question, she began to quickly strip off her clothes. I felt my mouth drying at the sight of her.

Okay.

I definitely understood why they picked her.

I mean, wow.

Why was she hiding that body?!

"May sinasabi ka ba?" she cockily asked. I wanted to look at her face, but my eyes wouldn't leave her body. Okay, seriously what the hell. I need to touch those boobs. For Science.

But I didn't want to look like a perv, so I tried to clear my throat and to re-adjust my gaze at her face. "Okay..." I said, smiling at her. Focus, Nikolai. Look at her face. "I see why they chose you."

* * *

"Good morning," Lui greeted.

"What's with the fucking grin?" I asked as he took the seat adjacent to mine. I was supposed to meet Sancho and Vito, but they bailed out the last minute. Didn't care, though. I still went to the country club because I needed the silence.

"How was the birthday?"

My forehead creased as I sipped my orange juice. "Oh, that," I said upon realization. "It was good," I replied even though nothing happened. I just didn't want to get her in trouble if Lui knew that nothing happened.

I was tired.

And I was drunk.

So, definitely no sex for me.

Thankfully, Lui wasn't creepy enough to force me to share details about what happened that night, so we just played golf before I headed home.

The classes began again, only this time, Vito's in a perpetual sour mood because Assia's got herself a job and was basically always with Mauro. I never noticed Mauro until Assia began hanging out with him—and until Vito began to kill him with his stares.

"You're not the boyfriend, so act accordingly," I told Vito because his forehead was in a perpetual crease.

"I know that," he replied like a kid whose lollipop was stolen in the park.

"And Assia said they're just workmates or something."

"I know."

"Then, why act like a baby?" I teased, but Vito just glared at me that made me laugh before shutting up and resuming to write my never-ending list of case digests.

Sometimes, if not for the fact that I needed to know what subject I needed to study for the day, I would lose track of the date. We would just study every fucking day and even the breaks felt like they're only days! The only consolation I got was me going to Japan every sem-break. That's it. I was mostly overworked!

"Why don't you get yourself a girlfriend so that you'll stop obsessing with Vito and Assia?" Sancho asked.

"Rich coming from you."

He rolled his eyes. "That's a choice."

"To stare from afar? Got it."

"Just get a girlfriend," he said.

"I'm not looking for a girlfriend," I replied. Although I was not opposed to the idea of having a girlfriend, I was also not actively looking for one. I believe that she'll come into my life when the time's right—besides, I was still enjoying my life. I study hard and I find someone to hook up with when I feel horny. Honestly, can't complain.

I felt like I would be needing a neck brace because I kept on looking at my side. I didn't want to look at Assia! It should be illegal for her to wear something like that! She's so... sexy. And I felt like my soul was burning in hell for even trying to associate that word with her.

But she is!

The white pants and the black turtleneck fitted her body like second skin. I felt like I was sinning just by looking at her. It was such a nagging feeling! Her face was so angelic yet that body—

Okay, calm down.

I took a deep breath and reminded myself that we're here to conduct an interview and nothing else.

We arrived at the MARINA first and then proceeded to the City Hall. But we weren't allowed in because we didn't plan this enough and we didn't have an appointment.

"He's creepy," I said as we watched Villamontes talk to Assia. I looked at Vito for confirmation, but he was just watching them... but if looks could kill, Villamontes would, without a doubt, be on the ground.

"Does it really run in the blood?" I asked again as I watched how he was looking at Assia. There's something... wrong there. I wanted to ask Vito once more, but he looked like he was in no mood to discuss it, so I just dropped it.

The next few days, it was time for fucking exam again. Seriously—if I were to make a summary of my days lately, I'd probably bore anyone to death because I was just reviewing and reviewing and more fucking reviewing.

"Holy fuck, that exam was wild!" I said after the exam was done. It was starting to feel like routine—me telling my friends how hard the exam was and them being assholes as usual and telling me that it was easy. I'd believe them if I didn't see them looking equally lost when the exams were first distributed. "Was it hard... or it's just because I didn't study enough?"

After that, we proceeded to another room because of our ADR exam. The exam was... answerable. And that just weirded me the fuck out.

God, I was really sleep deprived.

"Where's Vito?" I asked after we finally finished all the exams. Third year's fucking insane! I thought the first two years were already hell on earth, but joke's on me.

Sancho shrugged. "I don't know. May kausap kanina."

I was already famished, but Vito's still nowhere in sight. Assia would sometimes ask clarificatory questions about the exams, but I seriously didn't want to hear any of it. It's like I was having war flashbacks. And it's not like I could do anything. But still. I knew I needed to know the correct answer because in law school, you have to know everything.

My mind's already bruised and battered.

"Dinner first?" Vito asked when he finally showed himself. Apparently, we were going to some party. I really had no idea what's happening lately. My main focus was to get through each fucking day.

"Dun na lang. May pagkain naman yata."

"Dude, let me eat first! I'm sure Sob won't dis—" I said, but like a magic word, Sancho covered my mouth with his hands. This pagong! "Get your filthy hands off of my mouth!"

"God, your mouth!" he said, sounding pissed.

"What? Not my fault that you act like a goddamn kid around Sob," I said as we were walking towards the parking lot. "Use your magical dick—" I said, but he looked at me that made me stop speaking. "Fine," I said. "Suit yourself."

"Thank you," he sarcastically replied.

"But seriously, what the fuck's happening to us?" I asked when Assia was out of earshot. "Vito has perpetually put himself in the friendzone—not that Assia owes him anything. And you suddenly turned into a creep who stares at Sob from afar. What happened to our game?"

"You talk like you have a love life."

"Active sex life, you mean," I replied.

"Good for you," Sancho said.

"I know," I said. "I don't know how the fuck I'd survive without that," I continued as I told Sancho about some of my escapades, but I didn't mention names because privacy. I just needed to remind my good friend that there's more to life than pining after a woman who he couldn't even fucking talk to.

My stomach was already in protest upon arriving at the restaurant. I was looking forward to getting the menu. "Wait..." I said when a woman who had her forehead creased handed me my menu—well, more like she almost hit my face with it. Rude. "You look familiar."

She just rolled her eyes at me—again, rude. "Please call me when you're ready to order," she said and then quickly walked away.

"Am I crazy or was she rude to me?" I asked, but only Assia nodded. "Weird..." I muttered. "She looks awfully familiar," I continued as I tried to look for her, but she was already gone from my sight.

"Let's leave by 11," I immediately said when we arrived at the place where the 'party' was being held. Whatever. I was tired. Sleep sounded better at this point.

God. Was this a sign of aging?!

"Yeah," Vito agreed. "I'm tired. I wanna go home."

"Sancho, is 11 okay? 2 hours enough?" I asked as I caught Sancho looking around, obviously looking for Isobel. I was so sleepy, but I couldn't not tease him! He's being such a fucking child about it.

We went to our bloc's table. I just wanted to finish my beer in peace and hopefully, go home before 12, but Anne, bless her soul, sat beside me. She was obviously flirting with me, and if we weren't classmates, I would have definitely considered it... but nah. We're in the same class. The subjects were already stressing me out, so the last thing I needed was to complicate my personal life.

I mean, if she looked like she's willing to just hook up, I'd definitely think about it... but she's looking at me like she wanted me to father her child—so hell fucking no.

After a while, I excused myself because I was starting to get uncomfortable and I didn't want to be rude to Anne. She's in my bloc, after all. So I just stood up and went with Assia when she stood up. I went to the bar to get another beer. God, I wanted to sleep!

"Not even considering working here in Manila?" I asked after Assia told me her plans after graduating. We're already in our 3rd year and hopefully, just one more year and we're done. Sometimes, it's so... amazing. It felt like only yesterday when Sancho scammed us into enrolling in Brent and now, we're already one step away from finishing law school.

Life's weird.

She just shook her head like it was already a done deal and she's set on going back to her province after graduation. "Tapos ka na ba? Hanapin na natin si Vito."

"So... really no plans of staying here?" I asked for my friend. "Your plan is already set in stone?"

She nodded. "Ayun si Vito—" She immediately stopped when she saw that Vito wasn't alone and she's with someone. I already asked Vito before about Shanelle and he was very clear that she's just a friend... but I didn't know. Life's fucking weird and I really didn't understand anything anymore.

"Looks like someone's confessing."

"Tara na," Assia said, sounding upset. I looked at her and there was a hint of betrayal on her eyes. They're entertaining to watch when they're not frustrating like this. I understand that Vito wanted to respect Assia's wishes and Assia's desire to go home after law school. I understand where they're coming from and that made it even more frustrating.

"Assia," I called. She looked at me—her eyes mirroring the hurt that she was probably feeling. "If your plan's already set in stone... you'll have no problem if Vito—" I said, but my attention was diverted when Shanelle walked away. And I knew what happened because it wasn't first time I witnessed something like this. I looked at Assia and she didn't know what just happened.

"Tara na," she said.

"You'll be okay if he dates, right?"

"Bakit mo ba tinatanong 'yan?"

"Just curious," I said "You already have everything planned out... And that one's delaying everything for something that might never happen." I shrugged. "So, I don't know. I just wanna make sure everything's crystal clear, and there'd be no misunderstanding or miscommunication whatsoever."

She smiled at me, but who was she kidding? "Nandito lang ako sa Maynila para mag-aral, Niko. Nasa Isabela ang buhay ko. Nandun ang pamilya ko."

* * *

The next few weeks had been literally fucking weird that I was already living in denial because my mind couldn't cope. Assia and Vito were fighting—albeit silent war, but it felt worse.

"Para kang tanga," Sancho said when I didn't greet Assia on her birthday. I remained silent. I just... hated how she asked to be transferred sections. I understood that she didn't want anything to do with Vito, but I was her friend.

I felt like I was being ditched all over again.

Fucking hated it.

I'd rather kill myself over studying than think of this.

And I hated how it's true that when it rains, it fucking pours.

I was in the house, the main house, when I first saw Papa leaving. As usual, his shadow's with him. And then a few seconds later, Mom was following him.

"For fuck's sake," I said as I tried to continue reading for my review class, but my mind wouldn't let me rest. I threw my book on the sofa and walked towards my car. I was following my Mom, but I got caught in a line of traffic. My eyes followed where the car was headed and it seemed like they're going to the hotel.

I drew deep breaths while I was stuck in traffic. I read enough cases of road rage and I didn't want to get one. It's honestly stupid how one fucking incident could land you in jail—which could honestly been avoided had you had the patience to fucking sit in silence while stuck in traffic.

After what felt like forever, I finally reached the hotel. I didn't want to fucking park and I was about to get to the valet entrance when suddenly, a woman appeared out of fucking nowhere.

What the fuck's wrong with this year! It's not just a bad day—it's already a bad fucking year!

"Miss, are you okay?" I asked after I fucking calmed myself down. Fucking god! I was just thinking about road rage—I wasn't aware that I was about to commit a fucking felony!

"Mukha ba akong okay?!" she shouted at me. My eyes widened in shock.

"Let me help you—"

"Wag mo kong hawakan!" she shouted again. She was shouting—that's a good sign... right? "Ihanap mo ako ng doctor!"

"Let's get you to the hospital," I said, but she glared at me. "Let me help you—"

"Wag mo nga akong galawin."

"Do I drive you to the hospital while you're on my windshield?" I asked, honestly baffled and confused. I didn't want to cause any more harm, but what could I do? She didn't want me helping! And she looked so weird sprawled like that on my windshield!

"Maghanap ka ng doctor sa loob ng hotel," she said calmly, but still sounded real pissed.

"Okay..." I said, walking towards the hotel, confused.

I got in the hotel but even before I could do what she asked of me, I got into my senses and call for an ambulance. She was saying something about not moving her and Grey's Anatomy—whatever that was. I was just thankful that she got in the ambulance. I really thought she planned on living on the windshield.

"Thanks," I said after I called the hotel attendant to make sure that no photo of this would be released online. I saw some taking photos of the woman and I just didn't want to cause her further embarrassment—she looked really weird when she was sprawled on my windshield.

"Can I call anyone?" I asked after the doctor assured us that she's fine aside from initial shock from me almost hitting her. It's a miracle how she got from the ground to my windshield, and she didn't have any injury! She's lucky.

She shook her head. "Sige na, umalis ka na."

"Are you sure I can't call anyone?"

"Wala nga," she said dismissively. I looked at her, debating if I should leave her as she told me, but I ended up sitting on the sofa inside her room. I just couldn't leave her like this—or maybe I was using her as a delaying method because truth be told, I was in no mood to study. I'd do anything to avoid studying. I was burned out.

My phone vibrated. I saw my Mom calling me. I sighed before I answered. "Sorry, can't come," I said when she asked me when I would be coming home. "Have to do something," I added before I ended the call. I just didn't want to see her right now—every time I'd see her, I'd remember how pissed I was that she's letting herself be trapped in a loveless marriage.

My mom's a catch—she could have anyone... problem was, she didn't want just anyone else—she wanted my dad.

Sometimes, I felt weird because I might be the only person who prays for his parents to actually separate. Seeing them together stresses me out.

"Nasa ospital naman ako. Kung mamamatay ako—"

"Oh, my god. Can you please stop talking about dying?"

"Arte mo, ha."

"You're not dying."

"Di mo—"

"The doctor said that you're fine—you don't even have a scratch on your body."

Her eyes immediately widened like she's in shock. My forehead creased because of the expression on her face. And then after shock, she pulled the sheets down her legs and pulled the hospital gown up. My eyes widened at what she did because fuck! Why was she wearing lace panty! That's unfair!

"For god's sake!" I exclaimed as she unashamedly checked her legs. God, this woman has no shame!

"Arte mo, ha," she said while she was still checking her legs. I willed myself not to look at her, but damn... I caught a glance. Fuck those legs.

'No, Nikolai. Stop looking. She's in a hospital bed, for fuck's sake!'

"Pwede ka ng umuwi. Matutulog lang naman ako."

"No, I'll stay."

"Wag na."

"I insist."

"Di kita boyfriend," she said, her eyebrow slightly raised. I was tempted to walk towards her and pull the sheets back up because my freaking eyes would not stop trying to wander back to her legs.

"Then call your boyfriend and I'll leave," I said because I had this... instinct. This woman has no boyfriend—because if she does have a boyfriend, he'd be crazy enough not to be here right now. "No boyfriend, huh?" I asked, but I was already a hundred percent sure that she's got none.

If I were her boyfriend—

Yeah, where the fuck did that come from?

She rolled her eyes. "Alam mo, injured ako tapos nilalandi mo ako. Literal na vulnerable ako."

My lips parted.

Okay.

She's something.

"Sige na, umalis ka na," she said, motioning me to go away, but all I did was to press my lips together because she's damn entertaining. One second, she's flirting with me and implying that she'd join me in my bed and the next second, she's throwing me out of the room that I paid for.

I was never a fan of women telling me one thing and actually doing the opposite—I think it's highly toxic. If you want me, tell me. If you don't want me, then fine. I'll be on my fucking way. Just don't say one thing and mean the opposite. That shit's making my head ache.

But this woman?

Yes, please.

* * *

"What?" I asked when I caught Sancho looking at me weirdly.

"What?" he replied back.

"You were staring."

"You look weird."

"I—" I said but paused. That weird girl looked so fucking familiar! But I couldn't place where I saw her before. I knew I needed to study because graduating and all that shit, but I couldn't get her off of my mind.

"I have a question."

"I hate your questions."

"It's not about your dick, I promise," I said and he just rolled his eyes at me. "How... do you stop yourself from doing anything?" I asked and his forehead creased. "I mean with Sob," I said.

"Why?"

"Humor me."

"I don't know—she's been very clear."

"Yes but—"

"She doesn't owe me anything."

"So... that's it?"

"It's not that complicated—she doesn't want it, so I won't force it," he said. "Why are you asking me this?"

I just shrugged. I was graduating. Having a relationship should be the last thing on my priority list, I knew that... but I couldn't stop thinking about this woman and even in my dreams, she's fucking flirting with me.

"Can we switch places?" I asked when I noticed a plant on the side of the library.

"You're weird today."

"Please?" I asked Sancho because I couldn't concentrate on studying while seeing that fucking plant. I kept on remembering the woman and I hated it. She's invading my mind and we only met! This was unacceptable!

Thankfully, Sancho switched places with me. I forced myself to continue studying because

But in the middle of studying, my phone vibrated.

'May laptop ka ba?'

Seriously... this woman asks the most random questions.

'Yes?'

'Ano? Di ka na naman sure?'

'I meant yes, I do have a laptop. But also, weird that you're asking.'

'Gawa mo naman akong resume.'

'You ask the weirdest favors.'

'Sige na.'

'I don't know how to make a resume.'

'Pahiram na lang ng laptop.'

'I'm studying.'

'Sinagasaan mo ako.'

'Brought you to the hospital, if I remember it correctly.'

'Plant.'

And I'd be damned if I wasn't already on my fucking way.

* * *

I was certain I violated at least three traffic violations just so I could go here in record time. Fuck. I sounded so... desperate. Must be something in the fucking air because even thinking about that woman was enough to make me go insane.

What sorcery was this?

I took a deep breath as I arrived in front of her condo. Okay—that's my cardio for the day, then. I ran like I was running for my life.

But then again... that won't be my only cardio tonight.

"Let's—" I said when she finally opened the door. It should be illegal to be this excited.

"Saan laptop?" she asked.

"What?" I asked back, my forehead creased. Why the fuck was she asking for my laptop?

"Iyong laptop. Gagawa akong resume."

I blinked. "Are you serious?"

She nodded. "Laptop?"

"I was studying!" I said. I was literally studying and dropped everything just to be here—not to mention me driving like I was starring in the fucking Fast and Furious just to be here as soon as I could possibly can! I thought I even dented my Jeep when I was parking because I just wanted to be here as quickly as humanly possible.

"Sus, madali lang naman 'yan!"

I... couldn't with this woman. I drew a deep breath and brushed my hair through my fingers. "I literally have CrimRev tomorrow and I'm not even half-way done with the coverage!"

"E kung busy ka, bakit pumunta ka rito?"

"Because you texted the word!"

That fucking word. I felt like Jersey's trying to condition me. I wouldn't be surprised if one day, even seeing a fucking plant would turn me on. I would be banned from public places.

"So... busy ka pero may time ka sa sex?"

I blinked.

God.

Being this aroused should be a sin.

I felt like she was killing me just by standing before me and looking like that. She sounded so good. And I wanted to run my hand against her skin. When I first touched her, I felt like combusting. She's hot and she knew it and she's using it to make me go crazy. I wanted to bridge the distance between us and just have my way with her, but I knew that I shouldn't. I would never touch this woman without her consent. That's just not who I am. I refuse to be a rapist.

"You are..." I paused and took a deep breath. Calm down, Nikolai. Calm down. "You are insane."

She was.

* * *

"You're weird," Sancho said.

"You're weird," I quickly replied. His forehead creased. I rolled my eyes at him. I tried to focus on studying, but I was so distracted. I knew Jersey didn't owe me anything, but damn! She frustrated me so fucking much.

"I need your self-control, Sancho," I told him.

"What?"

"There's this girl," I began.

"Okay."

"I want her."

"So... sleep with her?"

"She doesn't want to."

"Then don't? I'm sure there are lots of willing women out there."

"I know, but I want her."

"But... she doesn't want you? Unless you wanna commit rape?"

"What? Of course not!" I said, annoyed that he'd even suggest that I was considering that. "It's just that we're graduating and I need to focus on my studies, but she keeps on invading my mind. It's seriously disrespectful at this point."

"Who is she?"

"No one," I quickly replied. Sancho just looked at me weirdly. I didn't want to introduce her to him—I saw how annoyed Yago was when he introduced Rory to Sancho. Rory looked at him like he was some... god. So annoying when I was standing right beside him.

Seriously... Sancho and girls. They're just weirdly attracted to him for some fucking reason.

"Mag-aral ka na lang," he said.

"Duh," I replied as I buried my face in the books again—although I'd seriously rather bury my face elsewhere.

The days passed by without me noticing them. It's like the days were just blurry at this point. I would just focus on studying the subject for the day, would attend class, would go home, sleep, and then repeat again.

I wanted to graduate already.

So fucking tired.

"Party?" Lui asked.

"Nah. Pass," I said, really wanting to just go home... but then I remembered Sancho telling me that I should go out more to forget about that damned woman. "Yeah, sure," I said, changing my mind.

I arrived at the venue a bit late because I had to drag myself here. I greeted some of the people there and ignored the others. And then I just stayed on one side and drank with Lui and Samu.

We were quietly drinking when suddenly, there was a commotion. I looked at Lui who just shrugged while he sipped his beer. And then I shifted my eyes to the woman in the—

"What... the fuck," I uttered as I recognized her face—that face that haunted me in my sleep.

My eyes widened as I watched her slowly unzip the zipper of the jacket she was wearing. My body felt like it had a mind of its own as I quickly bridged the distance between us and just pulled her away with me. I heard them all calling my name and asking me to return her because they 'paid for her.' Honestly, fuck these people.

"Hoy! Bitiwan mo nga ako!" she said as she was trying to remove my hold on her. "Nagta-trabaho iyong tao, e!"

"You call that work?" I asked, fucking annoyed because she really was about to strip for money! And I knew those guys! I knew what they're capable of!

She stood up. She looked directly into my eyes. "Oo. Trabaho. Ano naman? Sumasayaw lang naman ako. Ano'ng masama 'don?"

My lips parted.

"Jersey—"

I stopped.

I took a deep breath.

I felt like we were headed to a miscommunication, so I needed to step back and to re-think what I was about to say.

"How much did they pay you? I'll give you the money and just... just go home," I said, trying my fucking hardest to calm down because it's hard to listen when everyone's shouting.

Her lips parted.

She looked offended.

Fuck.

I stopped again to rethink my words, but I didn't have time because Jersey was so mad... understandably at that.

"Hindi ako pulubing manghihingi ng pera mo, okay? Trabaho ko 'to."

I drew a deep breath. I ran my fingers through my hair. I needed to fucking calm down. "When you borrowed my laptop for your resume, that was for this?"

She rolled her eyes. "Feeling mo kailangan ng resume kapag magsasayaw ka sa mga birthday ng lalaki?" she asked. I knew she was being sarcastic, but I didn't want to assume anymore! I felt like I already got myself in enough trouble as it was.

"I don't know. That's why I'm asking," I calmly said. God, I was in no mood to fight. I just... I just knew who those guys were and I got worried for a second that I wasn't able to think and all I knew was that I needed to get her out of there and far away from them.

"Hindi—" she said, but she paused when we both saw Zach getting out of the room. He was looking at us. Great.

"Hey... do we have a problem here?" Zach asked.

"Yeah, Zach. She's not going back. Find other ways to entertain yourselves," I said.

"Dude, we paid for her—"

"Shut it and just go," I said, cutting him off.

"Fucking prick," he uttered—loud enough to be heard by me. I knew I wasn't his favorite person. Heck, he's always telling the other members of the frat as to why I was always there when I wasn't even a member.

What could I say? Money really will get you to places—sucks for him.

"Trabaho ko 'yun." I looked at Jersey when she suddenly spoke. She still looked mad and disappointed—I didn't know which was worse.

"Did you hear how he talked about you?"

"Oo."

"And you're okay with that?"

"Ano namang paki ko sa sasabihin nila? 'Di naman nila ako kilala. Kung dadamdamin ko lahat ng sasabihin sa 'kin ng mga tao tungkol sa ginagawa ko para mabuhay, e 'di sana nagpakamatay na lang ako."

My lips parted. "Jersey—"

She shook her head like she was saying that she wouldn't let me get another word and that she was done taking shit from me. "Alam mo, Nikolai, 'wag mo akong simulan kung sesermunan mo lang ako tungkol sa trabaho ko, ha? Kasi unang-una, nandoon ka rin sa loob kanina. Ibig sabihin kasama ka sa mga lalaking nagbayad para sa trabaho ko. Kaya ka lang naman nandito dahil kilala mo ako. Pero kung ibang babae? Malamang wala ka namang pakielam. So... tumigil ka. 'Di mo ako kailangang iligtas."

I couldn't say any word.

Because she was right—I was there. I was part of the party. I knew there would be some girls involved. I knew that they were paid to do that. I didn't care. I only cared because it's her—because I knew her personally. If I didn't, I would not care. At all.

I was a hypocrite through and through.

Fuck.

"Masaya ka na? Pinaalis na ako," Jersey said when she came back. She was glaring at me. She looked like she wanted to kick me and scream at me. I couldn't say a word because I was still processing what a hypocrite I was.

I always told myself that I was better than those guys—that at the very least, I never forced anyone against their will. But I was doing the bare minimum. And I really didn't care about any of their shits because I was living in my own bubble and I was okay with that.

Not until Jersey popped that fucking bubble.

Oh, dear fucking hell... The ignorance was a fucking bliss until it's not.

I looked at her. She looked like she could handle herself, but what did I know? Maybe she's just good at hiding whatever she was probably hiding.

"Do you like what you do?" I asked.

"Ano?"

"I apologize for how I acted. You're right—double standards. But... do you actually like what you do? Because if you do, I'll leave you alone and I'll even walk you back in and you can strip in front of me and my friends."

I hoped she would believe me.

I was really sorry.

I... never saw that from her perspective. I would admit that I was raised in a very different environment, and growing up, all I cared about was myself and my friends. I didn't care about strangers—I didn't care about their plight. As long as I knew I wasn't doing anything wrong, I was good with that.

When was the exact day that I became such an entitled prick?

"Because if you really like stripping for money, what the fuck do I care? It's not as if I've never done questionable things. But our difference is—I always have the choice to do or not to do... but do you have a choice, Jersey? Or are you just doing this to survive? Because if it's the latter, please let me fucking help you."

She looked at me, her forehead creased. "Hindi ako nagpapa-awa."

"I know."

"Di ko kailangan ng tulong."

"I know—that's why it's me who's begging you to let me help."

"Bakit ba masyado kang affected?"

"No idea. But if you need work or whatever, I'm sure I can help."

"Ano'ng trabaho naman 'yan?"

"What do you want? I can find whatever works best for you."

"Pag-iisipan ko," she replied. "Pero nasa loob pa iyong gamit ko. Kunin mo naman."

I got inside the suite. The guys were drinking and I immediately saw Zach looking at me and murmured something.

"What?" I asked, pissed at him because I suddenly remembered how he talked about how he would 'rail' the girl from tonight. I didn't care earlier because it was just a girl—a girl I didn't know.

What the fuck was with this night?! It's like I was being slapped left and right with realizations as to how entitled, privileged, and out of touch with reality I was! God, I needed a fucking drink!

"You wanna say something?" I asked Zach. He was about to say something, but Lui quickly tapped his shoulder as if to stop him. Good. Because I really was in no mood to tolerate him.

After I grabbed Jersey's things, Lui went near me.

"Is... there any problem?" he asked.

"Yes," I quickly replied. I wanted to tell Lui off for participating in this kind of fuckery, but I reminded myself that I was in no position to talk about this shit when just a few minutes ago, I was a part of that fuckery. Instead, I just carried Jersey's things and just went out. Jersey was looking at me when I got out of the suite. I thought she would say something, but she just looked at me and then we headed towards the elevator. And when we were inside the elevator, she was looking at me through the reflection on the door.

"What?" I asked because at this point, she was already staring.

"Wala."

"Falling for me already?"

She rolled her eyes. "Asa ka pa."

Her voice sounded playful. "Don't be shy," I said, desperately trying to lighten the mood. I just didn't want to fight with her. I knew I was wrong. I apologized already, but I also knew that I could not force her to accept my apology. Best I could do was to show her that I meant what I said—because I really did mean it.

"How much did they pay you?" I asked when we were in my car.

"Di ko alam," she replied.

"There's some money in the glove compartment."

"Saan?"

"Here," I said as I grabbed a bundle of money. I usually just use cards, but there still were some places where I couldn't use card like in Jollibee. They seriously should start accepting cards! They're the main reason why I carry around bunch of cash when I really prefer cashless transactions.

"This enough?" I asked because I seriously didn't know how much she was supposed to be paid. I didn't want to ask Lui or the other guys. I've decided to just distance myself from them... at least for now.

I finally understood why Yago chose to hide from us. Admittedly, we weren't the best influence on him. And now, I was seeing it from his perspective, too. Lui's not the best influence on me.

"Please don't take this the wrong way, okay? I just felt bad because you're right—it's work. I was just shocked to see you."

"Paano nga 'yung shock?"

I rolled my eyes. What a sarcastic person, this one. "Know what? Take this all—pretty sure had you danced earlier, you would've gotten more from those assholes," I said and then just gave her the entire bundle. It's just money, anyway, for me. For her, maybe it's something. At least, between the two of us, that money would go to some worthwhile cause or whatever.

"Nikolai," she said.

"What?" I asked while I was still focused on driving.

"Gusto kong ibalik 'tong pera sa 'yo kaya lang parang ayoko rin."

"Keep it."

"Pero gusto kong ibalik."

"Why? You earned it... kinda," I said. I've been on one or two of those parties—had Jersey continued with her work that night, she would've gotten more. Those guys were careless with their money—probably more than me, to be completely fucking honest.

"Kasi parang gusto ko na makipagsex sa 'yo kaya lang binigyan mo ako ng pera. E hindi naman ako pokpok—pero kapag nagsex tayo e kakabigay mo lang ng pera e 'di ibig sabihin nun pokpok ako."

I glanced at her when she first began her sentence. I thought I was having some problems with my hearing because she was talking about how she wanted to have sex with me. But then she continued with her speech, and now I was convinced that I wasn't being delirious!

I immediately pulled over on the side.

"What?"

"Hindi ako pokpok—"

"No one's calling you that," I said because I really hated myself for implying that earlier. God, when would I really learn how to filter my fucking words?

"Iyong mga ka-barangay ko."

"I don't know those people," I said. "And they're obviously wrong. And if they're right—so fucking what? C'est la vie, right?"

She rolled her eyes. "Kanina lang iba sinasabi mo... ano? Biglang change of heart ka?"

I rested my head against the headrest, and closed my eyes. I knew she'd bring this up again. It honestly pissed me off a little about how she wouldn't let go of things, but I reminded myself that from her perspective, this happened just over an hour ago.

Perspective, Nikolai.

Fucking perspective.

The world doesn't revolve around you.

"I already apologized for that. It's not nice if you're gonna keep bringing up things I already apologized for. People are allowed to make mistakes, you know?" I said as calmly as I could. She was silent. I looked at her and she was just looking at me. She's really something, this one. I didn't understand the pull she had on me. It's insane.

"About the sex..." I said, looking directly into her eyes. "If you're gonna work for me, I prefer if we do not have sex because I don't mix business with pleasure."

Her lips parted. She looked disappointed. I fought a chuckle. "Sabi mo walang tanung-tanong!"

I pursed my lips to stop myself from laughing because she did look like a child who has been deprived of a lollipop—I mean she was deprived of a lollipop...

"Yes, I did say that—"

"E 'di tara na!"

I laughed, but stopped. "But if we have sex, you can't work for me. That's my personal rule."

"Seryoso ba 'yan?"

"Yeah. Sex and work do not mix well... at least based on personal experience," I said. There was once a bartender in our bar. She was hot. I was horny. She was willing. She got clingy. Suffice to say, it didn't end well. And both Vito and Sancho lectured me about not mixing my sex life with our business. I agreed—it's just bad for business.

"Kailangan ba sa 'yo mismo ako magtrabaho?" she asked. "Wala ka bang kakilala na may business para doon na lang ako magtrabaho? Para pwede pa rin?"

"You really wanna take this for a ride, huh?" I asked, seriously amused at this conversation. I felt like I already met them all—the quiet ones, the shy ones, the liberated ones, the straightforward ones—but Jersey here's different, for some reason I still couldn't exactly point out at.

"Sige nga, maging honest ka, 'di ka ba curious sa akin?" she asked like she was challenging me. I just grinned and focused my attention back to driving. I saw her looking at my hand while I was steadily gripping the wheels. I began to maneuver the car in a way that I knew would drive her crazy.

"Gymnast ako nung high school," she said.

Fuck.

Gymast.

Oh, the ways I would bend you, Jersey.

"Nice," I said, trying my best to keep calm because I really didn't want to sleep with her if she'll work for me. And I wanted to give her a job... so that she would have a choice. If she wanted to strip for money, then she could do that only if she wanted to. I just wanted to provide her with a choice.

"Ang motto ko ay swallow, don't spit."

"God, you're blunt," I said, unable to remain still because the words that came out of her mouth was making me hot! I reached for the AC and turned it in to lowest possible degree. God, why was it so hot here?!

"Ano? 'Di ka pa rin curious?" she prodded further.

"If we have sex, I can really only give you sex. I'm graduating and I have BAR and I have—"

"Hindi ako naghahanap ng boyfriend," she quickly replied.

"Good because I'm not looking for a girlfriend," I said because that was the truth. I was not looking for a girlfriend—I was busy with school. I did not want a girlfriend because I did not have time for that, and I did not want to be a lousy boyfriend.

"E 'di okay."

"Fine," she said. "So, your place or mine?"

* * *

"What?" I asked when both Sancho and Vito were looking at me.

"Para kang tanga," Sancho said.

I rolled my eyes. "Hater," I said.

I just couldn't get this grin off of my fucking face! I knew sex with Jersey would be great—I just knew it right off the bat because I mean that humor? God tier—but I didn't know that it would be this amazing.

I could still remember how she moved that ass whole I was still inside—

Nope.

If I get a boner while I was with Vito and Sancho, I was sure that I would never hear the fucking end of it.

So while they were studying, I just quietly browsed on my phone. I remembered Jersey's bra, so I placed an order for a bra to be delivered to her place. I was feeling generous, so I got her panties, too.

'Really can't find that fucking bra, so I just got you a new pair. Maybe wear those next time,' I typed on the note part. I stared at it. I decided it sounded so... presumptuous of me that we'd have sex again.

'Best, Nikolai,' I added to be more respectful.

* * *

The next days were filled with studying and more studying. I was silently cursing my professor who asked us to write case digests as if the study load was not already making us crazy.

But I couldn't complain. Complaining just makes me more exhausted. I just quietly did my part. I just studied and studied and wrote digests as a part of my rest.

"If I fail the BAR, I might consider committing an arson against the Supreme Court," I told Sancho while we were writing digests.

He snorted. That was him laughing. I was hilarious, I know.

"Just write," he said.

"Duh, what do you think am I doing? Drawing?" I asked because we've been here in the coffee shop since morning and it's already nighttime. Our orders went from the breakfast menue to rice meals. We wanted to finish this so that we could focus on studying. The digests felt like a weight hanging over our heads. We just wanted them gone.

"What?" I asked when Clark called me. I told him to not call me unless it's a matter of life and death. So far, he's never really called me. I thought running a bar would be complicated, but so far, it's been good... Or maybe because I really was not the one who deals with the 'technical' stuff. I'd like to see myself as the 'ambassador.' I bring all my friends there! I was good for business.

"Si Jersey—"

"What's with her?" I asked and I saw Sancho looking at me. I stood up. I didn't want them to meet. I saw how Rory looked at him. I wasn't saying that I like Jersey, but I had strong feelings against them meeting.

It's a no from me.

"Nandito 'yung Zach ata—"

Fuck.

I quickly grabbed my keys and got out of the coffee shop. The bar was just a few minutes away and I was so close to beating all the red lights so that I could be there as soon as I possibly could. But I didn't want to be apprehended. That would just cause more delay. My fingers were drumming against the steering wheel as I waited for the lights to turn green. And then I hit the gas.

"For fuck's sake," I said when the first thing I saw was Zach pressing Jersey up against the wall. What the fuck!

I quickly bridged the distance and pulled him away from Jersey. Seriously! What the fuck was wrong with him?! Wasn't he taught as a child to never hurt a woman?!

"Niko, what the fuck!" he said when my fist met his face. He was already on the ground, looking at me while he was holding his busted lips. I told myself to calm the fuck down, but... I just couldn't.

'Just one,' I told myself and I didn't need any more convincing when it was my foot's turn to meet his face. I heard Jersey gasp. Fuck. I didn't want her to see me like this—but I also didn't want her to think that anyone could treat her that way and get away with it.

"Niko—" she said, but I kept my eyes on Zach.

"I'm gonna count to 3," I said, begging myself to calm down and not to kick him again. My mom said that it's bad to kick people when they're already down. "Get the fuck out of here or I'm gonna break your face."

"All for that whore?!"

God, who fucking raised this kid?

"One," I said because I was just... done with him. I could kick him until he bleeds, but he wouldn't change. I was tolerating him before. It was my fault. I should've just cut this asshole off from my life.

"We've been friends for years!"

"Two."

And when he finally realized that I was serious, he stood up and then threw Jersey a dirty look. "Hope that pussy's worth it," he said before he walked away. Asshole.

"Niko—"

"Are you okay?" I asked when I heard her voice again. I looked at her. I just quickly cupped her face to see if there was any scratch or bruise there. I didn't know what happened before I arrived. I hoped Zach didn't do much damage.

I didn't know Jersey that well... but I could tell that she's had enough. I just didn't want to add to the trauma.

"Do you want to press charges?" I asked after she convinced me that she was fine. I didn't know what she tells herself, but she's not that good of a liar. I knew she was lying, but I didn't want to push her. She'd tell me if she wanted to. I also hated it when people force me to tell things I wasn't comfortable enough to share.

"Wag na."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "Basta siguraduhin niya lang na 'wag na 'wag siyang magpapa-kita sa akin dahil ako babasag sa mukha niya," she said, her voice getting higher this time. Okay... she's fine now, at the very least. She's mad again. Whenever she's calm, it actually felt a little weird.

"Okay," I replied. "Have you eaten dinner?"

"Hindi pa."

"What do you want?"

"Sausage," she said and then looked at my dick and raised her brow. God, this one.

I laughed. "Later," I replied. "Real food first."

"Okay, sabi mo 'yan."

"Is it okay if we go to Jollibee?"

"Kumakain ka sa Jollibee?" she asked, sounding surprised.

"Yeah. Don't you like Jollibee?" I asked back. Did she not know Jollibee? Assia told me that this was like the national fastfood... It's weird if Jersey didn't like Jollibee.

"Duh?"

"Duh?" I mimicked because frankly, her sarcasm sometimes confuses me. Sometimes, I didn't know if she's being mean or funny.

"Duh as in duh, let's go?"

We ordered a bucket of chicken, spaghetti, burger, large iced tea, and tuna pie. God, I was hungry!

"Sobrang busy mo talaga sa school?" she asked while we were eating.

"Yeah," I replied, looking at her. And then I told myself to focus on my burger and not on her lips. I still remembered how I begged her to give me a blowjob and she just laughed at me. That was a fucking first. "I really wanted to call you, but I was literally busy."

"Ah... okay," she said, sounding disappointed. She probably misses her dick appointment.

"I wasn't kidding when I said I don't want a girlfriend right now because I really don't have the time."

She looked at me, her eyes wide open. "Boyfriend!" she said, almost gasping with disbelief. "Di rin ako naghahanap ng boyfriend! Nalungkot lang ako kasi busy ka kasi sabi mo may round 2—"

"We literally had 5 rounds the last time."

"Gawin nating 6 sa susunod."

I laughed. "Fine," I said. "Are you wearing the gift I got for you?"

She shook her head. "Malay ko bang magpapa-kita ka ngayon?"

"When you talk like that, you make me think that you missed me."

"Na-miss ko 'yan," she said as she unabashedly pointed at my dick. "Kung pwede lang i-detach ko 'yan sa katawan mo para 'di na kita kailangang kausapin."

"If that's the case, I'll just get you a dildo."

"Meron na ko."

Oh, fucking hell.

I needed the thought of Jersey taking care of herself gone from my mind.

"Then, you don't need me."

"Di rin," she said. "Iba pa rin 'yan."

"Oh, really."

She shrugged. "Gago. Gusto ng complement? Ano gusto mo? Bigyan kita ng award sa best titi?" she asked and that made me choke on the burger I was eating. Her words, for fuck's sake!

"God, Jersey..." I said after I finished the iced tea she handed me while I was choking on the burger.

She rolled her eyes. "Arte pa kasi. Akala ko ba adults na tayo rito? Bakit kailangan ko pa magpa-bebe? 'Di ba pwedeng diretso na lang, Nikolai? 'Di pwede humingi na lang ng sex agad?"

I... wow.

"Ano?" she asked when I was speechless still.

I blinked. "I mean... sure?"

"As in?"

I nodded. "Yeah... I mean, why would I say no to sex?"

She rolled her eyes. "Ano'ng sex? It's sex with me."

I laughed. "Such confidence."

"Ako pa ba?" she replied, shrugging.

I didn't know if I was just getting delirious from being too horny, but I sometimes feel when I look at her like 'damn... I finally met my match.'

* * *

I had been hanging around the bar the past few weeks. I just... wanted to be there because I didn't know I didn't know if Zach would be back. I was worried when Jersey said that she thought she had a stalker. I just didn't want to risk it... if ever. And it definitely was not helping that I was taking up CrimRev and I was having a weekly reminder of all the crimes that could be committed against humanity.

"How was school?" Mom asked.

I shrugged. "Fine. Down to the last two sems."

"That's good to hear," she replied.

I wanted to ask where Dad was, but I didn't want to spoil the mood. I heard them arguing last week. I chose to ignore it. When I was younger, every time they would argue, it made me so... sad. And then it made me mad. Now? I was just indifferent. I think it's much, much worse.

"How about you?" I asked. "Everything good with the business?"

"Yes," she replied with a smile.

"You need any help?" I asked. Although I was not that interested, I knew it's still a family business, so if she needed any help from me, I was willing to lend a hand.

"No, just focus on studying," she replied.

I shrugged. "Okay."

"Nikolai," she called.

"Yeah?"

"Are you seeing someone?"

I looked at her with a more alert disposition. My forehead creased. I knew I was, in no way, seeing Jerusha, but for some fucking reason, her face immediately crossed my mind.

"None that I know of..." I said. "Why?"

"Nothing," she replied, slightly shaking her head. "Just thought I'd ask."

"Okay..." I said, weirded out because she brought it out of nowhere. I believed that this was the first time she asked me about my 'love life.'

"But if you have, you'll introduce her to me?" she asked.

"Of course," I replied.

"Good."

"Okay..." I said again, feeling like something was wrong, but couldn't exactly point out what. "I'm really not seeing anyone," I continued.

"I believe you."

"You know that if I am, I would tell you, right? I mean, not to sound like a Mama's boy, but I do value your opinion."

Mom smiled at me. "I know," she said. "I just thought I'd ask because I heard Vito's seeing someone named Shanelle?"

"Oh..." I said. "Right," I added, not wanting to comment on that because that's Vito's shit and I didn't want to get involved. I knew he's all for Assia so I didn't know what he's doing with Shanelle. I mean, Shanelle's nice and everything but she's not Assia—and that's the problem.

"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be working?" I asked when I saw Jersey in the office. When I'd go here, I just stay inside the office because I still needed to study. Everything's so fast paced in review class that every minute of review mattered.

"Walang tao masyado," she replied and then tried to read the book that I was using. "CrimRev?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Review for Crim Law I and II. Bane of my fucking existence," I replied. She pulled the chair away and sat beside me. I felt my dick twitching when I smelled whatever it was she was using. I drew a deep breath and told myself to calm down. Acads first, Nikolai. You have to graduate. You have to march together with your friends. "So many elements to fucking remember. My brain's gonna explode."

"Tulungan kitang magmemorize, gusto mo?"

"Nah, it's good," I replied. And I didn't want her to watch me memorize these shit—I sounded like an idiot. I repeat things over and over again. It's not like it's by choice—my professor just really wants us to recite verbatim.

"Sure ka? Mabilis akong magmemorize."

"Really? How?" I asked, suddenly interested because I really wanted to be able to memorize quickly! Sancho's so good at memorizing—that's why he's so good at CivPro because it's all about procedure.

She shrugged. "Ewan ko. Kapag nabasa ko na iyong isang page tapos tinanong ako, naaalala ko kung ano'ng page iyon naka-lagay tapos makikita ko sa isip ko kung ano iyong naka-sulat."

"That's unfair!" I replied, my lips parted. "I have to torture myself trying to remember all the elements."

"Ano'ng magagawa ko? May mga taong blessed talaga," she replied, shrugging and rolling her eyes.

She snatched the book away from me and read it herself. And then I snatched it back. "Elements of Article 130?" I asked, looking at her and waiting for her to recite Article 130.

She rolled her eyes and then her forehead was creased. She acted like she was in deep thought for a second and then looked at me. "Yan ba 'yung sa searching domicile without a witness?" she asked. Fucking shit. She just glanced at the page for a second! "Kaya kong i-recite, pero 'di ko rin naman naiintindihan iyong binasa ko, okay?"

"How do you do that?" I asked. I needed to know!

"Hindi ko alam."

"That's unfair."

Jersey was teasing me about how easy it was for her to memorize things, so in return, I kept on complaining to her. I just wanted to vent and to complain—I couldn't do it to my friends because law school's just really easier for them... And it's not their fault. And it's not as if they forced me to go to law school. At the end of it all, it was still my fucking choice that brought me here.

"Bakit ka ba kasi naglaw school?" she asked.

"At first it was just for fun."

"Tanginang for fun 'yan," she said, laughing because it was really ridiculous. Who goes to law school for fun?! "Masokista ka ba?"

"Looking back, yeah, it was ridiculous. But my friends are going to law school, so I thought what the hell?"

"Bakit 'di na lang kayo nagtravel o kung anuman? Kakaiba naman ata trip niyong magkakaibigan?"

"Been there, done that. We did Semester At Sea," I said. That was fun... but also tiring. But at least I met lots of people! I felt like I could go anywhere in the world and I'd know at least one person. "It's kind of a school, I guess? But instead of classroom, you stay on a ship and you stop in different countries and immerse in their culture. Things like that."

She was still staring at me. Maybe SAS was interesting for her? So, I just continued to tell her stories about what happened while I was doing my semester around the world.

"How about you?" I asked. "Any plans?"

"Di uso sa 'kin magplano."

"Why?"

"Plano ko lang mabuhay araw-araw," she said. I was actually disheartened by her answer, but knowing what I knew about her? She didn't want anyone to pity her. It was obvious how hard she was fighting for herself—she didn't need anyone's handouts.

"No dreams?"

"Pass."

"Why?"

"Mangangarap tapos 'di naman matutupad. Pinapaasa ko lang sarili ko."

"Humor me. What's your dream?" I asked... because everyone has a dream. No matter how farfetched or how faint, everyone has a dream. When I was younger, I just wanted to be a butler. Looked fun—you'll just basically order everyone around.

"Bakit? Tutuparin mo ba?" she teased.

I shrugged. Who knew? Maybe.

But then she looked at me and she sounded so serious. I was forced to stare at her. There was this... dreamy look on her face. Like she was trying to make it light, but there's some deeper meaning behind it. "Pangarap kong maging mayaman."

"Iyong mga tao na nagsasabi na hindi nabibili ng pera ang kaligayahan, sigurado ko never pa nila naranasan magutom—'di pa nila naranasan na tubig lang iniinom mo sa buong araw kasi wala kang pambili ng pagkain. Iyong tipong bente na lang pera mo kaya bibili ka ng skyflakes tapos pang isang buong araw na 'yun. O kaya lalakarin mo na lang kahit malayo kasi sayang naman 'yung pamasahe." She took a deep breath. "Saka sigurado ako na lahat ng problema ko masasagot ng pera."

I looked at her and nodded. "You're right—money's great."

She laughed. "Akala ko sasabihan mo ako ng mukha akong pera."

"I'd be a hypocrite if I say that," I said, shrugging. "I definitely enjoy all the perks money has given me."

"Swerte mo."

"I know," I replied. "Any other dream?" I asked. "Like... do you wanna be a singer? Dancer? Cook? Pilot? I don't know. Anything you wanna be?" She shook her head. "Why?"

"Ayoko lang," she said. "Pangarap ko lang talagang maging mayaman. Ikaw na lang," she continued. "Ano'ng pangarap mo? Maging abogado?"

"I seriously don't know."

"E matatapos ka na sa course mo, ah?"

"Yeah."

"Pero 'di mo gusto?"

"Not that I don't like it... I just... don't love it, I guess."

"E bakit nandyan ka pa?"

"Fear of missing out," I said. "I hate studying but I enjoy studying with my friends. Is that weird?" She shook her head. "If you find anything you wanna do, tell me."

"Bakit naman?"

I shrugged. "I'm rich. Maybe I'll put my money into some good use."

"Weh? Paano kung sabihin kong maglo-law school din ako?"

I laughed... although I seriously thought Jersey would be good at law school—she's good at memorizing, so that's already an advantage. "I really won't recommend it."

"Sabi mo kahit anong gusto ko."

"Law school is hell."

"Mabilis akong magmemorize."

"It's more than memorizing—it's analyzing."

"Blessed akong tao."

"Fine. I'm gonna enroll you. Don't come whining when things get hard," I warned her because to be honest, when I attended my first class, I almost vomited because of too much nervousness. I didn't even know it was possible to be that nervous.

She rolled her eyes at me. "Wag kang maiinggit kapag mataas ang grades ko."

"It's 3 in the morning here," Yago said.

"Good morning, I guess?" I replied.

He yawned. "What's this about?"

"I just need your opinion," I said.

"About?"

"I'm too young and too hot to be a sugar daddy."

His forehead creased. "What? What are we talking about again?"

"I haven't gotten to the point yet," I said. I didn't want to discuss this with Sancho and Vito because I felt like I wouldn't get any useful response from those two—especially Vito because he's being very strange lately.

"Fine," he said as he sat up. His lights were still out, so I was just seeing his face. When he went to the US, he decided to cut everyone out, but I just sent him a short message telling him that whenever he needs to talk, I'll be right here. We've been talking twice a month, but I never brought up Rory with him. It's just the right thing to do.

"As I've mentioned, I have no desire to be a sugar daddy."

"Okay?"

"But... what if it's for academic purposes? Like I wanna send somebody to school."

"You mean having a scholar?"

"Yeah."

"So why not just call her a scholar? Why call yourself a sugar daddy? Seriously, Niko, you're the one making this weird."

"Huh. You're right. Go back to sleep," I said and then I ended the call. Then when I saw Jersey again, I told her about how I would send her to school. I didn't call myself her sugar daddy because frankly, that just sounded weird...

But with Jersey's application to law school, we needed to get her credentials. It was obvious that Jersey didn't want to go there. She already mentioned before that the people from her place were a bunch of assholes. Jersey could be sarcastic when she wanted to... but at the same time, she's a really nice person. I didn't understand why they were so mean to her.

We were walking on the school grounds when suddenly, Jersey stopped and talked to the person right in front of us.

"Gusto mong kuhanan ng picture para mas mapagpantasyahan mo pag-alis namin?" she asked, sounding rather aggressive. Okay. What was happening?

"Buhay ka pa pala," the stranger replied. Was this one of the epals from her place?

"Obvious ba?" Jersey replied, rolling her eyes so hard like how she usually rolls them when I was making her come. "Lumayas ka nga sa harap ko at may kukunin pa kami."

"Boyfriend mo?" the stranger asked. I didn't like her tone. Now, I was sure that this one's a part of the assholes of the barangay.

I looked at Jersey who was just silent. She looked like she was debating on what she'd answer, so instead, I answered for her. "She's my wife," I said, and then just stared at the stranger. I, normally, was nice to people. My rule is I'd be nice until I decide that you're an asshole. But this one's an exception. "If you'll excuse us," I said while I held Jersey's hand and we walked away. I felt her shaking and trembling a little. She was so mad... I wondered what was it that they did to her...

"Was I convincing?" I whispered to her instead to distract her.

"Asawa mo 'yan? Alam mo ba na pokpok 'yan?"

Oh. Wow.

That fucking word again.

I would never hit a woman. But I called her that fucking word. Zach called her that fucking word. And now here she was, calling her that fucking word again.

It's like... can't this woman catch some fucking break?!

I just took a step forward so that she could clearly hear each word that I would say, but Jersey quickly held my arm like she was trying to stop me.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" I asked, staring right into her eyes so that she could put this through that thick skull of hers. "Who she is and what she does—it's none of your fucking business. God, no wonder she doesn't want to go here. Pathetic."

* * *

I was pissed but I didn't want to be pissed. Jersey's such a good company, so I was fine a few hours after. Although we were stuck in this place because we still needed to wait for the documents. We stayed in some small hotel. I seriously would rather sleep in my car, but I didn't want to be maarte.

So, when Jersey asked me if I wanted to have a drinking game with her, I agreed because I just wanted to get drunk so that I could sleep. I just... had a history of sleeping in hotel beds with bed bugs. The thought was already making me anxious. I needed to drink.

"What's at stake?"

She shrugged. "Ano ba'ng gusto mo?"

"Since you'll lose, I'm giving you the chance to choose," I said, because I'd been waiting for this opportunity! "Fine. Blowjob if you lose."

"Sus, maliit na bagay," she said. God... that mouth of hers. The things I would do.

"And you said swallow, not spit."

"Oo kahit hanggang lalamunan ko pa, 'di ako susuko."

"Ready ka na bang matalo?" Jersey asked me cockily while she was preparing the drink.

"I literally own a bar."

"Laking kanto ako."

"Let's just see who's the better drinker, shall we?"

"Iinom lang ba tayo? Ang boring naman."

"What do you wanna do?"

"Hmm... kada shot, pwedeng magtanong ng kahit ano. Kapag ayaw sagutin, dalawang shot," she said.

"Unfair. I have lots of secrets."

"Ako rin. Duh. Ikaw lang mysterious?"

I laughed. "Fine. Double-shot for me, then."

"Ikaw una."

"Ladies first."

She rolled her eyes. "Takot ka?"

I shrugged. "Just being the gentleman that I am."

I literally got wasted in the streets of Italy and at one point got lost and Vito and Sancho found me partying with the Italians in some street. I would be fine.

"Fine," she said. "Tanong?"

"Do you really wanna go to law school? Because I can enroll you in another school."

"Hindi ko alam. Hindi ako nagjojoke nung sinabi ko sa 'yo na wala akong pangarap," she replied. "Gusto mo ba talaga mag lawschool? Hirap na hirap ka na."

I shrugged. "I only went there for my friends. I wasn't kidding when I said I have a fear of missing out. My friends are my family," I answered. "Do you have friends in Manila? Just curious."

She nodded. "Meron," she replied. "Sino si Assia?"

My forehead creased. Assia again? What's with Assia?

"I told you—basically a sister," I answered. "Who are your friends?"

"Friend lang. Isa lang," she replied. "Nagka-crush ka sa kanya?"

My forehead was creased. Why was she asking about Assia? If I didn't know any better, I'd think that she's jealous of her... But Jersey's a very straightforward person. If she likes me that way, she'd tell me herself.

"Vito literally had googly eyes when he met her—that was like a clear sign to back off," I said. "Fine. Who's that friend?"

She averted her eyes and then downed the shot. "Ikaw."

"What?" I asked because why was it my turn again? Was I drunk?! Already? The fuck.

"Ano naman kung nagka-googly eyes o heart eyes man iyong Vito? Nagka-crush ka ba?" she asked.

"You didn't answer my question."

"Sinagot ko na, baliw. Lasing ka na." I held my face. It didn't feel that hot yet, but I was already feeling it. What the fuck was that drink? "Ano? Naiinitan ka na, no? It's a sign."

"Where's the remote? It's so fucking hot in here," I said as I tried to fan myself using my shirt. This little voyeur was looking at my abs. I knew she liked it—she liked licking it whenever we'd have sex.

"Ang lamig kaya! Sagutin mo na. Nagka-crush ka ba kay Assia? Yes or no?"

"Why are you curious?" I asked, brow arched.

"Double shot dahil mukhang ayaw mong sagutin," she said, evading the question.

Did she... like me?

Or was I just drunk?

God, this was confusing.

"Jersey..." I said after a while because the world was already spinning and I was seeing three Jerseys. I wanted to sleep already.

"Oh?"

"I feel so hot. I can't find the aircon. I'll remove my shirt," I said as I quickly removed my shirt. I... seriously didn't know what was happening anymore, but all I could see were the three Jerseys staring at my tattoos. I liked my tattoos. I think Jersey likes them, too, because she keeps on tracing them whenever she'd touch me.

"So... talo ka na?"

"Nah," I said, refusing to admin defeat. "Give me water."

"Ikaw kumuha."

"The world is currently spinning."

"So, talo ka na nga?"

"Hell fucking no. I want my blowjob," I said because I really did want it! I dreamt about it! "I'm not drunk, okay?"

"Gapang ka na."

I tried to stand up, but I always ended up on the floor. And I didn't know why I started talking about giving her a house. God, I was so drunk. I wanted to sleep... but blowjob... I wanted Jersey's mouth around my dick... That's what dreams are made of...

"You want a house? I'll give you a fucking house," I said. I am Jersey's sugar daddy. This woman could probably ask for my arm and I would just ask why but would give it to her eventually. "You want money? I have lots of money."

She was looking at me.

I liked it when her eyes were on me.

"We have lots of houses, you know? I only know about... 6 here in the Philippines? I'm sure there are more. My dad has lots of mistresses. He's quite literally the fucking worst. God, I wish I could tell this straight to his lying face."

My chest was tightening. I... never talked about this, but damn it felt good to finally be able to talk about this. It felt like this boulder had been lifted off of my chest.

But then Jersey stood up.

I held her hand.

"Stay. Please," I begged. I just... needed her here. Right now. I never found someone I was comfortable enough to be able to talk about my dad. My friends had their own problem. I didn't want to burden them. People around me thought I didn't have any problems. But with Jersey, I felt like I could just say anything and she would never judge me.

Or maybe I was just drunk.

The filter was fucking coming off.

"I'm drunk, right?"

"Sobra."

"I've never been drunk," I said. "Feels nice to feel drunk."

"Gusto mong tubig?"

"No. Just stay here."

"Okay."

"I wanna talk."

"Nag-uusap naman tayo."

"No. I wanna talk... like for real..."

"Ayoko. Lasing ka na, e. Baka may sabihin ka na hindi mo naman gustong sabihin."

"But I wanna talk," I said. "My friends... I love my friends but I can't talk to them about things like this... I wanna talk about this. I wanna trash my father so badly. Will you listen?"

She was quiet.

I wanted to tell her my story.

I bet it would feel good to finally have someone who would listen.

"My mom met my dad when she was backpacking through Northern America... Love at first sight and that kind of bullshit. My dad was a farmer, you know? My grandparents didn't want them to get married because... you know? Sometimes, rich people suck. But they really wanna be together so they had me. My mom brought my dad here in the Philippines. My family, not wanting the fucking shame or whatever, made my dad take business classes and basically tried to change him... for him to fit in their world."

She was looking at me.

I wanted to kiss her.

And just hug her.

And keep her.

Was that normal?

Or... was I really falling for this woman right here? 

**
This story is chapters ahead on Patreon (patreon.com/beeyotch). Subscription starts at 100php per month for all stories.

If you're having any problems with your payment, you can email [email protected] for assistance.