☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

°•. ┊ Wildest Dreams ┊.•°
✧ ˚ ━ burning red, act one

CHAPTER TWO — she's back

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I pull into the parking lot, noticing that B's not here yet, so I sit and wait, seeing as I've got a little bit until my shift starts. I remove my cardigan and drop it into my passenger seat, leaving me in my tank top. Thankfully, Bradley arrives relatively soon after I do and we talk about our days, as he opens the door, allowing me to enter first. I walk in backwards, so I can face him, as I get ready to tell him about my meeting earlier. When I finally face forward, barely inside, somehow my eyes immediately land on one of the last people I was expecting to find. Okay, obviously I know he's in town and this is a naval bar, but still, it's my bar. A safe haven, if you will. I was hoping I wouldn't see him. I freeze, my sentence stopping short, and Bradley's gaze following my own. I turn around and start to walk back out of the open door, when B grabs my arm, and flips me around. He shoves me inside and Penny's got her eyes on me, so there's no way out now. I'm getting him back for this. I don't know how, but I'll figure it out. I take notice of a certain brunette hiding behind Jake, glancing at the ring on my finger, but refrain from letting my emotions over her presence drown me, and get right to work. I get behind the bar, placing my bag underneath it, and replenishing Mav's drink. "Thanks, Sawyer. You gonna take the offer?"

    "I was considering it, but now..." I glance over my shoulder, listening to the conversation between the pilots. "I don't think so. I can't see any of them wanting to learn from a quitter. I'm not even sure if I have anything to teach them. What about you, Big Shot?"

    "You know what? I am right there with you." He holds up his glass. "Nothing to teach. I doubt he'd listen to me, anyways." His last remark is referring to Rooster. Ah yes, the ongoing tension that suffocates the pair. They both had their reasons. I understand why Maverick pulled his papers, but it wasn't right for him to abuse his power like that. Just how I understand that Brad wanted to follow in his fathers footsteps; it makes him feel closer to Goose. The two of us are interrupted from a presence behind me.

"Oh how the mighty have fallen..." Jake's voice rings through my ears, causing me to turn and face him. And also sending a wave of nausea through me. "Hey there, Rivie."

"Drop the nickname, Bagman." I huff, wiping down the counter that his arm is resting on, forcing him to move. "What can I get you?" I flash him an ingenuine smile, uninterested in the conversation and the guilt that's clawing at me. He requests four beers on Mav, to which I oblige happily. Jake sends Mav a wink, taking a quick glance at me, before heading back over to the pool table. I watch him walk away, my eyes traveling across the group, and locking with Phoenix's; the two of us sharing a smile. A rush comes in and I am completely swamped, but I'm not complaining. Once things seem to mellow out a bit, I find the Hugo girl sitting at the bar, with a grimace on her face, I assume due to the presence of my best friend. I make her a vodka and tequila mix, placing it down in front of her. "Your drink is on your dad, Lils." I breathe, sending her a soft smile, as her head snaps up and her gaze meets mine.

"Sawyer," She starts with a smile. "A woman after my own heart." There's a halt in the conversation, when she abruptly stands and pulls me into a hug, causing me to release a sigh of relief. I feel any anxiety and nausea wash away, leaving me with a sense of calm. When we pull away, I force a sentence that's going to lead to a discussion I'm not entirely sure that I want to have. I tell her that we have to talk and she seems to share my nerves, as she downs her drink. "Yes, we do." I approach Penny and let her know that I'm taking my break, before Lil and I push our way through the crowd of people and exit the building. The door closes and the silence is deafening. I can hear my heart thumping in my chest and my breathing is uneven. My lip is pulled between my teeth once more and I find myself twisting the promise ring that sits upon my finger.  The second someone speaks, the world is going to spin off its axis and everything that was left unsaid years ago will be out there in all its painful and vulnerable glory. "Look, Sawyer...I'm so sorry for the way I left that day. I just...I knew that if I saw you face to face, I wouldn't have been able to leave. I have thought about the way I left things and my biggest regret is that I never gave you a proper goodbye." She pauses, taking my hand in hers, stopping my fidgeting, and giving it a soft squeeze. "That I didn't give you the goodbye you deserve." A lull in the conversation, indicates that it's my turn to speak; although I can't quite find the words. I swallow the lump in my throat.

"You know if we wait any longer, it's only gonna hurt more." My voice is hoarse and my words are unsure. There's multiple ways that this conversation can go and none of them are too appealing. And I have millions of questions running through my mind, seeing as none of this has ever seemed to make sense. The familiar feelings of abandonment and betrayal creeps into my head, forcing the question out of my mouth. "Why did you leave?" She releases my hand and runs it through her hair.

"I couldn't stay. Not knowing that he was here. Not knowing that for some reason, I wasn't enough. That I did something wrong and made him walk away from us. Not when I was still clinging onto him and he didn't love me anymore." Lil vents, taking a few pauses in between. Her words confuse me and hurt me. It hurts that she didn't feel like she could come to me. I am well aware of Bradley's problem with expressing his feelings, always have been. I've always been his middle man, his translator when it comes to what he means and she knows that. Why, why couldn't she come to me? I could've helped. I could've shed a light on it. We could have figured out something, so she wouldn't have had to leave. None of this makes sense. I can't imagine Bradley doing anything to indicate that he didn't love her, because I know that even now, he still does.

"Why do you think he didn't love you anymore?"

"Because that is what he told me." Lilith's words catch me off guard. My brows furrow in confusion, her eyes close, as her emotions clearly become too much for her. I open my mouth to respond, but it closes, as I am at a loss for words. Which doesn't happen often. "He told me that he didn't love me anymore after what I did." A chuckle of disbelief escapes her lips. "But I don't know what I did. I've wondered what I did to make him not love me anymore."

"It wasn't that he didn't love you, Lils...he felt betrayed. And clearly lacks communication skills. And Bradley runs when things get hard." I tell her, slightly peeved by the fact that B kept that from me. He never, not once, told me that he said those words to her. "Besides, he'd be an idiot not to love you. And as much as I tease him; Bradley is no idiot." My hand comes to rest on her shoulder, as a form of comfort.

"Why would-" She stops herself and her form of question piques my interest. "How did I betray him?" It's only then, in that moment, where I realize that Lilith truly doesn't know. She hasn't had a clue for years about why Bradley walked away from their relationship. And now I have to be the one to tell her...

"You don't know?" I ask, despite being pretty sure of the answer. Completely consumed with confusion and a twinge of sadness. She responds telling me that she doesn't in a snappy manner, but I know that she isn't upset with me. "Lils...Maverick pulled Bradley's papers." I watch a range of emotions cross her face and I can see the gears turning behind her eyes.

"He-" The girl stops herself to breathe. "You mean, my father is the reason all of this happened?" I stay quiet, knowing that it's a rhetorical question; one that comes from a place of astonishment. "I can't believe him. And he didn't even tell me! I cried to him, not knowing why it happened, and all this time...he was the reason!" Lilith removes herself from my touch, beginning to pace around. I watch as the rug gets pulled from under her and everything she thought she knew, comes crashing down. I call out her name, in a weak attempt to calm her down, but it doesn't seem to register, as she continues to mutter in anger and pace. "I mean, how do you deal with that? Holding someone as they cry and not telling them that you're the reason they are crying?" As the girl before me continues to fly off the handle, I rack my brain for a way to calm her down, and react; encompassing her face in my hands, forcing her to stop and look at me.

"Lilith Hugo, you listen to me." I start, looking into her eyes and getting lost for a moment. "There is no way you could have known what your dad did. Okay?" My voice is firm, aware of the tone that'll get through her thick skull. She removes my hands from her face, nodding slightly, and sending me a small smile.

"Okay." Lily breathes, relaxing a bit more. "We got a little off topic." The brunette drops my hands completely, moving to touch her hair again; a nervous tick of her own.

"Right, well, that's normal for us. What now?" I question, giving her an out by asking something general. Silently begging her to take it, as I am unprepared for this conversation. And she brings it up; the only part of her goodbye that has been playing in my mind for years. And then her voice goes dormant, so I fill the silence. "The confession you left."

"I will always love you, Sawyer. Always, but we both know nothing could happen. Even if I stayed all those years ago, we never would have happened. Because what if it didn't work out? I care about you too much to even think about the risk of losing you like that." Her words, although true, cut like knives. Nothing could happen. Our lives without one another wouldn't make sense and her life without Bradley wouldn't make sense either. Neither would mine. The boys are our best friends; and our greatest challenge.

"I know." I finally speak and even then, I'm not sure that it's the right thing to say. "And in case you didn't know, I love you too." A smile forms upon my face and she returns the gesture. Lilith wraps her arms around my waist, as we share a hug. A real, genuine hug for the first time in a while. And I relax into her touch, as she presses her lips to my temple, and all seems right in the world.

"So, still best friends?" She asks when we pull away.

"Always." A laugh falling from my lips.

[word count: 2003]

lexi's letters; you have @officiallypadfoot to thank for this double update :))