My mom asked how i was on the way to therapy and i told her i was not doing well but that things had to get better right? She agreed and we chatted about school and work. Therapy wasn't that far from School.

                       "Well well you've had quite a week havent you?" Ms. Dryer asked putting her glasses on. "You could say that." I said taking a seat. "So where should we start?" She asked.

                        I told her about me getting drunk, and then the stuff at the prom. Then i told her about the cops coming to my house and the kids at school. "Speaking of the kids at school. It's time." She said. I knew exactly what she meant. Talking to Alysa's friends. "No no, not now. Not this week. Not when everybody thinks i'm a murderer surley they won't talk to me now. Not when all of this is thrown in there faces again. They were probably just getting over all of it."             

                        "Look i know you don't want to talk to them. But the lawyer is going to want to know all you know. The more you tell him the better he can help you." "I can't do it you don't know the way they look at me." "I don't need to know, i know that you have remembered a lot. But not all of it. If you talk them maybe something will trigger your memories again."

                       "Really what more can i remember?" "More then you think, you have to be missing some vital  part. You said you didn't want to sleep with Alysa but somehow you did. Maybe she told them your relationship was more then it was. Or maybe she told them something she didn't tell you, even if it was something small. I really think this is for the best."

                        "Fine i'll do it but i don't like it." "Don't you trust me? The last time you talked to Alysa's mom didn't that go well?" "Yes i suppose it did, you know i havent told her that her daughter was pregnant. I don't know if she can handle it." "Yes but you really should tell her." "I figure as much, but I think I'll just take one battle at a time."

                       "What did you tell the police?" "Everything I know. I just want all of this to end. "Do you think they'll contact other people?" "They have asked her friends and even her mom. That's a lot of evidence against me they probably all think I did it!!" 

                        "Even if they all say you're guilty it's really what the jurry thinks isn't it." "Yes but you never know how they will vote." "They can decide that you were just troubled thats why i think you should go and talk to her friends. If you remember something big enough there won't even be a trial."

                      "I guess." "What else worries you?" "The police had to of told Alysa's mom she was pregnant Even if i didn't." "I would imagine so." "Well she hasn't tried to call me or anything. Don't you think she would want to? I mean the way she acted after she died." "Maybe she is taking some time to process all of this."

                       "Maybe but it sucks knowing she knows and not knowing what she thinks of me. She probably hates my guts." "Why would she it's not as if you made her have sex with you. Her mom isn't stupid she probably knew how much her daughter liked you and with you dating this other girl she probably saw that you didn't exaclty return those feelings. Maybe thats why she hasn't called you. She has nothing to say."

                   "Maybe but it's killing me either way, and the kids at school are so horrible. They never had a problem with it before but now that the cops are involved i'm a killer." "Look the only person who knows if you are a killer or not is you. So if you didn't do it then that's your answer. You're going to just have to let what people say go. Its never going to end here. People are always going to have something to say."

                  "Yes but i think things about people all the time and i don't say them because they would hurt there feelings." "Well you're not most people. Kids can be mean and cruel it's just how they are. They think you did something wrong and they are going to call you out on it."                         

                  "Well it's not as if they have the right to pass judgment they do stuff to and it's stuff nobody knows." "It's not that, it's that they think what you did is so much worse then what they did, being a christian woman I read the bible alot and it says that no sin is greater then any other sin. They are all the same in Gods eyes."

                 "Yea but not the world's thats why you get different years of jail time depending on what you did. If we all got the same time people would just be out sooner and doing the same stuff they were before. They woudn't have learned anything." "But that's just it, nobody knows if they truly are sorry for what they did and deserve to be out. You just have to take the time given to you and hope its enough."

                 "Well i don't want to go to jail. What if they try to kill me you know an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth I read the good book a few times i know." She smiled. "I don't think they will kill you because of the alchol but unless you tell them something to change there minds you may be facing jail time." "I know and that sucks beyond belief."

                 "Yea, so you didn't remember anything new?" "Not other then getting Alysa pregnant, i feel so stupid it was one time. Where was God then?" "God works in mysterious ways, and sometimes we don't know why he does certian things." "Like why Alysa is dead, i'd sure like to know why." "Well i dont know that you ever will."

                    "Sounds about right." My phone vibrated in my pocket. "It might be the cops, i should answer it." I said pulling it out.

                     "Hello? Yes this is him. What? I don't understand....What do you mean bad president? Are you serious!? Fine thank you." "Is everything ok?" "No that was my college where my scholarship is, aparatnly they think it's bad president having a murderer go to school there. This is nuts."

                   "I'm sorry, but a lot of colleges do that. They want people to see the college as clean and safe so thats one of the things they can boast about." "Right well this sucks are we almost done?" "Yes just a few more minutes talk to me though are you planning on talking to Alysa's friends?" "Yea sure i'll see em at school monday and ask them what they know." \

                   "Druring lunch don't you think a more private setting would be better so you could talk to them longer?" "No lunch is fine. I might need witnesses" The alarm beeped and i got up. She opened the door. "Ok i'll see you next week." "Yea sure if i'm not in jail by then." She didn't say anything i figured she didn't know what to say.

                      My mom was sitting on the curb, i opened the door and climbed in. "Well." She said. "I got a very interesting phone call earlier." My mom said. "Let me guess school called you to?" "What? No, the doctor i have you an opointment for tommorow to get the cast off. I'll pick you up before lunch so we can grab something to eat. So if you have any tests you can settle that with your teachers."

                       "Really? Good, so the school called." "What did they want?" "To let me know i'll be getting a job a burger king." "What??" "They revoced my scholership." "Oh no Chase i'm so sorry." "It's ok, it is what it is." "Arent you more upset about this?" "I'm devistated i really wanted to go now what are we going to do? I'm going to actually have to get a job at Burge King to pay for school."

                     "Your dad and I will figure something out." "Mom you can't do this, i hate being a burden on you guys. All i do is cost you money this is not fair!" "Chase were your parents we love you and would do anything for you."

                  "Yea." I said leaning back in my seat. We got home and my mom started on dinner i went to my room to study for my tests. I knew i had one test forth block so i would ask my teacher if i could take it monday. I was going to study today anyways so i wouldn't have to study during the short weekend.

                     My dad came home about an hour later and we had a reapet of the converstation from the car. When i told my dad what happened he said it was ok and that he and my mother loved me. ya da ya da bleck. I was getting tired of all the feelings going around here. I mean seriously a guy tries to kill himself one time and they never let  it go.