INCLUDES SELF-HARM, BULLYING, ATTEMPTED SUICIDE, FAMILY FIGHTS

HINTS TO DRINKING

THIRD P.O.V

She stared out at her backyard in New York from her bedroom window, her very young sister sitting on her lap. She could hear her parents fighting, although the sister on her lap knew nothing of what was going on. She tried her best to shut it out. But she still heard the cries.

A broken wine bottle went flying across the room. Mickey held Emily close. Her Dad's face was red, her Mom's fists were clenched tight. Mickey quickly pulled Emily out of the room. "Why are they fighting?" Emily asked, barely able to speak.

"I dunno, Em. I don't know," Mickey shook her head in reply.

Mickey sighed. "I-I... I'm going with Dad," she announced.

"What?!" her Mother growled.

"I'm sorry..."

"Go pack your bags, sweetheart," her Father said.

Mickey dragged herself out of the room.

Her happy days were over. Taking care of a drinking Dad at age 12 was horrible. And her social life was no better. As her bruised legs stepped into the classroom, a boy immediately shouted, "Ha! It's the loser! What do you think her Dad did last night? Spank her?!"

The teacher glared at the boy. "That is a very rude thing to say!"

"It's okay..." Mickey shook her head as she made her way to her seat. "It's... it's just another day."

The razor was shaking in her hands. Age 14, the self-harm thoughts were powerful. She stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She was about to cut herself. For the first time. Then someone called her name. She put the razor down next to the sink and made her way to where her Dad sat in the lounge. "I don't feel so good..." her Dad complained

"You need to stop drinking, Dad," Mickey said.

"I know... but it feels good!"

"I'll put some of yesterday's pizza in the microwave so you don't have to worry about dinner, okay?"

"Thank you."

She made sure her sleeves covered her arms. The names came as she moved through the hallway. Freshman year was off to a horrible start. Yet... she didn't want to end it all. She was perfectly content dragging the razor across her forearms. 

"Loser!"

"Weirdo!"

"You don't belong!"

"Your Dad's a drunk, no wonder you're so dumb!"

"Go die in a hole!"

"No-one likes you!"

"We all hate you!"

The words hurt. She tried to pretend they didn't.

Finally, some friends. Two to be exact. They all suffered. Together. Billy, the Coma Boy, mocked for being new to life despite the fact he was 15. Tibby, one of the nerdiest, most weirdest guys you'll ever meet. Both boys were beat to a pulp, everyday. That was... until Mickey came along. Numb to anyone but those close to her, she cared not for the bullies she harmed. You shouldn't hurt bullies back. But Mickey did anyway.

The school bathrooms weren't the place to self-harm. Em Pegg walked in on Mickey slashing her skin, the tears rolling down her cheeks. Em Pegg and Mickey weren't really friends, but Em wasn't necessarily mean. She just... never stood up for her. "Mickey, what are you doing?!" Em Pegg gasped, incredibly worried for the girl she never really knew. Em Pegg scrambled to the paper towels, wrapping them around Mickey's bleeding arms to act as bandages. She snatched the razor away, tucking it into her pocket. Mickey looked at Em, the tears starting to spill more. "I hate my life..." Mickey whimpered.

Mickey had three friends now. Later in her Sophomore year, she hangs out with Billy, Tibby and Em Pegg. Although the bullying is not as bad, it's still a third the school staring, a third of the school being mean and the other third just pretending she doesn't exist. She still cuts, although less often. Her Dad still drinks, maybe more than he did some years ago. If anything, life was somehow worse for Mickey than it once was. How that was... she didn't know.

The notes were on her Dad's bed. She walked into the kitchen, where her Dad was getting a beer out of the fridge. "I'm going up on the roof," she said.

"Okay, whatever," her Dad replied, somewhat absent-mindedly.

She stared at the town of Kollok below her. She slid her beanie further down her head, almost to cover her eyes, and took a deep, shaky breath of the air around her. "Well... this is the day..." she started telling herself. "This is the day the pain finally ends..." She smiled sadly. "Goodbye, Earthly realm, goodbye to what it entails. Goodbye to the land, the seas, the things that live. Goodbye to those who cared, see you in Hell those who bullied. Get well, Dad. Goodbye my living body. Never again will I inhabit you. Goodbye cruel world."

She jumped.

Only... she didn't fall. She felt a tight grip around her wrist, and someone pulling her back into a hug. "Mickey, what the Hell was that about?!" Tibby exclaimed.

Mickey didn't reply. She didn't pull away. She held him close. And she cried. She let it all out, right into Tibby's shoulder. All the pain. Actually, not all the pain. The pain she felt was somewhat infinite. All the sorrow. All that she wanted to let out, but what scared to do so. "I hate it all, Tibby," she whispered eventually. "I hate life. The horrible people. Me. My thoughts. The life I've lived. I just want it to be over. Why can't it be over?!"

Mickey finally wiggled out of Tibby's grip. Tibby still held her hands tightly. "If you're going... I'm going with you. That is, if you want to do it. Maybe life can be better. No, screw the maybe, and the can. Life will be better. You still have so much more to live for. And..." Tibby's face went red. "And I want to live by your side. I want to be there, no matter what happens."

"I have to do it. No-one else wants me here but the four people who genuinely care for me."

"You don't need loads of people! All you need is strength and a few close people who love and support you unconditionally. You have that. You're a very strong girl, Mickey. You've made it this far. Why put all that effort to waste?"

Mickey bit her lip. She stood, pulling Tibby up with her. She planted a soft kiss on his lips. "Thank you so much, Tibby. Maybe I will give life a chance."

And give life a chance she did. The Black Dog still follows her around, although it's more shy now. The clouds are slightly less grey. The sun feels warmer. All it took was courage and support.

Anyone can do it.

Because there's always at least one person out there who believes in you.

You don't need loads and loads of friends who don't really care for you that deep.

You need just a few who love you to the end of time.

Life is hard, we know that. No-one's life is perfect. Mickey's life was the furthest thing from it. But she overcame that.

And I believe that you can get through any hardships too.