Chapter 8: Pattern Seekers


For what it was worth, Keiji stayed true to his word. Winter break passed by with much more cheer. Especially the day that it snowed. It took Himari some prodding— prodding Bisque to go out in such cold weather, and prodding Keiji to do anything but stand timidly in the snow— but the three of them wound up having an absolute blast. They made a snowman that was bigger than Himari.

Keiji was beginning to feel like a fixture of life now, in all his facets. He was Keiji in his enthusiasm, in his self-satisfaction, in his distance and professionalism, in his bitterness. Everything beautiful and everything ugly in him was all him— it was impossible to isolate any parts from the whole. Some were still somewhat masked around the Gima's, but he was finding a natural ease. A snide comment or harsh remark about something that was bothering him would sneak its way out of his mouth, and it was treated like something normal. He was a teenager after all, of course he wouldn't be perfectly pleasant and content all the time.

More frighteningly, Haruto was beginning to feel like a fixture of Keiji's life, too. His constant presence went from unwelcome to expected to... almost pleasant. And he'd started inviting himself along to other things. When Keiji had to get groceries, Bisque would meet him there. When he went to the bookstore, he'd go, too, to look at board games. Keiji wondered whether his disappearance had made him anxious. Perhaps Bisque thought that if he took his eyes off of Keiji, he'd vanish again. Regardless of the reason, it felt very odd. Even when Keiji had been cast for a quiz show and needed to really hunker down, Bisque had insisted he do it at their house, and patiently played games on mute or worked on his pottery while he studied.

It was all getting rather inconvenient. He'd had to tell his parents that he was trying out a new method; perhaps he'd remember facts easier if he could pair it with new places. Sometimes he'd even go places to "independent study" and take pictures there— pictures without Haruto, of course— to make his story seem credible. He knew that they wouldn't punish him or anything if they knew he had an actual friend. They never really punished him much at all. But he could feel their hypothetical stares of quiet disapproval. He was letting himself get distracted. And confused. So, so confused.

School was another story entirely. Keiji still insulted Haruto around people, but it felt more like an inside joke at this point. Others were far less lucky. For all his progress with Haruto in particular, he was still ruthless and ill-tempered with anyone else. People continued to wonder why Bisque was an exception to Keiji's assholery, but outside of Bisque's group of friends, they gradually lost interest. The situation just was, and they weren't gonna get any answers about it.

One night, right after a quiet and peaceful dinner, Keiji received a text.

SOS

He raised an eyebrow skeptically. For Haruto, that could mean anything from "the store was out of the thing I wanted" to "I've lost something vitally important."

What is it?


My parents both have major work meetings in different cities

On the same day

And they usually try to avoid that but they couldn't this time

And I have to be home alone for a couple nights

And like yeah I've been home alone obviously

But only for like half a day

Now I have to like take care of myself

Without majorly ruining literally everything

And I'm scared


You'll be fine. It's not like they're sending you out on the streets.


Come over. They said I could have friends over while they're gone as long as we don't trash the place


You know I have cram school. I can't start skipping classes for you.


Then come to my house once you're done! I'll still be awake by then.

Keiji thought there would be no way for that to fly; he couldn't just go somewhere overnight and not expect his parents to interrogate him. But then, he realized that they were usually sleeping by the time he made it home anyway. And they never checked on him if they woke up in the middle of the night. As long as he made it home by the time he normally woke up, they'd probably be none the wiser. He felt a twinge of annoyance, but he wasn't exactly sure where it was directed.

Yeah, okay.

You're a lifesaver!!! He then proceeded to send a grand total of seventeen smiley faces, which made Keiji snicker in spite of himself.

The book in his hand called his attention yet again. It was about higher order logic. He wandered toward his parents' room and knocked. His father answered. "Yes?"

"Would it terribly disrupt yours and Mother's workflow if I continue to read in here? I feel as though I haven't seen much of you lately."

Rin Sekiguchi seemed confused, as if wondering where this came from, but opened the door wider to let Keiji in. The three said nothing as they worked in tandem, but Keiji felt almost elated enough to pat his legs in a rhythm like Bisque did when he was abundantly cheerful.

"You seem in high spirits," his father noted. His hair was a bit out of place, and Keiji wondered whether he gave a particularly passionate lecture today. A perplexing notion came to Keiji– he liked when other people had messy hair, but hated when his own hair was anything but perfectly neat.

"Your hair is slightly askew," Keiji noted quietly. Immediately, he felt as though he shouldn't have said anything, because his father took to adjusting it as soon as he was alerted about the imperfection.

Still, oddly enough, his mother reinforced his split-second choice. "It is good to maintain a proper level of professionalism in one's appearance. Besides, neatness is eye-catching." Noriko stood up and helped Rin fix it with the slightest smile on her face. Keiji was taken by surprise. It wasn't often that he saw his parents touching one another. In fact, sometimes it was even easy to forget they were married.

"Is mine alright, Mother?"

She turned to examine him and gave a strong nod. "It's exact."

He felt that he could go on reading like this forever and it might be alright. Though, he knew he'd eventually have to go out into the world and carve his name into it. And, even more pressingly, he had to get to class.

...

"What am I supposed to do about food?! We're both absolutely miserable at cooking! I'm gonna stab myself in the hand or something stupid like that and then I'm gonna bleed all over the cutting board and I'll get so distracted by trying to sanitize the kitchen that I'll forget about my gaping wound and by the time an ambulance would get to me I'd be–"

"You want melon bread?"

"What?" Keiji turned over his backpack and at least eight packets of sweetbread fell out. He had a shit-eating grin on his face. It was a little too pleased with himself, and Haruto suspected foul play. "Why do you have all of those? You don't even like sweets."

"So, like, there's this person in one of my classes, and their whole group was being a bunch of fucking idiots dicking around in class, and I told them to be quiet because they were distracting me. And the twat had the fucking audacity to say I have a stick up my ass. But I know that this is their favorite– they buy some literally everyday from the vending machines. So for the past few restocks, I've been buying them all before they can get any."

"Keij! That's so petty! You can't keep doing this!"

"I bought it fair and square. You should be proud; I'm playing way less dirty than usual. If they want it, they should get to school earlier."

"Okay, whatever, but that's not a meal. What do I do for dinner?"

"You don't have leftovers?"

"I... um..." His words were quiet. "I told my parents to bring it along with them so that they had something to eat on their drives. I put this on myself because I wanted them to think I could handle myself. I wanted to comfort them. But I can't."

Keiji gave Haruto a quick bop on the top of the head, not hard enough to hurt, before checking the time. "It's cutting it close, but you can order in. Have a little common sense."

"S-Sorry. I tend to miss the obvious answer when I'm stressed."

"I get it. But you're acting down on yourself for no reason."

Bisque began to click around on his phone. "Mmph. Nothing healthy is open."

"Just get fast food. It's just one night. Maybe two. And if you don't want to do that tomorrow, you can go to the convenience store and get a prepackaged sandwich or something. That's what I like to do."

He tapped a few things out on his phone and then showed Keiji so he'd know the order went through. "You're so level-headed. It's kind of annoying."

"Thank... you?"

"No, it's good. I just wish I were better at that."

"You'll get there. I'm very used to taking care of myself. My parents would definitely be too restless working from home– and besides, my father is a professor– so they're often out of the house."

"No wonder you're so capable."

"My parents are quite successful. They may not have the same salaries as yours do, but I wholly believe they're pioneers in the academic world. It is an honor to be related to them." He looked down with a wistful smile and his hands, which were folded together, clenched slightly.

"I... my parents are amazing. I love them so much. But I think maybe they babied me too much. Honestly, it's not like it was even their fault. How are you supposed to help a kid act more like a grownup when he hurts himself every single time you try?" He kicked his legs idly and scratched at dried flakes of clay on his hands– the fact that he didn't care whether they got on his bed was appalling to Keiji. Though, he had to quickly adjust his brain back into a sympathetic state when Haruto picked up the subject again. "One time, I tried to make Mom and Dad breakfast in bed for their anniversary. But when I was trying to make rice, the water boiled over and I burned the crap out of my hands. I couldn't even do pottery until they healed, so I was kind of losing my mind out of boredom. That's how it always goes. I try to do something to make people feel good and I just upset them instead. Just look at how things went when I got your birthday presents." In spite of laughing, tears filled his eyes.

"That's not a fair comparison!" Keiji blurted out angrily, but Bisque didn't acknowledge it.

"So here I am, literally unable to think of getting food delivered without someone giving me the idea. I don't want them to have to look after me forever, but I can't be an adult. I get scared, and make mistakes because I'm scared, and the cycle continues."

Keiji had no idea how to comfort Bisque. He couldn't relate much to any of that, but he could feel Haruto's self-derision. "Hey. Let's, uh... let's try making something tomorrow. You can, uh, be my nose, like you said. And I can make sure you're not missing any steps or making any slip-ups."

Haruto sniffled, but grinned, getting the point. "I'll think about it."

And so, their first ever sleepover commenced. They stayed up far too late for their own good– Keiji by choice and Haruto because of insomnia– and spent those hours together playing Haruto's game and then quietly absorbing each other's presence. Even in spite of being offered one of the guest rooms, Keiji wound up in a futon in Bisque's room. Once Haruto finally managed to conk out, Keiji blinked in the darkness, trying to sort his own thoughts. What a school year this was turning out to be. All because of this little tornado that he'd helped all that time ago.

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