The SecretBusterService status update: twenty four minutes

Dear students of Califur High,

Gregory James was caught making out with Danish Diwaan. By who, you ask? By none other than our beloved Principal Gupta, who, by no surprise, freaked out and called their parents. If my sources are to be believed, and they always are correct mind you, then Danish Diwaan's parents were actually in for a surprise, since the young stud seemed to have been found, by both the principal and the parents, in the closet. Tough luck, Danish. You risked it all for a dude named Gregory. Years from now, when you tell your kids this story, they too will be baffled by your choices.
Until next time Lions,
Bond 007

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At the end of the day I made my way to the library. Jeremy technically had football practice, but this was the only time I had for him before my shift began at the hospital, and considering he wasn't going to get to play without good grades, I asked him to prioritise smartly. I usually took an hour long nap at this time, if I wasn't playing basketball on some random day, and I yawned at the thought of my comfortable bed that I would not be able to see for the next eight or so hours.

I wish I got eight or so hours just to sleep. It wasn't that I was sleep deprived just yet. That was for later in the year, the weeks leading up to the finals. Until then, I would get my daily dose of six hours. But I liked sleeping. It was my favourite activity to do.

I entered the library, looking for the familiar nest of brown hair, but I couldn't see him anywhere. Slightly confused, I made my way towards the shelves, already quite certain that he wouldn't be caught dead hanging there.

It took some time for me to see the light.

That bastard had prioritised just like I had asked him to. It just wasn't the option that I had made blatantly obvious to be the correct one.

A frustrated growl escaped my throat, "You're a dead man, Jones."

A girl, freshman by the looks of it, jumped up at the sound. She tracked the source to my face, but instantly dropped her gaze as soon as she saw me.

I guess I looked scary. Good. I needed scary for what I was about to do to that son of a bitch.

..

"Jones, get yo' ass here right now!" The coach yelled at the top of his lungs.

He had made it clear that he wasn't going to listen to me, so I had done the next best thing. I got the coach involved. I enlightened the coach about the 'little predicament', as Mrs. Calloway had called it, and that this practice was pretty useless if he wasn't studying.

Jeremy looked up at us after throwing off the ball, and his face hardened. Beside the coach, I wanted to give him a victorious gloating smirk, but my anger hadn't completely dissipated. I had given my commitment and honoured it, and so I was definitely going to expect the same respect. I didn't want to be tutoring him anymore than he wanted to be tutored, but it affected him much more than it did me.

He stood to loose more than I did. And yet, he looked as if he was willing to throw it all away.

Well, not on my watch, he won't.

"What is this shit I hear about yo' old man banning you from playin' eh? When were you, Princess JJ, goin' to enlighten me?"

Jeremy looked at me accusingly, as if I hadn't told the coach about his grades, but rather his affair with the coach's wife. In hindsight the analogy was creepier since his wife had died a few years ago.

Would it still be necrophilia if it happened with a skeleton without the flesh...?

Nah, it was fucked up either way.

Thankfully the image of a naked skeleton arousing Jones was quickly erased from my head as I focused on the present conversation instead.

"I can't skip practice, coach. I swear I'm studying my ass off for these tests. I got hours after practice, the rest of the day! I'll do it then!"

I cut in before the coach could say anything, "You might have eons to waste, Jones, but I don't, as I had explained to you already. I have a shift at the hospital after this, until 10 in the fucking night. You want my help, you do things on my terms."

"Now listen here you piece of shit-" he started, but the coach cut him off.

"Off the field, right now, JJ. I don't want to hear y'all bitch out any longer."

Jeremy looked mutinous, ready to die defending his point, but the coach was done with us. We had wasted enough of his time and he was ready to take off. He started the drills with the rest of the guys giving one last look to Jeremy that made it clear that there was no room for debate.

Without further ado, I turned on my heel, walking back to the library. I heard Jeremy mutter behind me, "You win this time, O'Sullivan. But I'm gonna make you regret your life."

I didn't really care enough to tell him that I always won in whatever I chose to do, and he couldn't possibly do anything that would make me regret my life more than I already did.

..

"So," I drawled, looking around the library at anything but his face, "What topics do you have the most issues with?"

Jeremy snorted beside me, "It's maths, bro. Are there supposed to be any topics that I don't have any issues with?"

My self control lasted a full ten seconds before I turned to him. His green eyes were full of mirth, his grin self assured. I wasn't sure how he was doing it, but whatever he was doing could only be called lounging. How one lounged on a school library chair was beyond me. The residue of my anger was still simmering below the surface, but I had more or less gotten myself back in control.

Jeremy, on the other hand, looked as cool as a cucumber. Like that little exchange on the field had never happened.

If that is how we were going to play things then fine. Two can tango.

I had gone home after my shift at the hospital and devised a plan to ensure this arrangement succeeded for the both of us. I had slept on it, and I had woken up feeling pretty good about my ideas.

Things were not going according to that plan.

"You need help with...everything? Is there anything you're good at?"

"Football," his infuriating grin remained plastered to his face.

"So...nothing."

"Hey!"

He had already admitted he was bad at maths in general. I didn't have any misguided expectations, but I still needed to gauge his level. I had made a small test, a question or two from each topic. The questions were simple; you put the formulae, you get the answer.

I had a feeling I wasn't going to like the results, but it was always good to start things from a defined baseline, instead of going in blindly and jumping from topic to topic.

I took out the test and passed it to him.

He took one look at it and his grin dropped (victory!), "Geez, O'Sullivan. What is this? I told you I don't know shit."

I wholeheartedly agreed with his self assessment. It was accurately applicable in all areas of his life, but I kept these thoughts to myself. I needed to constantly remind myself of my tutor duties. He needed help, and I was here to provide it.

"We need to determine what level we should start studying from," I sighed, "You do want to do well and play this season, right?"

He straightened his posture slightly, which meant he was still almost lounging, and nodded, "Let's start from level zero."

I groaned. Starting from level zero meant a mountain of work, not only for him but also for me. Knowing him, it probably meant more work for me than for him.

"What's two plus two?" I asked, already dreading the use of this trick.

"HA HA. Four."

"And what is sin square theta plus cos square theta?"

His eyes widened in panic for a minute as he blurted, "Four?"

It had been, perhaps, five minutes, since we had began our session, and I was already reduced to tears. A part of me thought it could've been a self esteem issue. That putting him on the spot had resulted in this mess. Even if it had been a self esteem or a pressure thing, both those problems arose because of how ill-prepared he was.

"You're not even on level zero, Princess JJ. You're on negative ten."

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Hey y'all,

Every time I type 'Hey y'all' I feel like Miss Minutes from Loki. It's a random thing I just realised. You know the way that AI has a southern drawl for some reason? I never really understood why the one who remained gave her that accent, but eh, he was a weird one. So, who knows? Probably Stan Lee. He would've known.

Anyway, moving on from Miss Minutes, I hope y'all enjoyed this update. Princess JJ is really grating our boy Thomas, isn't she?

Thanks for reading, see you soon ;)
Byeeeeeee