May 23, 2022

Word Count: 1,362

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"Why the fuck are you a rat?" I blurt.

The scrawny rat hops around in frustration on the ground in frustration. "I don't know! What the hell! I wanted to be Irene!"

"Maybe there were six of us but we only picked five characters," Kitty guesses.

"Oh, then it must be my fault that you are a rat then. Sorry, Seth." Lorraine says, but she does not sound apologetic at all.

"This is so unfair!" Seth's voice surprisingly does not change even though he is a rat. It is still as annoying as ever. "Why am I not a cool character? There isn't even a rat in the book!"

I scoop the little guy up into my palms and place him on my shoulders. "Now, now, you turned into a rat, I turned into a scrawny man, we all have bad days."

"Being a man is not as bad as being a rat!"

"I beg to differ."

"Dude, what the f—"

Seth's lament is cut short by a loud ring. A giant holographic sign, 'Quest Start!', appears in front of us before dissipating into thin air.

Quest start? What quest? We have a quest? And it's starting?

Three large ants burst out from the cave next to us. And by large, I mean large. Huge. Giant. Three times my size. My original body's size, not the size of this weak ass body I'm in right now.

Everyone screams in terror, but Seth, being right next to my ear, is yelling my head off.

"Oh my god, what is that?" Seth exclaims, his sharp nails digging into the shoulder strap of my backpack.

"Shut up, Seth!" I snap. Then, a memory floods into me. "Oh, this is the book's first quest. Giant ants! They're big but super easy to kill. We're supposed to kill them, go in, and then kill the queen ant or something."

"Uh, we kinda need to kill these ants now!" Lorraine says. "What are my abilities? What can I do?"

Before I can explain to Lorraine about Millie's abilities, one of the giant ants jumps toward 'Lyn', or Gabby. Gabby yells and lifts her hands to cover herself—only to let out a large flash of lightning from her hands. The ant disintegrates into dust, leaving only a trace of smoke behind.

There is a moment of silence before everyone whoops in delight.

"Yo Gabby, that was awesome!"

"Look at that! The Lightning Mage!"

"So dang cool!"

The celebration is cut short when the other two ants begin running toward us. Ayah jumps forward bravely and, with a punch, shoots out a large blaze of flame from her fist. Both ants are burnt to crisps. They actually smell really good, like the slightly burnt batter of fried chicken.

The girl is met with another round of cheers.

"Yo Ayah, look at you!"

"Burn! Chaos! Yay!"

"I wish I could burn people up too!"

Gabby and Ayah are grinning from ear to ear.

"I don't know how I did that," Gabby admits. "It was almost automatic."

"Same! Actually, I think we all have an automatic skill. It's listed on the skills page for me." Ayah swipes at the air as if reading and scrolling through something in front of her that we cannot see. "It's listed as 'Basic Fire Bolt' for me. And I see that I have a few other abilities that I have to unlock."

"Oh yeah, I see mine too." Gabby nods as she waves her hand around. "The skill I just did is called 'Basic Lightning Strike'. Neat."

Everybody starts to look through their skill page. I watch as they each discover something cool. A sword appears on Kitty's hand which she slashes around excitedly, while Lorraine conjures a few items in her hands like a real-life Doraemon.

Meanwhile, I am a ball of jealousy. Firebolt and lightning strike? Those are cool as heck! And Kitty's sword? I am the actual sword-owner here! But here I am stuck with the lamest character ever—the healer. Even Lorraine's conjuring abilities are more fun than healing.

Rolling my eyes, I pull up my skills page. Under the automatic skill section, it lists 'Basic Healing Spell'. That's it? I search around for more options, and I see a book icon under the 'More Skills' section. When I click on it, however, I pull up what appears to be a boring encyclopedia filled with uninteresting categories like 'plants', 'potions' and 'safety guidelines'.

Oh my god, this is literally the nerdiest character ever with the nerdiest type of magic.

"This looks cool!" Seth's voice causes my soul to almost leave my body.

"Seth! Dude! Lower your stupid voice when you're next to my ear!"

"Sorry. But dude! Look at all the information you have! This is like the coolest thing ever. You are like the Gandalf of the group."

I roll my eyes again. Of course Seth the Nerd finds this cool. Even more reason for me to hate Raph.

"Alright, let's get this mission over with," I announce exasperatedly. "Once we're done, we can get home and figure out how to make sure we are in the right bodies," I growl out the last few words from between my gritted teeth.

"Yes, please! I don't want to be a rat anymore!"

"I said keep your stupid voice down, Seth!"

"Sorry."

We dash into the cave that the ants jump out from. There is an entire army of ants behind the walls of the cave. Kitty is hacking through them as if she has been doing this her whole life, Ayah is burning the insects up into deep-fried bugs, while Gabby is zapping the creatures into dust. Behind these three powerful girls, Lorraine runs next to me—probably out of pity—occasionally conjuring a bottle of water to drink or a bar of snickers to munch on. She even offers me a bottle of coke which I appreciate.

When we finally get to the queen ant, I sit down with Lorraine as we watch the three girls fight it out. Their powers are too OP so I am not at all worried about them. Lorraine conjures up a blanket and a whole picnic of food and drinks. She is truly using her powers to the fullest extent and I am glad for her.

"What else do you want?" she asks.

"Hm. Hot Cheetos?"

And a pack of hot Cheetos materializes from thin air.

"Awesome!"

"Can I have a slice of cheese?" Seth asks.

"Here you go, little pet," Lorraine coos as she conjures a small piece of cheddar for him.

Seth grabs it with his tiny hands and begins chewing. Pieces of cheese fall on my shirt and I wince. "Ew, what the hell, stop eating like that."

I grab his cheese and start to pull.

"Hands off my cheese!" Angered, Seth bites my finger.

"You little shit!" I scream. If it was a hot girl, I would have enjoyed it, but this is Seth. And I am furious. "Seth, I'm going to fucking k—"

Seth's life is saved by another giant holographic sign. 'Quest Complete!' hovers in front of us. Yes, the girls finished the quest without any of our help. Raph's healing powers are completely useless.

I watch as the three of them give each other high fives and talk about their powers.

"Oh my god, it really feels so good to burn things up!"

"I never knew how awesome it is to zap my enemies into dust!"

"Swords are so cool! No wonder Nia buys them!"

I cannot help but let out another groan. God, I want to be the one burning and zapping and slashing!

"Let's go home now," I complain, stuffing the last of my Cheetos into my mouth and pulling up the settings page. I scroll and click around, but I cannot find the logout icon. What the hell? Where is it hidden?

"Where is the logout option?" Lorraine asks.

"Yeah, I can't find it either," Gabby says.

The more I search, the more I check on the same few pages, the more dread creeps up on me.

Oh god, there isn't a logout function, is there? This is like Sword Art Online all over again. We are stuck here. Forever.

And I am stuck as Raph.

"Oh my god! No!" Seth screams in my ear.

By instinct, I swipe him off of my shoulder and watch as he crashes onto the ground.

Oh right, Seth is stuck as a rat. That's probably a bit worse.

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To be continued...