What they would do.

John: *would spout off random letters and try to buy vowels when he doesn't have any points.*

Paul: *would play like an old lady.*

George: *would think every puzzle had to do with food*

Ringo: *would spin the wheel and land on bankruptcy every time*

What they would say.

John: *spins wheel*

Pat: Five hundred.

John: Z!

Pat: I'm sorry. There are no Zs.

*next turn*

John: I'd like to buy an O, Pat.

Pat: You can't buy a vowel.

John: And why not?!?

Pat: You're at zero points, John.

John: *picks up Pat and throws him at Vanna.*

Paul: Hmm. This is a thing. Don't tell me. Don't tell me. I've got it. Hmm. Thing, thing, thing. Um, how about, "Precious cargo"?

Pat: That's right!

*next turn*

Paul: Oh, gosh darn it, I can't think of this one. Um, "Bambi's Mother." Uh, "John Lennon." Oh, darn. Out of time.

George: "Roast Beef"!

Pat: No.

*next turn*

George: "Cheesecake"!

Pat: *slightly annoyed* No.

*next turn*

George: "Olive Garden"!

Pat: *teeth clenched* No.

*next turn*

George: I've got it this time! I know I do! . . . "Candy Bar Wrapper."

Pat: Somebody get him out of here already! He's going to make me rip out my toupee!

Ringo: *spins wheel* What? Bankruptcy?

*next turn*

Ringo: *spins again* Bankruptcy again?!?

*next turn*

Ringo: *spins yet again* Why do I keep landing on bankruptcy? Pat, I think this wheel is rigged.

Pat: *hurriedly* Commercial break!