This is a request from @Jacob-Potter!

Which characters they would be.

John: *would be Spock*

Paul: *would be Kirk*

George: *would be Scotty*

Ringo: *would be Pavel Chekov*

What they would say.

John: It appears you are going to wreck the ship, captain.

Paul: Pfft. Someone as pretty as I cannot wreck a ship.

John: Actually it's quite possible to wreck a ship, despite the fact that you may be pretty.

Paul: No one likes a smart aleck, John!

Ringo: And since I'm navigator, I can tell that you're going to wreck the ~

Paul: Shut up, Ringo. I know what I'm doing. *randomly steers ship*

George: *rushes in* Guys. Guys. *breathes heavily* The vending machine in the hallway is out of order and I can't fix it! *spikes wrench off the floor*

John: When did we get a vending machine?

George: *blinks* I just put it in.

Paul: *still steering the ship like a lunatic* Get me a Snickers bar while you're out there.

George: Did you not just hear me? It's broken!

Ringo: Er, captain, we're going the wrong way. In fact, we're going in circles.

John: I would like a Payday Bar when you fix the vending machine, George.

George: *throws up hands* You know what? I'll just break the glass out and get the candy bars.

Paul: You better sweep that glass up after you get me a Snickers.

Ringo: *bangs head on control console* Will. You. Stop. Driving. The. Ship. In. Circles.

Paul: Nope! It's fun!

John: Why did we appoint you as captain?

Paul: Because I'm pretty.

John: That was the stupidest decision we have ever made.

*crash comes from outside control room*

George: I'm back and I've got candy bars! *showers everyone with candy*

Ringo: Why am I the only sane person here?